November 10, 2015 - Ricky Velez vs. Virgil & Climate Action

  • 11/10/2015

Ricky Velez throws down with former WWE wrestler Virgil, and Larry discusses solutions to global warming with Bill Nye, Bridget Everett and Rory Albanese.

OH, WOW!

WHAT A CROWD TONIGHT!

(AUDIENCE CHANTING LARRY)THANK YOU SO MUCH.

WHAT A GREAT TUESDAY NIGHT CROWDTONIGHT.

I KNOW!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU

TONIGHT.

BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY IS BACKWITH US ON PANEL.

WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUTCLIMATE CHANGE.

BUT FIRST, LET'S TALK ABOUT HOWTHE RACIAL CLIMATE HAS BEEN

CHANGING ON THE UNIVERSITY OFMISSOURI CAMPUS.

>> THE UNIVERSITY OF MISSOURITHIS MORNING IS LOOKING FOR A

NEW PRESIDENT AND CHANCELLOR.

ANGER OVER RACIAL TENSIONS ONCAMPUS FORCED THEM OUT.

BOTH LEADERS RESIGNED MONDAYWITHIN HOURS OF EACH OTHER.

>> AFRICAN-AMERICAN STUDENTSINCLUDING THE STUDENT BODY

PRESIDENT SAY THEY'VE FACEDREPEATED SHOUTS OF THE "N" WORD

ON CAMPUS.

>> Larry: WAIT, WHICH "N" WORDARE WE TALKING ABOUT?

IF THE "N" WORD IN QUESTION IS"NINCOMPOOP," THEN I WOULD AGREE

THAT IT'S PROBABLY NOTWARRANTED.

BUT I'M NOT SURE IF IT RISES TOTHE LEVEL OF -- I'M JUST

KIDDING.

I KNOW IT WAS "NIGGER."

ALL RIGHT.

SCREAMING THE "N" WORD IS APRETTY MESSED UP THING TO DO.

BUT IS THIS THE ONLY THING?

HAVE THERE BEEN OTHER THINGS TOHAPPEN ON THIS CAMPUS?

>> IN ONE INCIDENT THIS YEAR, ASWASTIKA WAS FOUND IN A

RESIDENCE HALL DRAWN WITH HUMANFECES.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)>> Larry: OKAY.

THAT'S PRETTY BAD.

BUT I HAVE TO BE HONEST WITHYOU -- THE HEADLINE THERE IS

MORE HYGIENE THAN RACISM.

YOU'RE BURYING THE LEDE OF YOURHATRED, POOP SWASTIKA GUY.

I MEAN, IF YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKEA CASE FOR THE "TURD REICH," I

GET IT.

NICE RACIST PUN.

THIS IS AMERICA, AND YOU HAVETHE RIGHT TO DO THAT.

JUST USE A SHARPIE.

ONLY A SUGGESTION.

AND THIS HAS BEEN "THE MORE YOUHATE."

♪♪(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

BUT THAT'S NOT ALL.

APPARENTLY, THERE HAVE ALSO BEENA NUMBER OF OTHER REPORTS OF

RACIAL INCIDENTS ON CAMPUS.

>> MEMBERS OF A BLACK STUDENTORGANIZATION SAID A DRUNK WHITE

STUDENT YELLED THE "N" WORD ATTHEM.

>> BACK IN SEPTEMBER, THESTUDENT GOVERNMENT PRESIDENT,

WHO IS A BLACK MAN, SAID PEOPLEIN A PICKUP TRUCK ON CAMPUS

YELLED RACIAL SLURS AT HIM.

>> Larry: WAIT, SOMEONE'SSURPRISED THAT SOME YOKELS IN A

PICKUP TRUCK IN MISSOURI MIGHTYELL OUT THE "N" WORD?

PLEASE.

I WOULD BE SURPRISED IF THEG.P.S. LADY WASN'T PROGRAMMED TO

SAY THAT.

"TURN LEFT, AT THE NIGGERS."

(AUDIENCE REACTS)THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

IN ALL FAIRNESS, IT PROBABLY ISTHE CLEAREST LANDMARK.

THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)(LAUGHTER)

"YOU'VE MISSED YOUR EXIT.

PLEASE MAKE A JEW-TURN AS SOONAS POSSIBLE ."

RACIST G.P.S., EVERYONE.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)THE G.P.S. IS RACIST!

NOT ME.

LOOK, I'M NOT TRYING TO DIMINISHTHIS, BUT, YOU KNOW, I KNOW KIDS

CAN SAY A LOT OF (BLEEP) UPTHINGS AT THAT AGE.

THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE THE FACULTYTHERE TO PROVIDE AN EXAMPLE.

>> JOINING ME NOW IS CYNTHIAFRISBEE.

SHE'S ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR OFSTRATEGIC COMMUNICATION AT THE

MISSOURI SCHOOL OF JOURNALISM.

YOU WROTE ON Facebook, "I HAVEBEEN CALLED THE "N" WORD TOO

MANY TIMES TO COUNT.

AND YES, I HAVE HAD A FEWFACULTY CALL ME THE "N" WORD AND

TREAT ME WITH INCREDIBLEDISRESPECT."

>> Larry: NO!

FACULTY?

>> YES, FACULTY.

