November 8, 2016 - Election Night Special

  • 11/08/2016

The Best F#@king News Team, Ana Marie Cox, Douglas Brinkley and Keegan-Michael Key join Trevor for live coverage of the 2016 presidential election.

Welcome to The Daily Show.

We are liveacross many channels.

Thank you so much for tuning in.

It is election night.

11:00 p.m. on the East Coast,uh, 8:00 out west.

And 9:00 a.m. tomorrow in themiddle of the Pacific Ocean,

uh, which is where we may soonwant to live.

Uh, this is it.

The end ofthe presidential race,

and, uh, it feels like theend of the world, you know?

You know, it's-it's--I'm not gonna lie,

I don't know if, I don't knowyou've come to the right place

for jokes tonight becausethis is the first time

throughout this entire race

where I'm officiallyshitting my pants.

I-I genuinely do not understand

how America can be thisdisorganized or this hateful.

I don't know which one it is,you know?

When most democraciesin the world pick a leader,

they go by, you know, who didmore people vote for?

And America makes it interestingby being like, oh, no,

let's do this electoral collegething, you know?

Tonight is all about whichcandidate, Hillary Clinton,

or Donald Trump, can winmajorities in enough states,

to get 270 electoral votes

and thereby claimthe iron throne.

-Um...-(laughter)

And right now, honestly,I'd call it a nail biter,

if I had any nails left.

Donald Trump is doingmuch better than expected.

He's doing so much winning

that I'm tired of winning.

I cannot believe that I finallyget what that means.

He warned us about it.

I mean, right now, I don't knowif you've seen this,

the Mexican peso is crashing.

That's what's happeningto Mexico's currency,

which means if Trump does win,

Mexico can't affordto pay for that wall.

(laughter)

-Yeah.-(applause)

This is one of the craziestnights of my life.

We still don't knowwhat's happening,

and we're going to take youthrough it.

Every result that comes in,we will share with you.

And it's so crazy because theday started out so peacefully.

You know, Hilary and Donald wentto vote earlier today.

Uh, Trump went to votewith his wife Melania.

And this is true,

when they started filling outtheir ballots,

it looked likehe was checking to see

who Melania was voting for.

And it wasn't just Donald Trump,either.

Even his son Eric Trump waschecking his wife's ballots.

It tells you something thatthe Trump men, themselves,

weren't sure who the Trump womenwere voting for, you know?

He's like leaning over, going,

"Hey, y-you're not goingto screw us over?"

And it's like, "Oh, no, no.

We'll do to youwhat you do to women."

And like, "Oh, okay, good,okay, good, okay, good."

It was a lot easier for Hillary.

She went to vote this morning.

It is the most humbling feeling,Dan,

because, you know, I knowhow much responsibility

goes with this,and so many people

are counting on the outcomeof this election,

what it means for our country,

and I'll do the very best I can,

if I am fortunate enoughto-to win today.

You know, I-I know thisis a scary moment,

and it's, uh, too close to call,but can we just acknowledge

what an amazing moment this is

for Hillary Clintonand all women?

Can we just acknowledgethe moment...

(cheering and applause)

that we may be witnessing?

To see her name on the ballot,

possibly the firstwoman president.

Although, to be honest, like,when I watched that,

I was like, I called a littlebit of BS, you know?

When she was, like, oh,I'm humbled, I'm humbled.

That's not humbling, like,seeing your name as president.

That's, like, that's theopposite of humbling.

That's-that's like when peoplewin an Oscar, I'm humbled.

No, you're not,you won an award.

That's not humbling.

The people sitting downare humbled.

That's who's humbled.

Now, Hillary's like, no, no,I'm really humbled now.

This is...Yeah, wh-where's Trump?

Yeah, I'm very much humbled.

If half of Americans preferreda racist sunset to me,

then maybe, uh, you know?

Maybe she just wantedto use humbled

because that's a wordTrump didn't know.

I don't know what shewas doing there.

Maybe he was there, going,"I've heard rumors

"that Hillary's humbled, folks.

"I don't know what it means,

but it sounds bad,I don't know what that means."

So look, we-we are going to bemaking jokes tonight,

uh, but I can't front,I am very much afraid.

We're also going to bring youthe news as it comes in.

I've got an ear piece in my ear,all right?

They're feeding me information,everything that comes in,

and, uh, we'll be testing that,

uh, and, uh, this is,this is new to me.

I'm not used to beingan actual news anchor.

You know, uh,that's not what I do.

I had,I had this whole joke planned

where every time I told the news

I was going to put glassesand a hat on.

I was going to do this,and then...

(applause)

Like, literally, this is whatI was gonna do.

And I was going to putthe glasses on,

and I was gonna be like,breaking news.

Coming in, it's breaking news,breaking news.

Now the newsis just breaking me, so...

(laughter)

That joke--We'll see if we feel better,

we'll try that joke later.

We'll also be getting updateson the results

from around the country from oursenior election analyst,

Roy Wood Jr., everybody.

Roy Wood Jr. joining us livein the studio.

(cheers and applause)

Roy, my dude,what can you tell us?

-Do you want to hit that?-(laughter)

-I'll hit that, man.-I'll hit that.

Oh, man, Trevor, the resultsare still coming in.

It's still a close racebetween Hillary Clinton

and this damn hot wing man.

(laughter)

You-you're talking aboutDonald Trump, the hot wing?

He looks like a plateof hot wings, bro.

And he gonna win, man.

I mean, look-lookat these results, man.

