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Season 5

Baldo, Viracola, Regan, Norton

  • Season 5, Ep 508
  • 11/16/2001

David Alan Grier hosts Comedy Central's original stand-up series featuring Craig Baldo, Charlie Viracola, Chris Regan and Jim Norton.

NEW YORK CITY.

I WANT TO TAKE TIME RIGHT NOW--

I WANT TO SAY HELLO TO MY

PERTO RICAN COMMUNITY.

IS PERTO RICO IN THE HOUSE?

HOLA, COMO ESTA, AMIGOS.

MI JETAS.

DE PERTO RICO.

I KNOW THAT MY PERTO RICAN

PEOPLES HAVE HAD A LITTLE

PROBLEM UP IN HERE A COUPLE OF

YEARS AGO DURING THAT LITTLE

PARADE.

RIGHT NOW I THINK IT'S TIME

FOR US TO ADDRESS THE ON-GOING

PROBLEM.

PEOPLE OF COLOR, WE REALLY NEED

TO STOP VIDEO TAPING OUR CRIME

SCENES.

(LAUGHTER)

WHAT IS GOING ON?

WHO STARTED THIS TREND?

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

SO, THEY GOT A LOT OF GUYS

FROM FILM SCHOOL THAT KIND OF

GOT THEIR START DOING THAT,

YOU KNOW.

TAPING US DOING OUR CRIMES

AND...

ACTION, DIONDRE.

CUT.

HOLD ON.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

OKAY.

ARE YOU ROBBING?

OKAY, WELL, SHOW ME THE GUN.

KEEP YOUR HANDS HIGH.

LET'S TRY IT AGAIN.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

LOVE 'EM.

YOU GUYS ARE DOING GREAT.

I USED TO BE--

OKAY.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

LOVE THE COMEDIAN.

(LAUGHTER)

I USED TO BE IN A ROCK BAND

AND, AH--

TIMES SEEM TO BE CHANGING

WITH ROCK BANDS.

THERE'S SOME, AH--

THERE'S SOME WEIRD NUMERIC

SYSTEM GOING ON WITH ROCK BANDS

THESE DAYS.

HAVE ANY OF YOU PICKED UP

ON THIS?

I WAS LISTENING TO THE RADIO

TODAY AND AT ONE POINT THE D.J.

ON THE RADIO SAYS "ON THAT ROCK

BLOCK, WE JUST HEARD 'MATCHBOX

23, 11 THREE DOORS DOWN

AND 7 MARY 3'.

COMING UP WE GOT BLINK-182.

SONG 41, EVE 7 AND D-12."

I'M LIKE, "BINGO."

(LAUGHTER)

YOU KNOW?

IS THIS MUSIC OR BATTLE SHIP?

WHAT IS THIS?

OH, BOY.

I LOVE IT.

THEN I HEARD A SONG BY "CREED".

ARE YOU GUYS FAMILIAR

WITH THIS BAND "CREED"?

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THOSE GUYS.

I THINK THEY CONSIDER THEMSELVES

ROCK STARS.

HAVE YOU SEEN THE VH1

"BEHIND THE MUSIC" ON CREED?

WHAT A BUNCH OF WIMPS THESE GUYS

ARE, MAN.

THEY'RE INTERVIEWING THE GUYS

FROM CREED, RIGHT?

AND HE'S TALKING ABOUT THE

LOW POINTS IN THE BANDS CAREER,

YOU KNOW?

AND HE SAYS--

HE'S LIKE, "YEAH.

YOU KNOW, THERE WAS A POINT

IN OUR CAREER WHERE BEFORE

EVERY SHOW EACH ONE OF US WOULD

DO TWO SHOTS OF JEAGAR MEISTER.

I WAS LIKE...

WHAT?

THAT'S IT?

LIKE THAT IS YOUR DECENT

INTO DRUGS AND ALCOHOL?

DID YOU SEE--

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

DID YOU SEE THE "MOTLEY CREW"

"BEHIND THE MUSIC"?

