Dangle's Murder Mystery Pt. 2

  • Season 6, Ep 5
  • 04/29/2009

Who murdered Debbie Dangle, and how does her death tie into the deputies' sordid past?

HOW YOU DOING,BERNARDINO?

NOW, SOME FOLKS DOWNAT THE PIGGLY WIGGLY

IN THE PRODUCE SECTION,REAL UPSET--BEEN THERE.

YOU'VE BEEN THERE?YEAH.

THEY'RE UPSET.

YOU'VE BEEN THERE?

DID YOU SEE ANYTHING WHILEYOU WERE DOWN THERE?

I HAVEN'T BEEN THERE FOR...

70 YEARS?

70 YEARS?OH.

YEAH. I MEAN, I HAVEN'TBEEN THERE FOR--

I MEAN, I WAS THERE70 YEARS AGO, I GUESS.

YOU WERE THEREAT THE PIGGLY WIGGLY70 YEARS AGO?

YEAH. SO IT'S BEENA WHILE.

YEAH, THAT'SA LONG TIME.

4:20 THIS AFTERNOON.THINK HARD.PRODUCE SECTION.

AREA WITH FRUITSAND VEGETABLES.

A GENTLEMAN, CAUCASIAN,ABOUT 5'10",ROLLER SKATES,

WHICH MADE USTHINK...

MAYBE IT'S TERRY.

MAYBE TERRYWOULD KNOW THIS GUY.

MAYBE THE PERSON THAT WORKSTHERE IS STUPID AND UGLY.

SEE, IT SEEMS, AGAIN,TO ME LIKE YOU MIGHTKNOW THIS PERSON

IN THE PRODUCESECTION.

I FEEL LIKE IT'SCOMING BACK.

I DON'T KNOW ANYFAT WOMEN WITH RED HAIRIN THE PRODUCE SECTION.

ALL RIGHT.SO THIS IS STARTINGTO FALL INTO PLACE.

OUR WITNESS--

KELLY O'BRIEN--

SHE SOUNDSLIKE A BITCH.

SHE WAS A LITTLE THICK,AND SHE WASN'T SUPER NICE.

SHE WASN'TSUPER NICE.

THAT'S TRUE, BUT MAYBE YOUGOT OFF ON THE WRONG FOOT

BECAUSE WHAT WERE YOU DOINGIN THE PRODUCE SECTION?

I WAS...TRYING FRUIT ON.

MM-HMM. THAT'SEXACTLY WHAT WE GOT.

THAT'S EXACTLYWHAT SHE SAID.

OH, [BLEEP]. GOD!

YOU SEE?

LET HIM GO. LET HIM GO.

I DIDN'T THINKYOU COULD SKATE ON GRASS.LOOK AT THAT...

I DIDN'T THINKSO, EITHER.

THIS IS GOODTO KNOW.

HEY.

ARE YOUARRESTING HIM?

YES, I AM. HE'S--

THAT'S AWESOME.

JUST STAYBACK, SIR.OK. I'LL STAY BACK.

I WANT TO BE YOUSOMEDAY WHEN I PASSTHE TEST TO BE A COP.

YOU WANT TO SEE MY GUN?I GOT A GUN.

WHOA, WHOA!WHOA, HEY!

OH, HA HA. WHOA.

YOU GOT A PERMITFOR THAT THING?

YEAH, OF COURSEI GOT A PERMIT.

SWEET!YEAH.

THIS IS NICE.YEAH.

UH-OH.

UH-OH. MY GUN'SBIGGER THAN YOURS.

YOURS IS BIGGERTHAN MINE. HA HA!

WHOA.

SO YOU WANT TO BEA COP, HUH?

YEAH.

OK. IT AIN'T AS EASYAS YOU MIGHT THINK.

I WANT TO BE--MY DADWANTED TO BE ONE,BUT HE WAS IN JAIL,

SO HE COULDN'T BE,AND I'M ON FLUOXETINE.

IT'S LIKE PROZACBUT FOR POOR PEOPLE.

LOOK, IF YOU EVER TRY TOGET ON THE FORCE--YEAH?

YOU DON'T WANTTO MENTION ANYMENTAL DISABILITIES.

OH.

EVERYONE'S GOT A LITTLEBIT OF [BLEEP]-UP, OK?

YEAH.

YEAH. IT'S A FINELINE, YOU KNOW?YEAH.

BUT AS LONG AS YOUKNOW HOW TO NAVIGATEIT, WHICH I DO,

DON'T BRING IT UP.

OH, OK.

OK, THANKS.

ALL RIGHT.

OK, DIRTBAG, TIMETO GO TO JAIL.

YEAH, TIMETO GO TO JAIL.