Let's, let's-- First of all,let's-let's start with Florida.

All right, now.Florida right now,

with 95% ofthe precincts reporting

is, thankfully, stilltoo close to call.

29 electoral votes at stake.

I don't understandwhy they can't

figure it out yet in Florida.

You telling me you serve dinnerto old people at 5:00 p.m.,

but you can't count the votestill 11:00?

I hear you, dude,I hear you.

-What the hell is taking solong? -(applause)

I feel you, man.

You know what's crazyabout Florida

is that the Hispanic turnout

has been insanely highthis year.

Oh, yeah, man,those Latino's, man,

I ain't seen Latinos this happysince Pitbull.

You know, they love Pitbull.

(humming)

You know what?Even though I'm scared,

-Pitbull still makes me happy.-Yeah, he does.

He's-- I can't front,

if Pitbull walked out now

I would forget that the electionis happening.

If he just walked outand was like,

(singing)

♪ Oh, no!

♪ You know you want me

♪ Ha, I know I want you.

And then I'd be like,oh, yeah, wait.

And then the club will close,and you'll be like,

Oh, yeah, Trump.

Yeah, that's exactlywhat would happen.

-Um, what else?-Uh, so Virginia.

Uh, Virginia,good news out of Virginia.

Hillary Clinton has takenVirginia with 48% of the vote.

(cheers and applause)

You know, that's very important'cause, you know,

basically she grabbed Trumpby the Virginia.

(laughter)

Yeah.

It took you a secondon that one.

Oh, but that's why I laughed,I laughed.

This is good.

Uh, with 78% of the precinctsreporting,

they are calling the stateof Ohio for Donald Trump.

(audience booing)

That's-that's frightening'cause they say as Ohio goes,

so goes the election.

Well, you know what's scaryis that, you know,

if their racistIndian caricature

couldn't win the World Series,

this was the next best thingfor them.

-You think this is revenge?-Uh, it's got to be revenge.

You know what's reallydisappointing about Ohio, man,

is that I thought LeBron

was going to deliver thisfor Hillary.

He got out there on the stagewith her and everything.

Man, but that shows youjust how much

people in Ohio hate Hillary.

LeBron gave them a championship

-and they still.-and they still.

And they still, my friend,and they still.

All right, we're gonna keepcatching up with Roy,

with more information as we gothrough the night.

Let's go live now,to Desi Lydic,

who's actually at

the Hillary Clinton victoryparty in Manhattan.

Desi, how is everything there?

Everything's fine, Trevor.

Why wouldn't everything be fine?

We will just have to waita little bit longer

than expected to find outif America prefers

a competent, sane woman,or a misogynist troll doll.

Somehow, it's still too closeto call.

I don't know why.

I love troll dolls;I love them.

They're so cute, like,with the hair and the...

Yeah, okay, it's not aboutthe troll doll, Trevor.

I know. I was just trying to...

Okay, uh, Desi, are you,are you fine right now?

Yeah. No. Yeah. Absolutely.

I am very optimist, that,by the end of the night,

a bare minimum of Americanswill have decided

that the Presidentof the United States

should not be sworn into office

by placing his hand on a pussy.

(laughter)

Listen, at this point,I don't even mind

if Hillary Clintonwins by one vote,

and Donald Trump goes backto his full time job

of trying to bang his daughter.

Wow. All right, Desi.

Uh, I feel your pain.

Thanks for keeping us updated.

We've got more.

Let's go out to Jordan Klepper

over at Trump'selection night party.

Jordan, Trump's havinga pretty strong night.

What do you make of that?

Uh, I don't know.

Yeah, I'd love to have somethingcute to say about this,

but I got to be honest,I kind of assumed

Hillary would havelocked it up by now,

so I didn't reallyprepare anything

for this alternativehorrifying scenario.

So, uh, back to you!

(laughter)

Jordan, out of, out of everyone,

I trusted you to be theprofessional one about this.

Surely, like, surely youprepared something.

Nope.(laughs)

Did not, Trevor.I was not ready.

Uh, it turns out, even TeamTrump wasn't ready for this.

No one in this building

actually thought Trumpmight be president.

This whole party was supposedto be for his defeat.

They can't pivot now.

All the balloons they have,they bought,

they already said"It's rigged" on them.

His supporters are freaking out.

Trump locked himselfin the bathroom,

and his aides are goingthrough the crowd

asking peopleif they have any ideas

for something betterthan Obama care.

(laughter)

Look, Jordan,I know you're shocked,

but realities have to be facedat some point.

Maybe, maybe there are somepositives to focus on.

Okay, positives...You're right, positives.

Uh, let's lookon the bright side.

You know that lie we tell kids,you could be president?

-It's true, now.-(laughter)

Literally anyonecan be president!

(cheering and applause)

Yes.

It helps if you have a penis.

I guess you found the brightside there, Jordan.

Uh, no, no,it didn't work, Trevor.

I just feel confusedand sad and angry.

Tonight it feels like my countryis being taken away from me.

I look around and I see allthese people

who are so different than meand I just get scared.

I mean, why can't we just goback to the way

this country was, you know,like, six hours ago?

We have to mobilizeand kick these monsters

out of Washington.

We have to rejectTrump's message

and make America great again.

-You do realize you sound...-I just heard

that I just said that, yes.

All right.

Well, well, stay strong, Jordan.Thank you so much.

Jordan Klepper, everybody,Jordan Klepper.

