Extended - Thursday, June 23, 2016 - Uncensored

  • 06/23/2016

Rooster Teeth's Burnie Burns, Gavin Free and Barbara Dunkelman boost Brazil's tourism, probe Donald Trump's finances and #RuinAVideoGame in this extended, uncensored episode.

WITH THE SUMMER OLYMPIC GAMESONLY SIX WEEKS AWAY, BRAZIL IS

WORRIED BECAUSE MORE THAN TWOMILLION TICKETS REMAIN UNSOLD

AND MANY ARE BLAMING FEARS ABOUTTHE ZIKA VIRUS.

UH, IRISH GOLFER RORY MCILROY ISTHE LATEST ATHLETE TO SAY HE'LL

BE SKIPPING THE GAMES.

NOW, YES, IT'S TRUE THERE APPEARTO BE A NUMBER OF REASONS TO BE

NERVOUS ABOUT VISITING BRAZIL.

LIKE BECAUSE AN AUSTRALIANPARALYMPIAN WAS MUGGED AT

GUNPOINT THIS WEEK, OR BECAUSEHALF OF RIO DE JANEIRO'S SEWAGE

IS DUMPED INTO OPENWATERWAYS...

(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS)...OR MAYBE 'CAUSE REUTERS

RECENTLY REPORTED ON ADRUG-RESISTANT SUPER-BACTERIA ON

THE TRIATHLON BEACH, OR MAYBETHE FACT THEIR PRESIDENT IS

CURRENTLY BEING OVERTHROWN IN ANANGRY POLITICAL UPRISING...

(LAUGHTER)...OR POSSIBLY BECAUSE THE

OFFICIAL NATIONAL BIRD IS AMOLOTOV COCKTAIL, OR...

(LAUGHTER)...POSSIBLY BECAUSE THE OLYMPIC

MASCOT, AN AMAZONIAN JAGUAR,ESCAPED AND HAD TO BE SHOT BY

THE ARMY BEFORE IT ATTACKEDPEOPLE.

(AUDIENCE GROANS)NOT TO MENTION, SOMETIMES

THERE'S PIRANHAS, UH, ALSOMALARIA AND THE FACT THAT,

PERHAPS, THE COUNTRY MAY HAVEINVENTED THE KILLER BEES.

BUT IT'S GONNA BE FINE.

IT'S ALL GONNA BE FINE.

DON'T WORRY.

AFTER ALL, BRAZIL...

LISTEN, GUYS, BRAZIL GAVE USPELÉ AND PUSSY WAXING AND...

(LAUGHTER, WHOOPING)AND-AND-AND ANTIVENIN.

ANTIVENIN.

(WHOOPING)(HARDWICK LAUGHS)

THE GUY WITH THE SNAKE LOOKS WAYMORE EXCITED TO BE DOING THIS

THAN SHE DOES TO BE DOING THAT.

WE'RE TRYING TO STAY POSITIVEHERE.

WE'RE VERY POSITIVE, BRAZIL'S AWONDERFUL PLACE, IS A BEAUTIFUL

NATION, PLENTY TO OFFER THEWORLD.

PLEASE GIVE ME SOME OTHER GREATREASONS TO GO TO BRAZIL.

BURNIE BURNS.

>> AT LEAST YOU DON'T HAVE TOSMUGGLE IN YOUR OWN

PERFORMANCE-ENHANCING DRUGS.

>> HARDWICK: YEAH. PERFECT.

IT'S ALREADY... ALREADY THERE.

IT'S A POSITIVE.

GAVIN.

>> BRAZIL IS ACTUALLY RANKEDHIGHER THAN MOST COUNTRIES

ALPHABETICALLY.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)>> HARDWICK: ABSOLUTELY.

BARBARA.

>> UH, YOU CAN GET A SELFIE WITHA HOMELESS GUY MASTURBATING ON

THE STREET.

>> HARDWICK: YEAH, PERFECT.

PERFECT.

SO, GO TO BRAZIL AND CELEBRATETHE OLYMPICS.

UH, IT'S BEEN A ROUGH WEEK FORMICROWAVE KEN DOLL DONALD TRUMP

AND...

(LAUGHTER)NOT JUST 'CAUSE HE WAS REAL GOOD

FRIENDS WITH RAMSAY BOLTONEITHER. UH...

(AUDIENCE GROANS LOUDLY)NO, LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN.

LISTEN.

HE JUST WANTED TO MAKEWINTERFELL GREAT AGAIN.

VERY SAD.

ACCORDING TO THE FEC, THEMAPLE-GLAZED TAINT'S CAMPAIGN

HAS ONLY $1.3 MILLION IN CASH ONHAND, LEAVING HIM IN A SITUATION

NEW YORK TIMES IS CALLING THE"WORST FINANCIAL AND

ORGANIZATIONAL DISADVANTAGE OFANY MAJOR PARTY NOMINEE IN

RECENT HISTORY." UH, AT LEAST HE'S PUTTING HIS

MONEYS TO GOOD USE, RIGHT?

LIKE SPENDING 208 GRAND ON HATS.

UH... $613 PAYMENT TO A COMPANYCALLED LAUGH 'N LEAP WHO,

ACCORDING TO... ACCORDING TOTHEIR WEB SITE, IS THE "LEADING

SERVICE PROVIDER OF GIANTINFLATABLE BOUNCE HOUSES, WATER

SLIDES AND GAMES IN SOUTHCAROLINA."

(WHOOPING, CHEERING)IT'S THE ONLY COMPANY THAT HAS

THE TECHNOLOGY TO KEEP HIS HAIRINFLATED, UH... THE ENTIRE TIME.