>> Larry: WELL, I GUESS WEFINALLY KNOW WHAT GOES ON BEHIND

THAT MYSTERIOUS DOOR TO THEFACULTY LOUNGE.

SMOKING AND RACISM, MYSTERYSOLVED.

OKAY.

THERE IS DEFINITELY A PROBLEMHERE.

SO WHY DID THE PRESIDENT RESIGN?

COULDN'T HE JUST SIT DOWN ANDHASH IT OUT WITH HIS STUDENTS?

>> STUDENTS FELT THAT PRESIDENTWOLFE WAS DISMISSIVE OF THEIR

CONCERNS WHICH LED TO THESTUDENTS BLOCKING HIS CAR DURING

THE HOMECOMING DAY PARADE AND,AT THAT POINT, HE DID NOT GET

OUT OF THE CAR TO TALK TO THEM.

>> Larry: OH, MY GOD, HEWOULDN'T GET OUT OF THE CAR?

YOU KNOW, MAYBE HE WAS TRYING TOGET OUT, BUT THE G.P.S. LADY

WOULDN'T LET HIM.

"I'M SORRY, TIM.

I'M AFRAID I CAN'T DO THAT ."

IT'S POSSIBLE.

ACTUALLY, HE MAY HAVE MADE AGOOD DECISION STAYING IN THE CAR

BECAUSE, WHEN THE STUDENTSEVENTUALLY CAUGHT UP TO HIM A

FEW WEEKS LATER, THIS HAPPENED.

>> I WILL GIVE YOU AN ANSWER ANDI'M SURE IT WILL BE A WRONG

ANSWER.

>> YOU GONNA GOOGLE IT?

I WILL GIVE YOU AN ANSWER,AND I'M SURE IT WILL BE A WRONG

ANSWER.

>> TIM -- TIM WOLFE, WHAT DO YOUTHINK SYSTEMATIC OPPRESSION IS?"

>> Larry: NO!

DON'T DO IT, TIM!

YOU CANNOT WIN!

THIS IS A TRAP!

DON'T ANSWER THIS QUESTION!

EVEN IF YOUR ANSWER IS PITCHPERFECT, IT WILL GO POORLY.

>> SYSTEMATIC OPPRESSION ISBECAUSE YOU DON'T BELIEVE THAT

YOU HAVE THE EQUAL OPPORTUNITYFOR SUCCESS IN --

>> DID YOU -- DID YOU JUST BLAMEUS FOR SYSTEMATIC OPPRESSION,

TIM WOLFE?

>> Larry: NO!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I TOLD YOU NOT TO ANSWER!

AND YOU DID IT ANYWAY.

AND THEN YOU VICTIM BLAME BLACKSTUDENTS FOR OPPRESSION?

MAN, TIM WOLFE TOTALLY MESSED UPON THAT ONE.

THAT'S NOT HOW HIS COUSIN DICKWOLF WOULD HAVE HANDLED THAT

SITUATION.

HE WOULD HAVE WRITTEN 18 SEASONSOF A LONG-RUNNING PROCEDURAL

ABOUT IT, TO EVERYONE'S DELIGHT.

(LAUGHTER)BUT IT WASN'T THAT QUIET MEETING

THAT MADE PRESIDENT WOLFERESIGN.

>> A GRADUATE STUDENT NAMEDJONATHAN BUTLER DECIDED HE WOULD

GO ON A HUNGER STRIKE UNTILWOLFE STEPPED ASIDE.

>> Larry: JONATHAN, I ADMIREYOUR BELIEFS, YOUR FORTITUDE AND

YOUR COURAGE, BUT LET ME SAY, ASA FATHER OF A COLLEGE STUDENT,

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH A MEAL PLANIS AT MIZZOU?

(LAUGHTER)JUST PUTTING THAT OUT THERE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)UP TO $3,500!

CAN'T YOU DENY YOURSELFSOMETHING THAT WASN'T PREPAID AT

THE BEGINNING OF THE SEMESTER?

UGH.

JUST PUTTING IT OUT THERE.

I GET IT NOW.

A HUNGER STRIKE IS SERIOUS.

NO PRESIDENT WANTS TO SEE A KIDPOSSIBLY DIE OF HUNGER OVER

SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

I MEAN, THAT IS WHY HE RESIGNED,RIGHT?

>> WHEN BLACK FOOTBALL PLAYERSAT MISSOURI, AN S.E.C. SCHOOL,

SAID THEY WOULD NOT PLAY ORPRACTICE AGAIN UNTIL WOLFE WENT

AWAY, WELL, THAT'S WHEN ITREACHED A TIPPING POINT.

MIZZOU'S COACH SUPPORTED THEPLANNED STRIKE.

IF THE TIGERS DID NOT TAKE THEFIELD THIS WEEKEND AGAINST

BRIGHAM YOUNG UNIVERSITY, THEYWOULD HAVE HAD TO PAY A

$1 MILLION CANCELLATION FEE.

>> I AM RESIGNING AS PRESIDENTOF THE UNIVERSITY OF THE

MISSOURI SYSTEM.

>> Larry: SO IT WAS FOOTBALLAND MONEY THAT SAVED THE DAY?

OH, THIS IS SUCH AN AMERICANSTORY.

FOR A UNIVERSITY WHOSE OFFICIALCOLORS ARE BLACK AND GOLD --

BLACK SEEMS TO BE A LOT LESSIMPORTANT THAN GOLD.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Larry: WELCOME BACK.

