Feather in the Storm

  • Season 1, Ep 7
  • 06/28/1999

Jerri finds her calling on the debate team, but can she make it through the dangerous physical training for the big competition?

MRS. ARBUCKLEIS SERVING EPANADAS !

WHY'D YOU SKIPTHE MERINGUE, TAMMI ?

YOU LOVE THE YELLOWAND GREEN FLAVOR.

MY MOM'S AFRAIDOF ME GETTING PREGNANT.

SO SHE WANTS ME TOLOSE 15 POUNDS

SO I'LL STOPMAKING EGGS.

BUT YOU'RESO SKINNY !

AHH, TELL THATTO MY OVARIES.

I'D LOVE TO.

HEY TAMMI, I SAW YOU IN YOURHURDLING TIGHTS THE OTHER DAY,

YOUR HIP BONES WERE STICKING OUTLIKE A COUPLE OF ELBOWS.

NICELY DONE.

YOU OUGHT TO THINK ABOUTCOMING OUT FOR THE DEBATE TEAM.

OH, I DON'T KNOW,I'M NOT SO GOODAT ARGUING.

YES, YOU ARE.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

I'M GOING OUTFOR DEBATE, TAM.

WHAT ARE YOUGONNA ARGUE, JERRI ?

WHAT YOU'REGONNA EAT NEXT ?

HMM, NO RETORT.

INTERESTING.

♪ EVEN THOUGHSHE'S SO VERY HUNGRY ♪

♪ SHE EATSJUST LIKE A BIRD ♪

♪ BY A BIRD, I MEANONE OF THE SMALL ONES ♪

♪ NOT LIKE A PELICANWHO EATS A LOT... ♪

( music continues distorted )I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT'STHE NUMBER ONE SONG !

I KINDA LIKE IT.

YEAH, WELLYOU'RE A PUSSY.

OK, WELCOME EVERYBODYTO THIS YEAR'S DEBATE TRYOUTS

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER I'D LIKETO START ALPHABETICALLY.

LIZZIE ABRAMS,YOU'LL DEBATE JERRI BLANK.

YOUR TOPIC IS:

"INCEST IS WRONG."

OK, LIZZIE,YOU'LL BE STATEMENT,

JERRI, YOU'LL BE REBUTTAL...

GOOD LUCK, AND DEBATE !

GOOD LUCK, BLOATUS.

BACK AT YA, SHAMU.

FROM THE DAWN OF TIME,AND IN EVERY SOCIETY

ALL MANKIND BOWS BEFORETHE SIMPLE TRUTH

THAT SEX WITHANOTHER FAMILY MEMBER

IS A SHORT PATH TO CHAOSAND GENETIC MUTATION.

THANK YOU.

GOOD.

JERRI, RIP THAT ARGUMENTA NEW ASS !

OKAY...

GRANTED...

SOMETIMES, OCCASIONALLY...THINGS CAN GET OUT OF HAND...

ALRIGHT, SO... UHHH.

THANK YOU...

( everyone muttering )

( voice echoing )JERRI... HELLO !

C'MON... JERRI !

JERRI.

JERRI !

JERRI, YOU PASSED OUT.

I JUST CALLED YOUR FAMILYAND YOUR MEAT MAN.

THEY SHOULD BE HEREANY MINUTE.

WE CAME AS SOON ASWE FELT LIKE IT.

HI, PLEASE, THANK YOU.

COME IN.

EVERYBODY COME INAND JUST SIT DOWN.

PLEASE, HAVE A SEAT.

THIS FAMILY NEEDS TO OPEN UP,AND START COMMUNICATING.

ALL RIGHT.

WHO STARTS ?

WHY DON'T YOU.

WHAT DO YOUWANT ME TO SAY ?

TELL JERRI THATYOU LOVE HER.

MAYBE SOMEONE ELSESHOULD START.

I'LL GO.

OK, DERRICK.

JERRI'S PROBLEMS ARETEARING THIS FAMILY APART !

GOOD, BUT SEE IFYOU CAN RE-STATE THAT

IN A MOREPOSITIVE WAY.

OUR FAMILY IS BEING TORN APARTBY JERRI'S PROBLEMS.

EXCELLENT.

Y'KNOW, WE HAVEN'THEARD FROM DAD IN A WHILE.

DAD ?

HANG ON A SECOND, GUY.

BEFORE YOU SPEAK,I GOT A QUESTION:

WHY ARE WE HERE ?

