Ben Carson botches his entrance at the GOP debate, and Larry discusses Beyonce's politically charged halftime performance with Keke Palmer, Franchesca Ramsey and Robin Thede.
Thanks very much.
Welcome to The Nightly Show.
Uh, thank you very much.
-(whooping)-Thank you very much.
-AUDIENCE: Larry! Larry! Larry!Larry! -No, it's very kind.
-AUDIENCE: Larry! Larry! Larry!-No, what's great about that...
No, I appreciate that,
but I saw a couple people startto stand up.
-They were like, "Oh, (bleep),better stand up." -(laughter)
So, the "Larry, Larry,"I appreciate.
It was kind of a wayof making up...
Man, great show tonight.
Keke Palmer on the show tonight.
-Very excited about that.-(cheering and applause)
Um, I'm in a great mood, man.
I had so much fun watchinglast night's Super Bowl.
Um, not the game itself.That sucked.
Yeah, I was goingfor Denver, y'all, see?
-MAN: Yeah!-(audience booing) -I...
-What is that?-(laughter)
I was right.
But everything aroundthe Super Bowl was just awesome.
I mean, how about thatpuppy-monkey-baby?
I'm sorry, you guys.
-That thing is way too scaryto be selling soda. -(laughter)
I slept with a nightlighton last night.
Puppy-monkey-baby...Is that puppy-monkey...?
That thing was hauntingmy dreams.
That should not be a thing.I'm just saying.
Oh, that was so strange.I've never seen it.
The best ad for me, though, wasthe one with, uh, with the...
where Seal taught me thisabout the NFL.
♪ Nah-nah-nah, nah-nah,nah, nah, nah, nah ♪
♪ Mom and Dadlooked at each other ♪
♪ One thing led to another
-No, no, no.-(laughter)
I'm s... I'm sorry NFL.
I reject this premise.
Watching footballis not an aphrodisiac. It's not.
You want me to believethat for the ladies,
there's nothing hotterthan their man
in his sixth hour of watchingfootball,
gut hanging outof his undersized jersey,
Cheeto dust all over his mouth,and then what?
You both reachfor that last Bud Light Lime.
That's when the (bleep) starts,yeah.
All right, well, later, ourpanel's gonna be talking about,
uh, Beyoncé so-called"blackening up" the Super Bowl.
Did you hear about that? Yeah.
But first, we must lookat the people
trying to un-blackenthe White House.
-(laughter)-Very nice. I like that.
All right, the other big gamethis weekend
was the Republican politicaldebate in New Hampshire,
which, ironically, beganwith a false start.
MARTHA RADDATZ:Dr. Ben Carson.
(applause and cheering)
DAVID MUIR:Texas Senator Ted Cruz.
(applause and cheering)
RADDATZ:Businessman Donald Trump.
-Go! Go! Go!-(laughter)
-This was so sad, you guys.-AUDIENCE MEMBER: Oh, my God.
What's wrong?They called your name! Go!
So not only does black Droopythe dog screw up his entrance,
he stays therelike he's an usher.
(imitating Carson as Droopy):"Oh, hello, Mr. Trump.
"Could you just wait...?
"Oh, Mr. Rubio,you're at podium four.
Oh, Nice to see you again,Mr. Bush."
Oh, man, it's just crazy.
Very entertaining.Very entertaining.
So, apparently, the winnerof the night was Donald Trump.
Now how he keeps winning thesethings, guys-- I have no idea.
You know what it is?
I think people aren't evenlistening to Trump any more.
It's just...it's just blind support.
"Trump." (goofy groaning)
I mean, listento his support of torture.
I would bring backwaterboarding,
and I'd bring back a hell ofa lot worse than waterboarding.
Worse than waterboarding?What is he thinking?
Besides the Coldplayhalftime show
-without Beyoncé or Bruno Mars?-(laughter)
don't let anyone make youfeel bad for being so white.
You do you, fellas.
And Trump's defense of torturewas delivered mere seconds
after Cruz laid outthe very definition of torture.
Under the law,torture is excruciating pain
that is equivalent to losing...losing organs and systems.
So, Trump is literally calling
for the removalof organs while questioning.
Let me tell you.
Pulling out a man's intestinaltract isn't nearly as cute
as this Super Bowl admakes it seem.
They don't have faces, guys.
That's one of the thingsthey look for
in a colonoscopy, by the way.
Hey, man, if your intestinesstart growing a face,
you got some severemedical problems.
You got some issues.
