Wednesday, November 6, 2013

  • 11/06/2013

Jason Sklar, Randy Sklar and Ron Funches mourn the loss of Blockbuster and reveal items that they would give away for free on Craigslist.

RANDY SKLAR.

IT'S TIME FOR TONIGHT'S HASHTAG HASHTAG

WARS.

I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU A HASHTAG

AND 60 SECRETARY SECONDS ON THE

CLOCK AND YOU WILL BUZZ IN WITH

AS MANY TWEETS CAUSE AND 100

POINTS FOR EACH CORRECT EXAMPLE.

AS AN IN MEMORIAL TRIBUTE TO

BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO, GUYS, THE

HASHTAG IS FAILED BUSINESSES.

EXAMPLES OF FAILED BUSINESSES

MIGHT BE, BROWN JULIUS.

OR RELAX THE FRONT.

SO THOSE OF YOU GUYS CAN PLAY AT

HOME ALONG WITH @MIDNIGHT.

JASON.

>> JAWMA JEWS.

>> COULD I HAVE A LITTLE PROTEIN

IN THERE?

>> YES, YOU CAN.

>> RANDY.

>> FOREVER 61.

>> YES, FOREVER 61.

WELL PLAYED.

RON FUNCHES.

>> 50 PEW.

>> IS IT BAD THAT I WANT THAT?

>> PAULA DEEN'S CRACKENER A

BARREL.

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE ).

>> I CAN SEE THAT.

JASON.

>> BED, BATH, AND BENEATH.

>> YEAH, OKAY.

NO?

THE CROWD WASN'T WITH YOU ON

THAT ONE.

NO POINTS, NO POINTS.

NEXT ONE.

RANDY.

>> SIZZLER.

THAT WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA,

TERRIBLE IDEA.

>> POINTS, POINT.

JASON.

>> JERRY SANDUSKY'S DISCOVERY

ZONE.

YOU GET POINTS.

RON FUNCHES.

>> SONGS FOR SENIORS.

>> WHICH YOU CAN GET AT FOREVER

( BLEEP ) AROUND ON THE

INTERNET.

>> I LOVE IT.

>> ALL RIGHT, GUYS, IT IS TIME

TO PLAY "ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

OKAY.

THE WORST ROOM IS A TUMBLR THAT

CHRONICLES THE PERILS OF FINDING

A BIG CITY APARTMENT HAVE A

CRAIGSLIST.

I SAID AFFORDABLE, NOT NIERKS

LIVABLE.

I WILL SHOW YOU A PHOTO OF AN

APARTMENT AND YOU NEED TO COME

UP WITH A BETTER TAG LINE TO

SELL THIS APARTMENT TO SOMEONE

THAN THE ONE THAT'S ON THADE.

HERE'S THE FIRST ONE.

SHARED BASEMENT, SHARED

BASEMENT.

WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED THAN THIS?

A DIVIDER AND A TENT AND A

TELEVISION.

RON FUNCHES.

>> ARE YOU A RUGGED INDOORSMAN?

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE ).

>> I LOVE IT.

I LOVE IT.

>> I THINK YOU WOULD HAVE TO BE

RUGGED FOR WHATEVER THAT LIVING

SITUATION IS.

>> LOOK AT HOW SAD THE OCCUPY

MOVEMENT HAS BECOME.

>> IT'S GONE AROUND--

>> NEXT ONE, NEXT ONE, 750 A

MONTH.

IT'S A PLATFORM IN SOME TYPE OF

A FREIGHT GARAGE.

LONG-TERM ONLY!

RON FUNCHES.

>> WHY HAVE AN APARTMENT WHEN

YOU CAN HAVE A DUPLEX?

>> OH, YOU ARE GOOD!

( APPLAUSE )

YOU SHOULD GO INTO REAL ESTATE,

MY FRIEND.

>> I DON'T KNOW WHY, I JUST HAD

TO READ THIS IN SOME KIND OF

WEIRD ACCENT-- LONG-TERM, ONLY!

>> CAN I HAVE IT FOR SHORT TERM.

