In this episode, scandal hits the Department of Justice -- turns out Ashcroft was lip-syncing "Let the Eagle Soar" while it was sung by a less attractive attorney general. Then, will offshore drilling solve the energy crisis or should we wait for global warming to make everything offshore? And my guest tonight is Dick Meyer, author of the book "Why We Hate Us." If by "us" he means "him" and by "we" he means "me," I've got the answer. And tonight's Colbert Penny Pincher: if you're out of milk, add water to yogurt. This is The Colbert Report.