(cheers and applause)

Can you believe legit, Roy, thatthis is where we are, man?

You know what, you know whattonight feels like, man?

It feels like, like,the funeral for America.

-That's what it feels like.-It feels like a eulogy.

You're hoping that America'sgonna knock on the coffin,

and be like, nah, I'm good.

I ain't dead, yet, mother.

Like, that's whatI'm hoping happens.

We're hoping for that.

We are live.I'm here with Roy Wood Jr.

We're still checking inwith all of the state results.

Are you keeping in there?

-Are you keeping it together?-Yeah, I'm-I'm trying, man.

-What have you got?-I'm trying, man.

You know, like, you sipping thatbefore you give me the result

-doesn't make me feel good.-Well, just this whole day

shouldn't make you feel good.

Uh, North Carolina,93% of the precincts reporting,

North Carolinagoes to Donald Trump.

What a big surprise.What do you know?

Confederate Flags "R" Usgoes to the hot wing.

That was actuallya very funny joke.

Like, I'm thinking I'm-I'm gonnasave some of these jokes

for tomorrow in my headand then laugh

when the pain has washed over.

That's what I'll do, yeah.

That's what I'll do.Actually, think about it.

Like, for tonight,we're just gonna be like,

until it's called,like, this is...

Barack Obama's still president,Hillary's still in the race,

we're gonna keep this thinggoing. We're gonna

-keep this thing going.-(cheering, applause)

We're gonna keep it up. Aah!

All right, all right. Uh...for more election analysis,

we're joinedby Ronny Chieng, everybody.

-Ronny Chieng in the house.-Thank you, thank you.

Thanks, Trevor.

Lots of questionsbeing asked today, like

"Why the hellis this still going on?

How do we not know who won yet?"

America votes forone of two people.

Or, in this case, a personand pumpkin spice dildo.

Then who-whoeverhas the most wins. Easy.

Do we have to call Ryan Seacrestin to take care of this?

Because they can countthe American Id votes

in a commercial break.Why can't Americans

vote online or by text?

Send a HRT to 1-800 let'sget this (bleep) over with.

Yeah, 20 minutes later--boom, we get the results

and then we can all go back toreading Westworld fan theories.

My personal theoryis the whole thing takes place

on a really boring TV show.

Here, let-let meshow you something.

-Mm.-NOAH: Wait, what are you...

There you go.I just ordered an Uber,

sent a Snapchat, canceledmy Uber, checked my Facebook

and signed up to a Zoomba classin ten seconds.

I'm not gonna lie, you-youdon't... you don't really

seem like the Zoomba type.

I'm Zoomba-ing out my rage,okay, Trevor?

Why does it take this longto reject a candidate?

I can reject 100 people onTinder in less than a minute.

Or they can reject me. Look,it's not important how it works.

Voting needs to get withthe times. It's 2016.

We all have super computersin our pockets

and you're telling me peoplehave to leaving their house,

go to some random middle school,

wait in line for five hoursand pull on a lever.

The only reasona grown man should ever

go to a middle schoolis to sell drugs.

That's a good point.

And I-I agree, but I-I...

think you need to be careful,though, because it shouldn't be

about being fast, it should beabout doing it right.

No. If America wanted to dothings right,

we wouldn't be waiting for...to-to hear whether or not

Donald Trump is president.

-Listen...-(cheering, applause)

Listen, Trevor,

I got a bottle of whiskeyright here, okay?

And in ten minutes,I'm gonna start drinking it.

And all I need to knowis if I'm gonna get happy drunk

or apocalypse drunk.

I'm hoping it's happy drunk.Save some for me, Ronny.

-Ronny Chieng, everybody.-(cheering, applause)

By the way, I thinkyou might have a problem.

The election is, uh,basically over.

I mean, it ends tonight.Or it begins.

But tomorrow, we're allgonna wake up and realize,

"Crap, we stillhave to live together."

How exactly is that gonna go?

Well, Jordan Kleppergot an early look.

KLEPPER: This has been a divisive nightmare

of an election. But in the spirit of moving forward,

at one of the debates, the candidates themselves

took an opportunity to say

one positive thing about each other.

I hitched a ride to a Trump rally to see if his supporters

were also ready to rise above the anger

and reach out to the other side.

Can you say one nice thingabout Hillary Clinton?

Not really.

-Not... not one?-No. No.

No, I have absolutelynothing nice to say

-about Hillary Clinton.-What about people

-who support Hillary?-I think they're idiots.

No, I c... I'm sorry.I'd like to be a gentleman

and say, "Yeah, she'sgot a nice kid." But, uh...

But she has a nice kid, right?

I guess.She hasn't proven herself

to be guilty of anything yet.

I'm sorry.Jordan, what can I tell you?

You're bumming methe (bleep) out, man.

Wow, that was depressing.

So I headed to a Hillary rally.

Surely her supporters would live up to their slogan

of "Stronger Together," and teach those

hateful Trump voters a thing or two about kindness.

What do you likeabout Donald Trump?

Nothing. He's an asshole.

Is there any good thing aboutDonald Trump that you could say?

No.

-No.-No.

I'll give you time.

Okay, let me think. Um... no.

-You didn't really think.-Yes, I did.

All right? No, you didn't.You changed your hair

a little bit and thenyou said the same thing.

-He has economic background.-Okay.

Whether he canput it into a plan

-that will suit our nation,I don't know. -Stop...

Yeah, no, stop. The first partwas a nice compliment.

You weren't loved enoughas a child.

