August 10, 2016 - Deshauna Barber

  • 08/10/2016

President Obama commutes 214 prison sentences, and Larry discusses Donald Trump's inflammatory Second Amendment comments with Deshauna Barber, Jordan Carlos and Grace Parra.

Thank you very much.Thank you very much.

So kind. Oh!

Welcome to The Nightly Show.

Please have a seat.Please... Thank you.

-Thank you very much.Thank you. -MAN: Larry!

Yes, I am Larry Wilmore.Thanks, man, I appreciate that.

He tried. "Larry...Nobody else is saying it."

I am Larry Wilmore.By the way, Miss USA,

Deshauna Barber,joins us on the panel tonight.

(cheering, applause)

USA! USA! USA.

Okay, tonight I wantto dedicate this first act

to talking about a subjectthat I don't think

we pay enough attention to

because of the crazinessof our world.

I'm talking about wildlife.

Now, it's upon us to be stewardsof these creatures

who really have no...

I'm just kidding.We're talking about Trump.

-(cheering, applause)-Come on, guys.

It's Trump.

All right,roll the Unblackening.

(roaring)

(roaring)

So wrong, so wrong.

Okay, funny story--

couple weeks ago,we were all saying,

"Man, Trump just criticizedthe family of a fallen soldier?

"What?

There's no way he could doanything worse than this."

He did.

Hillary wants to abolish,essentially abolish,

the Second Amendment.

If she gets to pick her judges--

nothing you can do, folks.

(crowd clamoring)

Although, the Second Amendmentpeople, maybe there is.

I don't know.

AUDIENCE:Ooh.

Yup, that's right. Donald Trumpnot so subtly hinting

that gun rights activistsshould "do something"

about Hillary Clinton.Really? You're joking about

your political opponentbeing whacked.

Okay, guys,I used to think rational,

well-intentioned people could beon opposite sides of the aisle

and intelligen...intelligently debate the merits

of both governing philosophies.But you know what?

At this point,if you vote for Trump,

you're just a dick.Seriously.

(cheering, applause)

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.I'm sorry.

I hope you get destroyedby a horse-sized duck.

How about that?

(cheering, applause)

How about that?

That's all I'm saying.

No, horrible thing to say.

It's an inside joke.I apologize.

No, because there'sno possible way

this can bemisinterpreted, right?

Okay, let's hear from Trump's

chief spokesgoblin,Katrina Pierson...

and join meas I watch in amazement

as the (bleep)pours out of her mouth.

Mr. Trump was sayingexactly what he said.

He was talking aboutHillary Clinton and gun control.

But, Katrina,he was talking about

what Second Amendment activistscould do

to stop her if she won.

PIERSON:Well, no, that's-that's actually

not what he was talking about.

Okay, let me stop youright there. (bleep) you.

That is what he wastalking about.

I don't care how convolutedyour explanation is.

We're not stupid.We can hear.

Stop trying to explain him away.

But it wasn't just her tryingto force-feed us this turd taco.

You're treatingMr. Trump's words like he is

the most articulate personwho's ever graced our ears

with his words,and-and that is not true.

But... So, let's say thathe was an-an English professor

with a PhD in-in grammar.

Okay...

First of all,

you can't get a PhD in a subject

that's taughtin the fifth grade, okay?

Okay? Okay...

That's like gettinga bachelors of science

in kickball or something, right?

And, second, just to be clear,

your argument is that Trumpis so incoherent

he can't be held accountable

when his words mightconstitute a federal crime.

And, of course, what defenseof Trump would be complete

without the human embodimentof impotent rage himself,

Rudy Giuliani?

You know how speeches go.He was talking about

how they have the powerto keep her out of office.

The first time that any of ushad any idea that

that is way it was interpreted

is when the Clinton spin machineinterpreted it that way.

The Clinton spin machinespun it out.

Clinton spin machine?

That sounds like a lineBill would have used

in the '90s, right?

"Hey, you want to ridethe Clinton spin machine?"

Right? I'm just sayin'.I'm just sayin'.

-Sounds like it.-(cheering, applause)

But...

It's... We're maybedoing those jokes

for the next eight years.That's really sad, right?

But once again, it's acting likewe can't hear something.

Like he's blaming us for hearingexactly what Trump said.

Here's what gets me about this,okay? Giuliani is...

he's here diminishing the powerof Trump's words,

but he's not alwaysso calm about language.

We've had, from on top,

a lot of divisiveness anda lot of anti-police rhetoric.

There's a targeton police officers' backs

is because of groupslike Black Lives Matter

that make it seem likeall police are against blacks.

