June 1, 2015 - Jefferson Davis Day & Dennis Hastert Scandal

  • 06/01/2015

Christiane Amanpour, Jordan Carlos and Christian Finnegan join Larry to discuss American volunteers for ISIS and sex abuse allegations against ex-House Speaker Dennis Hastert.

>> Larry: OH MY.

Audience: LARRY!

Larry: THANK YOU, VERY MUCH.

Audience: LARRY!

Larry: APPRECIATE IT.

PLEASE, PLEASE.

ANOTHER SPONTANEOUS STANDINGOVATION.

WELCOME TO THE NIGHTLY SHOW.

I'M LARRY WILMORE.

WE HAVE A GREAT CROWD.

GREAT SHOW TODAY.

CHRISTIANE AMANPOUR JOINING USON THE PANEL.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Larry: TELL YOU WHAT I TELL

YOU WHAT AMAN POUR HER A DRINKAND ASK HER THOUGHTS ON WORLD

EVENTS.

THAT'S WHAT AMAN-DO.

[LAUGHING]>> Larry: GOT TO GIVE IT A TRY.

ALRIGHT. LET'S START WITHANOTHER

INSTALLMENT OF ONE OF OUR MOSTTRUSTED SEGMENTS.

THAT STATE IS CRAY♪ THAT STATE IS CRAY

>> Larry: VERY GOOD.

TODAY'S CRAY STATE.

ALABAMA.

NOW LOOK IF YOU ARE WONDERINGWHY PEOPLE IN ALABAMA WERE DRUNK

IN THE MIDDLE OF A MONDAYAFTERNOON. THE ANSWER IS

WELL, IT IS ALABAMA.

BUT IF YOU WONDER WHY MOREPEOPLE THEN USUAL WERE DRUNK

IT'S BECAUSE TODAY IS A SACREDALABAMA HOLIDAY.

THE FIRST MONDAY IN JUNE ALABAMACELEBRATES JEFFERSON DAVIS DAY.

DAVIS WAS THE PRESIDENT OF THECONFEDERATE STATES OF AMERICA

RIGHT.

CSA!

CSA!

COME ON.

[BOOING]>> Larry: YOU GUYS.

LET ME JUST SAY THERE ARE TWOTHINGS THAT BOTHER ME ABOUT

SLAVERY.

NUMBER ONE --[LAUGHING]

>> Larry: THE SLAVERY PART.

95% IN THAT POT THERE.

ALRIGHT.

THE OTHER 5%, PEOPLE NOTACKNOWLEDGING THAT IT WAS A

MISTAKE.

ALRIGHT.

I MEAN, EVEN GERMANY HAS A POLLAPOLOGIZED FOR THE HOLOCAUST BY

THE WAY. WHICH IS

THE ULTIMATE BAD THINGEVERYTHING ELSE IS COMPARED TO

AND NEVER MEASURES UP EXCEPT FORPOSSIBLY SLAVERY.

MANY SOUTHERNERS STILL YEARN FORTHE DAYS OF CONFEDERACY.

I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU GUYS AREALWAYS CLAIMING YOUR LOVE FOR

AMERICA AND THEN YEARNING FORTHE DAYS WHEN YOU WEREN'T A PART

OF IT. TELL YOU WHAT, LET MEBREAK IT DOWN, ALABAMA.

YOU GUYS ARE CELEBRATING A DAYTO HONOR JEFFERSON DAVIS.

THE PRESIDENT OF A COUNTRY THAT WAS AT WAR WITH THE UNITED

STATES.

A WAR THAT WAS FOUGHT SO YOUCOULD KEEP SLAVES.

THEN YOU WANT TO GET FUZZY ANDNOSTALGIC ABOUT IT.

AT THE "NIGHTLY SHOW" WE'RESUPPOSE TO ACT LIKE IT'S NOT

GOING ON?

REMEMBER THAT WAR WE FOUGHT TOKEEP THE SLAVES.

MAN THOSE WERE GOOD TIMES.

NO, THEY WERE NOT.

STOP IT.

STOP IT.

STOP IT.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]THEY WEREN'T.