>> NO, NO, LONG TERM ONLY.

YOU LIVE ON PLATFORM FOREVER!

I BURY YOU YOU ON THE PLATFORM!

( APPLAUSE )

HERE'S THE NEXT ONE FOR 675 A

MONTH.

BRING LADDER.

B.Y.O.L., GUYS.

B.Y.O.L.

HERE'S THE-- LET'S JUST SAY

THAT'S A MANNEQUIN.

LET'S JUST SAY THAT'S A HALF A

MANNEQUIN.

RANDY?

>> MY QUESTION WAS DOES TED

WILLIAMS' FROZEN TORSO ALSO COME

WITH IT.

>> THAT'S ON THE OTHER LEVEL.

THAT'S WHY YOU NEED THE LADDER.

>> THE OTHER TITLE WOULD BE

EAT-IN BATHROOM AND HAUNTED

BIDET.

>> POINTS, POINTS!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> I LIKE IT.

>> ALL RIGHT.

OKAY, HERE'S THE NEXT ONE, FOR

750 A MONTH, WALLS WILL BE

REPAINTED WHITE BEFORE YOU MOVE

IN.

NO WINDOWS.

NO WINDOWS.

RON FUNCHES.

>> 420 FRIENDLY.

BUT ACID REQUIRED.

>> POINTS!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'D WANT TO

PAINT OVER THAT.

YOU COULD TOTALLY-- IF YOU'RE

TRYING TO FIND THE ZODIAC

KILLER--

>> IT'S ALL RIGHT THERE.

>> IT'S ALL RIGHT THERE.

>> COME LIVE WHERE KEITH HERRING

DIED.

>> IT'S RIGHT THERE.

>> IT'S RIGHT THERE.

>> AS WE JUMP TO JOSE CANSECO.

HUGS OR HATES?

JOSE CANSECO AS MANY OF YOU KNOW

IS A RETIRED MAJOR LEAGUE

BASEBALL PLAYER WHO HAS AN

OPINION ABOUT PRETTY MUCH

ANYTHING ON TWITTER.

IF YOU'RE NOT FOLLOWING HIM, YOU

ARE MISSING OUT.

FOR 250 POINTS, I'M GOING TO

NAME A PERSON OR TOPIC AND

YOU'RE GOING TO SAY WHETHER JOSE

GIVES IT LOVE, WHICH YOU SAY

HUGS, OR HE DOES NOT LIKE IT,

YOU SAY HATE.

AL GORE, HUGS OR HATES?

>> I'M GOING TO SAY HATE.

>> LET'S FIND OUT.

I THINK IT'S ACTUALLY HUGS.

HUGS.

AL GORE WAS HAEFD HIS TIME.

I MISS HIM.

REST IN PEACE, BUDDY.

HUGS FOR YOU.

IN THIS CASE--

>> IS HE DEAD?

>> IN THIS CASE, SOMETIMES

JOSE'S BRAIN FIRES, AND HE

DOESN'T KNOW-- SO HE WAS

CONVINCED THAT GORE WAS DEAD.

BUT THERE WAS A FOLLOW-UP TWEET.

"SORRY AL, YOU NEED TO MAKE SOME

MORE NOISE, BRO.

KEEP FIGHTING FOR US."

>> IT'S A WAKE-UP CALL FOR AL

GORE.

>> IF SOMEONE DOESN'T TWEET FOR

A DAY THEY'RE DEAD FOR ME.

THAT'S JOSE CANSECO.

>> IN BASEBALL HE CALLED THAT

CHIN MUSIC.

YOU GOTTA WAKE UP OFF-- I GET

ALL MY NEWS FROM JOSE CANSECO.

>> ALL OF IT.

ALL RIGHT, NEXT ONE, GLOBAL

WARMING.

HUGS OR HATES?

RON FUNCHES?

>> I'M GOING TO SAY HE HAS LOVE

FOR IT.

HUGS.

>> ARE YOU RIGHT!

HE LOVES GLOBAL WARMING.

HERE WE GO.

"TITANIC," 100 YEARS, WOW.

