Daddy Issues

  • 11/27/2012

Steve's quest to uncover the mystery behind goat attacks yields a shocking discovery about his dad.

- HOW AM I EVER GONNAFIND THIS COUGAR?

- FOLLOW THE DEAD GOATS.

- GOOD IDEA,VOICE IN MY HEAD.

YOU SOUND SO MUCH COOLERTHAN WHEN I TALK OUT LOUD.

- IT'S ME, DUMBASS.

YOU PICKED THE WRONG TIMETO START ACTING LIKE A MAN.

THAT COUGAR'S GONNAEAT YOU ALIVE, STEVE.

- THANKS FOR THE TOUGH LOVE.NAMASTE.

- "NAMASTE."NAH, I'MA STAY RIGHT HERE

WHERE THERE AIN'T NO COUGARS.

[goat bleats]

- YOUR SUFFERING IS OVER.

MERCY IS UPON YOU.

[goat bleats]

UH, SORRY ABOUT THAT.

NOW, MERCY WILL BE UPON YOU.

[goat bleats]

ALMOST DONE.

YOU'LL BE WITH JESUS SOON.

[grunting]DIE!

[goat bleats loudly]

SAVE A PLACE FOR MEIN HEAVEN, FRIEND.

[boom]

THAT MUST BEWHERE IT LIVES.

BE A MAN, STEVE.

[nervously]BE A MAN, BE A MAN, BE A MAN,

BE A MAN, BE A MAN,BE A MAN, BE A MAN.

[creature growling]

[screams]

I DON'T WANT TO BE A MAN!

[grunts]

DAD?

OH, MY GOD.DAD!

IT'S YOU!

- [grunts]

- I HAVE ONEQUESTION FOR YOU, DAD.

WHY DO I HAVEA BALL-GINA?

- NOW, FATHER, SINCE YOU'VERETURNED TO THE CIVILIZED WORLD,

IT'S CRUCIALTHAT YOU LEARN THE DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN A SALAD FORKAND A DESSERT FORK.

- [chomping]

- NO, NO, NO.SALAD FORK.

- HMM?

[grunts]- [groans]

[gasping]

- WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

ARMANDO, THESE ARE PEOPLE TRYINGTO HAVE A NICE MEAL.

WHY YOU BOTHER THEM?- [gasps]

- ALLOW ME TO APOLOGIZEON ARMANDO'S BEHALF.

HE IS NEW,BUT HE IS VERY GOOD BOY.

- [gasps]

- ARMANDO, UH,WHY DON'T YOU GO

AND GET THESE NICE PEOPLESOME FREE BREADSTICKS?

- [gasps]

- YOU COME BACK ANYTIME.

ANYBODY YOU WANNASTAB HIM IN THE NECK,

YOU GO RIGHT AHEAD.

[upbeat music]

- [crunches]

[camera shutter clicking]

[mechanical arm whirring]

- [grunts]- YIPPEE!

- [grunts]

[shrieks]

AAH! AAH!

[screaming]

[growls]

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