But the biggest loser
of the night turned outto be Marco Rubio,
who had some strong wordsfor President Obama.
And let's just start onceand for all with this fiction
that Barack Obama doesn't knowwhat he's doing.
He knows exactlywhat he's doing.
And I thinksomebody knew exactly
what you were doing, Rubio.
You see, everybody,
I want the people at hometo think about this.
That's whatWashington, D.C. does.
The drive-by shotat the beginning
with incorrectand incomplete information,
and then the memorized25-second speech that is exactly
-what his advisers gave him.-(applause and cheering)
Christie's sayingyou're a robot, man,
and that you say the same thingevery time.
How you gonna respond?Come on, man.
Freestyle on him!
But I would add this.Let's dispel with this fiction
that Barack Obama doesn't knowwhat he's doing.
He knows exactlywhat he's doing.
That's your freestyle?The same thing?
All right, come on, man.I'll give you one more chance.
What's the bottom line?
Here's the bottom line.
This notionthat Barack Obama doesn't know
-what he's doingis just not true. -There it is.
-He knows exactlywhat he's doing. -There it is.
-The memorized 25-second speech.-He's... Well...
So you respondedto the accusation
of being too scriptedby being too scripted?
All right, I know you must havebeen really embarrassed, Rubio.
I get it. I get it, man.It's hot under the lights.
And he called you out.
Maybe he caught you off guard.
But now, okay,here is your chance
to set the record straight.
We are not facing a president
that doesn't knowwhat he's doing.
He knows what he is doing.
You got to be (bleep)kidding me.
He did it again!What's-what's wrong with you?!
Trump, if you're lookingfor torture,
make him listen to Marco Rubio.
Still, this debate, by the way--it was not the first time
that Rubio's campaignhas revealed itself
to be embarrassingly scripted.
Just take a lookat this Rubio ad
that is currently airingin New Hampshire.
It's time we got someone in theWhite House who represents me.
-Someone like Marco Rubio.-Marco Rubio.
-He's been here, and listened.-And listened.
Right here in New Hampshire.
All right. Yeah.
It seemed like innocent look
at the happy, honest folksof New Hampshire.
But on the other hand,it sounds a lot
like an adthat aired in Iowa last month.
It's time we got someone in theWhite House who represents me.
Someone like Marco Rubio.
-He's been here... and listened.-And listened.
Right here in Iowa.
That's right--a Marco Rubio campaign ad
is plagiarizing anotherMarco Rubio campaign ad!
He's stealing from himself!
Don't believe me?
Take a look at these adsside by side.
BOTH:He gets the new economy.
BOTH:He's got our values.
BOTH: And a plan for a newAmerican century.
So the zombie candidateis now recruiting
a whole army of zombies?!
I guessthat would explain this footage
from a Rubio campaign rallyin Manchester last week.
-(laughter) -That's actualfootage, you guys.
We don't make this (bleep) up.
So, the GOP has gottenso bizarre.
You know what they remind me of?
That's right.I said it.
You know it's true.
Jeb Bush is the hangdog puppy.
He was bred specificallyto be a president,
but instead,he just flops around helplessly.
Although, he has recentlystopped peeing all over himself.
So that's progress.
Rubio's the monkey--
mindlessly repeating whateverhis trainer tells him to.
-And Donald Trump's the baby.-(laughter)
Yelling and whining
and keeping everyone from havingan adult conversation.
(laughter and applause)
Trump is like a baby.
Plus, his hands arethe same size as that baby's.
That's right,Donald Trump has baby hands.
Google it.We'll be right back.
Hi, I'm Franchesca Ramseykeeping black history 100
for The Nightly Show.
You may know Madame C.J. Walkerwas the first
black female millionairein the U.S.,
but did you also know shepetitioned
President Woodrow Wilson
to make lynchinga federal crime?
Wait. That (bleep)wasn't illegal before?
Great.Happy Black History Month.
Welcome back.As you may know,
we're in the middleof Black History Month,
a 29-day marathonof forcing, uh,
weird black "fun facts"onto people's televisions.
Uh, which brings meto a question
that seems to get askedevery February.
Is Black History Montha positive thing
or just some (bleep)?All right.
So we need to debate this.And since we're on cable,
the only way is to have peopletake polar-opposite positions
and argue over each other.So without further ado,
here's another installmentof Pardon the Integration.
-Grandmother? Where are youfrom? -A black guy? A white guy?
-Racial thing? -Yeah, alwayswith you people, always!