THOSE DUDE INJECTED

PAINT THINNER INTO THEIR (BLEEP)

BEFORE THEY WENT ON STAGE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

THESE GUYS ARE WORRIED ABOUT

A COUPLE OF SHOTS OF

JEAGAR MEISTER?

WHAT?

YOU GOT YOUR ROCK STARS

OR LAMB DE KAI PLEDGES?

WHAT IS IT?

SO, ANYWAY...

AH, YEAH.

I'M A FREAK.

I'M A FREAK, YOU KNOW?

I WONDER WHY I'M SO BAD

WITH WOMEN.

I KNOW WHY.

BECAUSE I CAN'T TALK TO WOMEN.

I ALWAYS GET MY WORDS MIXED UP

TALKING TO WOMEN.

DOES THAT HAPPEN TO YOU GUYS?

LIKE I'LL HAVE TWO THINGS

IN MY HEAD THAT I'LL WANT TO SAY

TO A GIRL, LIKE, "SEE YOU

LATER."

TAKE IT EASY.

AND I'LL BE LIKE, "YEAH.

TAKE YOU LATER."

AH.

(LAUGHTER)

I'M TELLING YOU.

EVEN WHEN A GIRL IS INTERESTED

IN ME I BLOW IT.

LIKE, LAST YEAR--

I'LL NEVER FORGET THIS--

I WAS OUT SKIING IN COLORADO,

RIGHT?

I'M SKIING AND I'M HANGING OUT

IN THE SKI LODGE AFTER SKIING.

YOU KNOW?

AND IT'S HARD TO, LIKE,

BE COOL IN FRONT OF A GIRL

IN A SKI LODGE, GUYS.

LET ME JUST TELL YOU THIS.

'CAUSE WHAT HAPPENED WAS

I WAS STANDING THERE AND

SOME GIRL GIVES ME A SMILE FROM

ACROSS THE ROOM.

I'M LIKE, ALL RIGHT.

YOU KNOW?

AND SHE EVEN MOTIONS ME

TO COME OVER.

SO I FEEL REALLY COOL, RIGHT?

BUT THEN WHEN I MAKE I MOVE TO

GO AND TALK TO HER, I'M LIKE...

(LAUGHTER)

I'LL SEE YOU ON THE SLOPE.

(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)

DID YOU FOLKS HEAR ME?

A $290 TICKET, MAN.

MY CAR--

MY CAR ONLY COSTS $240.

(LAUGHTER)

THAT'S SCREWED UP, HUH?

THAT'S WHY I DECIDED TO START

MY OWN PLANET.

I CALL IT "PLANET CHARLIE".

YOU'RE ALL INVITED TO LIVE ON

"PLANET CHARLIE" 'CAUSE WE WON'T

HAVE THE PROBLEMS WE GOT HERE

ON "PLANET CHARLIE".

ON "PLANET CHARLIE", PARKING

TICKETS WILL BE DIRECTLY RELATED

TO HOW MUCH YOUR CAR IS WORTH.

RIGHT?

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

IF YOU DRIVE SOME BIG RICH

LEXUS---

PARK IN THE WRONG SPOT--

SCREW YOU.

$1 MILLION TICKET.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

IF YOU DRIVE A PIECE OF JUNK

LIKE MOST OF THE REST OF US,

THEY WOULD LEAVE PIZZA HUT

COUPONS...

(LAUGHTER)

NOW SOME OF YOU GUYS ARE LOOKING

AT ME LIKE YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

WELL, CAN, TOO.

RIGHT?

REMEMBER THAT PHRASE WHEN YOU

WERE A KID, "CAN, TOO"?

THAT WAS YOUR BIG "GO TO" PHRASE

BACK WHEN WE HAD IMAGINATION

AND WE BELIEVED WE CAN DO

ANYTHING.

YOUR PARENTS WILL TELL YOU

YOU CAN'T DO SOMETHING,

WHAT WOULD YOU TELL 'EM?

AUDIENCE>> CAN, TOO!

CHARLIE VIRACOLA>> "CAN, TOO".

RIGHT.

AND YOU BELIEVED IT, TOO.

DIDN'T YOU?