-Oh, that's-that's...-Oh, baby.

Be nice, be nice.

So, both camps have a ways to go.

Maybe they just needed a little push.

What if I gave you two dollars--

would you say something niceabout Hillary Clinton?

-No.-What if I gave you ten dollars?

-No. -What if I told youit will help our society

to put aside your partisanshipand actually say something kind

about somebody thathalf the country supports?

-Not Hillary.-No, no, no. Okay.

How about this: Democrats like expressing their feelings.

Maybe that was the way in.

We're gonna doa "I feel" statement.

-Talk to Donald Trump.-Okay.

I want you to say, "When you'blank,' I feel 'blank'."

When you say,"Grab her by the pussy,"

I feel likea disrespected woman.

Okay, that's good.

When you say,"Let's build a wall,"

I say, "Let's build youinto the wall."

Okay, see what you did rightthere? You didn't say "I feel."

What you did is you used thatas an opportunity

-to be negative.-Mm-hmm.

Now, that's something...

You know who woulddo something like that?

-Donald Trump.-Don't do this.

This wasn't working. If I couldn't unite the people,

maybe I could unit their slogans.

Wait, no. That's not it. Good.

Okay, better. That can work.

Make Amer... Make America

-Stronger together again.-Stronger together again.

-Yeah, clunky, but it...-It works.

It's a co... It works.

Make Americastronger together again.

-Little bit of both.-Trump.

Way to move forward. Okay.Just trying to move us forward.

Make America strongertogether again.

Little bit of both.

You don't want it?

I mean, it's...

Yeah, it's for...it's for us coming together.

In hell.

But then, just when I gave up hope,

I finally heard it, that one positive thing.

Okay, well,there's got to be something good

-about Donald Trump.-His comb-over.

Pretend your husbandis Hillary Clinton.

Say something nice.

I like your hair.

I mean, his hair is hilarious.

-His hair's real.-Nice hair.

So if there's one thing we can all rally around as a country,

it's great hair.

God bless America.

Please welcomeAna Marie Cox, everybody.

-(cheering and applause)-Thank you so much, Ana.

-Thank you.-Thank you for being here.

So, on a night like tonight,you are American,

-you are a woman...-For now.

What are you feeling?

I'm really heartbroken.

Why?

This is not the countrythat I hoped it was.

Um, you know,Hillary could still pull it out.

-Yeah. -It's possible,I think, technically,

last I looked at my phone.

But, um, we are more divided,

we are more racist,and we are more sexist

than I had wanted to believe.

And whateverthe results are tonight,

that's going to remain true.

And it's not funny, um, and it'snot something to laugh about.

And I'm gladthat we can find some humor,

-but there is gonna be a lotof work to do. -Yeah.

I mean, I've been making jokesabout, like,

I call top bunkin the work camps, you know?

But... I-I still call top bunk.

Um... I guessthat's for real now.

Let me... let me ask youan honest question.

This is a tough one. It's easyfor me to sit here with you

and-and completely agreeand say you're right,

okay, the countryis more sexist and racist

than we would like to believe.

But if we were to takea step back,

is there no other possibilitythat the people voting

for Trump, not all of thembut many of them,

are voting for Trumpfor different reasons?

I don't actually mean to saythat they themselves harbor hate

in their hearts for black peopleor people of color or for women.

-Yeah. -I don't think thatthere's... I'm trying to make

a very... make a very finedistinction between people

-who actively are racist,actively are sexist, -Yes.

and something a littledifferent, which is, I think,

what happened, which is people,mainly white men,

experiencing... the kindest wayto say it would be nostalgia

for an America that is goneand that will not come back.

-Yeah.-Um, and Donald Trump told them

he could bring it back.And I think, you know,

my heart tonight goes out themost for the people who I think

will-will bethe most impacted negatively

by a Trump presidency,but my heart also goes out

to those white working white...class white men,

because they're gonna getscrewed, too.

You know, like, his policies arenot going to help those people.

Um, his economic policiesare gonna...

you know, their jobsare not gonna come back.

Um, he might run the economyinto the ground.

Um, he's gonna take awaytheir health care.

-Those peopleare also using Obamacare. -Yeah.

Um, they're not...they've-they've traded away

their health careand their economic opportunities

for the right to be a littlemore explicit in their racism.

Now, we-we talk a lotabout the news and the media

and what they should be doing

and what they shouldn't bedoing.

A lot of people are lookingat the stories right now,

a lot of people are lookingat the results, going,

"What happened to the polls?

"The polls said so many things.

Where are these polls?"

I-I don't have any, you know,for certain answers.

I was... I was readingthe same polls as everyone else.

Um, but I think that oneof the things that happened

is that we saw this turnout...we saw this in-in Florida,

what we thought everyonewho was... who was hoping

that Hillary would win thoughtwas a good thing,

which is all this unprecedentedturnout from-from Latinos

and people who have saidthey had never voted before.

-Yes. -It turns outthere were some other people

who had also unlikely to voteand they turned out as well.

-The silent majority.-The silent majority.

There's long been in politics,for the past ten, 12 years,

-this ideaof the missing white man, -Yes.

that they... that there was a...there was a kind of voter

that felt very alienatedfrom the process

and was staying homebecause he saw this a contest--

this is startingto sound familiar to you--

-as a contest between elites-Yes.

and that that person could bemotivated to come to the polls

should there be someonethat spoke to him on his level.

Basically the White Walkers.That's what they are.