-My people had nothing to dowith that! -(bell dings)
All right, please welcome Nightly Show contributors
Mike Yard and Rory Albanese.
Okay, tonight's topic:
should there even bea Black History Month
or does it just widen the gapbetween races in this country?
Mike will takethe pro-Black History Month side
and Rory will be against it.Ready?
I've been waiting for this...
I been waiting to do thisfor years.
Why do I always have to startout as the dick when we do this?
-I don't... Can't I just be a...-And begin.
Look, black historyis undertaught
and undervalued, okay?
MLK Day is not enoughto honor the black struggle.
We need to teachstudent citizens
in our white-centric schools
about the many accomplishmentsof African Americans.
Mike, what we need is to teachthe horrors of segregation
and stop segregating historyinto black and white.
When the NBA put outits top 50 players of all time,
okay, they didn't break it intothe top 50 black players
and the top 50 white players.
That's because there haven'tbeen 50 white players
in the history of the NBAwho are even good.
Really, Mike? Okay.
Larry Bird.John Stockton.
That Slavic guy,the tall guy with the hair.
-That's what I thought.-(bleep).
That's what I thought.Look, state boards of education
have beenwhitewashing history textbooks
with crazy euphemismsfor slavery
like "the Atlantictriangular trade".
Triangles didn'trow them damn ships. Okay?
Black people deserveto have their history told.
Okay, that's true.But it's so depressing.
-All right?-Oh, I wonder why.
If I want to see how horriblyblack people have been treated
I'll watch the news or Precious.
Here we go.
-See?-It's why that's there.
It's the same stuff.But what about
all the black contributions toAmerica that are inspiring, sir?
George Washington Carvercame up with
a hundred uses for the peanut.
Mike, it's 2016-- everyone'sallergic to peanuts now.
-That's a cop out.-No one cares. -(bell dings)
Okay, gentlemen, all right,that noise means
it's time to switch sides andargue the opposite perspective.
Because remember,this is a mindless argument.
Now Rory will be in favor
of Black History Month
and Mike, you will now beagainst Black History Month.
-I'm so excited about this.-Yeah, it's fun.
That is... this is notsomething that I want to do.
Okay? The last timeyou guys call me a sellout...
Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike,stop it, stop it, man.
That would never happen.This is
-a professional argument.-Won't happen. -You did it.
It's a professional argument.And go.
All right, um, I guess,uh, Black History Month
is an insult to people of color,I mean, by implying
that our historyis only worth acknowledging
only one month out of the year.
Classic Mike Yard, here we go.(chuckles)
Why don't you and Stacey Dashgo start the hashtag...
-(audience exclaims) -Yeah,that's right. Oh, I said it.
-Wow!-Why don't you guys start
-#OscarsNotWhiteEnough, Mike,how about that, huh? -Wow.
-Wow. See... -Black HistoryMonth is essential
because if you can'tunderstand the past,
how can younavigate the present?
I really... I can't believeyou just Stacey Dashed me,
-but it-it's cool, it's cool.-I did. I did.
-Well deserved. -You know what,but your black history, sir
isn't always accurate, okay?Rosa Parks
wasn't supposed to be the firstblack woman to get arrested
for refusing to sitin the back of the bus,
that was Claudette Colvin.
Ooh, gee, Mike,how brave of you, you know?
Way to take downthat attention whore Rosa Parks.
-Wha... -Yeah.-(bleep) up, man.
-I know. -Do that...I didn't even do that.
I mean, seriously, Mike,what the (bleep)?
-Thank you, Larry. Thank you,Larry. -What are you...
What are you talking about? See,this is what I was afraid of.
-Why would you do that? -I knewyou guys would turn on me.
-You're picking on Rosa Parks.-Mike, we're not turning on you.
-What do you call it?-No, we're just
-saying Black History Monthis great... -Yes.
...because black peopleare great. Am I right?
-Huh, am I right? -When did I...-(cheering, applause)
-When did I say black his...-I can't hear you!
-Oh, that's wack.-Wow, Rory,
-that is really good point.-Thanks, Larry.
-Thank you, Larry.-I don't know why...
-I don't know why Mike's got tobe that hateful. -I don't know.
-And the winner is Rory.-Yes!
Because no one (bleep)on Rosa Parks on my show
-and gets away with it.-Wack. -She is...
-Wow. -She's the best.-She really is.
-She's the best. -I know. Ihave no idea what just happened,
but I know I didn't do it.I didn't do any of that.
Yes, you did. This has beenanother pointless episode
of Pardon the Integration.Mike Yard
and Rory Albanese, everybody!We'll be right back.