ON YESTERDAY'S SHOW, WE AIRED APIECE WITH OUR OWN RICKY VELEZ

INVESTIGATING RACISM INPROFESSIONAL WRESTLING.

IN TONIGHT'S PART 2, RICKYACTUALLY STEPS INTO THE RING FOR

A MATCH AS HE TRIES TO BECOMETHE WORLD'S MOST RACIST

WRESTLER.

HOW DID HE DO?

LET'S TAKE A LOOK.

>> SO, YOU MAY BE WONDERING WHYI'M IN THIS POSITION.

WELL, I'M INVESTIGATING RACISMIN WRESTLING.

IN ORDER TO DO THAT, I ENLISTEDTHE HELP OF TWO EX-WWE STARS

>> I [BLEEP] LOVE SEX.>> CAN YOU TEACH ME TO BECOME

THIS RACIST?>> CREATED A VERY RACIST GIMMICK

I'M GOING TO BE A MEXICAN RICKYVELEZ BORDER JUMPER.

DID A WHOLE TRAINING MONTAGE,AND TONIGHT AT THE MAIN EVENT, I

FIGHT VIRGIL IN THE MOST RACISTWRESTLING MATCH OF ALL TIME.

BUT, BEFORE THAT, I WANTED TOTALK TO THE FANS ABOUT THIS

ISSUE -- AND I ALSO WANTED TOSELL THEM SOME MERCHANDISE.

YOU LIKE MY MERCHANDISE?

IT WAS KNITTED BY MYYOUECAN ALSO PURCHASE AN

ORANGE.

I'M GOING TO SIGN A BURRITO FORYOU.

IT'S MORE OF A RIP.

>> I WANT THIS ONE.

'LL MOW YOUR DAUGHTER'SLAWN.

THAT'S A FAVORITE HERE TONIGHT.

>> MY JOB IS WINNING MATCHES ANDTHAT JOB USED TO BE YOURS

YOU LIKE THE RACISM?

RIGHT?

>> YEAH.

THE IMAGINATION OF A FAN.

IS IT RACIST?

>> FANS JUST WANT TO BE EXCITED.

THEY WANT TO JUMP, THEY WANT TOSCREAM, THEY WANT TO JUMP OUT OF

THEIR SEATS, THEY WANT TO CRY,THEY WANT TO LAUGH.

>> BUT THEY SAY RACIST THINGSTOWARDS YOU, SO WHY IS THAT

OKAY?

>> BUT WHEN YOU GO OUTSIDE,IT'S, HOW ARE YOU, BABY?

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

THE SAME GUY THAT CALLED YOU ABLACK SON OF A BITCH (BLEEP) --

>> DO YOU THINK THERE IS A LOTOF RACISM IN WRESTLING?

>> THERE IS NOT A LOT OFAFRICAN-AMERICAN WWE CHAMPIONS.

>> HOW MANY?

THE ONLY ONE I CAN THINK OFIS THE ROCK.

>> WE'RE COUNTING HIM AS FULLBLACK?

CAN SOMEONE GOOGLE THE ROCK ANDFIGURE OUT WHAT HE IS?

>> RACIST CHARACTERS ARE WHATPEOPLE FEAR AND THEY WILL MAKE

THESE PEOPLE AS THE BAD GUYS.

>> AND WHAT DO AMERICANS FEELMORE THAN EVER RIGHT NOW?

A MEXICAN BORDER JUMPER!

>> MEXICO!

MEXICO!

YEAH!

HERE WE GO!

HEY!

I'M GOING TO TAKE YOUR JOB!

I'M GOING TO TAKE YOUR JOB!

I'M GOING TO TAKE YOUR JOB!

>> WHY IS IT THAT WRESTLINGDOESN'T HAVE TO BE POLITICALLY

CORRECT?

>> BECAUSE IT'S LIKE A MOVIE.

PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING HAS BEENTHE LONGEST RUNNING EPISODIC

TELEVISION IN TELEVISIONHISTORY, BEING AFRICAN-AMERICAN

WAS A GIMMICK.

>> WHAT DO YOU THINK ASCHARACTERS SUCH AS VIRGIL BACK

IN THE DAY WHEN HE USED TO BETHE SLAVE TO THE MILLION-DOLLAR

MAN?

>> THAT WAS RACIST.

NOBODY SEEMED TO SAY ANYTHINGTHEN.

>> IT'S THE WORLD'S MANLIESTSOAP OPERA.

LET'S TALK ABOUT VIRGIL REALQUICK.

>> ALL RIGHT.

DO YOU THINK I SHOULD BEAFRAID OF HIM?

>> THERE IS SOMETHING YOU SHOULDBE AFRAID OF.

>> WHAT?

LOSING YOUR WALLET.

HE'LL GO IN YOUR WALLET AND TAKEALL YOUR MONEY OUT OF IT.

>> COME ON.

TAKE MY HAND!

BY BEING THE HEEL, YOU HAVE TOBE ABLE TO ACCEPT WHAT PEOPLE

SAY.

>> I NEED AN EXAMPLE.

YOUR NAME IS RICKY?

YES.

I'M GOING TO CALL YOU SHORTDICK RICK.

>> YOU DON'T KNOW.

I SAW YOU TAKING A SHOWER.