-Yeah, yeah.-The winter is coming

and then the White Walkers come,and then everyone's like,

-"They're not gonna come." -Andwhat's-what's interesting here

is though th-they came.And this is... this is...

It'll be interesting to seewhat happens after this,

'cause, you know,another headline for tonight

is that voter suppression workedin places like North Carolina.

And what-what people had beensaying is the Republican Party,

um, that if-if Hillary w-wontonight-- I was saying this--

that this Latino turnout,among other things, would mean

the end of the Republican Party,because they don't have

-a demographic, um, you know,puzzle to put together. -Mm-hmm.

But if you can get Donald Trumpin office

and the White Walkers come,

they can freeze everythingin place, you know?

Um, they can make vot...they can... they can...

-You know, the Voting Rights Actwas already gutted. -Yes.

And they could do more to it.And so the Republican Party

could keep that, you know,demographic puzzle together

by basically cutting out,

you know, the parts of the-thecountry that go Democratic.

We-We've got to goto an ad break,

but I-I just wantedto ask you one final question

and that is, if Hillary wereto pull it out, as you say,

uh, then how would you feel?

Oh, I'm-I'm stillvery disturbed, you know?

I'm still... Um, I'll be happythat a woman won.

Um, I will be happythat she won.

She's-she's, I think,a good candidate.

I think she could makea good president,

great president, perhaps,but I think

that there's a lot of damagehere to repair,

and it's gonna have to start,you know, after this show ends.

-Well, thank you very muchfor joining us. -Thank you.

We are live, and we'rechecking in with state results.

We are in New York, so, uh, it'sonly fitting for us to check in

on the, uh... the wholeof New York as a state.

-Roy? -You know what, man,I'm not gonna let this thing

get me down, man.Pull your hat out from earlier.

Put your hat on.Put your newsman hat on.

-Yeah, but I...-(cheering and applause)

-It's a nice hat, man.-It is a nice hat.

-Yeah, man, do your thing, man.-So I got to do the...

-Go ahead.-I got-got to do the full thing?

Wait, is that what you thinkjournalists look like now?

No, it was... it was, like, a...it's an...

like, an exaggerated thing,of, like...

You look like a reporterfrom the Civil Rights Movement.

But that's what I was gonna be.I was gonna be those guys,

gonna be like, "Breaking news.Results coming in

-from New York State."-(laughs)

Speaking of New York, uh,Hillary won New York.

(cheering and applause)

Well, that's great news, Roy!

Look, she whupped Trump so bad,you could hear Alicia Keys

remixing, um,"Empire State of Mind."

♪ New York, concrete junglewhere Trump's a loser ♪

♪ There's... (clears throat)

-Uh... -You have a horriblevoice there, Roy Wood.

You just gonna...Okay. I'm-I'm just...

-But you said I must dothe thing. -I'm happy

-that New Yorkers came togetheron this one. -Yeah.

'Cause all they do is fightin this state.

They fight, they argue.I saw two pigeons

and a damn rat fightingover a hot dog.

They took a breakand went and voted for Hillary.

-You got to respect that.-You got to respect that, man.

100% you got to respect that.

Now, also, let's take a quicklook at the Senate race, man.

Uh, Chuck Schumer, the Democrat,won New York.

-(cheering and applause)-Wow, that's a giant victory.

-Giant, giant victory.-Which... I don't understand

why that's a surprise,that a Democrat won New York.

Next thing you're gonna tell me,ooh, pizza is the top-rated food

in New York. Of course.

-It's all good, man.-I actually didn't know that.

-Enjoy your Pepto then. Enjoythe Pepto. -Thank you, man.

Please welcome Douglas Brinkley,

everybody. Thank you so muchfor being here, Douglas.

Well, this is interesting.

We can only live in the present,we can project the future,

but you are a manwho specializes in the past.

Is there anythingthat can compare

to what we are seeingand feeling right now?

Nothingin recent historical memory

that is, uh,as shocking as this.

I mean, you have to go backto Truman versus Dewey in 1948,

uh, when, you know, peoplethought for sure Dewey had won.

I'm stunnedall the polls are wrong.

I don't know...Everybody guessed this wrong.

It lookslike Donald Trump's won.

And, um,there's really nothing like it,

um, that we can compare it to.It's a... kind of a takeover.

It was the outsiders beatingthe elites.

Even George W. Bushand George Herbert Walker Bush,

Mitt Romney,Republican establishment

really want nothing to dowith Trump, but he won.

Now, now, if you look at thishistorically, though, you go,

uh, people like Reagansurprised everybody.

But is Reagan a fair comparisonto Donald Trump?

Because, I mean, yes,Trump is an outsider,

and Reagan was considered one,

but Donald Trump is,like, an outsider of humans.

-He's an outsider of everything.-(laughter)

Like, has there been a situationwhere someone came in

who was loathed by Republicans,

and then went onto work with them?

No, Reagan was a conservative,

but he had beengovernor of California.

-Yeah. -Trump's been--no public service.

We're dealing with a very kindof dangerous figure coming in.

I mean, it's hard to imagine him

standing and taking the oathof office.

-Oh, but... -'Cause we knowwhere those hands

-have been when he puts themon the bible. -That's right.

-Yeah. -Well, the good news,though, is

Reagan did win in 1980,

and he won by a landslide,and he was a...

But Reagan was an optimist.

Trump's been very pessimisticabout America.

But Reagan did end up defendingSocial Security and Medicare.

He ended up doing the historicarms reductions

-with Gorbachev...-Uh-huh.