Okay, so when Trump callsfor the violent death

of his opposition,that's just Clinton spin.

But whenit's Black Lives Matter,

they're literally killing people

with the power of their"hypnotizing Negro language."

Look, the difference betweena random protester

and someone running to bethe leader of the free world

is that once you're president,everything you say has meaning.

I'll-I'll show youhow this works.

Okay, look,here at The Nightly Show,

I-I mean, I'm the boss, right?

I'm kind of "the president"of this show, if you will.

Right? You know what I mean.Okay, now, look,

Rory Albaneseis my executive producer.

Oh, hey. What's up, Larry?Hey, great show so far, boss.

Thanks, Rory.I appreciate that, man.

-Killing it, killing it.-Now, I might be a little upset

at Rory one day, just talkingoff the top of my head,

"Man, I can't stand Rory.

Sometimes I wish somebodywould just make him go away."

Now, because I'm the bossand I have influence,

-those words mean something.-(Albanese yelling)

Oh, my God, what...what-what's going on?

Holly, what the hellare you doing?!

-What the hell are you doing,Holly?! -Holly!

(Albanese yelling)

Larry said you needed to die!

What the hell?! Stop it!

-Stop it!-(grunting)

Holly, Holly! Leave him alone!

It was just words!

-Oh.-(groans)

-Oh, oh, I'm sorry.-Yes.

I, uh...Your words are so powerful.

Thank you. Thank you.

-You know, I was influenced.-Exactly.

-Yeah. -Well, you know what,Holly, when you put it that way,

-actually, it's fair.What you did is fair. -Oh.

(applause)

Good job, guys! Good job.

That's the power of my words,and I'm on basic cable.

So I don't care how muchthey try to spin this--

stop being so carelesswith your language. All right.

Okay, hereto explain himself...

(chuckles)

Here to explain himself--that's right-- is Donald Trump.

(cheering and applause)

All right. Okay.

Thanks for coming, uh...thanks for coming, Donald.

Now, I have to ask you directly,

did youor did you not basically call

for the assassinationof Hillary Clinton yesterday?

Look, come on, Larry,look, did I "use"

the word "assassination"?I mean, no, I mean, come on.

I just said there was somethingpeople who believe in,

you know, the good amendment,the-the one, uh,

with the guns...

The Second Amendment?

Oh, God, leave it to a blackto know everything about guns.

-I mean, come on.-What the (bleep)?

So unbelievably typical, okay?

I just said there was somethingpeople who believe

-in the Second Amendmentcould do, okay-- -Uh-huh.

get out to vote, write letters,or do whateverly...

heavily armed, angry mobs do,okay? Whatever that is, okay?

-It's a free country, no thanksto Obama, okay? -Tha...

But I'm supposed to guesswhat they're gonna do?

-Come on. I mean, give mea break. -I feel... Look,

I feel you knowexactly what you meant,

and my fear is that they knewexactly what you meant.

Come on, look, it was a joke.

I mean, I get it.You don't know what a joke is.

Believe me, I've watchedthis show. It's awful, okay?

It's a complete disaster.

-But, uh, I am an entertainer,okay? -Really?

So, look, I'll actually writea joke right now.

Watch this.It's gonna be hilarious.

Here we go.(clears throat)

Knock, knock.

-Oh, God.-Knock, knock.

-Fine. Who's there? -Excuse me,don't interrupt, okay?

What? You said "knock, knock."

I want an answer, Donald.Did you or did you not

basically callfor the assassination

-of Hillary Clinton?-You know what, I don't need

-to answer that, Larry.I really don't, okay? -Please...

Matter of fact, I'm tiredof this political correctness

in America today.Back in the day,

a politiciancould actually straight-up shoot

a political rival,and I know because I saw that

in Black Hamilton okay?

Black Hamilton?

Wait, first of all, it'sjust called Hamilton, all right?

And that's your takeaway,

that we'retoo politically correct today

and we should be shooting peoplewe disagree with?

-God, that would be great,right? Unbelievable. -No!

Look, but don't put wordsin my mouth, Larry, okay?

-I'm only joking orI'm improperly implying -I'm...

or saying one thingwhile meaning another.

It's called being entertaining,okay?

Okay, fine. Well,when are you gonna stop trying

to be entertaining andstart trying to be presidential?

When I become president, okay?

That way, whatever I dois gonna be presidential, okay?

-Stupid question.-All right, Donald...

Donald Trump, everyone.We'll be right back.

-♪ -(cheering and applause)

Welcome back.

