FantasticCaps & Obama's Cabinet

  • Season 4, Ep 10
  • 07/23/2008

Carlos imagines a ragtag team of handicapped crime fighters, selects cabinet members for the Obama Administration and sings the blues.

WE WERE TALKING ABOUT MY DADAND YOU KNOW HOW MOST,

MOST PEOPLE THINK THEIR DADSAND MOMS ARE BRILLIANT

UNTIL YOU GETOLD ENOUGH TO REALIZETHAT THEY'RE STUPID?

YOU KNOW THAT AGEWHERE YOU WERE LIKE,

"YOU'RE A DUMBASS, DAD."YOU KNOW THAT?

THAT NEVER HAPPENED TO ME,'CAUSE MY DAD IS REALLY

A BRILLIANT GUY.IT WAS THE OPPOSITE.

I THOUGHT MY DADWAS AN IDIOT GROWING UP;THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

BUT MY DAD WAS A GENIUS, MAN.MY DAD WOULD DO THINGS TO ME...

HERE'S WHAT MY DAD WOULD DO.MY DAD WOULD JUST

SMACK ME IN THE FACE LIKE,ONCE EVERY TWO MONTHS.

ALL RIGHT, HE WOULD JUSTGO LIKE THIS-- [Swoosh]--

AND I WOULD BE LIKE,"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

AND HE'D LOOK AT MERIGHT IN THE FACE AND GO,

[Dad Voice] "HEY, DON'TACT LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW

THAT I KNOWWHAT YOU DID, OKAY?"

AND THEN HE'D JUSTWALK AWAY AND I WAS LIKE,

"HOW DID HEFIND OUT ABOUT THAT?"

AND LATER MY FRIENDSWOULD BE LIKE,

"DUDE, LET'S GO GET HIGH.""NOT EVEN, DUDE.

I DON'T KNOW WHO RATTED, BUT MYDAD FOUND OUT ABOUT LAST TIME!"

HE'S A GENIUS.

I REMEMBER THE DAYMY DAD CALLS ME UP.

I KNEW IT WAS WEIRD'CAUSE HE NEVER, LIKE,TALKS TO ME LIKE THIS,

BUT HE WAS LIKE, "SO MI HIJO,HOW ARE YOU DOING?"

"I'M GOOD, DAD. I'M GOOD.""FAMILY GOOD? FAMILY GOOD?"

"YEAH, DAD, FAMILY'S GREAT."

"BUSINESS, YOU DOING GOOD?BUSINESS, YOU DOING OKAY?"

I'M LIKE, "DAD,YOU NEVER ASK MEABOUT MY CAREER."

"NO, JUST CHECKING,EVERYTHING GOOD? BANK ACCOUNT,

IT'S OKAY, BANK ACCOUNT?" I GO,"YEAH, THE BANK ACCOUNT FINE.

I'M, YOU KNOW,I'M DOING PRETTY GOOD.WHAT'S GOING ON, DAD?"

"OH, YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST THATWHEN I WAS A LITTLE BOY

"I HAD A DREAM, MI HIJO,AND THE DREAM WASTHAT IF I HAD A TRACTOR,

"ON THAT DAY I KNEW THATI HAD ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING

AND I COULD DIE."

"SO YOU WANT METO BUY YOU A TRACTOR?"

"NO, IT'S JUST I HAD A DREAM.I'M JUST SAYING."

I GO, "DUDE, IT'S COOL, MAN.I'LL BUY YOU A TRACTOR.

"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.BUT YOU LIVE IN EAST L.A., DAD.

SO I'M GONNA BUY YOU,LIKE A USED TRACTOR."

HE'S LIKE, "OH, IN THE DREAMIT WAS BRAND-NEW."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I GO, "WHAT DO YOU NEEDA TRACTOR FOR, DAD?"

"YOU KNOW, I NEED A TRACTORSO THAT WHEN MY CADILLAC

IS IN THE SHOP, YOU KNOW,I CAN USE THE TRACTOR."

I GO, "DAD,YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A CADILLAC."

PARALYZED BY CRIME...AH! SOMEBODY HELP! HELP!

THERE WERE HERO'S WHO REFUSED TO TAKE IT SITTING DOWN.

NICE TRY,CAPTAIN WHEELCHAIR.

BUT I KNOWYOUR ACHILLES HEEL...THE STAIRS

FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE,YOU'RE GONNA GET THE CHAIR.

HA!

HAAA!UHH!

AHHH!

[THUMP]

THAT'S HOW I ROLL, BABY.

THEY WERE A TEAM WITH SUPER ABILITIES AND DISABILITIES.

USE YOUR POWERS.MAKE-A-WISH, GIRL.

BEFORE I DIE,I'D REALLY LIKE YOUTO GIVE ME YOUR GUN.

AH, MAN.

WHAT'RE YOU DOIN'?

IT'S HER LAST WISH.I HAD TO DO IT.

MAN, SHE'S ALL OUTTA WISHES.

I HAVE SIX MONTHS TO LIVE.BUT YOU'RE TIME'S UP, BITCH.

THEY WERE SPECIAL, BUT NOT JUST BECAUSE

THEIR MOM WROTE IT ON THEIR UNDERWEAR.

[GRUNTING]GET THIS BEAM OFF ME!

I CAN'T LIFT IT!I NEED MORE STRENGTH!

I NEED SPECIAL ED'S STRENGTH.

PHIL!YEAH!

LIFT THE BEAM, PHIL!HUH?

LIFT THE BEAM!HUH?

IF YOU LIFT THE BEAMI'LL GIVE YOU A JUICE BOX.

JUICE BOX!

[GRUNTING]

THANK YOU. YOU SAVED MY LIFE.

[SNAPPING SOUND] AHHH!

IF YOU NEED HELP FIGHTING EVIL, THEY WILL BE THERE.

[SLURPING SOUND]

IF YOU NEED HELP WITH YOUR SATs,

THEY'LL BE SOMEWHERE ELSE. THEY ARE...

BUT ONE OF THEIR OWN TURNED AGAINST THEM

SHAKING THEIR FAMILY TIES...

BEHOLD THE POWEROF PARKENSON'S!

[BRAKES SCREECHING]AHHH!

SHAKY, WHY HAVE YOUTURNED TO THE DARK SIDE?

LOOK HOW UPSET PHIL IS.

HUH?

I'M THROUGH WITH YOU,FANTASTIC CAPS.

I'VE TAKEN UPWITH GINORMO!

WHO?

[Super Hero Voice] I...AM...GINORMO!

REALLY?

[Regular Voice] YES, REALLY.I'M GINORMO.

BUT YOU'RE SOLITTLE AND CUTE.

[Regular Voice] I AM NOT CUTE![Superhero Voice] I'M GINORMO!

WITNESS THE POWER OFMY GINORMO HEADSONIC BLAST!

[SONIC SOUNDS,BLASTING EXPLOSIONS]

I'M GINORMO!

Announcer...

THIS TIME THE CHALLENGED GET CHALLENGED.

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