YOU DID NOT.>> IF MY ROLE IS THE BAD GUY,

I WOULD SAY I BANGED YOURWIFE, (BLEEP) YOUR MOTHER AND

MADE YOUR GRANDMOTHER WATCH,BECAUSE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HATE

ME.>> HOW'D YOU GET MY WHOLE FAMILY

TOGETHER?

>> I CAN'T PUSSY FOOT AROUND IFI WANT THE CROWD TO HATE ME.

I'M BRINGING OUT THE WATERMELON!(SINGING)

OH MY GOD,THE FANS LIKE THIS!

BUT VIRGIL, NOT SO MUCH.

BUT VIRGIL, NOT SO MUCH.

SO WHAT DID I LEARN THROUGH ALLOF THIS?

WRESTLING IS DEFINITELY RACIST,BUT THE WRESTLERS DON'T

GIVE A (BLEEP).

DID YOU EVER FEEL BAD PLAYING ASLAVE?

>> IF YOU DON'T LIKE THISTELEVISION SHOW, DON'T WATCH IT.

>> 'NEATH DO THE FANS.

THIS IS THE WORLD'S SOAPOPERA.

>> MOST IMPORTANTLY OF ALL, ILEARNED WHAT BEING HEAD BUTTED

IN THE DICK FEELS LIKE.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)>> Larry: MY THANKS TO RICKY

VELEZ!

AND BY THE WAY, THE ENTIRE MATCHIS UP ON OUR WEB SITE.

SO GO TO TheNightlyShow.com TOCHECK OUT THE EXCLUSIVE FOOTAGE.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Larry: WELCOME BACK!

I'M HERE WITH MY PANEL.

YOU CAN SEE HIM PERFORMING LIVETHIS FRIDAY AT 8:00 P.M. AT THE

HIGHLINE BALLROOM, "THE NIGHTLYSHOW" CONTRIBUTOR RORY ALBANESE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)YOU CAN SEE HER PERFORM AT THE

NEW YORK COMEDY FESTIVAL THISTHURSDAY AT 7:30 P.M.,

COMEDIENNE AND CABARET PERFORMERBRIDGET EVERETT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)AND HE'S THE C.E.O. OF THE

PLANETARY SOCIETY, AND HIS NEWBOOK "UNSTOPPABLE: HARNESSING

SCIENCE TO CHANGE THE WORLD" ISOUT TODAY.

BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)AND FOR EVERYONE AT HOME, JOIN

OUR CONVERSATION RIGHT NOW ONTWITTER @NIGHTLYSHOW USING THE

HASHTAG "TONIGHTLY."

NOW, BILL, YOUR BOOK ON CLIMATECHANGE JUST CAME OUT, AND YOU

-- CONGRATULATIONS.

>> THANK YOU.

>> Larry: YOU'RE WELCOME.

I KNOW YOUHAVE YOUR OWN TAKE ON THINGS,

BUT OTHER RESEARCHERS HAVEPREDICTED THERE WILL BE NO FISH

IN THE OCEAN BY 2048.

SEA LEVELS WILL RISE 38 FEET ANDPUT CITIES LIKE NEW YORK

UNDERWATER, AND CLIMATE CHANGEWILL LEAVE OVER HALF A BILLION

PEOPLE HOMELESS.

DO ENVIRONMENTAL SCARE TACTICSGO TOO FAR?

>> NO.

>> Larry: I DON'T BELIEVE THATFISH THING, I'M JUST SAYING.

>> THE WORD "NO FISH IN THEOCEAN," HUMANS TAKE A LOT OF

FISH OUT OF THE OCEAN.

BUT HERE'S WHY I SAY THEYHAVEN'T GONE FAR ENOUGH, BECAUSE

WE'RE STILL TALKING ABOUT ITRATHER THAN GETTING TO WORK!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Larry: DID YOU JUST

ACKNOWLEDGE THAT SOME OF IT IS(BLEEP) BUT IT'S EFFECTIVE

(BLEEP)?

>> NO.

WHEN SOMEBODY SAYS -- A COUPLEOF THINGS.

>> Larry: YEAH.

WHEN SOMEBODY SAYS NO FISH INTHE OCEAN, ZERO FISH, THAT'S

KIND OF AN EXXAJ>> Larry: NO, THAT'S GOOD

SCIENCE RIGHT THERE, MAN!>> GREAT USE OF AN ABBREV

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> BUT FURTHERMORE, ALSO, IN

ADDITION, TO CONTINUE, FOR THOSEOF YOU INTO SIGNIFICANT DIGITS,

WHEN SOMEONE SAYS 2048 ASOPPOSED TO 2047 OR 2046 1/2

2051 3/4, LET'S TAKE A BIGBREATH, IN 50 YEARS THERE COULD

BE A LOT OF LESS FISH IN THEOCEAN AND WE COULD HAVE A LOT

LESS SUSHI.

>> YOU'RE SCARING ME.>> BUT THE PROBLEM IS,

IT DOES SEEM LIKE A HUGEEXAGG.

IF YOU WANT AMERICANS TO BEIMPACTED, YOU SAY, YOU KNOW

ENDLESS SHRIMP AT RED LOBSTER?

IT'S GOING TO END!

>> MY POINT IS WE CAN ADDRESSTHESE PROBLEMS.