GLOBAL WARMING COULD HAVE SAVED

"TITANIC."

SAD TO SAY.

COULD HAVE SAVED IT.

>> WOULD HAVE MADE IT A BETTER

MOVIE, TOO.

>> SERIOUSLY.

>> A BEACH BALL POPPING OUT

THERE.

>> NEXT ONE, NEXT ONE, A-ROD,

HOW DOES FEEFL ABOUT A-ROD?

RANDY.

>> HE HATES A-ROD.

>> HAPPY BIRTHDAY BITCH.

>> WELCOME BACK TO "@MIDNIGHT."

BEFORE THE BREAK, I SHOWED OUR

COMEDIANS THIS SCREEN GRAB FROM

THE FRONT PAGE OF FOX NEWS' WEB

SITE YESTERDAY WHICH HAD THIS

PLACE HOLDER WEEEEE.

AND THE STORY TITLE IN THE BODY

OF THE ARTICLE WAS STUFF, " WHY

O.

>> THAT'S SO FOX NEWS, RIGHT.

MORE FOX THAN FRIENDS.

VERY FOX NEWS.

>> YOU GUYS WRITE THE FIRST LINE

OF THE NEWS STORY THAT STARTS

WITH WEEEEE!

STUFF, " WHY O.

WHAT DID YOU COME UP WITH, RANDY

SKLAR.

>> I CALM UP WITH OBAMA FORCES

BABY TO DRIVE A CAR.

>> IT IS FOX NEWS.

IT IS FOX NEWS.

>> YOU KNOW THEY'RE TRYING TO

GET IN THERE.

>> THE BABY DIDN'T WANT TO AND

OBAMA IS LIKE, "YES YOU CAN."

JASON?

>> I DID PUBLICITY STUNT FOR BAD

GRANDPA GOES HORRIBLY WRONG,

" WHY O.

YO.

>> RON FUNCHES.

>> I HAD YOUNG NEW MEXICAN MAN'S

FIRST WORDS AFTER ESCAPING

NEO-NAZI.

>> WELL DONE!

>> IT'S TIME FOR THE FINAL SPEED

GAME.

THIS IS CRAIGSLIST FREE ITEMS.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

IF YOU CAN'T SELL YOUR STUFF ON

E-BAY, GO TO CRAIGSLIST.

THEY'LL TAKE IT OFF.

IF YOU CAN'T SELL IT ON

CRAIGSLIST, YOU HAVE TO GIVE IT

AWAY FOR FREE ON CRAIGSLIST.

BASICALLY THESE ITEMS ARE REALLY

( BLEEP ).

I WANT YOU TO NAME AS MANY FREE

ITEMS AS YOU WOULD GIVE AWAY ON

CRAIK, AS MANY WEIRD FREE ITEMS

YOU CAN THINK OF AND FOR EACH

FUNNY ONE YOU GET 250 POINTS.

60 SECONDS ON THE CLOCK.

JASON.

>> CHINESE BABY GIRL.

CHINA ONLY.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU KNOW WHAT?

IF YOU'RE OFFENDED, IT'S YOUR

FAULT.

YOU LAUGHED.

POINTS!

THEY MADE THAT FOR YOU.

RANDY.

>> RIP TAILOR'S TAX RETURNS--

SHREDDED, OF COURSE.

>> POINTS!

RON FUNCHES.

>> WHITE POWER AFRO PICK.

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE ).

>> YEAH!

BECAUSE NO ONE EVER IMAGINES

WHAT THE WHITE FOLKS ARE GOING

TO DO WITH THEIR AFRO PICKS.

>> SIEWNS BOYLE'S DIAPHRAGM.

IT'S BARELY BEEN USED.

BARELY BEEN USED.

>> POINTS!

YES, RON FUNCHES.

>> COMPLETE SET OF BEANIE BABIES

THAT TURNED AGAINST ME.

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

>> POINTS!

YES, RANDY.

>> A HAND JOB FROM A LABRADOODLE

WITH VERY SOFT PAWS.

( BUZZER ).

Loading...