PLANET CHARLIE WILL BE A

"CAN, TOO" PLANET.

DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.

YOU CAN'T JUMP IN A FOUNTAIN

AND STEAL ENOUGH CHANGE TO BUY

A CAR.

AUDIENCE>> CAN, TOO!

CHARLIE VIRACOLA>> CAN, TOO!

TWO HUNDRED AND...

240 DOLLARS WORTH TO BE EXACT,

RIGHT?

YOU CAN'T CLIP YOUR TOE NAILS

WHILE YOU'RE WAITING IN LINE

AT THE BANK.

AUDIENCE>> CAN, TOO!

CHARLIE VIRACOLA>> CAN, TOO.

IT MIGHT SPEED THOSE PEOPLE UP

A LITTLE BIT, HUH?

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

I'M ITALIAN.

ARE THERE ANY OTHER ITALIAN'S

HERE TONIGHT?

(CHEERING)

RIGHT ON.

WE'RE AWFULLY POPULAR THANKS

TO THE SOPRANOS, AREN'T WE?

SINCE THAT SHOW'S BEEN ON,

PEOPLE HAVE BEEN A LOT NICER

TO ME, TOO.

I'LL TELL YOU THAT.

'CAUSE THEY'LL SEE WHAT WILL

HAPPEN.

BUT I'M NOT A TYPICAL ITALIAN.

I HAVE SOMEWHAT OF A SOUTHERN

ACCENT.

I LIVED IN NORTH CAROLINA

FOR A WHILE WHEN I WAS A KID.

MY PARENTS MOVED ME THERE WHEN

I WAS LITTLE.

THAT'S THE THING ABOUT

THE WITNESS RELOCATION PROGRAM.

(LAUGHTER)

YEP.

DAD DIDN'T GET TO PICK WHERE

WE ENDED UP.

I LOVE THE HOL

MY FAVORITE IS HALLOWEEN.

THAT'S A GREAT HOLIDAY.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

GET TO DRESS UP LIKE AN IDIOT

AND ACT LIKE A FOOL AND NOBODY

KNOWS WHO YOU ARE, RIGHT?

IT'S LIKE, "THAT WASN'T CHARLIE

THAT PEED IN THE PUNCH BOWL.

THAT WAS A PIRATE.

(LAUGHTER)

CHRISTMAS ALWAYS SUCKED WHEN

I WAS A KID 'CAUSE I BELIEVED IN

SANTA CLAUSE.

UNFORTUNATELY, SO DID MY

PARENTS.

(LAUGHTER)

THAT'S RIGHT.

I NEVER GOT ANYTHING.

JUST SIT AROUND WITH THOSE

DUMB ASSES WAITING ALL NIGHT.

(LAUGHTER)

IT'S A GOOD THING I DON'T

DO THIS FOR A LIVING TO, AH...

TO SUPPLEMENT MY INCOME I SELL

FURNITURE ON THE SIDE.

I'M DOWN TO MY COUCH NOW.

UM...

(LAUGHTER)

IF ANYBODY WOULD LIKE TO PICK

THAT BABY UP.

I JUST SIT ON IT AND WATCH TV.

I WAS WATCHING "DR. LAURA"

THE OTHER DAY.

I DON'T LIKE HER.

SHE CAN'T COME TO

"PLANET CHARLIE".

SHE SAID SHE THINKS PEOPLE

ARE HAVING SEX AT A YOUNGER

AND YOUNGER AGE.

I BELIEVE THAT'S TRUE.

A 17 YEAR OLD FRIEND OF

MY SISTERS LOST HER VIRGINITY.

I FELT LIKE I SHOULD TALK TO HER

ABOUT IT.

I WENT OVER TO HER AND I SAID

"LOOK.

FIRST OF ALL WHAT WE DID

WAS WRONG."

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

(CHEERS AND WHISTLES)

WELL, I WROTE THE DECLARATION OF

"PLANET CHARLIE" TODAY.

SO I'M GONNA READ YOU GUYS

THE ARTICLE'S AND THEN YOU'LL

ALL BE OFFICIAL CITIZENS OF

"PLANET CHARLIE".