-Terrible. -♪ -(cheering, applause)
Welcome back.I'm here with my panel.
First up, Nightly Show contributor Robin Thede.
And Nightly Show contributorFranchesca Ramsey.
And she just appeared in Fox'slive production of Grease
and stars in Scream Queens, also on Fox, Keke Palmer.
And for everyone at home,join our conversation right now
on Twitter @NightlyShowusing #Tonightly.
All right, so the Super Bowlwas yesterday
and I wanted to talk about, uh,Beyoncé's song, uh, "Formation"
-at the halftime show.-Yes. -Yes.
I thought it wasa great performance,
but social mediawent crazy, you guys.
I mean, a lot of people lovedit, of course. She's the queen.
But some people thoughtit wasn't appropriate
for it's, uh, political message.
Oh, it's ridiculous,of course it was appropriate.
She's saying"I got hot sauce in my purse".
She didn't pull a titty out.
-And that's a part of... -What is the problem?
-And that's herartistic expression. -Yeah.
If she didn't put herself intothe record on top of the things
that she wanted to bringattraction to,
-it wouldn't seem authentic.-I did kind of feel bad
-that she upstaged Chris what's-his-name... -Chris Martin.
-from-from...-PALMER: Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh.
-from, from, uh, Childsplay?-WILMORE: Coldplay.
-That's not what I'm...-That's right, it's Coldplay.
-Stop it, you know who they are.-Yeah, I-I felt bad for him.
Taraji...Taraji P. Henson tweeted
"Maroon 5 is killing it,giving me life."
I loved that, it was so cute.
Yeah, she called 'em Maroon 5.
But it is... it is morepolitical than Beyoncé has been.
-Oh, yeah.-You know, this, uh...
Do we have clips from the video?
Let's show clips from thatvideo. I just want to show...
BEYONCÉ:♪ I slay, okay, ladies
♪ Now let's get in formation
♪ I slay
-Oh, play it! Let it ride! -Comeon, she cannot stop! -I know.
-She said, "I slay, honey".-So some people said,
you know, she was dressedlike Black Panthers,
you know, and all this.
Is-is she... Do you thinkthis was an intentional
political messageduring the Super Bowl or...
Well, I think it wasa political message in general.
I think that, um, you know,and I think that's why the song
was so interesting,because it's trying
to find a wayto talk about the issue,
-but also do itin your artistic way. -Mm-hmm.
You know what I'm saying?As an entertainer, I feel
like people always want youto talk about what's happening,
what's happening,but you have to do it in the way
-that's natural to you. And Ifeel like she found a way -Yeah.
to do it, with the video, withthe symbols, down to the words.
If you actually.... Like,she found some guys to give you
-the trap bounce, but the lyricsare like, -Yeah. -Right.
"Listen, to what I'm saying,"so the kids could feel it.
I think she did a good jobof making the song really fun,
like you could dance to itin the club, but if you look
at the message in the video...'Cause we live in a very, like,
GIF culture.So you can listen... you can...
you can watch itwithout any audio and understand
that she's making a messageabout black lives matter.
-In her way. In her way. She hasto make it -In her own way.
-her way. Yeah. -That's right.Exactly. That's exactly her way.
Beyoncé is the masterof giving you the visual imagery
-but also the lyrical ratchetrythat you need. -Yeah. -Yeah.
-Right. -Combine to the perfectsong. -Michael was great
at that, too. ♪ They don'treally care about us ♪
♪ Beat me, hate me,you can never break me ♪
-Well, now, but I will say...-That was when Michael was good.
"They Don't Really Care AboutUs" and, like, Marvin Gaye's
"What's Going On," those lyricswere a little more heavy
-and, like, politically social.-Michael got mad at everything.
-♪ Wanna be startin' somethin' -Yeah!
-♪ I'm bad What are you...-♪ Then don't have a baby
♪ Yeah, if you can't feedyour baby ♪
I'm like, "Yo,Michael was letting you know
-you can't afford your kids."-Okay, but, guys... but is...
but is... but is Beyoncé,
is she becoming an activistthough?
I mean, 'cause I'm confused.
'Cause the lyricsto that video...
-Okay... -I don't think it'sso much, "I'm an activist now."
I think it's, "Now I wantto say... now I have to...
-now I feel the need to saysomething in this way." -Mm-hmm.
-Yeah, and I think you have tobe really careful... -Or is she
-just accessorizing... -No,not access... -Mm. Okay, wait,
-I-I think you needto be careful, because... -Whoa.