THEY WERE NOT GOOD TIMES. LOOKTHE ONLY GOOD TIMES

YOU SHOULD ASSOCIATE WITH BLACKPEOPLE DOWN

ON THEIR LUCK IS THE SHOW "GOODTIMES" OTHER THAN YOU CRAY.

WHICH IS THE OPPOSITE OFDYNAMITE BY THE WAY.

OKAY.

TOP STORY, HASTERT MAYBE APEDOPHILE.

[LAUGHING]>> Larry: FOR THOSE WHO DON'T

KNOW DENNIS HASTERT WAS THESPEAKER OF THE HOUSE.

THE THIRD MOST POWERFUL POSITIONIN THE GOVERNMENT. NOW THERE

IS A STORY OF HIM ALLEGEDLYMOLESTING A MALE STUDENT

AT AN ILLINOIS SCHOOL WHERE HEWAS A WRESTLING COACH. WHICH IS

THE SUBJECT OF THE BLOCKBUSTERFOXCATCHER 2 THE SQUEAKUEL.

YOU WON'T GO CSA, CSA.

BUT YOU LAUGH AT "FOXCATCHER 2".

HE HASN'T BEEN CHARGED WITHSEXUAL ABUSE.

HE'S CHARGED WITH CONCEALINGPAYMENTS AND NAILING TO THE FBI

ABOUT IT LIKE WHEN THEY GOT ALCAPONE FOR TAX EVASION INSTEAD

OF RACKATEERING AND MURDER. ORWHEN THEY GOT MARTHA STEWART

FOR INSIDER TRADING

AND NOT METHDISTRIBUTION AND DOG FIGHTING.

I AM NOT MAKING THAT UP.

HOW MUCH CASH COULD HE OF BEENTHROWING AT THIS PROBLEM?

CONGRESSMAN DON'T MAKE THAT MUCHMONEY.

>> THE FORMER HOUSE SPEAK EARGREED TO PAY $3.5 MILLION IN

2010 TO A PERSON IDENTIFIED ASINDIVIDUAL A IN AN EFFORT TO

COMPENSATE AND CONCEAL HASTERT'SPRIOR MISCONDUCT.

>> Larry: 3.5 MILLION TO CONCEALSEXUAL MISCONDUCT.

THAT'S WHAT THE CATHOLIC CHURCHCALLS A STEAL.

[ APPLAUSE ]>> Larry: OKAY HE AGREED TO PAY

3.5 MILLION.

AGREEING ISN'T GUARANTEEING.

HOW MUCH DID HASTERT ACTUALLYPAY.

>> HASTERT OVER A FOUR YEARPERIOD WITHDREW $1.7 MILLION

FROM A NUMBER OF PERSONAL BANKACCOUNTS TO GIVE INDIVIDUAL A.

>> Larry: ONLY 1.7 MILLION.

WHAT KIND OF EXTORTION LAY AWAYPLAN IS THIS GUY ON.

BLACK MAIL OR RENT -A- CENTER.YOU'RE PROBABLY WONDERING

WHY DOES THIS MATTER? I FEELWE NEED A LITTLE RECAP.

A LITTLE PREVIOUSLY ON DENNYHASTERT TO GIVE YOU THE

HIGHLIGHTS. HIGHLIGHT ONE, WHENBILL CLINTON

GOT IN TROUBLE FOR THE WHOLEPOTUS BEEJ THING

HASTERT WAS ON THE FRONTLINE OFIMPEACHMENT RIGHT.

I'M STILL LAUGHING AT "BEEJTHING"

SORRY.

AT THAT TIME HE SAID THEPRESIDENT'S INABILITY TO ABIDE

BY THE LAW, THE CONSTITUTIONAND

MY CONSCIENCE HAD, YOU KNOW WHATTO CATCH PREDATOR -- I'M NOT

FINISHING THAT.

OKAY.

THANK YOU, VERY MUCH.

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.

NO, TOO LATE.

I UNDERSTAND.

I UNDERSTAND.

OKAY.

HIGHLIGHT NUMBER TWO.

