Wednesday, April 30, 2014

  • 04/30/2014

Rove McManus, Baron Vaughn and Adam Cayton-Holland guess what Rihanna posted on Instagram, list #BadVacationSpots and watch a bizarre music video.

RIPPED TODAY'S INTERNETHEADLINES, IT'S RAPID REFRESH

NOTORIOUSLY MODEST RECORDINGARTISTRY RIHANNA HAS COME OUT OF

HER SHELL OF LATE AND GRACEDINSTAGRAM WITH

UNCHARACTERISTICALLY REVEALINGPICS, SUCH AS --

>> HOWEVER -- IS SHE VAMPIRINGA SNAKE?

>> WELL TO THE CHAGRIN OF HER13 MILLION FOLLOWERS, INSTAGRAM

FINALLY LAID DOWN THE HAMMER,CENSORING THIS RECENT PIC FROM

A BRAZILIAN MAGAZINE SHOOT.

>> INITIALLY THE @MIDNIGHTSYMBOLS WERE NOT THERE.

BUT INSTAGRAM HAS VERY STRICTPOLICIES ON THESE THINGS, AND IN

RESPONSE, SHE POSTED APIC WITH AMEME, "RIH'S NEXT MAGAZINE

COVER IF IT WAS UP TOINSTAGRAM."

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING IS THATPICTURE?

>> A, RIHANNA COVERED WITHKITTENS.

>> SHE LOVES TO SHOW HER PUSSY.>> I WAS WAITING, I WAS WAITING.

>> B, A PHOTO OF RIHANNA'SCELEBRITY "MAKE-UNDER"

OH, MY GOD.

>> THAT'S WHAT I CALL "OFFICEDESK SET RIHANNA."

IT'S LIKE SHE WORKS IN ANOFFICE.

C, A PHOTO OF WHOOP BY GOLDBERGFROM SISTER ACT.

>> WHICH ONE OF THOSE -- ROVEMCMANUS.

>> I SO WANT IT TO BE B, BECAUSEI LOVE THE IDEA THAT THERE IS

SOME ONE THAT KIND OF LOOKS LIKETHAT SOMEWHERE IN AMERICA GOING,

OH, (BLEEP), I TOLD YOU I LOOKLIKE RIHANNA.

>> WITH THE RIGHT MAKEOVER.

>> JEN FROM ACCOUNTS, COME ANDLOOK AT THIS!

>> WELL, THE CORRECT ANSWER IS,IN FACT, B!

>> OH!

>> I DO WANT TO SAY, INSTAGRAMHAS VERY STRICT POLICIES ON THIS

BECAUSE I POSTED THIS AND IDIDN'T THINK IT WAS A BIG DEAL,

AND PUT THE CAPTION, "I DON'TKNOW GUYS, TOO MUCH LIPSTICK?"

AND THIS PICTURE.

AND INSTAGRAM WAS NOT PLEASED.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEMIS.

IT'S NATURE.

>> WHAT WERE YOU DOING TO GETHIM THAT EXCITED?

>> TO CHRIS'S CREDIT THERE IS NOPEANUT BUTTER ON THAT MOUTH.

>> ALL RIGHT.

100 POINTS.

>> YES, PICK UP MY (BLEEP) WITHA BAG.

>> OH!

>> I LOVE IT WHEN I MAKE YOUPICK IT UP.

I'VE GOT TWO.

I DON'T MEAN TO BRAG.

>> FIRSTLY, DO NOT WORRY I AMDEFINITELY GOING TO BURY THIS

BONE.

>> OKAY, GOOD.

THAT IS POINTS RIGHT THERE.

OKAY.

SINCE YOU'VE ESSENTIALLYDROPPED YOUR DONG ON THE TABLE

BY SAYING YOU HAVE TWO ANSWERS,IF THE NEXT ONE DOESN'T FLY WITH

THE AUDIENCELY TAKE AWAY THOSEPOINTS.

>> OH.

>> DO YOU FEEL CONFIDENT? DOYOU WANT TO LEAVE IT OR STAY AT

100 OR GO FOR 200 OR -->> OH I FEEL CONFIDENT.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: THIS IS UNPRECEDENTED!

>> WHERE MY BITCHES ARE AT?

I MEAN --[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> Chris: 200 POINTS FORVAUGHAN.

MOVING ON. IT'S THE NBAPLAYOFFS AND THE EIGHTH SEED

ATLANTA HAWKS ARE DEFYING ALLODDS AGAINST THE TOP SEED

INDIANA PACERS, THANKS IN PARTTO DUNDER MIFFLIN GM

AND HAWKS FORWARD, MIKE SCOTT.

WITH HIS MOMENT IN THE SPOTLIGHTTHE NATION TOOK NOTICE OF SOME

UNIQUE TATTOOS, EMOJI.

>> WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING EMOJISIS TATTOOED ON MIKE SCOTT?

A, THIS ONE. DID HE PUT THAT ONTHERE, B?

>> OR C, THERE THIS ONE, THECREEPY TWINS

>> THE CREEPY DANCING TWINS.WHEN WOULD YOU EVER NEED THIS?

WHAT IS THE CORRECT ANSWER?

>> I AM GOING TO GO WITH C, THEJAPANESE OLSEN TWINS.

>> THE CORRECT ANSWER IS ALL OFTHEM.

HE HAS GOT ALL OF THEM.

WOW!

>> SO LET'S BRING THOSE BACK UP,GUYS BECAUSE WHAT I WOULD LIKE

TO DO IS PLAY A MINI ROUND OFSWEET EMOJI.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris:.

>> DONALD STERLING DOESN'T LIKETHAT I LOVE WHITE WOMEN.

NOW TIME FOR TONIGHT'S HASHTAGWARS.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] MCMANUSTRAVELED ALL THE WAY FROM

AUSTRALIA SO THE HASHTAG ISHASHTAG BAD VACATION SPOTS,

HASHTAG BAD VACATION SPOTS, ANDLOS ANGELES WOULD BE AN EXAMPLE

OF THAT, I IMAGINE.

OTHER CASES MIGHT BE "SPERMANY"OR THE SOUTH OF FRANK, OR THE

TAINT WALL OF CHINA.

>> I REALLY LIKE "SPERMANY" ALOT.

>> I DON'T MEAN TO OFFEND ANYSPERMANS WHO ARE OUT THERE.

>> 60-SECONDS ON THE CLOCK ANDGO, YES, ROVE.

>> MEXICO (BLEEP)Y.

>> POINTS.

>> SEXUAL HAR-ASPEN

>> Chris: POINTS.

>> CABO SAN LUPUS.

>> Chris: YES. IT'S NEVER LUPUS.POINTS, POINTS.

>> THE GREAT BARRIER QUEEF.

>> OH, WOW.

>> POINTS.

>> SAUDI A-LABIA.

>> VERY DRY.

>> VERY DRY, THOUGH.

>> THE SOUTH HOLE.

WHICH IS IN TAINT-ARCTICA.

SAD ETSY BOYFRIENDS.

>> SAD ETSY BOYFRIENDS.

[ APPLAUSE ]>> THE SAD ETSY BOYFRIENDS

TUMBLR UNCOVERS THE HILARIOUSLYTRAGIC TREND OF WOMEN ON ETSY

USING THEIR BOYFRIENDS ASPROPS, SEEMINGLY AGAINST

THEIR WILLS. I WILL SHOWYOU A SAD ETSY BOYFRIEND AND YOU

RING IN WITH HIS INNERMONOLOGUE.

>> LOOK AT THIS PIT-PROUD NATIVEGINGER.

>> IN THIS GAME OF BONES, I AMTHE WHITEST WALKER.

>> Chris: NICE! POINTS.

WELL DONE!

>> WOW.

WHAT IS THIS LIKE FEATHEREDSOMETHING.

>> HE IS POPPING A ZIT ON THEBACK OF HIS NECK.

>> YOU KNOW, THAT'S WHAT YOU DO.

>> Chris: NEXT ONE, THISMOURNFULLY SCARFED MAN.

>> YES.

>> THIS IS SO I DON'T LICK AT MYSTITCHES.

>> Chris: POINTS.

>> OH, YEAH.

THAT'D BE AMAZING.

>> WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING ATMCFLY?

>> Chris: POINTS.

>> YEAH.

POINTS.

>> Chris: NEXT ONE.

THIS IS UNICORNED BEAU

>> LOOK AT THE JOY THIS ITEMBRINGS.

>> THERE IS THE LAST TIME I WILLBE ALLOWED WITHIN 500 FEET OF

THIS PARK.

>> POINTS.

>> POINTS.

MUSIC VIDEO MICROSCOPE!

>> I AM VERY EXCITED ABOUT THISONE.

OH, YES.

>> I REMEMBER WHEN I TOOK THISPICTURE AT A STOCK PHOTO

CONVENTION.

>> THIS IS A NEW SEGMENT WE AREGOING TO DISSECT A CURRENT

MUSIC VIDEO THAT SMELLS WORSETHAN A DEAD FROG.

NOW, REMEMBER PATO, THATADORABLE RAPPING CAB DRIVER FROM

REBECCA BLACK'S FRIDAY, YOU HAVEPROBABLY SEEN HIM AND WISHED

HE WOULD BUST SOME OF HIS OWNRHYMES. YOU ARE IN LUCK. HE'S

GOING SOLO, AND HIS SINGLE HITYOUTUBE THIS WEEK ALONG WITH HIS

FRIEND RICHIE, AND THEY EXPLOREQUESTIONS LIKE, LIKE WHAT WOULD

WOULD THE WORLD LOOK LIKE IFBATH SALTS WERE LEGAL?