WE CAN --DARE I SAY IT-- CHANGETHE WORLD!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Larry: AND I ALWAYS WONDER

IF THE AVERAGE PERSON --BRIDGET, THE AVERAGE PERSON --

DOESN'T THE AVERAGE PERSON THINKA LOT OF THINGS ARE TOO MUCH OF

A HASSLE?

IT'S SO HARD TO KEEP SO MANYTHINGS IN OUR HEAD -- RECYCLING.

>> BUT THE BEAUTY ABOUTRECYCLING IS YOU CAN STILL BE A

LAZY ASSHOLE.

YOU CAN GO OUT EVERY FRIDAYNIGHT, GET (BLEEP) FACED,

(BLEEP) IN THE BACK OF THE CAB,BUT WHEN YOU GO HOME, REMEMBER

TO PUT YOUR BOTTLES IN, INSTEADOF THE TRASH,

>> YOU DON'T HAVE TO CHANGE YOURLIFESTYLE.

>> YOU DON'T.

IN FACT -->> Larry: WHAT DO YOU THINK IS

THE BIGGEST RESISTANCE TO THAT?>> THE FOSSIL FUEL INDUSTRY.

THEY'VE WORKED REALLY HARD TOINTRODUCE THIS IDEA THAT

SCIENTIFIC UNCERTAINTY PLUS ORMINUS .48% IS THE SAME AS

100%, AND THAT'S WRONG.

I WANT US TO MOVE FORWARD TOEMBRACE WIND POWER AND SOLAR

POWER.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)HALF THE PEOPLE IN THE U.S. LIVE

IN THE EASTERN TIME ZONE ANDHUGE, UNEXPLOITED ENERGY

RESOURCES, WIND OFF THE EASTCOAST.

YOU'VE HEARD THE WORDCONTINENTAL SHELF?

>> Larry: ABSOLUTELY.

I SAY IT EVERY DAY>> WE CAN PUT WINTER OUT A FEW

KILO METERS -->> WRONG COUNTRY, NYE!

KILOMETERS!

YOU LOST ME!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKINGABOUT!

METRIC, METRIC.

>> 2,000 TWO-LITER POP BOTTLESSTACKED IN THERE.

>> Larry: I WONDERED IFELECTRIC CARS WERE TOO UGLY.

THEY'RE SO COOL!

HAVE YOU SEEN A TESLA?

>> THEY'RE SO COOL!

MY CLAIM, IS AFTER YOU'VE HADAN ELECTRIC CAR, YOU WILL NEVER

GO BACK.

IT COSTS ABOUT A FIFTH AS MUCHTO RUN AN ELECTRIC CAR AS A

GAS-POWERED CAR.

YOU DON'T WANT THE FREAKIN' GASIN THE CAR AFTER THAT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Larry: NO, I AGREE!

MAYBE PEOPLE WOULD STARTPAYING ATTENTION IF MEGYN KELLY

HOPPED ON THE HOOD OF A HYBRID,ROLLED AROUND, SPREAD LEGS, YOU

KNOW,(LAUGHTER)

>> Larry: WE'RE ONLY ONECOUNTRY, RIGHT?

HOW CAN WE GET THE REST OF THEGLOBE OR ARE WE THE ONES

LAGGING?

>> WE ARE THE ONES LAGGING.

MY CLAIM, FURTHERMORE, IF THEU.S. WERE LEADING, EVERYBODY

WOULD BE ON BOARD!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> IS THERE A WAY TO HARNESS

BILL NYE'S CLAP GROUP? BECAUSEWE COULD POWER THE WHOLE WORLD

ALRIGHT WITH THE CLAPPERS! WEGET IT!

YOU LIKE BILL NYE, WE GET IT!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> LITHIUM BATTERIES, DO WE HAVE

A PROBLEM?

>> OVERMINING LITHIUM!

AHHH!

>> Rory: HOW DO WE SOLVE THATPROBLEM?

>> WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT!

DON'T THROW IN THE TOWEL.

>> DON'T BE WORRIED ABOUTLITHIUM!

>> I ALREADY TOOK THE CYANIDETABLET!

>> THAT'S A SOLVABLE PROBLEM.

IF WE'RE OPTIMISTIC.

IF YOU'RE NOT OPTIMISTIC, YOUWON'T GET ANYTHING DONE.

LET'S BE OPTIMISTIC.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Larry: WELCOME BACK!

I'M HERE WITH MY PANEL.

YOU CAN SEE HIM PERFORMING LIVETHIS FRIDAY AT 8:00 P.M. AT THE

HIGHLINE BALLROOM, "THE NIGHTLYSHOW" CONTRIBUTOR RORY ALBANESE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)YOU CAN SEE HER PERFORM AT THE

NEW YORK COMEDY FESTIVAL THISTHURSDAY AT 7:30 P.M.,

COMEDIENNE AND CABARET PERFORMERBRIDGET EVERETT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)HE'S A GENTLEMAN.

AND HE'S THE C.E.O. OF THEPLANETARY SOCIETY, AND HIS NEW

BOOK "UNSTOPPABLE: HARNESSINGSCIENCE TO CHANGE THE WORLD" IS

OUT TODAY.

BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)AND FOR EVERYONE AT HOME, JOIN

OUR CONVERSATION RIGHT NOW ONTWITTER @NIGHTLYSHOW USING THE

HASHTAG "TONIGHTLY."