"WE, THE PEOPLE OF

'PLANET CHARLIE',

HOLD THE FOLLOWING TRUTHS TO BE

SELF-EVIDENT."

I KIND OF BORROWED THAT FROM

ANOTHER DOCUMENT.

(LAUGHTER)

NUMBER ONE: IF YOU HIT THE

LOTTERY AND SAY YOU'RE STILL

GONNA KEEP YOUR DAY JOB,

YOU HAVE TO GIVE THE MONEY BACK

SO SOMEBODY COOL CAN WIN.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

"CAN, TOO."

RIGHT.

NUMBER TWO: POSTAL EMPLOYEES,

DMV WORKERS WILL BE PAID

BY THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE

THEY ACTUALLY HELP IN A DAY."

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

NUMBER THREE: IF YOU HAVE A DOG

THAT'S SMALLER THAN A CAT,

YOU HAVE TO PUT A RAINBOW

BUMPER STICKER ON YOUR CAR.

(CHEERS AND WHISTLES)

NUMBER FOUR: IF YOUR KID

IS A PAIN IN THE ASS IN PUBLIC

AND YOU REFUSE TO HIT THEM,

WE CAN HIT THEM.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST,

PEOPLE WHO TALK ON CELL PHONES

IN PUBLIC HAVE TO WEAR

A PHONE BOOTH ON THEIR HEAD

SO WE DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN

TO THEM.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

ALL RIGHT.

LET'S HEAR YA.

WHOO!

YEAH!

GO, HIPSTERS.

YES.

WOW.

I AM DOWN.

HOW ARE YA, FOLKS?

GOOD LORD.

IT'S BEEN A GOOD SUMMER.

I WENT ON VACATION.

COMEDY WAS ABLE TO DO WITHOUT ME

FOR A WEEK.

AND, AH...

I WENT ON A CRUISE TO ALASKA.

ANYONE HERE EVER BEEN ON A

CRUISE?

(CHEERING)

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE.

JUST WAIVE YOUR SWEAT PANTS.

REALLY.

I TELL YA.

CLASSY BUNCH OF PEOPLE ON THESE

CRUISE SHIPS.

READ NECK, HO!

I TELL YA.

IF WE'D BEEN HAULING ANYMORE

TRASH INTO THE OCEAN, WE WOULD

HAVE BOARDED BY GREENPEACE.

I TELL YA.

GOOD GOD.

(APPLAUSE)

DEAR GOD.

I TELL YA.

I WAS BY FAR THE YOUNGEST PERSON

ON BOARD THE BOAT.

AND THAT'S HARD FOR ME BECAUSE,

YOU KNOW, ONE OF THE WONDERFUL

THINGS ABOUT ME...

IS THAT I'VE NEVER LOST TOUCH

WITH THE KIDS.

YOU KNOW?

I--

KIDS-- YOUNG PEOPLE--

I LOVE YOUR FRESH RHYMES

I LOVE YOUR BAGGY TROUSERS.

I PARTICULARLY--

I LOVE YOUR TELEVISION.

I'M ADDICTED TO MTV.

PARTICULARLY THIS SHOW

"MTV CRIBES".

HAS ANYONE SEEN THIS?

YOU'VE SEEN THE "MTV CRIBS".

(APPLAUSE)

THEY HAD AN EPISODE WITH

TOMMY LEE ON IT.

SOME OF YOU MAY REMEMBER

TOMMY LEE FROM "MOTLEY CREW".

SOME OF YOU MAY PRETEND YOU HAVE

NEVER SEEN HIS HONEYMOON TAPE.

AND, AH...

I TELL YA...

TOMMY IS PROBABLY, YOU KNOW,

GETTING NEAR 40.

NOT A CRIME.

BUT I TELL YA, HE IS "STREET".

YOU SEE HIM ON THIS SHOW--

HE'S LIKE, "AH, YO, YO, YO.

MTV.

THIS IS OFF THE FRAME.

SHE CAME TO CHECK OUT MY CRIB.

YO, HERE'S THE LOUNGE.