SO YOU CAN LEARN TOCOMMUNICATE BETTER

AS A FAMILYAND A MEAT MAN.

ARE YOU SUGGESTINGTHIS IS MY FAULT ?

NO, NO ,NO , NO STEW,DON'T EVEN THINK IT !

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK !

EVERYBODY FREEZE !

LOOK WHERE JERRI ISRIGHT NOW.

NO, DON'T LOOK.

PRETEND TO READ A MAGAZINEAND THEN SNEAK A PEEK.

JERRI ?

CAN YOU TELL THATWE'RE LOOKING AT YOU ?

NO, IT LOOKS LIKEYOU'RE READING.

IT WORKED !

I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT,BUT I HAVE GREAT NEWS !

I MADE THE DEBATE TEAM ?

NO, I'M SORRYI SHOULD REPHRASE THAT.

I HAVE GREAT NEWSFOR ME !

YOU DIDN'T MAKETHE DEBATE TEAM.

NICELY DONE.

I NEVER GET ANYTHINGTHAT I WANT !

TELL US JERRI,WHAT IS IT YOU WANT ?

WELL, MY WHOLE LIFE ALL I EVERWANTED WAS SOME ATTENTION.

I MEAN, THAT'STHE WHOLE REASON

I WANTED TO MAKETHE STUPID DEBATE TEAM.

GO ON JERRI,WE'RE ALL LISTENING.

WELL I...

WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU ALL ARE LISTENING.

WHY, I DON'T HAVE TOMAKE THE DEBATE TEAM.

ALL I HAVE TO DO IS STARVEMYSELF TO THE BRINK OF DEATH

TO GET YOUR ATTENTION.

AH, HA, HA, HA, HA !

FANTASTIC !

WHAT A SUCCESS FOR ME.

I SURE WISHSUKI WAS HERE.

MR. NOBLET...

CAN I TALK TO YOU...

UUH, CAN I HAVEA SHRIMP TEMPURA !?

NO, JERRI,WHAT IS IT ?

WELL I WANTED--

JERRI, MAKE THIS QUICK,I'M FRYING THINGS, OK ?

I'D WANTED TO SIGN UPFOR THE DEBATE TRYOUTS.

YOU THINK THAT'S SUCHA GOOD IDEA, JERRI ?

I DON'T KNOW, I THINK IT'S AGOOD WAY TO GET ATTENTION AND--

CAN I HAVE AJALAPENO POPPER ?

NO !

LOOK, YOU DON'T EXACTLYHAVE WHAT I'D CALLA "DEBATER'S BODY".

SLIM ARGUMENTSCOME FROM...

SLIM HIPS.

HOW 'BOUTA CRAB PATTY ?

JERRI, ARE YOU EVENLISTENING TO ME ?

LOOK, DEBATING IS MORETHEN JUST MENTAL AGILITY.

95% PERCENT OF DEBATINGIS PHYSICAL APPEARANCE.

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAY,BUT HOW YOU LOOK SAYING IT.

NOW YOU'RE WELCOMETO TRYOUT FOR THE TEAM,

BUT I GOT TO TELL YOU,AT THIS WEIGHT

YOUR ARGUMENTS ARE GONNACOME OFF A LITTLE... PUFFY.

I DON'T HAVE APROBLEM WITH MY WEIGHT.

NO, JERRI, I HAVEA PROBLEM WITHYOUR WEIGHT.

YOU UNDERSTAND ?

I UNDERSTAND.

HOW 'BOUT SOMECLAM STRIPS ?

PUT IT DOWN !

PUT DOWN THECLAM STRIPS, JERRI !

NOW !

AND BACK AWAYFROM THE "FRY PAPA".

WELL, YOU EAT A LOT !

JERRI, I HAVE THEMETABOLISM OFA HUMMINGBIRD.

FOR INSTANCE,LAST NIGHT I ATE

HALF OF A STRAWBERRYCHEESECAKE AT 3:00 A.M.

AND I'LL NEVERGAIN AN OUNCE.

UNDERSTAND ?

GREAT !

MY ONION RINGSARE BURNED !

SORRY.

SORRY IS NOT GOINGTO MAKE THATGOLDEN BROWN, OK.

I'LL NEVER GETTHIS ONE BACK.

YOU CAN'T UN-FRYTHINGS JERRI.

YOU CAN'T BESOMETHING YOU'RE NOT.

HMMM... THE SHRIMPARE STILL GOOD.