DUDE VOTED AGAINST ANTIGAYMARRIAGE EVERY TIME HE GOT A

CHANCE. IN 2004 HE VOTED YES TOBAN GAY MARRIAGE AND THEN IN

2006 HE VOTED YES ON DEFININGMARRIAGE OF A UNION OF ONE MAN

AND ONE WOMEN. BUT APPARENTLY HEALWAYS DEFINED

WRESTLING AS A UNION BETWEEN ONETEACHER AND ONE STUDENT.

[ APPLAUSE ]>> AND NUMBER 3.

THE MARK FOLEY SCANDAL.

MARK FOLEY THE CONGRESSMAN GOTCAUGHT SEXTING WITH HIS

PAGES.>> JOHN BOEHNER SAYS HE TOLD

>> HASTERT THIS SPRING THATFOLEY HAD A PAGE PROBLEM.

CONGRESSMAN TOM REYNOLDS SAYS HETOLD HASTERT A YEAR AGO

THAT FOLEY HAD A PAGE PROBLEM.AND KIRK FORDHAM, HIS

FORMER CHIEF THE STAFF SAIDHE TOLD HASTERT'S OFFICE ABOUT

IT THREE YEARS AGO.

>> Larry: HASTERT ACTIVELYCOVERED FOR THIS DUDE FOR THREE

YEARS?

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY BIRDS OFA FEATHER GET HAPPY AND MOLESTY

TOGETHER.

NUMBER FOUR, THE PATRIOT ACT.

HASTERT PUSHED THE PATRIOT ACTTHROUGH CONGRESS AFTER 911.

BANKS HAD TO REPORT CASHWITHDRAWALS OF TEN THOUSAND

DOLLARS OR MORE.

TO CATCH TERRORISTS AND IN THISCASE HIMSELF.

ALRIGHT NOW WE'RE CAUGHT UP.

NO MATTER WHAT YOUR POLITICS ITHINK WE CAN AGREE NOBODY CAN BE

SYMPATHETIC TO HASTERT, HE SAIDBEFORE HE SHOWED THE CLIP

FROM FOX NEWS

>> WERE THEY INVESTIGATING THECRIME OR THE FORMER SPEAKER?

>> OBVIOUSLY THERE WAS A DEEPCRIME PAST THE STATUTE OF

LIMITATIONS.

>> NOTHING IS OBVIOUS.

IT'S NOT EVEN FORMALLY ALLEGED.

>> RIGHT.

[BOOING]>> Larry: BAAH FORM -- WHAT ARE

YOU SO ANGRY ABOUT BRIT HUME?

>> -- NO CHARGES WILL BE BROUGHTAGAINST THE PERSON BLACKMAILING

THE FORMER SPEAKER.

WHAT ABOUT THE EXTORTION. AREYOU SAYING THE EXTORTION

SHOULD GO UNPUNISHED ASWELL?

>> Larry: NO, I SAY EXTORTIONISN'T AS BAD AS CHILD MOLESTING.

IT'S JUST NOT AS BAD.

EXTORTION, CHILD MOLESTING.

DING, CHILD MOLESTING.

ROBBING A BANK, CHILD MOLESTING.

CHILD MOLESTING.

CHILD MOSTESTING.

CHILD MOLESTING.

DING DING.

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ? WE NEED TOBE FAIR AND BALANCED -- WE'LL BE

RIGHT BACK.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Larry: THANK YOU.

WELCOME BACK.

I'M HERE WITH MY PANEL.

THANK YOU, VERY MUCH.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Larry: SUCH A GREAT CROWD

HERE TODAY.

NIGHTLY SHOW WRITER AND AS I WASTOLD ALLEGED COMEDIAN.

JORDAN CARLOS.

JORDAN CARLOS HERE TONIGHT.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]COMEDIAN AND VERY FUNNY MAN

CHRISTIAN FINNEGAN IS HERE.

VERY FUNNY.

AND CNNs CHIEF INTERNATIONALCORRESPONDENT AND HOST OF CNN

INTERNATIONAL AS "AMANPOUR"CHRISTIANE AMANPOUR.