...which the left applauded.

He dissed Roe v. Wade,

but never did anythingto undo it.

The point being,if Trump wins tonight,

which it looks likehe's headed to it,

we're gonna have to hopethere's some silver lining,

that Trump's notquite as radical

and unhinged as we think.

But I think history's gonna showthis is Brexit.

Brexit was the warning sign,

this economic populismin Europe, but this is...

Trump warned us.He said

it was Brexit plus, plus, plus.

Yeah, and that's looking likeit may be tonight.

And I don't know what

the stock market's gonna dotomorrow, what the world mar...

People are shattered right nowall over the globe.

This is a bizarre evening inAmerican presidential history.

When you lookat all the knowledge

you possess from the past...

I mean, you teach, as well,you talk to students.

Have you seen any signthat this would come?

Was there any indication thatmaybe polls were off,

or people weren't telling uswhat they were really gonna do?

That's a great question, Trevor.

I remember in the 1960s,Bob Dylan did a song

called "The Balladof the Thin Man" in 1965.

And Dylan said,"Something is happening

"and you don't know what it is.

Do you, Mr. Jones?"

Mr. Jones was the establishment.

Mr. Jones was Lyndon Johnson andMcNamara and the Rockefellers,

everybody, becausethe counter culture had emerged.

The hard right, the alternativeright's the victor here

if Trump wins becausethey stole the counterculture

-gorilla, you know, warfarepress style... -Yeah.

And they went hard Breitbart.

And that was a radical thingto do, so we're kind...

They've kind of stolenthe tricks of the '60s

counterculture movement,

and now it's the hard rightmovement of 2016.

So if you're looking at a trendand you're looking at history

and you're looking at wherewe possibly could go from here

if, God forbid,

Donald Trump were to be thepresident of the United States,

does the Republican Party existthe way it has,

or does it now devolve

into an extreme alt rightpolitical party?

I think it's an extremealt right political party.

I think you have to takeDonald Trump on his word.

I mean, you're lookingat a weird scenario

of people like, uh,you know, Sean Hannity

could be chief of staffin The White House.

You could have Rudy Giulianibeing attorney general.

You could have Newt Gingrichbeing, uh, bec...

Newt Gingrich beingsecretary of state.

I say that because you're goingto have a Republican senate

and a Republican congress.

The main thing is, to... for...to be heartening,

like 2000when Bush won by just an iota.

-Really didn't even really win.-Yeah.

It wentto the Supreme Court 5-4.

But this is a tight election.

This is not wave.This is not a landslide.

Donald Trump did not...

If he wins tonight,this is not a landslide.

It's still pretty neck to neck.

They're fighting over Michigan.

The really story tonight,I think,

is how Trump tookthe Barry Goldwater right,

morphed it with segregationistracist George Wallace views...

-Uh-huh. -...but grabbedRoss Perot's anti-NAFTA.

Perot won 19% in 1992,against NAFTA.

And you're seeingthis play out--

this anti-NAFTA sentiment

that Trump's been able to run inOhio, in Michigan and Wisconsin.

It is a scary story to tell,

and, uh, I guess,we are now part of history.

-Thank you so much.-Thank you, Trevor.

Thank you for being here.Douglas Brinkley, everybody.

The last few weeks,

a lot of people have beentalking about a rigged election.

-Now I wish they were right.-(laughter)

Well, a few people were talkingabout it, to be honest.

Well, actually, one person.

Donald Trump, no one else.

No one else seriously believesthat it's possible,

not even other Republicans.

But that didn't stop Trumpfrom urging his followers

to remain vigilant.

So the question is, who werethe noble poll watchers

that heeded his call?

Well, Desi Lydic reports.

LYDIC: Mr. Trump said election day, voter fraud

would be rampant, and urged supporters to watch the polls.

Go around and lookand watch other polling places.

LYDIC: I headed to a Trump rally to meet these brave volunteers

and find out what they'd be looking for.

Mr. Trump has been talking

about watching the pollsfor voter fraud.

What should we be watching for?

Puerto Ricans, Hispanicsin there voting several times.

-Oh, really? Puerto Ricans andHispanics? -Oh, yes. Hispanics.

What is itabout the Puerto Ricans?

-They're not immigrants.-Mm-hmm.

-They're invaders.-Hmm.

They're HispanicRoman Catholic invaders,

I maintain brought hereby the Roman hierarchy.

-Wow. -And it's not just them.It's gonna be others

that are gonna do it--Hispanics, blacks, left wing,

socialists, communists,pro-homosexual, pro-black,

anti-white, gun-grabbing,

pro-Muslim,all these different factions.

Are you gonna use your whipto stop the invaders?

I don't understand the question.

LYDIC: Thankfully, racist Indiana Jones

had his eyes on the invaders de Puerto Rico.

But other poll watchers were on the lookout

for something much scarier.

Across the street,I have a cemetery.

There's a woman walking aroundwith a clipboard,

and she's writing stuff down

-off of headstones, you know?-Tombstones.

And you hear about that kindof fraud, too,

you know,so that concerns me.

How does something like thathappen? How...?

-Do you think she's going aroundwith a crayon

-and a sheet of paper and...?-I don't know.

I questioned the church, andthey haven't call me back yet.

LYDIC: Yes, Trump's appeal had inspired countless volunteers.

And although comprehensive studies have shown

that voter fraud has only occurred 31 times

in the past billion votes,

the specter of 2012 haunted them.

