Scared Straight

  • 11/05/2013

Denzel enlists his Detroit "Cool Friends Gang" to scare straight a misbehaving Malloy.

- FROM NOW ON,YOU GETTING IN THE BACK.

- WHAT HAPPENED HERE?- MALLOY DID IT.

WHERE ISYOUR LITTLE PRINCE CHARMING?

- DON'T ASK ME,I'M GROUNDED.

- [groans] I SAW HIM GO THAT WAYWITH A FLAMETHROWER.

- OH, I THOUGHT YOU WERE BOBBINGFOR FRENCH FRIES AGAIN.

- WHERE DID HE GETA FLAMETHROWER?

- WHAT?IT WAS CHRISTMAS.

- MALLOY IS A TROUBLED YOUTH,WOODY.

I SHOULD KNOW.I USED TO BE ONE.

SEE, BACK WHEN I WAS A KIDIN DETROIT, I WAS IN A GANG.

WE CALLED OURSELVESTHE COOL FRIENDS GANG.

AND WHEN I SAYWE WERE HARD-CORE,

I MEAN WE WERE HARD-CORE!

GET OUTTA THE SLEIGH, BITCH!

[all grunting, shouting]- OH, OH, OH, OH!

[gunshots]

- WHOA,DENZEL WAS IN A GANG!

LET'S ALL TAKE A MOMENT TO SOAKIN THAT STARTLING REVELATION.

- THIS IS SERIOUS, WOODY.

- AH,YOU'RE ALL OVERREACTING.

MALLOY HASN'T GOTTENINTO ANY REAL TROUBLE YET.

[indistinct radio chatter]

- 3 COUNTS OF GRAND THEFT AUTO,137 MOVING VIOLATIONS,

12 COUNTSOF ATTEMPTED VEHICULAR HOMICIDE,

AND HE CALLED MY PARTNERA [bleep] DIPSHIT.

- FIRST OF ALL,I DON'T KNOW WHERE

HE COULD HAVE HEARD LANGUAGELIKE THAT.

SECOND, YOUR PARTNER LOOKS LIKEA [bleep] DIPSHIT.

- IF THIS BEAR STEPS FOOTIN OUR TOWN AGAIN,

WE'RE THROWING HIM IN PRISON.

- PRISON?DON'T WORRY, OFFICERS.

I'LL MAKE SURE NOTHING LIKE THISEVER HAPPENS AGAIN.

[both screaming]

OH, GOD.MAYBE HE IS OUT OF CONTROL.

WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

- I THINK IT'S TIME I MADEA CALL TO MY BOYS IN DETROIT

TO SCARE THIS BEAR STRAIGHT.

RIGHT AFTER I PRACTICE GALLOPINGAS A MYTHICAL HORSE.

[deer grunting]AW, MAN!

- TURN TO THE RIGHT.EYES FORWARD.

- GOOD AFTERNOON, GENTLEMEN.I'M WARDEN SMALLS.

- [stifles laugh]- ELECTRIC CHAIR!

[electricity crackles]

ANYWAY, I RUN A FAIR ANDHONORABLE CHRISTIAN PRISON HERE.

RULE NUMBER ONE--NO SARCASM.

- [sarcastically]AW, THAT'S A GREAT RULE.

- WELL, LOOKS LIKE WE GOT USA REBEL HERE.

TRY THIS ON FOR SIZE.

- OW!WHY'D YOU HIT ME?

- BECAUSE AS THE BIBLE SAYS,

IT'S MUCH MORE PAINFUL

TO WATCH YOUR FRIEND SUFFERFOR YOUR SINS.

- [sarcastically]OH, YEAH, IT IS.

- THAT SOUNDS LIKEMORE SARCASM, BOY.

- UNH!

- [sarcastically]OH, NO, PLEASE, STOP.

- I'LL BREAK YOUOF THAT SARCASM, SON,

IF I HAVE TO BREAK EVERY BILLYCLUB OVER YOUR FRIEND'S HEAD.

- OW! HEY!AH, STOP! OH!

GOD DAMN!

[sarcastically]UM, HEY, WARDEN,

THAT'S A REALLY NICE TIE.TAKE THAT, MALLOY!

OW!WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!

I THOUGHT MY FRIENDHAD TO SUFFER FOR MY SINS.

- I WAS BEING SARCASTIC,IDIOT!

WELCOMETO HAZELHURST PRISON.

I GUARANTEE YOU BOYSGONNA STAY IN LINE,

OR MY NAME ISN'TWARDEN TINY SMALLS.

- [stifles laugh]- ELECTRIC CHAIR!

[electricity crackling]

- SCARE ME STRAIGHT, HUH?GOOD PLAN, WOODY.

WHEN WE GET HOME, I'M GONNASPANK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!

- YOU'RE NOT GOING HOME,MALLOY.

YOU'RE STAYING HEREUNTIL YOU'VE LEARNED A LESSON.

- OH, YOU'RE GETTINGAN ANGRY SPANKING NOW!

GET ME OUT OF HERE, WOODY.

- WELL, I--NO!

NO, I MADE MY DECISION,AND I'M STICKING TO IT!

GOOD-BYE, MALLOY!

BE STRONG, PAPA BEAR.[sniffles]

DON'T LOOK BACK.

IT'S CALLED TOUGH LOVE.

[crying]

- OH, WHAT THE--

WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU?LEAVE ME ALONE!

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