-Wait a minute! -#BeyHive.-you don't... y-you don't want
-to step into that Keri Hilsonterritory. -Right. Uh-huh.
And if you don't know whoI'm talking about, then I proved
-my point. Because you step outof line... -Oh, my God!
You should explainto the audience what that is.
We don't talk about Keri anymorebecause she said
something negative about...I'm just saying
-you want to be careful because-She's BeyHive all day.
-the BeyHive will come for you.-Beyoncé doesn't care about me!
That's not true. Beyoncé caresabout all of us, Larry.
Didn't you watch the video?!
-I know Beyoncé cares about me.Okay? -Beyoncé cares about me!
#BlackGirlMagic all up in here,Larry. Um, no, but-but...
Is there an expectationfor somebody as huge
and as influential as Beyoncéto be political active or...
-'Cause people just kind ofaccept her for whatever. -Right.
I think that sometimes peoplecan feel that it should be,
but, I mean, that brings upthe whole thing, you know,
the difference between somebodylike a Michael Jordan
-and a Muhammad Ali. -Well,Michael Jordan got criticized
-for not being political.And he said, -Wow.
"Well, Republicans buytennis shoes. Why should I...
-why should I divide people?"You know? -Yeah, I think
-you have to be careful.-I mean, it's... I think
it's your choiceas an individual person,
-whether you're celebrity ornot. Now, I think... -You think
she's feeling pressure rightnow? Do you think that's why
she put this out? Or is... or isthis her way of just growing?
I think personally. I thinkpersonally. It felt like this
was very personal for her,because, at the same time,
she's saying, you know, um,in-in the song, she's like,
-"I slay. Like, let the haters,you know, hate." -Right. Right.
Like, she's like, "I like myNegro with Jackson 5 nostrils,"
which, you know, it's like she'sletting you know some things.
-But it's... she's not sayingin her... -She's saying she has
-Jackson 5 nostrils? -No,she's saying her Negro does.
-She's saying that Jay Z does.Um... -Oh. All right. Okay.
-Stop. -But...And that's how she like 'em.
Um, but she's not... she's...she didn't go far enough
-to say... -Are his nostrilsmore Tito or Jermaine? -Stop!
-If you mention... -Ijust want to know. -More Tito.
More Tito? That'swhat I was gonna say, yeah.
They're a little bit Jackiewhen you think about it.
That's true. That's true.But I think the difference is...
-Hers used to be a littleMarlon. -That's... -Stop it!
I'm just telling the truth!What am I saying?
-We'll do a graph of it later.Yeah. -Yes, exactly.
No, I think the really importantthing is that her lyrics
were not so heavy. Although yousaw images of "Don't shoot us,"
and people were sayingthat was anti-cop, her lyrics
weren't saying that.They were still saying,
"I got hot sauce in my purse."Like, she... So she balanced it.
I don't think Beyoncé's saying,"I'm sitting here,
knowing every single littledetail." What she's saying is,
"I know what's going on,I see what's going on. -Right.
"Here, I'm gonna use my platformto bring more attention to it
and you dissect it and you takeaway and you do your research."
...also, as an audience,it's our responsibility to do
-the work after. Like, if acelebrity opens your eyes -Yes.
to an issue, I don't thinkthat you should be making a vote
just because somebody saidyou should vote for this person
-or you should careabout this issue. -Right.
-Then you need to go do yourhomework and actually... -Oh.
Well, whoever Beyoncé tells meto vote for, I'm voting for.
There you go.We'll be right back.
(cheering and applause)
MAN: If you live in the New York City area or are planning
to visit, grab free tickets to The Nightly Show.
Thanks to my panelists,Robin Thede, Franchesca Ramsey,
and Keke Palmer. We're almostout of time, but before we go,
I'm gonna keep it 100.All right, tonight's question
-is from @ventivents. All right.-Mmm.
They ask,"To prevent a Trump presidency,
"you must hire Megyn Kellyon The Nightly Show.
Can't rebut her views on air.Hired?"
Um... let me make this clearto everyone watching.
I will do anythingto prevent a Trump presidency.
Megyn Kelly, are you kidding me?She can come in here
and say anything she wantsif that's what the thing is.
Of course I'll keep it 100.You guys got to challenge me!
Thanks for watching.Don't forget to ask me
your Keep It 100 questionson Twitter!
Good night, everyone!I kept it 100!
(cheering and applause)
MAN: Ooh, sorry.