-There are certain wardsin Philadelphia, okay? -Uh-huh.

That in the last election,I think Romney got zero votes.

The last election, there wereprecincts in Philadelphia

-where Romney had no votes.-Zero.

How can that be?

-'Cause everyone knows...-I just can't...

...Mitt is a man of the streets.

-I can't imagine...-You know what I mean?

LYDIC: While many volunteered to poll-watch as individuals,

one man answered Trump's call to action by pledging

his entire organization, his entire skin-heady

armband-wearing, racial purityish organization.

-What can I call you?-You can call me Jeff.

Jeff the... Nazi? The...?

National Socialist.

-Neo-Nazi? -We're NationalSocialists, White Nationalists.

LYDIC: Right, so, Jeff, the White Nationalist

who just so happens to really like German emojis.

What is it that you would ask

the members ofthe White Nationalist movement

to do on election day?

Basically, we just ask peopleto go to the polling stations

and try to keep an out for anypotential illegal activity.

Basically just a low key...

Um, I don't wantto say advisers.

Low key...

-Intimidating?-No.

Can't think of the wordI'm looking for.

-(whispering): Suppression?-No.

I don't know.

But, uh, we are askingour people to dress low-key.

You know, we're not telling themuniforms.

We're not telling themsymbolism.

Seems like there are a lotof rules around it.

You're really kind of beinga Nazi about the rules.

And what does election fraudlook like?

Well, this is tough to say,because in the past, you've had

cases where people in graveyardshave been casting votes,

the whole, um, Florida chard.

-The chards on the electionballots in Florida. -Sorry.

-Chodes. I think it's chodes.-Chodes? Right.

The chode issue in Floridawith the ballots.

You know, these are all thingsthat, uh...

that are of a concernto all Americans.

LYDIC: Who could forget the hanging chodes of 2000?

For weeks, investigators counted bags of chodes,

examining chode after chode for irregularities.

But with the White Nationalists making sure that the polls

were all white... all right,

Jeff's favorite candidate was certain to win.

Donald Trump--

now we're not endorsing himofficially per se.

What is your idealpresidential candidate?

What, like,in a perfect, perfect world?

-Perfect world.-Perfect world?

A staunch, uh, nationalist,

someone that wantsto bring back American jobs,

someone that wantsto close the borders,

someone that wants to bring backthis American glory.

Someone who's gonnamake America great again.

We do want someone that's gonnamake America great again.

Trump seems like the appropriatecandidate for you.

He wants to get the Muslims out,

he wantsto get the Mexicans out,

he wants to bringthe European supermodels in.

All sounds good to me.

LYDIC: I'm sure it does.

Any final words, Jeff, the White Nationalist?

I want to touchon the Jews, too,

because we wantto disclude him.

LYDIC: Okay, yeah, he's a Nazi.

We've got more resultsfrom Roy Wood Jr.

-Roy...-(laughter)

it is not looking good, man.

-What's happening out there?-Ah...

Trump won Florida.

(audience groans)

He did. He won Florida and he won Georgia.

Though Georgia'sa little less surprising,

'cause everybody saidit was gonna be a swing state.

But honestly, you know,Hillary would have needed

a bigger black turnoutthan what Obama got...

when he was running.

She would have neededthat many black...

She would have neededall the bl...

-All... -That's, like,every single black person.

All the dead black peoplecome back to life, all...

-(laughter)-the black people.

She'd need, like,the equivalent,

like, like nine Kevin Hartmovies of black people.

-Yeah. -She would needan approval rating

that's higher than Kevin Hart's.

-Wow. -Not even Abraham Lincolnhad a higher approval rating...

She would need, like,every single cast member

from everyTyler Perry movie ever.

-To win.-She would need the audience

of nine Tyler Perry movies

and three Obama inaugurations.

-(laughter)-This is not good, man.

-No, it's not good.-Enjoy your drink.

Please welcomeKeegan-Michael Key!

-♪ -(cheering, applause)

-All right.-Welcome, welcome, welcome,

welcome, welcome,welcome.

-Okay, thank you.-Welcome to the show.

Man, I wishwe could have, uh, been here,

you know, in a slightlydifferent situation.

Just a slightly differentsituation. (clears throat)

-You were watching right now.What are you... -Hmm?

-What are you feeling?-I'm sorry, what's happening?

Where are we? I'm sor...

Did I wake up? No, I didnot wake up from a nightmare.

No, this is...it's really happening.

Um, what... I'm just, uh,right now,

all I'm just thinking aboutis that, uh, I might...

I was, uh, now I feel like Ishould have just stayed at home

in Detroit and lived there,'cause I'm so close to Canada.

I'm so close.I could just move like that.

-You know what I mean?-I feel like that's the feeling

-everyone is having right now.-Yeah.

Are you one of those peoplewho is as shocked?

Oh, no,I'm-I'm completely shocked.

I had no idea thatthis was gonna happen.

I'm a big...I'm a big Nate Silver guy,

and I thoughtwe had this thing in the bag.

-I really did. And...-So your downfall is numbers.

-It's numbers.-I feel like under Trump

numbers are going to go away.

-They're gonna go away.-It feels like it's fitting.

It's fitting that under Trumpnumbers are not a thing anymore.

-There will be no more math.-Yes.

He's just gonna go...he's like, "It'll be fun.

We can... we can do it."Or whatever.

-You know what I mean? -Yeah.The numbers and language...

"But, sir, the numbersaren't gonna work."

"It's fine.""No, it's not fine.