NOW, BILL, YOUR BOOK ON CLIMATECHANGE JUST CAME OUT, AND YOU

-- CONGRATULATIONS.

>> THANK YOU.

>> Larry: YOU'RE WELCOME.

I KNOW YOUHAVE YOUR OWN TAKE ON THINGS,

BUT OTHER RESEARCHERS HAVEPREDICTED THERE WILL BE NO FISH

IN THE OCEAN BY 2048.

SEA LEVELS WILL RISE 38 FEET ANDPUT CITIES LIKE NEW YORK

UNDERWATER, AND CLIMATE CHANGEWILL LEAVE OVER HALF A BILLION

PEOPLE HOMELESS.

DO YOU THINK ENVIRONMENTAL SCARETACTICS GO TOO FAR?

(LAUGHTER)>> NO.

>> Larry: I DON'T BELIEVE THATFISH THING, I'M JUST SAYING.

>> THE WORD "NO FISH IN THEOCEAN," HUMANS TAKE A LOT OF

FISH OUT OF THE OCEAN.

BUT HERE'S WHY I SAY THEYHAVEN'T GONE FAR ENOUGH, BECAUSE

WE'RE STILL TALKING ABOUT ITRATHER THAN GETTING TO WORK!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Larry: DID YOU JUST

ACKNOWLEDGE THAT SOME OF IT IS(BLEEP) BUT IT'S EFFECTIVE

(BLEEP)?

>> NO.

WHEN SOMEBODY SAYS -- A COUPLEOF THINGS.

>> Larry: YEAH.

WHEN SOMEBODY SAYS NO FISH INTHE OCEAN, ZERO FISH, THAT'S

KIND OF AN EXAGG RIGHT THERE.

>> Larry: GREAT USE OFABREVE!

THAT'S SCIENCE THERE, MAN!

(LAUGHTER)>> BUT FURTHERMORE, ALSO, IN

ADDITION, TO CONTINUE, FOR THOSEOF YOU INTO SIGNIFICANT DIGITS,

WHEN SOMEONE SAYS 2048 ASOPPOSED TO 2047 OR 2046 1/2 OR

2051 3/4, LET'S TAKE A BIGBREATH, IN 50 YEARS THERE COULD

BE A LOT OF LESS FISH IN THEOCEAN AND WE COULD HAVE A LOT

LESS SUSHI.

>> YOU'RE SCARING ME.

IT DOES SEEM LIKE A HUGEEXAGG.

IF YOU WANT AMERICANS TO BEIMPACTED, YOU SAY, YOU KNOW THIS

SHRIMP AT RED LOBSTER?

IT'S GOING TO END!

(LAUGHTER)OH, MY GOD!

I'M RECYCLING!

>> MY POINT IS WE CAN ADDRESSTHESE PROBLEMS.

WE CAN -- CHANGE THE WORLD!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Larry: AND I ALWAYS WONDER

IF THE AVERAGE PERSON --BRIDGET, THE AVERAGE PERSON --

DOESN'T THE AVERAGE PERSON THINKA LOT OF THINGS ARE TOO MUCH OF

A HASSLE?

IT'S SO HARD TO KEEP SO MANYTHINGS IN OUR HEAD -- RECYCLING.

>> BUT THE BEAUTY ABOUTRECYCLING IS YOU CAN STILL BE A

LAZY ASSHOLE.

YOU CAN GO OUT EVERY FRIDAYNIGHT, GET (BLEEP) FACED,

(BLEEP) IN THE BACK OF THE CAB,BUT WHEN YOU GO HOME, REMEMBER

TO PUT YOUR BOTTLES IN, INSTEADOF THE TRASH --

DON'T PUT THEM IN THE I'M A LAZYBITCH BIN!

>> YOU DON'T HAVE TO CHANGE YOURLIFESTYLE.

>> YOU DON'T.

IN FACT -->> Larry: WHAT DO YOU THINK IS

THE BIGGEST RESISTANCE?

THE BIGGEST RESISTANCE TO THEHONEST CONVERSATION ABOUT

CLIMATE CHANGE?

>> THE FOSSIL FUEL INDUSTRY.

WE LOVE THEM.

WE DEPEND ON THEM.

(APPLAUSE)YEAH, MONEY.

THEY'VE WORKED REALLY HARD TOINTRODUCE THIS IDEA THAT

SCIENTIFIC UNCERTAINTY PLUS ORMINUS .48% IS THE SAME AS PLUS

OR MINUS 100% AND THAT'S WRONG.

WE JUST FOUND MEMOS FROMEXXON -- BEFORE IT WAS

EXXONMOBIL.

>> WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT EXXON, ANEVIL SONG PLAYS --

>> PERFECTLY NORMAL.

(LAUGHTER)>> WE CAN GET ALL TICKED OFF AT

EXXON AND BURY OURSELVES INLEGAL PROCEEDINGS WITH EXXON AND

SHELL AND MOBIL OR WHOEVER ITIS.

BUT LET'S, IN THE MEAN TIME,MOVE FORWARD TO EMBRACE WIND

POWER AND SOLAR POWER.

HALF THE PEOPLE IN THE U.S. LIVEIN THE EASTERN TIME ZONE AND

HUGE UNEXPLOITED ENERGYRESOURCES, WIND OFF THE EAST

CO-HOST COAST.

YOU'VE HEARD ABOUT THECONTINENTAL SHELF?

