• Season 4, Ep 3
  • 05/05/2016

Amy wins an Oscar, learns the secret to getting her male colleagues to listen to her and advertises a nanny service for women with philandering husbands.

Oh, hey, did youget a chance

to look at the proposalI sent you last week?

Yeah, no.

I will get to itwhen I get to it, I guess.

Hey.I got this.

Hey, Sal, I'd ask youhow your weekend was,

but I like stalkyour Instagrams.

Someone sawthree sunsets.

But here's the thing,though.

One sunset,three filters.

Oh, (bleep) you, Sal!

You tricked me.You are so bad.

You're likethe king of Instagram.

Anyway, I've got this reallydumb proposal that's so stupid,

but I'd love your eyes on it.

Anything for you, kiddo.


Sal never boops meor looks at my work.

None of the guys here do.

You should trymy Guy-gles.

They're like Google Glass,

but they show youthe kind of woman

the guy in front of youneeds you to be.

Needs you to be?

Yeah, you know, like flirtyvictim, spunky kid sister,

nurturing mother,but flirty,

wounded skank,step-MILF,

sexy sex kitten,flirty sex kitten,

flirty friend of Mom,manic pixie or Amy Adams.

Here, try them.


Wow, they hurt.Yeah, a lot.

Now go hand outthose proposals.

Oh, oh.

(computer voice)This is Ryan.

No one had sex with himin high school

because he hadred hair and no dick.

Has no interest in you but needsto know you'd (bleep) him.

Needs to know you'd (bleep) him.

Hey, Ryan.

Oh, my God.

I feel so weirdtalking to you,

'cause I had the craziest dreamabout you last night.

Oh, my God,I can't focus around you.

Really?What was it?

I really shouldn't say.Come on.

Here I am going on and on aboutmy wet dream about your dick.

Anyway, would you takea look at this proposal?

Absolutely.(both chuckling)

(computer voice)Joshy Weinjosh.

Believes he is hilarious.

Tweets awful thingsat female celebrities.

Needs you to laugh at his jokes

like it's your (bleep) job--your (bleep) job.

Hey, Joshy.

That's what she said.

Hahahahaha!You're so funny!

You should be on "SNL."

That's what my mom says.

(laughing)Oh, my God.

You're funny.What is that, a proposal?

Yeah.Then where's the ring?

(both laughing)

Joshy.Oh, Jesus.

I'll take a lookat it for you.

(giggling)(Joshy chuckles)

(computer voice)This is Toby.

He's gay.

(Amy)Here's the proposal.

Great, thanks.

Hey, hey, everyone.

Just so you know, there arecupcakes in the break room.

(computer voice)Joshy had a black girlfriendonce and thinks he's a hero.

Expects you to be sassy...(overlapping computer voices)

(loud overlappingcomputer voices)

(electrical buzzing)


♪ I wiggle aroundon this chair ♪

♪ I guess I look adorable

♪ Not tryingI swear ♪

♪ And you better get home soon

♪ 'Cause when you're goneall I do is think about you ♪

♪ 'Cause you're soirresistible ♪

♪ Sexy and cute

♪ Don't make this girlwait long ♪

♪ I don't thinkI'm that strong ♪

♪ With me is where you belong

♪ I want to feel you nowso I put on your shirt ♪

♪ It smells just like you

♪ And I slip on your socksand now I'm not blue ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm reminded of you

♪ And I knowthat it's true ♪

♪ That you think that I'm cute

♪ When I do what I do

♪ To feel closerto you ♪

♪ I use your old toothbrush

♪ The fact that it was in yourmouth gives me a huge rush ♪

♪ I put on your ball cap

♪ And I sit on the couchand I watch the game ♪

♪ Shove handfuls of creatinedown my throat ♪

♪ So we weigh the same

♪ Your face isall I see ♪

♪ I fit you perfectly

♪ I think that I am forgettinghow to be me ♪

♪ But I don't care

♪ I went to your joband did a presentation ♪

♪ They told me to tell you thatwe should take a long vacation ♪

♪ Then I found your hairsin the sink ♪

♪ And I glued them to my face

♪ Close my eyes and I runmy hands up and down ♪

♪ To feel closer to you

♪ I put a picklein my underpants ♪

♪ To remember how excitedyou get ♪

♪ When I do my sexy dance

♪ Then I

♪ Pee standing up

♪ Down my legit runs ♪

♪ And I cut my hair short

♪ But notthe pit ones ♪

♪ Then I go through the trashand I eat your old food ♪

♪ So I poop what you poop

♪ And I think whatyou think ♪

♪ Do you like my new ink

♪ Scream at 14-year-oldson Xbox 'cause I... ♪

Lost!♪ Push my feelings way down

♪ Watch your porn and jack off

♪ Then I light my fartsto feel closer to... ♪



♪ You you you youyou you you you ♪

♪ I'm not herebecause there is just you ♪♪