WE WILL GIVE YOU TWO CRAZYOCCURRENCES AND YOU TELL US

WHICH ACTUALLY HAPPENED DURINGTHIS FOUR MINUTE MALARIA DREAM.

I WOULD LIKE YOU TO REMIND THESONG IS CALLED FACETIME, AND IF

YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY IT ISCALLED FACETIME YOU WILL NEVER

FIND THAT ANSWER.

DO RICHIE AND PATO DOUBLE-TEAM AMIDDLE-AGED WOMAN USING THEIR

TREE PENISES, OR PATO SLICES HISHAND WITH A DAGGER AND RICHIE

DRINKS HIS BLOOD, WHICH ISBRIGHT PURPLE.

>> IT HAS TO BE TREE PENISESBECAUSE I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT.

IF IT'S RIGHT, WE GET TO SEETREE PENISES.

>> YOU MAY BE IN LUCK. LET'SSEE.

>> TREE PENIS!

>> OH, MY GOD!? WHAT? WOW.

[ APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: THE NEXT ONE.

AN ELDERLY MINOTAUR IS CRUCIFIEDAND RESPONDS BY SINGING IN A

BEAUTIFUL FALSETTO, OR A WOMANPOOPS OUT AN UNCONVINCING CGI

VINE THAT ENTERS RICHIE'S ANUS.

>> WE WILL WIN EITHER WAY.

>> PLEASE SHOW ME ELDERLYMINOTAUR.

>> WHAT IS THE ANSWER?

>> WHAT? NO!

>> I GET IT, THOUGH, GUYS, WEARE ALL ONE.

>> SNAKE LADY TURNS RICHIE ANDPATO INTO FAT OLD MEN

AND THEN PUSHES THEM INTO ABLACK VORTEX OR PATO GIVES

ANAL BIRTH TO AN ASIAN BABYWEARING A CROWN.

WELL I'M SEEING A THEME HERE OFTHINGS GOINGS INTO HOLES.

PATO GIVES ANAL BIRTH TO A SWEETASAIN BABY.

>> Chris: LET'S FIND OUT.

>> I AM REALLY DISAPPOINTED.

>> Chris: WHY?

>> BECAUSE I WANTED TO SEE THEOTHER ONE.

>> I AM JUST DISAPPOINTED WEWILL NEVER GET THAT TIME BACK.

IT IS GONE.

>> THAT'S TRUE.

>> I WAS WATCHING THE WHOLE TIMEGOING, WAIT, WAIT THERE IS

STILL A CHANCE.

THERE IS A CHANCE.

>> NOW IT IS TIME FOR FORGOTTENJAZZ GREATS.

HEY, MAN -- I DON'T KNOW IF YOUCAN FEEL THE GROOVE, BUT

TODAY IS INTERNATIONAL JAZZDAY.

YEAH.

SO LIGHT SOME INNOCENCE AND TRYTO (BLEEP) A LADY.

>> THERE ARE A LOT OF WONDERFULJAZZ MUSICIANS OUT THERE WHO

MUCH LIKE LACROSSE PLAYERS, HAVEWONDERFULLY RIDICULOUS NAMES AND

STRANGELY OUR COMEDIAN NAMESALSO FIT INTO THAT CATEGORY AS

WELL.

ROVE, BARRETT AND ADAM BECAUSEWE SPENT SO MUCH TIME NAMING

LACROSSE PLAYERS I WANT TO GIVEYOU MORE FUN NAMING PEOPLE.

60-SECONDS ON THE CLOCK ANDGO. ROVE.

>> COLD-SORE PORTER.

>> FATS DIABETES.

>> YES, ROSE.

>> URETHRA FRANKLIN.

>> YOU KNOW, YOU GET IT, YOU GETIT.

>> POINTS.

>> ROVE AGAIN.

>> OLD YELLOW FITZGERALD.

>> NO POINTS THAT TIME.

YOU BUZZED IN THREE TIMES.

BARON.

>> HANDSY NO-HANDS FINGERTON

>> FELONIOUS MONK.

>> YES, POINTS FOR SURE.

ROVE.

>> JEWY ARMSTRONG.

>> I THINK TO MYSELF, WHAT AWONDERFUL WORLD?

>> BARON.

>> OH, BISCUITS, BUTTER WORTHAND THE SWEET SYRUP SEVEN.

>> POINTS.

YOU SHOULD NAME JAZZ FANS.

ADAM.

>> MILES TO GO BEFORE WE SLEEPDAVIS.

>> YES.

POINTS.

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