Wednesday, September 24, 2014

  • 09/24/2014

Megan Neuringer, Steve Agee and Nick Thune guess which iPhone 6 meme got the most favorites on Twitter, list #ElderlyWebsites and come up with FAQs for a Bigfoot online forum.

IT'S RAPID REFRESH!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> ALL RIGHT GUYS, LET'S START.

WE HAVE ARE SIX DAYS INTO THEREIGN OF THE IPHONE SIX PLUS AND

ALREADY EMBROILED INCONTROVERSY, BECAUSE THE PHONE

BASCIALLY TURNS INTO A $600BENDY STRAW WHEN YOU SIT DOWN

WITH IT IN YOUR POCKET. HERE'S ADEMONSTRATION OF THAT.

THIS IS SOMEONE BENDING THEPHONE REALLY HARD WITH THEIR

HANDS, SO MY ADVICE IS DON'T(BLEEP) DO THAT.

#BENDGATE HAS BEEN TRENDING ONTWITTER ALL DAY. WHICH OF THE

FOLLOWING #BENGATE GOT THE MOSTFAVS TODAY.

A, AN IPHONE REPAIR KIT. THEREIT IS.

THIS IS GENIUS

B, THERE IS NO IPHONE

C, IPHONE SIX DALI EDITION.

THERE IT IS RIGHT THERE.

WHICH ONE OF THOSE THREE. MEGAN.

>> A?

>> Chris: THE CORRECT ANSWERIS C, SALVADOR DALI IPHONE

EDIITON.

THIS ONE'S GOOD, BUT IT'S NOT ASCOOL AS THE GEORGIA O'KEEFE

IPHONE EIDITON.

OK, FOR BONUS POINTS, WHAT ISTHE NEXT TECHNOLOGY CONTROVERSY

WE CAN EXPECT. MEGAN.

>> WHEN PEOPLE FIND OUT FACEBOOKIS NOT A PRIVATE JOURNAL.

>> IT IS NOT.

OTHER PEOPLE CAN SEE IT AND BEUSED AGAINST YOU IN COURT.

>> MY OCUSINS ARE GONNA BE SOMAD.

>> Chris: YEAH, POINTS.

NOW WHEN YOU THOUGH YOU'VESEEN THE LAST OF PHARRELL AND

HIS BIG OLD HAT, NBA 2K15IMMORTALIZES HIM IN THIS

GENERALIZED ARBY'S LOGO LOOKIN A COURTSIDE SEAT IN THE GAME.

THAT'S RIGHT. SO IF YOU'REPLAYING NBA2K15, YOU CAN

CREATE YOUR CUSTOM CHARACTER,AND IF YOU DOMINATE THE COURT,

YOU MIGHT GET GET THIS STILTEDPROPS FROM PHARRELL. WATCH.

>> WHAT IS UP, MAN, I DIG THIS,MUCH LOVE AND RESPECT.

>> LIKEWISE, YOU TURNED IT UPLATELY AND MAKING A NAME FOR

YOURSELF.

CAUGHT MY ATTENTION FOR SURE.

>> OH, THANKS, MAN.

>> YOU ARE REALLY MAKING A NAMEFOR YOURSELF.

DEFINITELY CAUGHT MY ATTENTION.

I AM HEAVILY MEDICATED RIGHTNOW.

I CAN'T FEEL MY FACE.

MAYBE THIS HAT IS ON TOOTIGHT.

COMEDIANS IF SEDATED VIDEO GAMEPHARRELL COULD SEE YOU NOW,

BALLING SO HARD ON @MIDNIGHT,WHAT WOULD HE SAY. MEGAN.

>> MEGAN, BABY GIRL, YOUPROBABLY ARE A WOMAN UP THERE,

AND YOU DOING A REAL GOOD JOB OFHIDING YOUR MUSTACHE.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> Chris: NICK THUNE.

>> WHAT UP, MAN, I WOULD LIKE TOCOME ON @MIDNIGHT AND DO DICK

JOKES BUT UNFORTUNATELY MARVINGAYE NEVER WROTE ANY.

>> OH.

>> Chris: I GOTTA GIVE YOUPOINTS.

I GOTTA TO GIVE YOU POINTS.

>> HE'S A THEIF!

>> I GOTTA TO GIVE YOU POINTS.

ALL RIGHT, POINTS.

STEVE.

>> HEY, STEVE, YOU ARE GOING TOBE AT THE FORUM? THAT IS CRAZY,

MAN, YOU KNOW, NYQUIL IS NUTS.

>> Chris: POINTS.