It's actually finite logic,and it's called mathematics."

-Yeah, it's gonna be an issue.-He'll be like,

"Look at where your mathgot you last time, folks."

-Right! -That's how he's gonnawin every single conversation.

He's like,"Where did your math get you?

Everybody had insurance. Boo."

It's a scary time anda scary place for us to be in

because of how much damageDonald Trump can do.

-Right. -Uh, you are connectedcloser than most.

I mean,... I mean, for you...

You realize, I mean,after this night,

President Obama is-is...still a president,

but now we havea president-elect.

Yes. Yes. And I'm try...I'm already in a place

where I'm trying...I'm trying to savor

as much time as we have leftwith him, you know?

'Cause it's likea forced breakup.

It's like someone said,"It's not enough of a dowry,

and you don't getto get married."

You don't get to be marriedanymore or something.

So... or a forced divorce,I should say.

But I, um, yeah, I'm-I'm, uh...

President-elect, it's gonna...it's gonna kind of loom,

you know, like a dark cloud.It's an interesting thing.

What did...what did he mean to you?

I mean, he's not gone,but what did he mean?

Well, what did he mean--to be honest with you, he...

I really feel...Jordan and I both feel

that our show would not haveexisted if it wasn't for Obama.

-Yeah.-It really wouldn't have.

I think that he becamea part of the zeitgeist,

and people started thinking,oh, this is...

this is another facethat exists in America.

This is another facethat counts in America.

-Yeah.-And not only did it count,

but he became the leader...of this nation,

and-and the leaderof the free world.

We never knew that was gonna happen.

I mean, I grew up in... invirtually a single-parent home.

Jordan grew upin a single-parent home,

We're both biracial people.He was...

To have the president be you...

was an amazing,amazing experience.

Ironically, ironically,then you became the president.

-Right! -Because,no, because you were...

-you were Obama's, uh, Luther.-Anger translator.

-Yeah, anger translator.-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, and it was interestingto be able to play...

to try to play somebody's id

-and try to playsomebody's emotions -Yeah.

for such a long time,and then to meet the man,

and have... have him say, justlook at you and just be like,

"Uh, you're doing it right."So you know what I mean?

-(laughter)-That's like... You know?

We never thoughtwe'd get that validation.

-That is funny.-To get that validation was,

it's the most amazing thingthat's happened in our career.

What do you thinkhe's-he's feeling right now?

-If I... if I picture Obama,-Mm-hmm.

and you do so wellin thinking of him,

if, like, if he's sitting therewatching TV right now

and you were translating for himand he was going,

"Uh, I can't believethis is happening."

"Well, (bleep),now I wish I was from Kenya!

(laughter)

(applause)

"I mean, I been goingthrough all this bull!

I'll have to go livewith my cousins now in..."

(laughter)

-Oh, man. It's, uh... yeah.-Yeah.

It's tough. We are comedians,though, and so...

-Right. -we have to makethe comedy things after this.

-Yes, yes, yes. Well,-Yeah? You feel you...?

I think I'm just gonna takea real hard turn in a drama.

-(laughter) -Just likeall of us, take a strong...

Like, a real strong...What if we just...

we're sternfor the next four years?

That would bea great protest thing...

It would be just, like,all com... there's no comedy.

It was not 9/11that killed comedy,

-it was this election. Yeah.-Yes, it was Donald Trump.

-Yes, yes, yes.-Jokes died.

Yeah, the jokes died.

♪ The night the jokes died.

-That's a great song.-Do you like that?

-I like that a lot.-It's a great song.

I just got to writeall the lyrics now,

we'll be in good shape.Um, no, I-I think...

I think what's... one of things,

one of the qualitiesthat we possess,

certainly in regard to satire,is that we have to be able

to look at itin an objective way.

But right nowit's very emotional to us.

And-and... and it's...and I don't have the answer yet

as to how we're gonna...how we're gonna come together

as a country.

Whether or notmy parents voted for Reagan

or agreed with Reagan,like, this guy had a landslide,

so a lot of peoplewere thinking one way.

And here in this country,it's fractured

-right down the middle.-Yep.

-And it's interesting.-It is interesting,

and I don't think anyonereally has the answer.

But thank you for being here,my friend.

-It's a pleasure to be here.-I really appreciate

-Thank you for being here.-everything you've done.

We are live and, uh, that isofficially the end of our show.

Uh, the results are notfully tabulated yet, Roy.

Any good news?

You can smoke weedin Massachusetts.

(laughter, cheering, applause)

I'll take it, man.

Uh, I will take it.

And, uh, suicideis legal in Florida,

so, uh, good times.

That's what it feels like, yeah?

-Yeah, I might go there.-Oh, no, it's weed,

-Yeah, man.-it's weed as well.

There's just weed everywhere.

Yeah, we're gonna need it.

That's why they legalized it.

-(laughter)-Thank you to Roy.

Thank you to you for tuning in.

I will say this-- you know,there's so many thoughts

that we have right now,so many ideas,

we can only waitto see what the result will be.

I will say this-- from chattingwith some of the people here,

and from seeing the audienceand from feeling

maybe what you're feelingat home,

you can be dejected,you can be sad,

but I will say this--don't let it turn into fear,

because that is the thingthat Donald Trump has used

to get his side to do something

that theynever should have done.

So stay strong, stay positive.

And that's our show for tonight.

Stay tuned for @midnight coming up next.

Now here it is,Your Moment of Zen.

-♪ -(cheering, applause)