Baby Not from Booty

  • Season 2, Ep 1
  • 10/05/2011

Nick brainstorms new Jack Daniels slogans and practices safe zombie sex.

BUT THE MOTIVATION IS HARD.

AND YOU WANT TO HAVE SERIOUS DEFINITION

BUT ALSO HAVE IT BE ENJOYABLE.

SOUND IMPOSSIBLE?

REMEMBER WHENYOU HIT PUBERTY,

YOUR HORMONES RAGED

AND ALL YOU WANTED TO DO WASTRY AND SUCK YOUR OWN --?

BUT THEN YOU GOT OLDER,TRIED TO GET LAID

AND FORGOT ABOUT TRYINGTO SUCK YOUR OWN --?

WELL, WE'VE DECIDED TO BRINGTHAT MOTIVATION BACK WITH...

ALL YOU NEED ISTHIS RUBBER STRAP.

AND IT HELPS YOU TO RECOIL

AND THEN MAKEA THRUSTING MOTIONTOWARDS YOUR --.

KEEP WORKINGTHOSE ABS, GARY.

YOU KNOW WHAT'SAT THE FINISH LINE, BABY.

I SURE DO, MAN.

MY OWN --,MY OWN MOUTH

AND SOME SWEET ABS.( laughs )

AS YOU CAN SEE,THE BLOWING MOTION USES MUSCLES

THAT WE NEVER THOUGHTTO EXIST.

I MEANLOOK AT HOW RIPPED YOU GET.

AND THE FINAL GOAL ISYOUR BEST FRIEND--

YOUR OWN PENIS.WHAT CAN BE BETTER?

I'VE BEEN ABLETO SUCK MY OWN JUNKSINCE I WAS EIGHT.

- WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?- A GOOD QUESTION, BROTHER.

CHECK OUT THE T-BAG STRAP.

THIS PUSHES YOUR BODYPAST THE --

AND STRAIGHTTO THOSE FARAWAY BALLS.

TRY SLAM DUNKINGTHOSE IN YOUR MOUTH

AND WE'RE TALKINGAMAZING ABS.

- WORD?- WE EVEN HAVE ANOTHER LEVEL--

THE FART SNORTER.GET STRAIGHT TO THE HOLE...

( inhales deeply )AND SMELL THOSE FARTS.

I'LL STICKWITH THE BALLS.

I HEAR YA.FART SNORTING IS ADVANCED.

( muffled )I'M DOING IT!

- I'M SUCKING MY OWN --!- SCORE!

- ENJOY THOSE BEACH-READY ABS.- I WANNA SNORT FARTS!

YOU'RE GETTING TALKY, GARY!I'M THE FART SNORTER!

Announcer: "SUCK YOUR OWN -- ABS"

COMES WITH OPTIONAL T-BAG BELT AND FART-SNORTER CORD.

IN A BATHROOM OUTSIDEOF A HOT TOPIC.

NOW THE TEENAGE MOM WASONE OF OUR STUDENTS-- DIJON.

THAT'S ME.THAT'S MY NAME.

SHE SAID SHE DIDN'T KNOWSHE WAS PREGNANT.

SHE SAID SHE THOUGHTTHE BABY WAS A DOOKIE.

- ( snickering )- Teacher: OKAY, NOW COME ON. THIS IS SERIOUS STUFF.

NOW FOR HER SENIOR PROJECT,

DIJON HAS MADEAN EDUCATIONAL FILM

ABOUT HER EXPERIENCEWITH TEEN PREGNANCY.

- DIJON.- BACK AT YOU.

I MADE A VIDEO

TO HELP PEOPLE TO DEALWITH THE SITUATION

IF YOU DO HAVE A BIG MEAL,

YOU GO TO THE BATHROOMAND A BABY COMES OUT.

ANYWAY, THIS IS MY VIDEO

AND IF IT BLOWS UPAND IT'S FAMOUS,

I'M GONNA QUIT SCHOOLAND BUY A GUN.

( hip-hop music playing )

♪ DID A BABYOR A POOPY DROP OUT BETWEEN YOUR THIGHS? ♪

♪ DO IT LOOK LIKE A SNICKERSOR DO IT GOT DADDY'S EYES? ♪

♪ WHICH HO DROPPEDA BOMB IN THE BOWL? ♪

♪ IF IT CAMEFROM THE BOOTY-OIT'S A DOODY, YO ♪

♪ BABY NOT FROM BOOTY,BABY NOT FROM BOOTY... ♪

( vocalizing )

( continues singing )

♪ KEEP A LOOK OUTAFTER YOU MAKE A STINKY ♪

♪ WHY'S THAT BABYIN THE TOILET? WHY'S THATPOOPY GOT A PINKY? ♪

♪ IN CASE YOU'RE CONFUSEDIF IT'S A PERSON OR A POO ♪

♪ REMEMBER THIS,DIARRHEA DON'T WAVEBACK AT YOU ♪

♪ BABY NOT FROM BOOTY,BABY NOT FROM BOOTY ♪

♪ NOW YOU GOT TO GO ON MAURYTO TEST THE D.N.A. ♪

♪ OF THE TOILET-WATERDAUGHTER THAT DROPPEDOUT OF YOUR VAJAY ♪

♪ IF THERE'S CORN IN IT,NO ONE WAS BORN IN IT ♪

♪ TOO $HORT, GET YOUR SWEEP ON ♪

♪ IF THERE'S CORN IN IT,NO ONE WAS BORN IN IT ♪

♪ A DUMP COME OUTYOUR RUMP ♪

♪ A DUMPCOME OUT YOUR RUMP... ♪

THESE ARE THE FANCY MUSTARDS, Y'ALL.

♪ A DUMP COME OUTYOUR RUMP ♪

♪ LET'S GET MUSTARDEDUP IN HERE, WHAT? ♪

♪ BABY NOT FROM BOOTY,BABY NOT FROM BOOTY ♪

♪ BUT IF YOU LAID ITFROM YOUR BOOTY, THEN YOUONLY MADE A DOODY ♪

♪ IT CAME FROM BEHINDLIKE RUDY, RUDY ♪

♪ RUDY, RUDY,RUDY, RUDY ♪

♪ IF THERE'S CORN IN IT,NO ONE WAS BORN IN IT ♪

♪ A DUMP COME OUTYOUR RUMP, Y'ALL ♪

♪ THERE'S A SMELLYIN YOUR BELLY ♪

♪ SMELLY IN YOUR BELLY,GET IT OUT, FIND A FELLY ♪

♪ A DUMP COME OUTYOUR RUMP. ♪

- ( music stops )- Teacher: OKAY.

- THAT'S WAS VERY CREATIVE, DIJON.- Dijon: THANK YOU.

BACK AT YOU.

- ( alarm ringing )- Dijon: CAN I GET THAT BACK?

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