President Obama recentlyshortened the sentences

of 214 federal inmates,

mostly non-violentdrug offenders

who are predominantlyAfrican-American.

It's part of his effort

to reduce America'sprison population,

reform sentencing laws,

and-- I don't know--maybe scare a few white people.

(laughing):I have no idea.

But our conspiracy expert,Mike Yard, thinks

there's more to thisthan meets the eye,

which meansit's time for The Y Files.

-♪ -(cheers and applause)

So, so, Mike, aren't you happythat those inmates,

most of whom are black men,can finally get out of jail?

(imitates alarm blaring)

Time to wake up,Unawarey Wilmore!

Okay, freedom ain't free,my brother.

The president's not doing thisfor justice.

Obama is freeingthe prisoners...

to make his own suicide squad!

-(laughter)-Drink it in, my brother.

Chug-a-lug.

Why the hell does the presidentneed a suicide squad?

That is his wayto get a third term, Larry!

(laughter)

I'm waiting...for you to go, "Pfff!"

Mike, President Obama is goingto create a suicide squad

to get a third term.

How does that make sense?

Larry, how else do youexplain... Donald Trump?

(laughter)

That does not explainDonald Trump.

There are thousands of ways

to explain Donald Trump,but that is not...

Okay, Mike, okay, Mike,how are you going

to put all this together?Please tell me.

You know what?You win the gold medal

-in the Schmolympics,my brother, okay? -(laughter)

The president has busted his assfor eight years.

He's not ready to go.

Okay, so he runs Donald Trumpas a Manchurian candidate,

a bogus optionto distract the masses.

-Huh.-You see what's happening.

Then, he releasesthe black convicts--

his suicide squad--on one condition--

they steal the constitution,and edit it,

so that Obama can havea third term,

put it back, he runs again.

People are like,"You can't do that!

That's unconstitutional!"

He goes, "Uh, have you readthe constitution lately?"

(laughter)

"Because now it says,yes, I can!"

-Boom!-(laughter)

-(cheers and applause)-No.

Are you seeing it?

Mike, that is absolutely nuts.

Oh, my God.

Look, I can't stand Trump,but there's no way in hell

that Barack Obama is creatingthis level of national chaos

so he can edit the constitutionto stay in office!

Oh, okay, okay, I see how it is.

You meet the president one time,call him your nigga...

-Wait. No. No. -...soyou're an expert now. Okay.

-(laughter)-Mike, no, no, no. -Okay.

Please don't bring that up,Mike. No, no, no.

No, no, no. I'm saying

your theory makes absolutelyno sense,

but I knowyou're going to try anyway.

You know what? Pull the barall the way down, my brother,

-'cause you're in for the rideof your life. -Okay, fine.

-Go ahead.-Shortening prison sentences.

Sentences, nouns and verbs.

Verbs are action words.Action comics.

Suicide squad.Criminals with nothing to lose.

D.C. Comics. D.C.

Obama, who killed bin Laden.

Plunged into the sea.Nestea plunge.

Iced tea. Ice T. Law and Order.

Who's the law-and-ordercandidate?

Donald J. Trump.

(laughter, applauseand cheering)

No. No way.

-The anti-Reagan.-No. No.

The anti-Reagan.

Who's Reagan's chief of staff.my brother?

James Baker, the Third.

Third-term president. What?

What? -(laughter)

Mike, I don't even knowwhat to say about all that.

-I mean.. -I know, right?It's pretty airtight, isn't it?

-No, it is not.It is not airtight. -(laughter)

-But you know what, Larry?-What?

This is all just a smokescreen

for what I really wantto talk about, man.

-What is that? -That isthat Pharrell Williams...

is an immortal vampire.

(laughter)

WILMORE:Okay, now that

-I actually believe.-Uh-huh.

-Mike Yard, everybody!-Brother never gets old.

We'll be right back. That...

-(cheers and applause)-Yeah.

Welcome back.I'm here with my panel.

First up, Nightly Show contributor Jordan Carlos.

(cheering, applause)

And Nightly Show contributorGrace Parra.

(cheering, applause)

And not only is shethe current Miss USA,

she's the first womanactively serving

in the United StatesArmy Reserve to win the title,

Deshauna Barber.

-CARLOS: Yeah.-(cheering, applause)

And for everyone at home,join our conversation right now

on Twitter @NightlyShowusing the hashtag #Tonightly.

Okay. So yesterdayTrump basically suggested

the assassinationof Hillary Clinton.

Please take a look.

Hillary wants to abolish,essentially abolish...

-the Second Amendment.-(booing)

If she getsto pick her judges...

nothing you can do, folks.

