Decision 3012

  • Season 7, Ep 3
  • 06/27/2012

Leela becomes campaign manager for a presidential candidate with a missing birth certificate.

so I will dispensewith the informal terrorizing

and begin the questions.

Is this thepolitical process?

'Cause I'm here toget involved in it.


Question one:will you pledge today

to somehow reduce taxes

while simultaneously loweringthe deficit?

Hey, that's a good idea. Sure.

If it'll win me the election,then yes.

We have a saying up in Alaska.

That's all.

Senator Travers?

Look, let's be honest here.

No one likes taxes, but they payfor our basic needs:

roads, schools, defense.

If we hope to realize ouraspirations as a great planet,

we must each payour fair share

to achieve those noble goals.


Thank you, Senator.

A thoughtful and lucid answer.

You will be destroyed!

(metal clanks)

Is that you, Big Throat?

In the flesh.(giggles)

Listen, I need some dirton Senator Chris Travers.

How quaint.

But I supposeI should do my part

for political intercourse.

Come closer,and I'll expose what I know.

There's nothing.

He's as clean as afreshly waxed buttock.

Hey! Did you put your tonguein my ear?

Certainly not.I don't have a tongue.

Oh, good.'Cause I don't have an ear.

(squirrel chittering)

Come on, come on, fall.

Fall, damn it, fall!

(door opens)

Well? What did youget on Travers?

Is he a draft dodger?Sex offender?

Sex dodger?

Nada. He's clean.

I'm sorry, but there'snot one unusual thing

about Senator ChrisZaxxar Travers.

Wait, wait.His middle name is Zaxxar?

Sounds kind of alien.

The voters hate aliens.

They sure do, but this guy'sas human as you or me.

I don't care what he is.

We'll start a rumorthat he's an alien.

Hey, yeah.That'll cost him votes.

Then, when he says hewas born on this planet,

we make him cough uphis Earth Certificate.

Keep it on the news,put him on the defensive.

Oh, this is sneaky.

I feel a jowl movementcoming on.