[ APPLAUSE ]>> Larry: SO, WE'RE TALKING

ABOUT THE DENNIS HASTERT THINGEARLIER.

IT'S INTERESTING HE'S IN TROUBLEFOR EVERYTHING ABOUT MONEY.

NOTHING ABOUT WHAT I FEEL HEACTUALLY DID.

DOES ANYONE HAVE COMPASSION FORA SEX OFFENDER BEING EXTORTED?

I DON'T.

>> I FEEL BAD FOR WRESTLINGCOACHES.

IT'S LIKE, COME ON WE DON'T HEARTHE JOKES ALREADY.

>> GETTING A BAD WRAP.

>> WHEN YOU LOOK LIKE ME YOUCAN'T TALK ABOUT SAILBOATS.

YOU GET IT.

WHEN YOU LOOK LIKE ME, IN OTHERWORDS A GIRL.

I FEEL VERY, VERY, VERY STRONGLYTHERE SHOULD BE NO TOLERANCE,

ZERO TOLERANCE ALL THE WAY FORANY KIND OF SEXUAL OFFENSE AND

TOWARDS BOYS TOO.

IT'S ZERO TOLERANCE

THERE IS THE IT AND THE POLITICSABOUT THE IT.

>> CHRISTIANE AMANPOUR I'M GOINGOUT ON A LIMB WITH YOU AND

AGREE.

>> THANK YOU, JORDAN.

[ APPLAUSE ]>> TRUTH TO POWER THERE.

>> YES, A RELIEF.

Larry: I DON'T THINK THERESHOULD BE A STATUTE OF

LIMITATION ON THESE CRIMES.

ESPECIALLY WHEN A TEACHERMOLESTS A STUDENT.

IT'S BAD ENOUGH FOR A ADULT TODO IT TO A CHILD.

BUT A TEACHER AND A STUDENT.

DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD HAVESTATUTE OF LIMITATIONS ?

>> NO.

THERE ARE SERIOUS CRIMES WITHOUTSTATUTE OF LIMITATIONS.

I THINK THIS IS A VERY SERIOUSCRIME.

YOU CAN TALK ABOUT THE PRISONPOPULATION.

EVEN WHEN YOU GO TO PRISON A SEXOFFENDER AND PEDOPHILE KNOW THEY

WON'T HAVE A PEACEFUL TIME INPRISON.

IF IT'S BAD AMONG THE WORST OFTHE WORST OFFENDERS THEN --

>> Larry: EXACTLY.

EXACTLY.

>> WELL SAID.

Larry: YOU KNOW WHAT GETS METOO IS WHEN GUYS LIKE THIS OVER

DO THE OTHER THING OFLEGISLATING AGAINST CERTAIN

CRIMES.

SHOULDN'T THAT MAKE USSUSPICIOUS.

CAN WE BELIEVE ANYONE THAT'SREALLY VIGILANT ANYMORE?

>> THIS HAPPENS PRACTICALLYEVERY DAY.

A FANTASTIC AWARD WINNINGJOURNALISM DONE ABOUT GOD'S

HARVEST OR THE PATRICK HENRYCOLLEGE IN VIRGINIA.

IT WAS CREATED SO THAT THE GOODCHRISTIAN GOD FEARING CHILDREN

COULD HAVE A GREAT AND SAFEEDUCATION AND THE GIRLS WOULD BE

SAFE IN A, IN AN ATMOSPHERE OFCOURT SHIP.

>> Larry: I FEEL BAD ABOUT WHEREYOU'RE GOING.

>> -- A LOT OF ASSAULT ANDLITTLE ACCOUNTABILITY.

SO, IT JUST GOES TO SHOW THATTHIS KIND OF HYPOCRISY IS

RAMPANT AND LITTLEACCOUNTABILITY.

>> Larry: IT SEEMS LIKE A SHIELDPEOPLE HAVE TO HIDE BEHIND

THIS ADVOCACY TO GET AWAY WITHWHAT THEY'RE DOING.

>> YES TAKE THE HEAT OFF.

