The Lesser of Two Evils

  • Season 2, Ep 6
  • 02/13/2000

Fry suspects Bender's robotic duplicate has stolen a valuable item from the Miss Universe pageant.

The traffic jams of old New Yorkwere a public forum

for the free interchangeof opinion.

(car horns blaring)

MOVE IT,CRAP-FOR-BRAINS!

BUG OFF!

GET HOME,BASTARD MAN!

It all started withGerald Ford's famous invention

the automocar, which was poweredby a tank of burning fossils.

Here we seea 20th Century assembly line

where cars were constructedby primitive robots.

(chanting):OOH-GAH, OOH-GAH, OOH-GAH!OOH-GAH, OOH-GAH, OOH-GAH!

WE'VE COMEA LONG WAY, BABY.

The fruitof the robots' labor was this--

the stately 1992 LaToura.

HEY, MY GIRLFRIENDHAD ONE OF THOSE.

ACTUALLY IT WASN'T HERS,IT WAS HER DAD'S.

ACTUALLY, SHE WASN'TMY GIRLFRIEND.

SHE JUST LIVED NEXT DOORAND NEVER CLOSED HER CURTAINS.

FRY...

REMEMBER WHEN I TOLD YOU

ABOUT ALWAYS ENDING YOUR STORIESA SENTENCE EARLIER?

COME ON, LET'S SNEAKIN FOR A CLOSER LOOK.

SIR, WE DON'T TOUCHTHE ANTIQUES, SIR.

YOU DON'T... UH...I'M SORRY, YOU WORK HERE.

I SHOULD HAVE REALIZED FROM THATRIDICULOUS GETUP YOU'RE WEARING.

HEY, THIS ISFROM MILLER'S OUTPOS...

I MEAN, YEAH,I-I WORK HERE ALL RIGHT.

HERE.

MOVE THIS RUST BUCKET

OUT BEHINDST. KOCH'S CATHEDRAL.

(snorts and laughs)

DID YOU DRIVE MUCHIN THE 20th CENTURY, FRY?

NO.

NO ONE INNEW YORK DROVE.

THERE WAS TOOMUCH TRAFFIC.

(grinding)

NICE.

LISTEN TOTHAT BABY PURR.

THERE'S A BABY IN THERE, HUH?

(engine revving)

IT'S JUST LIKE RIDING

A BICYCLE... AY-YI-YI!

(all screaming)

(orchestra playing"New York, New York")

(screaming continues)

(tires squealing)

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

FIGHT! FIGHT!

SHOOT HIM!HE'S CHOKING ME!

NO, SHOOT HIM!HE'S CHOKING ME!

I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE TO SHOOT.

FLEXO! SHOOT FLEXO.

(all screaming)

(man's voice):WOMEN ONLY ROOM!

(beatboxing)

ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH OF THIS.

(both groaning)

(all gasping)

THERE'S THE ATOM!

AW, GEEZ.

BENDER? YOUSTOLE THE ATOM?

YEAH, BUT I CAN EXPLAIN.

IT'S VERY VALUABLE.

I SAW HIM SNATCH ITWHILE FRY WAS ASLEEP.

THAT'S WHY I RANTO TELL BOB BARKER.

WHOA, WHOA,WAIT A SECOND.

YOU MEAN BENDERIS THE EVIL BENDER?

I AM SHOCKED, SHOCKED!

WELL, NOT THAT SHOCKED.

I'M SORRYWE SUSPECTED YOU, FLEXO.

IT'S JUST, WELL,WITH THE BEARD AND ALL...

DON'T EVEN BOTHER.

YOU PEOPLE SICKEN ME.

I PUT MY LIFE ON THE LINETO GUARD THAT ATOM

AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?

WELL, YOU CAN GO ROTFOR ALL I CARE.

(laughing maniacally)

NAH, I'M JUST KIDDING.

YOU GUYS ARE ALL RIGHT.

(laughing)

I'M SO CONFUSED.

THE BENDER I LIKEDTURNED OUT TO BE EVIL

AND THE BENDER IHATED WAS GOOD.

HOW CAN I LIVE MY LIFE

WHEN I CAN'T TELLGOOD FROM EVIL?

WELL, THEY'RE BOTHFINE CHOICES--

WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR BOAT.

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