THE ONLY LOGICAL EXPLANATION ISTHAT TRUMP'S GOING TO START

ENDING HIS RALLIES BY PUSHINGJEB BUSH DOWN A SLIP 'N SLIDE.

UH... RIGHT THERE.

PLEASE CLAP.

UH, COMEDIANS, WHAT ARE SOMEOTHER THINGS TRUMP HAS BEEN

SPENDING HIS MONEY ON?

(BELL DINGS)BARBARA?

>> A 600-POUND BLOCK OF CHEESESO HE CAN MAKE AMERICA "GRATE"

AGAIN.

>> HARDWICK: YES! POINTS.

(CHEERING)VERY GOOD, VERY GOOD.

THAT...

THAT IS SOME BRITISH LEVEL OFPUNNERY THAT GAVIN WAS JEALOUS

OF, UH, RIGHT THERE.

GAVIN?

>> HE SPENT 20 BUCKS ON A COPYOF MINDCRAFT SO HE COULD

PRACTICE BUILDING WALLS.

>> HARDWICK: YES. ALL RIGHT.

POINTS. POINTS.

(APPLAUSE)YEAH, WE GOT TO KEEP THOSE

CREEPERS OUT OF HERE.

WE GOT TO KEEP THOSE CREEPERSOUT. BURNIE.

>> I LOVE THE CREEPERS.

I LOVE THE CREEPERS.

>> HARDWICK: THE CREEPERS, THECREEPERS, WE GOT TO KEEP 'EM

OUT.

I LIKE THEIR STYLE, BUT WE GOTTO KEEP 'EM OUT.

UH, BURNIE.

>> TWO TOUPEES-- ONE FORCAMPAIGNING, ONE FOR FUCKING.

(LAUGHTER, CHEERING)>> HARDWICK: OH, WAIT.

HANG ON A SEC.

UH, HI.

HI, BURNIE. BURNIE.

>> YES.

>> HARDWICK: UH, CHRIS HARDWICK.

LONGTIME FAN, FIRST-TIME CALLER.

>> OKAY. GO AHEAD.

>> HARDWICK: UH, SO THE SECONDONE FOR FUCKING-- HE WEARS IT

WHILE FUCKING OR FOR FUCKING?

>> I WOULD SAY A LITTLECOLUMN A, A LITTLE COLUMN B.

>> HARDWICK: COLUMN A.

ONE FOR YOU, ONE FOR YOU.

ONE FOR YOU, ONE FOR YOU.

UH...

>> I WAS WONDERING WHY ONE OFTHEM WAS BROWN.

>> HARDWICK: IS ONE... YEAH, ONEOF THEM IS BROWN, YEAH.

>> YEAH.

>> HARDWICK: YEAH, ONE OF THEMIS BROWN.

(AUDIENCE GROANS)

IT'S NOW TIME FOR TONIGHT'SHASHTAG WARS.

(CHEERING)IT HAS NEVER BEEN EASIER FOR THE

AVERAGE JOE TO MAKE THEIR OWNMODS FOR A VIDEO GAME.

TAKE FOR EXAMPLE, DOUG KEENERSPENT A HUNDRED HOURS RECREATING

SEINFELD'S APARTMENT IN DOOM 2,WHICH IS ON REDDIT AND IT WAS

AMAZING.

CHECK IT OUT.

>> HE RECYCLED THIS GIFT!

HE'S A RE-GIFTER!

>> THESE PRETZELS ARE MAKING METHIRSTY.

(GEORGE YELLING)(LAUGHTER)

>> GEORGE!

>> HELLO, NEWMAN.

(LAUGHTER)>> HARDWICK: YEAH, THEY GET

NEWMAN AT THE END.

HE KILLS NEWMAN AT THE END.

THIS GAME'S AMAZING.

THE ONLY THING SCARIER THAN THEORIGINAL GAME'S DEMONS ARE, UH,

KRAMER'S VIEWS ON RACERELATIONS.

(AUDIENCE GASPS, SHOUTS)WE'RE GONNA-- I DIDN'T SAY IT,

HE DID.

(LAUGHTER)WE'RE GONNA FOLLOW THIS EXAMPLE

WITH TONIGHT'S HASHTAGRUINAVIDEOGAME.

EXAMPLES MIGHT BE: HALO KITTY,AND: BIOSHOCKER, UH, OR...

(LAUGHTER)...OR: SKYRIM JOB. UH...

(LAUGHTER)I'M GONNA PUT 60 SECONDS ON THE

CLOCK, AND BEGIN.

BURNIE.

>> SUPER MARIO BROS. 69.

>> HARDWICK: YEAH.

(CHEERING, WHOOPING, APPLAUSE)POINTS.

(ITALIAN ACCENT): HEY, LUIGI,YOUR MUSTACHE A-TICKLES!

(LAUGHTER)(APPLAUSE, WHOOPING)

GAVIN.

>> FIVE NIGHTS IN FREDDY.

(LAUGHTER)>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

BARBARA.

>> SONIC THE HEDGE.

>> HARDWICK: YEAH, POINTS.

(LAUGHTER)BURNIE.

>> MEGA MANSPLAINING.

>> HARDWICK: YES, POINTS.

BARBARA.

>> IMMORTAL COMBAT.

>> HARDWICK: YES, POINTS.

BURNIE.

>> PAC-PERSON, A GENDER-NEUTRALADVENTURE.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

GAVIN.

>> NEED FOR SPEED LIMIT.

>> HARDWICK: YEAH, POINTS.

BURNIE.

>> ASSASSIN'S COLLECTION OFCREED ALBUMS.

(LAUGHTER)(APPLAUSE)

(WHOOPING)>> HARDWICK: OH, MY GOD!

♪ WITH ARMS WIDE OPEN... (LAUGHTER)