HA HA! DIRTBAG.

Man: HEY, DO YOU WANT METO TAKE HIM TO JAIL?

I GOT A BADGE. I FOUNDIT IN A COP CAR.

MY NAME ISJAMES DANGLE.

YOU'RE UNDER ARREST.GET IN THE BACKOF THE CAR.

HA HA HA! AWESOME!I'LL READ MYSELFMY RIGHTS.

YEAH, READ YOURSELFYOUR RIGHTS.

I HAVE THE RIGHTTO REMAIN SILENT.

I'D SAY IT'S A--A STING OPERATION.

BIG PROBLEMIN THE RUSSIANCOMMUNITY.

THEY HAVE THESESEX LINES WITHUNDERAGE GIRLS.

TOTALLY ILLEGAL.

WE'RE TRYING TOTRACE THIS GUY.

THEY'RE THE VICTIMS.THEY'RE THE VICTIMS.

[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]

HE WANTS TO...

OH, OK.THAT'S...

DA!

[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]

DA! DA! DA! DA! OH!

[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]

OK. OK, WAIT.WE'RE GONNA MAKE HIMGO TOO EARLY.

WE'RE GONNA BLOWHIM TOO EARLY.

I THINK MAYBEYOU BETTERTELL THIS BOY

THAT YOU'RE A LITTLETINY UNDERAGENAUGHTY SCHOOLGIRL.

YES.Rizzo: YEAH. THAT'SA GOOD POINT.

WE COULD NAIL HIMON THIS.

Jones: THAT'S RIGHT.AND MAYBE--TELL HIM

THAT 5 1/2 INCHESIS PLENTY BIG.

[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]

Declan: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

UH...UH...

WORKING ON THATUNDERAGE PHONESEX STING, SARGE.

PHONE SEX STINGOPERATION.ALL OVER IT.

Declan: THAT'S FEDERAL.THAT'S FCC.

OH. OHH. OH...

WHICH IS WHYWE'RE ALL OVER IT.

OH!

[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]

IT'S A REALSLOW DAY HERE.

[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]

TELL THE GUY,LIKE, YOU'VE BEENA BAD GIRL,

GIVE YOU A SPANKING.

YOU USE YOUR CREDIT CARDTO PURCHASE PORNOGRAPHYON THE INTERNET.

OR FOR ADULT-THEMEDBOARD GAMESOR NOVELTY ITEMS.

AND THEN YOU'REGETTING CREDIT CARD BILLS

FOR MOTOR BOATSAND FANCY TRIPSTO PARIS, FRANCE.

WHAT HAPPENED?

YOU ARE A VICTIMOF IDENTITY THEFT.

THAT'S WHY I ALWAYS USE...

[MACHINE CLANKS]

A SECURE I.D.--

THE MASTER BAIT CHARGE CARD--

THE CARD THAT'S ONLYFOR PORNOGRAPHY.

NO MORE FANCY TRIPSOR BOATS ON ME.

THANK YOU,MASTER BAIT CARD.

THE MASTER BAIT--CHARGE CARD, THAT IS.

PROTECT YOUR GOOD NAME

WITH A MASTER BAITPORNO-ONLY

PERSONAL CREDIT CARDFOR HIM OR HER.

Dangle: THE AUTHORITIESARE ON THEIR WAY.

Raineesha: HEY, WE'RETHE AUTHORITIES.

I KNOW. WELL,THE PARAMEDICS AREON THEIR WAY

IS WHAT I'M--PARAMEDICSARE ON THEIR WAY.

I SHOULD HAVE CLARIFIED.

IT SEEMS AS THOUGH...

OUR MURDER MYSTERY DINNER...

HAS BECOME

A "MURDER" MYSTERY DINNER.

THE ONLY THING WE KNOWFOR CERTAIN IS

THAT SOMEONE IN THIS ROOMWANTED DEBBIE DANGLE DEAD,

SO MUCH SO TO COMMITSUCH A HEINOUS CRIME.

TAKES ME BACK A LITTLE WAYS.

TAKES ME BACKTO CABO SAN LUCAS.

OH!OH!OH!

Dangle: LESLIE, I BELIEVEWE HAD HAD 4 MIND ERASERS

AT SAMMY HAGAR'SPARTY JOINT,

CABO WABO, WHEN YOU SAIDTO ME, AND I QUOTE, "BOY,

OH, BOY, IT WOULD BE SOSUPER IF DEBBIE WERE DEAD."

OH!OH!OH!

Leslie: I SAID THAT SEVERALTIMES, BUT I WAS KIDDING.

WE LAUGHED.

WHAT ABOUT GARY?

OH!OH!OH!

[THUNDER]

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