Larry: LIKE ME I RAIL AGAINSTPIE EATING.

THEN THIS PICTURE.

>> OH MY GOD, LARRY .

>> I CAN'T DO IT.

ALL I DO IS TALKING ABOUT PIESMAKING US FAT.

PIES ARE MAKING US FAT.

WHAT AM I DOING?

>> PIE IN YOUR FACE.

Larry: I WANT TO ASK YOU THISQUESTION ABOUT ISIS WE HAVE A

LOT OF ISIS RECRUITING GOING ON.I CAN' T UNDERSTAND

WHY WOULD AMERICAN YOUTH WANT TOJOIN ISIS.

>> IT'S INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT TOUNDERSTAND.

THIS AUDIENCE AND THOSE HEREWOULD UNDERSTAND POWER OF

INTERNET AND SOCIAL MEDIA.

>> Larry: SOCIAL MEDIA.

>> YES, GROOMING ON-LINE.

Larry: REALLY?

>> YES INDEEDY.

THEY HAVE 24/7 BANKS OFRECRUITERS WHO SIT WITH THEIR

COMPUTERS IN TURKEY OR SYRIAWHERE EVERYONE THEY ARE FINDING

PEOPLE AND GROOMING THEMON-LINE.

GROOMING HAPPENS EVERYWHERE.

>> Larry: HIGH-TECH TERRORISM.>> IT IS. THEY'RE USING OUR

>> INVENTIONS AND TECHNOLOGY ANDDEMOCRACY AND

LANGUAGE AND FILM TO DO EXACTLYWHAT THEY WANT TO DO.

THEY'RE VERY CLEVER.

>> THEY USE TECHNOLOGY BUT THEBASELINE APPEAL IS LIFE IS

COMPLICATED.

THERE IS A CAPITOL R ROMANTICQUALITY.

>> Larry: LIFE IS COMPLICATED.JOIN ISIS?

>> YES.

Larry: REALLY.

>> THERE IS A PLACE I HAVE AROLE, I KNOW WHERE TO LIVE AND

WHAT TO DO.

IT'S LIKE I NEED TO GET OUT OFHERE.

LIKE AN EARLY SPRINGSTEENQUALITY

LIKE IT'S A TOWN FOR LOSERS.

I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE TO WIN.

TO MAKE MY LIFE MEAN SOMETHING

>> TERRORISTS IN THE USA.

>> IMAGINE THAT.

THEN THESE GIRLS BEINGRECRUITED.

ALL THESE GIRLS BEINGRECRUITED.

>> Larry: DO THEY UNDERSTAND.

>> THEY DON'T.

THEY ARE GOING OFF INTO A LIFEOF SERVITUDE OF SLAVERY AND

SEX SLAVERY.

THEY THINK THEY'RE GOING OUT TOBE WIVES OF JIHADIS AND

UPHOLDERS OF THE ISLAMICTRADITION THIS.

IS ALL ABOUT THE EXTREME HARDLINE WORST OF THE WORST EXTREME

PART OF WHAT IS A VERY, YOU KNOW DECENT RELIGION

>> Larry: YES.

>> ON TWITTER HOW IS THERE EMOJIGAME.

>> Larry: EMOJI GAME?

>> YEAH, WHAT ARE THEY USING ?THE DANCING LADY.

>> BIG SMILEYS AND MAYBE KNIVES.

I SAY THAT WITHOUT BEING FUNNYEITHER.

THEY ARE.

I HAVE TALKED TO PEOPLE HELD BYTHESE PEOPLE.

COLLEAGUES THAT HAVE BEEN HELDFOR MANY MONTHS INCLUDING BY

THIS GUY JIHAD JOHN.

THE ONE ACCUSED OF SLITTING THETHROAT OF OUR FRIENDS IN THE

DESSERT FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TOSEE.

HE SAID TO ME THIS COLLEAGUEPRESUMABLY THEY PAID A RANSOM

AND GOT OUT.

HE SAID THE FOREIGNERS ARE EVENWORST THAN THE LOCALS.

THEY COME TO SHOW THAT THEY'REMORE ISIS THAN ISIS.

