Tom Lennon & Marc Maron

  • Season 2, Ep 7
  • 08/20/2013

Anthony learns about plastic surgery and investigates body dysmorphia; Tom Lennon and Marc Maron defend their tweets.

>> LET'S GET RIGHT INTO IT WITH

THE WORST BEST THING OF THE

WEEK.

HUNGER GAMES CAMP, WHERE A KID

CAN KILL A KID.

A SUMMER CAMP WITH A HUNGER

GAMES THEME IN FLORIDA CAUSING

CONTROVERSY BECAUSE IT INCLUDED

A TOURNAMENT WHERE KIDS KILLED

EACH OTHER.

BUT DON'T WORRY, THE KIDS DIDN'T

ACTUALLY DIE, THAT'S MORE A

SUMMER FOOTBALL CAMP THING.

YEAH, SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD WAY TO

SEND A FAT KID TO FAT CAMP,

WITHOUT HIM KNOWING HE IS GOING

TO FAT CAMP.

>> TRUCKER GAMES, ENJOY.

>> IT COULD BE WORSE, AT LEAST

IT'S NOT SILVER LININGS PLAY

BOOK CAMP.

>> THAT WOULD BE AWFUL.

>> WHERE YOU JUST DANCE WITH

GUYS FROM MENTAL INSTITUTIONS.

>> I THINK THE THING ABOUT THIS

CAMP IS EVERY NIGHT THEY TELL

GHOST STORIES ABOUT THE KIDS

THAT DIES THE DAY BEFORE.

>> IT'S RARE YOU CAN GO TO A

CAMP WHERE YOUR FIRST SEXUAL

ENCOUNSEL YOUR LAST.

>> WELL, THERE'S A COUPLE OF

CATCHES I CAN THINK OF.

>> I WAS MAKING A JOKE ABOUT THE

HOLOCAUST.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

WHAT IS THAT YOUR HAND

IMPRESSION.

>> I WAS DUCKING OUT FOR THE

THAT WAS A KNOWING LAUGH.

>> NOW, IT IS TIME FOR NOT

BUYING IT.

THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN HECKLING,

STAND UP COMEDY AND LIVE MUSIC

PERFORMANCES WHERE THE PASSENGER

LIKE IT OR NOT.

NOW IF YOU DO WIND UP ON ONE OF

THESE FLIGHTS, IT'S IMPORTANT TO

KILL YOURSELF BEFORE YOU KILL

THE CHILD NEXT TO YOU.

[LAUGHTER]

>> IT'S GOING TO BE BLEEP AS

EVERYTHING ELSE ON THE AIRLINE,

WHICH IS TOTALLY UNFAIR.

FIRST CLASS WILL GET LUCY K.C.

FOR FREE, AND COACH YOU PAY $5

YOU GET TODD BERRY.

>> OH.

WHY TODD.

>> BECAUSE I LOVE HIM.

>> AND MARK, A CROWD THAT

COULDN'T WALK OUT ON YOU.

DID YOU HEAR THE QUESTION THE.

>> YEAH, BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE

TALKING TO YOURSELF.

>> OH, MY GOD THE SEXUAL TELLING

BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU, IT IS

PALPABLE ALL NIGHT LONG, JUST

KISS.

>> IF I WANT TO GET ON A PLANE

WHERE I HERE [BLEEP] KEHLING

JOKES I WOULD JUST FLY

SOUTHWEST.

>> IF YOU LOOK AT ALL THE VIRGIN

ATLANTIC ADS THEY ARE TRYING TO

CONVINCE YOU THAT THEIR HOT

STEWARDSTS ARE GOING TO GIVE YOU

DON'T YOU GET THAT FEELING?

WE NAUGHTY.

>> BUT NOBODY IS GIVING ME A

[BLEEP].

>> ONCE THEY TREAT YOU LIKE A

JERK, IF YOU REQUEST A [BLEEP].

LIKE COME ON, I KNOW YOU HAVE

BLANKETS BACK THERE.

COULD YOU EVER DO THIS, IF I

PAID YOU $1 MILLION.

>> YES.

>> PAID YOU $1 MILLION.

>> I FORGOT WHAT YOU ASKED ME.

WHEN YOU SAID THERE WAS A

$1 MILLION INVOLVED WAS IT BLOW

YOU IN AN AIRPLANE BATHROOM IN

YES.

>> 1,000 TIMES ANTHONY, YES.

PAID YOU $1 MILLION.

YOU ARE A COMEDY DUO, ON AN

AIRPLANE THAT IS ABOUT TO CRASH.

>> PROBLEMS.

>> PROBLEMS ON THE AIRPLANE.

>> ENTERTAIN THE PASSENGERS, GO.

>> HEY, FOLKS DON'T PANIC, I

KNOW THERE'S A LITTLE

TURBULENCE, BUT TOM WILL SHOW

YOU THE PROPER BEHAVIOR TO ACT

WHEN SOMETHING LIKE THIS IS

HAPPENING.

TOMMING.

>> [BLEEP] [BLEEP].

>> PLEASE REMEMBER ALWAYS PUT

THE OXYGEN MASK ON YOURSELF

FIRST AND THE CHILD NEXT TO YOU

NEXT, RIGHT, TOM?

[BLEEP] [BLEEP].

>> HOW ABOUT THAT FOOD ON TRAINS

[BLEEP].

>> OH.

THAT'S VERY APPROPRIATE.

>> AND NOW ON TO FOR THE LADIES.

MY DOG HELPED ME LICK CANCER.

USING DETECTION DOGS TO SNIFF

OUT OVARIAN CANCER IN WOMEN'S

BLOOD COUNT.

>> I WAS DOING TO SAY, ARE THEY

POSITIVE IF THE DOG IS BARKING

IN THAT AREA THAT YOU HAVE

OVARIAN CANCER, OR WHAT IF YOU

HAVE A ADVANTAGE THAT FULL OF

SNAUSAGE.

>> STOP IT, STOP IT.

>> I DON'T THINK THAT THE DOG

ACTUALLY BARKS YOU JUST KNOW YOU

HAVE CANISTER DOG GETS REALLY

AWKWARD AND DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO

SAY TO YOU.

>> I DON'T KNOW IF I WOULD WANT

A DOG TELLING ME I HAVE CANCER.

I WANT A LITTLE BOY IN A SAILOR

OUTFIT TO TELL ME MY PROSTATE IS

ENLARGED.

>> BUT YOU'RE SUGGESTING AFTER

HE HAS TAKEN HIS ARM OUT OF YOUR

ASS.

>> WITH LITTLE HANDS.

>> LIKE THE CANCER DOG YOU KNOW

THAT M. I.T. HAS A DOG THAT CAN

TELL IF YOUR TESTICLES ARE

SLATIERED WITH PEANUT BUTTER.

>> THE DOG PERFECTED BUT IT IS

GETTING VERY GOOD.

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