THIS IS WHERE MY AND MY HOLMES

GET MY PARTY ON.

YO, YO.

THIS IS WHERE I MAKE MY LOVE AT.

AND I'M THINKING...

YOU KNOW, TOMMY, I'VE SEEN YOU

EJACULATE ON YOUR WIFE...

LET'S JUST BE OURSELVES.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

YOU KNOW?

TAKE OFF THE MASK.

REMOVE THE CLOAK.

(APPLAUSE)

LORDY.

GOOD GOD.

LUCKY GUY, THOUGH.

I TELL YA, HE'S GOT HIMSELF

A VERY NICE CRIB.

UM...

YOU KNOW, IF MTV CAME TO MY

PLACE, THEY WOULDN'T HAVE A LOT

TO WORK WITH.

YOU KNOW?

AH, YO, YO, YO.

MTV, AH...

THIS OFF THE FRAME.

YOU CAME TO CHECK OUT MY

STUDIO APARTMENT.

AND, AH..

OVER HERE IS THE BATHROOM.

THIS IS THE SINK.

THIS IS WHERE I SHAVE MY FACE

AT.

AND, AH...

OVER HERE IS THE KITCHEN--

KITCHENETTE.

A LITTLE HALF FRIDGE.

THIS IS WHERE I KEEP MY

COLLECTION OF ANTIQUE MILKS.

DEDICATE IT TO GOD.

YOU KNOW, THE REST OF THE

APARTMENT IS OVER HERE.

SEE THE FUTON ON THE FLOOR.

ONE WINDOW.

IT LOOKS OUT ON THE AIR SHAFT.

(LAUGHTER)

YEAH.

THIS IS WHERE I GET MY PANIC

ATTACKS ON.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

(LAUGHTER)

I'M SINGLE.

I HAD A THREE YEAR RELATIONSHIP

END.

YOU EVER HAVE SOMEBODY

JUST FREAK OUT ON YOU IN A

RELATIONSHIP?

THING ARE GOING GREAT AFTER

THREE YEARS.

SHE WANTS TO RUN OUT AND FIND

A GUY WHO DOESN'T HIT HER.

(LAUGHTER)

SEE?

IT'S NEW YORK.

YOU CAN DO THAT JOKE.

IF I DID THAT IN LOS ANGELES,

THEY ALL WOULD HAVE WALKED OUT

ON ME.

"DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS NOT FUNNY.

MY FRIEND WAS IN A BAD

RELATIONSHIP.

HER BOYFRIEND HIT HER."

UGH!

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

AND I HATE PEOPLE THAT GET

OFFENDED AT HUMOR.

AND EVERYBODY WORKS WITH

SOMEBODY LIKE THAT OR GOES

TO SCHOOL.

YOU KNOW THAT ONE PERSON--

THEY ALWAYS TRY TO GET

ATTENTION--

"I'M TAKING A STAND."

AND YOU JUST...

YOU KNOW THAT AGGRAVATING

PERSON...

ALWAYS WEARING GLASSES TWO SIZES

TOO SMALL FOR THEIR STUPID

FACES.

'CAUSE THEY THINK THEY LOOK

BRILLIANT.

NO MATTER WHAT YOU'RE TALKING

ABOUT THERE'S A PROBLEM.

"CATS AND DOGS."

"OH, MY GOD.

MY FRIEND WAS ATTACKED BY A

PIT BULL.

COULD YOU NOT GO THERE?

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

(CHEERS AND WHISTLES)

AND YOU KNOW WHAT WE TAKE

FOR GRANTED HERE?

THAT FACT THAT IN NEW YORK,

YOU COULD PRETTY MUCH DO

WHATEVER YOU WANT WHENEVER

YOU WANT IT.

YOU HAVE 24 HOUR ACCESSIBILITY

WHICH LIKE.

3 O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING

YOU CAN RUN OUT TO GET TRUCK

TIRES, FALAFEL AND A BAG OF

HEROIN.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

IN THE SAME STORE.