-(indistinct shouts) -Althoughthe Second Amendment people,

maybe there is, I don't know.

They cut off the guy in the roomwho was like, "Oh, (bleep)."

(laughter)

Okay, I'm trying real hardon this, I'm trying real hard.

Is there any possibilitythat he meant something else?

-Any possibility.-If he's saying these things

and then we're justalways giving him, like,

the benefit of the doubt,it's unbelievable.

I mean, it feels likeat this point he's almost, like,

crowd-sourcing violencea little bit, you know?

-Yeah. -He's like, "I don't...hey, if you want to do it,

"whatever, you know,you want to kill her, whatever,

I... (bleep), but..."

You know, reality ishe has a lot of supporters,

and I'm sure there's a couple...out there

that a couples screws are loose,so you never know

if they'regonna take it literally.

-I hope they don't.-Uh-huh.

Because you're basically talkingabout assassinating someone.

-Absolutely.-Uh-huh.

He's, I mean, he'sabsolutely opened that door,

-Yeah. -so we can muse about,like, killing leaders,

which is insane, because I wouldnever want Trump to be killed,

but, like, maimed by a Zamboniwould be cool.

-PARRA: Fine.-(laughter)

-Something like that, you know?Like... -Right.

-Yeah.-I mean, just... for the story.

-Yeah. -I know, 'cause we can'teven really make that joke.

I remember I said something likethat at the end of the show,

and I said, "Oh, (bleep), did Ijust say we should kill Trump?

No, no, no!"Like, I felt bad about it,

'cause I didn't wantto get that out, but, uh...

I heard someone on the news say,well, the problem is,

an unstable personcould hear this

and they might do something,but isn't Trump

the unstable onein this equation?

-(cheering, applause)-Well, you know, he...

Here's the thing, he is one of the unstable people,

but the reality isso many people voted for him

in the primary, more thanany other presidential nominee

-in GOP history.-Right.

13.3 million people votedfor him in the primary.

Well, you knowwhat's crazy is that

I understand when people saythe anger,

and a lot of people are angryabout the system,

and a lot of Republicansare just mad at Republicans.

-Mm-hmm. -Mm-hmm.-I think a lot of Trump vote

was protest vote.But at this point...

-You know?-Yeah, stop joking.

When he says all that stuff.Like, when you see Republicans

-jumping off ship...-Yeah, yeah.

you know, and jumpingonto the Titanic,

-Right. -Yes, yes.'Cause at first you think

everyone's playing and thatthis isn't gonna play out.

At the beginning, whenhe first entered as a nominee,

or whatever, I was very, like,he's not gonna make it far.

And now it's getting so serious,and it's like, okay,

everyone needs to just...It's a reality right now.

-It's a reality. -Do youthink he's setting us up?

-Do you think he's gonna quit?-CARLOS: Gonna quit? -No.

-No, he loves to win.He said, he's like, -Mm-hmm.

"I'm winning, I'm winning,I'm winning, I love winning."

-Now...-(laughter)

-He says that.-But once he thinks he's losing,

is he gonna be like, "I'm takingmy ball and I'm going home"?

I feel like he would give up...he would give up

-the presidency once he got it.Like... -You think so?

Absolutely. He'd be like,"Mike Pence, take care of it.

I'm going to the Caribbean."

-You know? He puts...-I'm going to Mar-a-Lago.

Yeah, I'm going to Mar-a-Lago.And that's-that's...

that's what I think.I think he's a careless person.

I think, you know, and, like,he leaves others

to clean up the mess,you know what I'm saying?

Like, like, all his subordinatesthat are like,

"The dog didn't really (bleep)on the rug.

What had happened was..."You know what I mean?

BARBER: The Katrina Piersonsof the world.

The Katrina Piersonsof the world.

And they have to, like,clean up this mess overnight.

-So he's a job creator.-I know.

He likes the power.He wants the power.

I think he's gonna stayin presidency, personally.

I think he likes the power.He likes everyone listening.

He's already kind of intimatedhe would outsource it, right?

Like when they were tryingto get Kasich to run.

I'll let you doall the presidentin'.

PARRA: Yeah. Yeah. Just wantsto, yeah, just take photos

and eat barbecuewith a knife and a fork.

But some... here's the thing,now y-you're, uh...

have you spent timein North Carolina?

Are you from North Carolina?

-I have.-Okay.

I spent a lot ofmy childhood in North Carolina.

-Okay, okay, so I wanted to askyou this -Ooh.

-because here's whatI don't understand. -(laughs)

I mean, look, a lot of theperceptions of Hillary Clinton

are just hard to decipher, butthis one is the funniest one.

