Dueling Hats

[wind blowing]

[footsteps]

[ominous music]

♪

- THERE'S GOTTA BE ANOTHERHUMAN BEING OUT THERE.

SOMEWHERE.

IT'S BEEN 173 DAYSSINCE THE UNDOING.

TODAY, I MAY BETHE LAST MAN ALIVE.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ANOTHER,I WILL FIND THEM.

THE LONELINESSIS MORE THAN I CAN--

[scooter engine revs]

- WHOO-HOO!

YEAH! WHEE!

HA HA!

WHOO-HOO. YO.[engine shuts off]

AHH.LET ME GET SOME OF THAT.

MM. MMM.MM-HMM, MM-HMM, MM-HMM.

[dance music]OH, YEAH!

[muffled]THAT'S MY JAM RIGHT THERE!

WHOO!

HAZZAH!

WAH, SHAKIKAH!WAH, SHASLIKAH!

OOH, Y'ALL DON'T KNOWNOTHIN' ABOUT THAT.

MM, MM.PTT-PTT-PTT-PTT.

OH, HEY BABY,HOW YOU DOING?

[grunts]YEAH!

WHAT,ALL DAY, BABY!

[grunts]

YEAH![thuds]

WHOA, HEY!DUDE!

UM, HEY, I'LL--I'LL COME OVER THERE.

DUDE! HEY!

I'LL COME TO YOU, MAN.

[gunshot][gun clicks]

[gunshot]

[music ends]

- OKAY, THERE HAS TO BE ANOTHERHUMAN BEING OUT THERE...

SOMEWHERE.

[dance music]

♪

- OH, DAMN!

CHECK THAT [bleep] OUT.

- WHAT IS THAT?- WHOO!

I DIDN'T KNOWTHEY MADE 'EM LIKE THAT.

[laughs]

- I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTANDWHAT I'M SEEING.

- MM. WHOO-WHOO!

I WOULD LOVE TO SEEWHAT'S UNDER THERE.

- I AM REALLY CURIOUSABOUT THAT.

- [laughs]YEAH, DOG, YEAH.

- I MEAN, I HAVE NO IDEA.- WELL, YOU KNOW, WE, UH--

WE OBVIOUSLY HAVE SOME IDEA,YOU KNOW?

- I DON'T.

- WELL, YOU KNOW, IT'S, UH--YOU KNOW, IT'S A COOCHIE, BABY.

- YEAH.OR SOMETHING.

- UH, NO, NO, NO, MAN.IT'S--IT'S DEFINITELY

HER LADY PARTS.[laughs]

- OR, MAYBEIT'S JUST MORE SKIN.

- NOPE.IT--IT'S A VAGINA.

- YEAH. OR, MAYBE IT'SA LITTLE FACE UNDER THERE.

- UH, NO. NO, IT'S--IT'SDEFINITELY GONNA BE A VAGINA.

- WHY?

- BE--BECAUSE SHE'S A GIRL,AND GIRLS HAVE VAGINAS, MAN.

- WHAT IS THAT?

- WHAT IS A VAGINA?

IT'S A WOMAN'SREPRODUCTIVE ORGAN.

WHA--ARE YOU BEING SERIOUSRIGHT NOW?

[eerie music]

- [deep voice] THANK YOU.THAT IS ALL I REQUIRE.

[shimmering]- OH!

OH, [bleep].THERE'S ALIENS!

THERE'S A ALIEN DOWN THERE.

- IN WHAT UNIVERSEIS THE FAMILY CIRCUS

BETTER THAN DILBERT?FOR INSTANCE--OH.

YO, WHAT'S UP, MAN?HOW YOU...

BEEN?- OH, YOU KNOW, CUZ.

KEEPIN' IT STRAIGHT.

[suspenseful percussive music]

♪

YOU KNOW.- ALL RIGHT, COOL.

WELL, I GUESSI'LL CHECK YOU LATER.

- ALL RIGHT, DOG.

WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE SEENWAS RAIN PEOPLE,

WITH JAMES CAANAND SHIRLEY KNIGHT.

- YO.

- UH, WHAT'S UP, MAN?- [laughs]

[suspenseful percussive music]

♪

- YOU GOT SOMETHING TO SAY?

- YEAH, MAN, UM...

HOW'S DENISE?

- OH, YEAH, DENISE.SHE GOOD, SHE GOOD, SHE GOOD.

ANYWAY, GUESS I'LL CATCH YOUON THE FLIP.

- YEAH, DOG, YEAH.AIN'T NO THING.

- COME ON, STICK IT.

- I'M IN THERE, DOG.- COME ON.

- NO, I'M IN THERE, DOG.I'M IN THERE.

- TUCK IT.- I'M IN THERE.

- TUCK IT.- I'M TUCKIN' IT IN, BROTHER.

I'M IN THERE, DOG.I'M IN THERE, DOG.

I'M IN THERE, DOG.

- YOU KNOW.ALL RIGHT.

[suspenseful percussive music]

- OH.

HUH, ANYWAY, YOU KNOW,YOU GOTTA COME REAL,

COME CORRECT, WHEN YOU COMINGAT ALL, YOU KNOW?

[laughs]THAT'S BASICALLY HOW I ROLL.

[sewing machine humming]IF YOU AIN'T GOT--IF YOU AIN'T--