(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)

I WAS IN ASPEN COLORADO

WHERE YOU DO NOT HAVE THAT

ACCESSIBILITY.

AND IT'S AGGRAVATING.

BECAUSE THEY CLOSE--

THE ENTIRE CITY CLOSES AT

10 O'CLOCK 'CAUSE IT'S A

SKI TOWN.

THEY'RE ALL YUPPIE DOUCH BAGS.

THEY WANT TO GET UP EARLY,

GET ON THE SLOPES.

UGH!

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

(CHEERS AND WHISTLES)

FOR THE RECORD, I HATE SKIING.

AND IF YOU'RE KILLED DOING IT,

GOOD!

IT STINKS.

BUT IT CLOSES AT 10 O'CLOCK.

SO I'M THERE AND IT WAS AFTER

MIDNIGHT AND I WAS STARVING.

THERE'S NOTHING OPEN.

I'M LIKE "ALL RIGHT.

I'LL CALL AN ESCORT SERVICE."

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

AND I'LL ALL TELL YOU,

NEW YORK IS EXPENSIVE,

ASPEN IS DISGUSTING.

I'M ON THE PHONE WITH THE

SERVICE--

I'M LIKE "WELL, HOW MUCH IS IT

TO SEE SOMEBODY?"

AND THE WOMAN'S LIKE

"AH, $3,000.

I'M LIKE "YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?"

AND SHE'S LIKE "WELL, SHE'S

REALLY PRETTY."

"AH."

(LAUGHTER)

"DO I GET TO CUT HER HEAD OFF

AND KEEP IT WHEN I'M FINISHED?"

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

I WILL SAY, THE ONE THING

I DON'T MISS WHEN I LEAVE

HERE...

CAB DRIVERS.

THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIVE HERE

DON'T UNDERSTAND THE HATRED

WE HAVE FOR THESE PEOPLE.

AND I DON'T MIND--

YEAH, THEY'RE AWFUL.

(CHEERING)

I'M ACTUALLY WRITING A MOVIE.

IT'S ABOUT TWO CABBYS.

THEY HAVE A HEAD-ON COLLISION

AND THE EXPLOSION KILLS THEM

BOTH.

THE MOVE IS CALLED

"WOULDN'T LIFE BE GOOD IF THIS

HAPPENED EVER EIGHT SECONDS?"

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

HERE'S THE PROBLEM I HAVE.

LIKE, I LAUGH AT AWFUL THINGS.

I'M A NICE PERSON.

I HAVE AN AWFUL SENSE OF HUMOR.

AND I THINK THAT EVERYBODY IS

GUILTY OF THAT ONCE IN A WHILE.

LIKE, JUST LAUGHING AT

SOMETHING.

WHEN YOU'RE DONE YOU'RE LIKE,

"OH, GOD.

I NEED A SHOWER.

I MEAN, THAT WAS DISGUSTING."

ME AND MY BUDDY WERE IN

HOUSTON INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT.

WAITING GO GET ON A PLAN

WE SEE A VERY OLD LADY IN A

WHEEL CHAIR.

WHICH IS NOT A FUNNY THING.

SHE HAS NO LEGS.

WHICH IS KIND OF FUNNY.

(LAUGHTER)

AND I KNOW I CAN'T LOOK AT

MY FRIEND.

YOU EVER FEEL SOMEBODY NEXT

TO YOU SHAKING WITH LAUGHTER...

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

AND YOU KNOW IF YOU LOOK

YOU'RE A DEAD MAN?

BUT YOU HAVE TO LOOK.

IT'S LIKE A CAR ACCIDENT

OR A SADAMY VIDEO.

I MEAN, YOU JUST HAVE TO...

I LOOK AT MY FRIEND.

HE IS SHAKING A LAUGHING SO HARD

HE HAS DROOL COMING OUT

OF THE SIDE OF HIS MOUTH.

AND I'M LIKE, "OH, GOD.

PLEASE DON'T LET ME LAUGH.

PLEASE DON'T LET ME LAUGH."

I MEAN, HE HITS ME.

"DO YOU THINK SHE'S FLYING

STAND-BY?"

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

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