41% of North Carolina Trumpsupporters, of Trump supporters,

think Hillary Clinton is literally the Devil.

-PARRA: Oh, my God. -(laughter)

-Okay, now the key word thereis "literally." -Yeah.

-Yeah, yeah.-What's up with that?

Man, what a bad representationof North Carolina.

-WILMORE: Literally.-Oh, my God.

-Don't feel bad.-Okay, you know...

Not "She acts like the Devil."No, she's Satan.

She's literally Satan.

Yeah, and I spent a lot of time

in North Carolinathroughout my childhood.

My mother still lives there.

I have no idea who they weretalking to in North Carolina.

I really don't know.

And what is their definition ofbeing a devil is my question.

Like, what-what isthat definition?

'Cause I thinkit's pretty extreme.

I-I love the fact thata woman can be the Devil,

but a female president,we're not ready!

-Yeah.-We're not ready for it!

Maybe one in the future,but not this one!

(laughter)

BARBER:Yeah.

Is there... is there, God,is there a chance that Hillary

can blow this at this pointwith Trump doing all this?

I mean, look at this,there's so much negative stuff

that's been coming out thatpeople are kind of ignoring

(laughing): because he sayshe wants to shoot her.

CARLOS:Yeah, I-I don't think...

That's what's amazing.

Like all of this stuffabout The Clinton Foundation

-and all these things.-BARBER AND CARLOS: Yeah.

Like, it seems likethey're both trying

-to just give it to each other,right? -CARLOS: Yeah.

That-that, I mean,something could come out.

You know what I mean?He won't... I mean,

his-his poll numbersare dipping,

and, I'm-I'm like, every night

I'm like, "Please, God,let them go lower."

-You know, but...-(laughter)

He-he comes backlike the T-1000.

-Do you know what I'm saying?-WILMORE: Right.

Like, from Terminator. It's like...

(imitates"The Terminator Theme")

You're like, "Fudge!"

But, um, I-I really...

-So, we need to find a smeltingplant again. -WILMORE: Yes.

Uh, to... to maim him

-hilaric... hilariously.-WILMORE: Yeah.

Um, I-I just think he-- like, Idon't think he's gonna give up.

I think that something elsein Clinton...

in Clinton world might come out.

Do you think his numbers are

gonna keep going downafter this?

-CARLOS: They might bounce.-PARRA: Yeah.

Or are people gonna forgetagain 'cause...

I don't know, his supportersreally support him,

-clearly, so, but, yeah.-They love him.

They-they don't careabout anything else, right?

I don't think there's anythinghe can say or do wrong.

Yeah, no one's gonna go toa Trump rally and just be like,

uh, you know, go in therea Trump supporter

and then be like,"Well, he said that?

-I'm leaving." Like...-BARBER: Yeah.

At this point,you're-you're balls deep,

-at this point with Trump.-Yes.

-BARBER: 'Cause even the guyyou mentioned... -Balls deep.

-(laughter)-If you're for Trump,

-you are balls deep in him.-I was, I was waiting

for that to be heard.

We are now balls deepwith our candidates, yes, um...

-But-but yeah...-But even the guy

that you mentionedat the beginning where you said

that he looked shockedafter he said his comment.

He went on the news this morningand said, "I'm still voting.

-I'm still voting for Trump."-PARRA: Yeah, exactly.

-So... you know...-Unbelievable.

PARRA:Yeah.

Like, "Oh, he-he jokedabout shooting Hillary.

He's got my vote."

-(laughter) -PARRA: That's whatthe people...

That's why I think people

-are still stuck with him,by the way. -WILMORE: Uh-huh.

Because he's essentially saying

what they think thatthey want to say.

They're like, "Uh, he'ssaying what's in my brain

-but I'm not ballsy enoughto say it." -WILMORE: Yeah.

They love that.

-People love... people love him.-WILMORE: Yeah.

Yeah, the funniest thing isseeing people like Paul Ryan,

and the people that madethis Faustian deal.

-CARLOS: Oh, my gosh.-PARRA: Oh, God.

It's almost like...I hate to use the gun analogy,

but, like, somebody's holding itto the back of their head.

They're going,

(crying): "Yeah,I'm still voting for him."

It's just sad, man.

-It's really sad.-BARBER: It is.

All right, on that sad note,we'll be right back.

(laughter)

(cheers and applause)

YARD: If you live in the New York City area,

or are planning to visit, grab some free tickets

to attend an upcoming taping of The Nightly Show.

Go to thenightlyshow.com/tickets.