SOME ARE PSYCHOTIC.

SOME ARE JUST VERY VIOLENT.

THEY THINK THEY'RE GOING OUT FORAN ADVENTURE.

IT'S A BLOOD LUST AND A CULT.

>> I FIND IT'S LIKE -- A LOTLIKE WHITE PEOPLE TRYING TO ACT

BLACK.

[LAUGHING]

>> Larry: THEY ALWAYS KEEPIT REAL A LITTLE

EXTRA HARD.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

>> ANYHOW WE WILL BE RIGHT BACKTO TALK MORE ABOUT THIS.

I'M NOT SURE IF THAT'S THE RIGHTANALOGY.

[LAUGHING][CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Larry: OKAY.

WELCOME BACK.

I'M VERY EXCITED.

IT'S TIME FOR THE SEGMENT WECALL "KEEP IT 100".

ALL THE PEOPLE THAT DON'T KNOWTHAT.

IT MEANS TO KEEP IT A HUNDREDPERCENT REAL.

IF YOU DO, YOU GET A STICKER.

LIKE THIS.

IF YOU DON'T I'M GONNA THROWSOME WEAK TEA AT YOUR ASS

LET'S START WITH CHRISTIAN.

YOU'RE GETTING THE SAMEQUESTIONS.

YOU ARE OFFERED A STAND UPCOMEDY GIG AT THE ISIS HOTEL.

YOU HAVE HEARD ABOUT IT.

>> YES.

Larry: A 5 STAR HOTEL.

PAY IS $50,000.

ONE GIG.

THE ONLY WAY TO GET OUT OF THEGIG IS TO WRESTLE WITH DENNIS

HASTERT.

OKAY.

[LAUGHING]>> WELL DO, I GET TO BE THE GUY

IN BACK OR DO I HAVE TO BE ONTHE KNEES IN FRONT?

AM I THE GUY -->> Larry: THE ISIS GIG?

[LAUGHING]>> I DON'T KNOW.

WE WILL SEE.

THE NIGHT IS YOUNG.

I'M GOING HASTERT.

>> HASTERT.

Larry: YA.

>> WHATEVER.

A GIG IS A GIG IS A GIG.

>> I HAVE DONE --Larry: AN ISIS GIG.

>> I WILL DO IT AND WIN THEM.

LOOK AT ME.

I WILL WIN I HAVE DONE BLACKROOMS IN HARLEM.

>> Larry: BLACK ROOMS IN HARLEM.

>> MY BERKELEY ASS THAT'S A BIGDEAL.

>> Larry: THANK YOU, YOU CANSHARE THIS.

[LAUGHING]>> YOU SAID I'M DOING ISIS.

THEY'RE LIKE GOOD FOR YOU.

>> Larry: THIS IS FOR CHRISTIANEAMANPOUR.

SIMPLE QUESTION FOR YOU.

WHAT HAPPENS FIRST?

WE DEFEAT ISIS OR BRIAN WILLIAMSANCHORING AGAIN.

[LAUGHING]>> Larry: TAKE YOUR TIME.

>> MY GOODNESS WE DEFEAT ISIS.

Larry: OR?

THAT HAPPENS FIRST.

>> Larry: THAT HAPPENS FIRST.

THERE WE GO.

KEEP IT 100 ALRIGHT.

ARE WE TAKING ISIS SERIOUSLYENOUGH.

>> I DON'T THINK . SO I DON'TTHINK THERE IS ENOUGH COMMITTED

TO THE FIGHT.

WE CAN BEAT THEM WITHOUTAMERICAN BOOTS ON THE GROUND.

AS IT WAS SAID TODAY, AMERICA IS DOING IT HALF ASS ."

CAN'T WIN HALF ASS. BUTREGARDING THE COMEDIC ACT,

ACTUALLY COMEDIANS IN THE ARABWORLD ARE MOCKING THEM AND

TAKING THEM DOWN ON-LINE.

>> Larry: NICE, VERY NICE.

THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT!

USE COMEDY TO BRING THEM DOWN.

WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> I LIKE THAT.