>> Larry: YES, TALK ABOUT ITEVERY DAY

(LAUGHTER)>> WE CAN PUT WIND

A FULL KILOMETERS -->> KILOMETERS!

WRONG COUNTRY, NYE!

YOU SAID KILOMETERS! YA LOST ME!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKINGABOUT!

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!

METRICS, METRICS!

2,000-TWO-LITER POP BOTTLESSTACKED IN --

>> Larry: THAT'S HOW THECONVERSATION STOPS.

ONE WORD, OH, NO!

>> A COUPLE MILES!

LOT OF PEOPLE THINK CLIMATECHANGE IS LIKE GAY MARRIAGE,

LIKE, ISN'T THAT A PROBLEM WEHAVE IN THIS COUNTRY?

>> WELL, A LITTLE BIT.

I DIDN'T SAY IT WASTRUE!

CALM DOWN!

(LAUGHTER)BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T

BELIEVE IN IT.

>> Larry: NOBODY REALLY BELIEVESTHAT

>> IF YOU SAY SO.

>> Larry: CLIMATE CHANGE.

I FEEL PEOPLE ARE SAYINGHURRICANES ARE CAUSED BY GAY

PEOPLE.

THAT'S REAL.

A CONGRESSMAN IN CALIFORNIA SAIDTHAT, THAT IN TEXAS THEY STOPPED

HAVING SEVERE WEATHER WHEN THEYOUTLAWED GAY MARRIAGE.

CAN YOU PROVE THAT?

CAN'T PROVE A NEGATIVE.

>> SO ALONG THAT LINE --(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

(LAUGHTER)SO ALONG THAT LINE, THAT'S A

FACT.

>> Larry: IS HETEROSEXUALITYLIKE RECYCLING

>> I THINK. WE STILL HAVE TOCONVINCE

HALF THE COUNTRY, GLOBAL WARMINGIS REAL.

>> IT'S LESS THAN THAT BECAUSEMILLENNIALS, THESE KIDS, THEIR

ELECTRIC COMPUTER PHONES, THESEKIDS, THEY ARE VERY CONCERNED

ABOUT CLIMATE CHANGE, BUT IWONDER WHAT THE CONSERVATIVES

ARE GOING TO DO TO ENGAGEMILLENNIALS IN THE NEXT ELEVEN

MONTHS?

THE SOMEBODY IN MARCH ANDFEBRUARY GOING TO GO, OH, YOU

KNOW, I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUTCLIMATE CHANGE AND NOW CHANGED

MY MIND!

REALLY, WOULD THAT WORK?

>> Larry: I DON'T KNOW.

THE OTHER THING ABOUTTEXAS --

>> Larry: MM-HMM...

-- TEXAS GETS 10% OF ITSELECTRICITY FROM THE WIND NOW!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)AND THEY HAVE SO MUCH WIND --

HOW MUCH WIND DO THEY HAVE?

THEY HAVE SO MUCH WIND, THATAFTER 9:00 AT NIGHT, THEY GIVE

IT AWAY!

>> Larry: YEAH.

SO WE COULD EXPLOIT WINDENERGY, ESPECIALLY IN THE

CENTRAL PART OF THE COUNTRY ANDUP THE EAST COAST.

>> Larry: I ALWAYS WONDERED IFELECTRIC CARS WERE TOO UGLY.

>> OH, ELECTRIC CARS ARE SOCOOL!

>> Larry: BEFORE A LONG TIME,PEOPLE ARE, LIKE, OOH, ELECTRIC

CARS!

>> THE EV1, I DROVE IT FOR TWOYEARS!

>> Larry: YOU LIKE THAT?

HOW DOES IT HANDLE WITH APAIR OF TRUCK NUTS ON THE BACK?

(LAUGHTER)>> THEY HAVE A HITCH.

HAVE YOU SEEN A TESLA?

>> TESLAS ARE COOL.

(CHEERING)>> AFTER YOU HAVE AN ELECTRIC

CAR, MY CLAIM -- MY CLAIM -- ISYOU WILL NEVER GO BACK!

THE NUMBER WE LIKE TO THROWAROUND, IT COSTS ABOUT A FIFTH

AS MUCH TO RUN AN ELECTRIC CARAS A GAS-POWERED CAR.

AFTER YOU HAVE AN ELECTRIC CARYOU DON'T WANT A FREAKIN'

GAS-POWERED CAR.

WE HAVE TO ENCOURAGE THEINFRASTRUCTURE.

A STORY I LIKE TO TELL --(LAUGHTER)

MY GRANDFATHER WENT INTO WORLDWAR I --

>> OH, I KNOW THISSTORY.

NO, I DON'T.

>> YOU WOULD BE SHOCKED TO KNOWHE WAS A CHEMIST.

>> Larry: I THOUGHT YOU WEREGOING TO SAY SOMETHING HORRIBLE

(LAUGHTER)>> HE WENT IN ON A HORSE.

JUMPED OFF THE HORSES AND GOT INTHE TRENCHES.

SOUNDS LIKE A VERY STRESSFULTHING.

20 YEARS LATER WHEN THATCONFLICT WAS EXPANDED TO THAT

CHARMING THING WE CALL WORLDWAR II, NOBODY WENT IN ON A

HORSE!

NOBODY!

EVERYTHING CHANGED IN 20 YEARS!

BOOM!

SO 20 YEARS, KIDS, 20 YEARS AGO,WE DIDN'T HAVE THE INTERNET!

WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO ALL DAY?

YEAH, SO, WE COULD CHANGE THEWORLD!

WE CAN DO THIS!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Larry: NO, I AGREE!

MAYBE PEOPLE WOULD STARTPAYING ATTENTION IF MEGYN KELLY

HOPPED ON THE HOOD OF A HYBRID,YOU KNOW, ROLLED AROUND WITH

SOME TEA PARTY, SPREAD>> ON A LITTLE ELECTRIC CAR

>> Larry: WE'RE ONLY ONECOUNTRY, RIGHT?

THE UNITED STATES.

I KNOW THERE IS A LOT WE CAN DOLEADERSHIP-WISE, BUT HOW CAN WE

GET THE REST OF THE GLOBE, ORARE WE THE ONES LAGGING?

>> WE ARE THE ONES LAGGING.

IN MY CLAIM, FURTHERMORE, IF THEU.S. WERE LEADING, EVERYBODY

WOULD BE ON BOARD!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> IS THERE A WAY TO HARNESS

BILL NYE'S CLAPPERS?

WE COULD POWER THE WORLD!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)DOESN'T EVEN MATTER WHAT YOU

SAY!

>> YOU GO TO CHINA, PEOPLE KNOWWHO MICKEY MOUSE IS, THEY KNOW

STARSKY & HUTCH!

I COULD PUT MICKEY MOUSE ON THECAR!

WE EXPORT OUR CULTURE FOR BETTEROR WORSE.

IF WE EXPORTED CULTURE FORENERGY, IF WE WERE THE WORLD

LEADER IN BATTERY TECHNOLOGY ANDSOLAR PANELS, WE WOULD CHANGE

THE WORLD!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)SO SITTING BACK AND SAYING,

WELL, WE'RE NOT DOING ANYTHINGUNLESS INDIA DOES SOMETHING --

>> Larry: WE DIDN'T WHINE LIKETHAT.

>> IT'S AN EXCUSE BY MANY PEOPLETO NOT TAKE ACTION, RIGHT, TO

COMPLAIN ABOUT CHINA'SMISRECKONING OF THEIR COAL

CONSUMPTION, COMPLAIN ABOUTINDIA BURNING THIS AND THAT.

IF WE WERE OUT AND FRONT, MAKINGTHE TURBINES, EXPORTING

(APPLAUSE)-- AND FURTHERMORE, WHAT ARE

PEOPLE REALLY CONCERNED ABOUT?

THE ECONOMY.

THEY'RE CONCERNED ABOUT JOBS.

YOU CANNOT TAKE JOBS TO ERECTWIND TURBINES OFFSHORE.

YOU HAVE TO BUILD THEM HERE!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> I THINK EVERYTHING YOU'RE

SAYING IS RIGHT AND I THINK THECLAPPING CREW OVER HERE IS

BACKING YOU UP.

BUT I THINK, IN REALITY, I FEELLIKE YOU'RE GIVING PEOPLE A LOT

OF CREDIT.

I FEEL LIKE PEOPLE IN AMERICAARE ALSO CONCERNED ABOUT, LIKE,

CHEESE AND, LIKE, NASCAR AND,LIKE, THINGS LIKE -- IN OTHER

WORDS, THERE IS A CULTURE OFCARS AND BIG ENGINES.

>> BY THE WAY, THERE IS NOPRODUCTION.

PRODUCTION GAS POWERED CAR THATCAN OUTPERFORM A TESLA.

>> AND BY THE WAY, I THINK THETESLA WILL CHANGE THAT BECAUSE

THE TESLA IS COOL AS HELL.

>> Larry: HOW DID THIS BECOME ATESLA COMMERCIAL!

(LAUGHTER)>> HOLD ON, IF YOU FEEL LIKE

SENDING A TESLA OVER...

>> Larry: HERE'S THE THING,YOU'RE ALL ABOUT THE EV1, NOW

YOU'RE ON TESLA(LAUGHTER)

>> NO, SO HERE'S THE THING...

LOOK, I'M NOT AN EMPLOYEE OFSpaceX OR TESLA --

>> SINCE YOU'RE SENDING ONE, CANYOU SEND TWO?

(LAUGHTER)>> AND HE'S THE GUY WHO CAME

FROM SOUTH AFRICA AND STAYS INTHE U.S.

THEY SAY WE'RE MAKING ANELECTRIC CAR BETTER THAN A

GAS-POWERED CAR!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

OH, WILL WE HAVE A LITHIUMPROBLEM THEN?

>> BECAUSE WE'RE OVERMININGLITHIUM!

AHHH!

AHHH!

AHHH!

>> WE'LL SOLVE THAT PROBLEM!

HOW?

WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT!

DON'T THROW IN THE TOWEL.

>> DON'T WORRY ABOUT LITHIUM!

I ALREADY TOOK THE CYANIDETABLET!

>> NO, SO THAT'S A SOLVABLEPROBLEM.

IF WE'RE OPTIMISTIC.

IF YOU'RE NOT OPTIMISTIC, YOU'RENOT GOING TO GET ANYTHING DONE.

(APPLAUSE)>> Larry: LET'S BE OPTIMISTIC!

LET'S BE RIGHT BACK!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)