>> Chris: ALL RIGHT.

ECCENTRIC FORMER NBA PLAYER ANDFAN PUNCHER RON ARTEST FAMOUSLY

CHANGED HIS NAME TO METTA WORLDPEACE IN 2011.

NOW PLAYING IN CHINA HE ISCHANGING HIS NAME ONCE MORE TO

THE PANDAS FRIEND.

I WISH I WERE MAKING THAT UP,BUT I AM 100 PERCENT NOT MAKING

THAT UP.

WHAT STUPID THING DID THE PANDASFRIEND REVEAL HE IS DOING ON

TWITTER TO MATCH HIS NEW STUPIDNAME.

A, GET DARK CIRCLE TATTOOS OVERHIS EYES LIKE A PANDA FACE

MARKING.

B, WEAR BASKETBALL SHOES WITH APANDA BAREHEAD STICKING OUT FROM

THE TOP.

C, ENDORSE A TRADITIONALMEDICINAL SOUP MADE FROM GROUND

PANDA TESTICLES.

IT CURES A LOT OF COMMONAILMENTS. -- STEVE.

>> NUMBER B.

WEAR BASKETBALL SHOES WITH APANDA BAREHEAD.

>> Chris: YES, STEVE, IT ISNUMBER B.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD!

>> Chris: HERE ISRON/METTA/PANDA'S TWEET ON HIS

NEW SHOES, QUOTE.

THE BEAR IS NOT DETACHABLE,THE TEDDY BEAR IS PERMANENT AND

IS THE PANDA'S FRIEND.

BUT JUST IN CASE YOU AREWORRIED IT IS IN FACT, A

PERMANENT.

WE NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSEDHE WOULD HAVE CHANGED HIS NAME

TO THE PANDAS FRIEND, SO WHATWILL RON ARTEST'S NEXT PERSONA

BE. MEGAN NEURINGER.

>> I GUESS IT WOULD BE ATOSSUP BETWEEN FRUIT ON THE

BOTTOM OR SWEET BABY DIARRHEA.

>> Chris: OK, GOOD.

I LIKE IT, POINTS.

STEVE.

>> HARD ROCK CAFE.

IT'S NOW TIME FOR

THE HASHTAG WARS.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> Chris: NOW, ON THIS DAY IN1979, COMPUSERVE LAUNCHED THE

FIRST EVER CONSUMER INTERNETSERVICE FEATURING SOMETHING

CALLED ELECTRONIC MAIL.

IN HONOR OF COMPUSERVE'S 35THANNIVERSARY, TONIGHT'S HASHTAG

IS #ELDERLYWEBSITES.

#ELDERLYWEBSITES.

EXAMPLES MIGHT BE HIP ADVISOR ORWETSY, OR IMDIABETES.

I'M PUTTING 60-SECONDS ON THECLOCK AND GO. MEGAN NUERINGER.

>> ASK JEEVES IF IT'S TME FOR MYMEDICINE.

>> Chris: OK GOOD, POINTS.STEVE.

>> MY SPACE IS A TINY ROOM IN ANURSING HOME.

>> Chris: WHICH YOU BELONG INFOR EVEN REFERENCING MYSACE.

YES, MEGAN.

>> ALL OF MY FRIEND-STERS AREDEAD.

>> Chris: POINTS, GOOD. NICK.

>> ESPNGO GET OFF MY LAWN!

>> Chris: YEAH, DEFINETLY.STEVE.

>> SCHINDLER'S LIST.

>> Chris: OH, GOD.

>> IT IS LIKE CRAIGSLIST.

>> Chris: STEVE, IT'S ROSHSHASHANA.

>> WHAT'S THAT?

>> Chris: NO POINTS.

NICK.

>> WORLD STAR HIP REPLACEMENT.

>> Chris: GOOD.

POINTS.

PERFECT, PERFECT.

MEGAN.

>> AOL.COM.

>> Chris: POINTS.

NICK.

>> YE OLD BANG BROTHERS.

>> Chris: STEVE.

>> LINKEDIN A COFFIN.

RIGHT NOW IT IS TIME TO PLAY@MIDNIGHT NEON SIGN FUN FOR

KICKS!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> Chris: UGH.

>> OH, I LIKE THAT.

THE SITE WORLDWIDE INTERWEB.COMCOMPILED A LIST OF NEON SIGN

FAILS, BUT WHAT IF THEY'RE NOTFAILS.

DID YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THATINTERWEBS? NO, MAYBE YOU DON'T.

MAYBE JUST A NAME.

THESE ARE A COLLECTION OF SOMEOF THE BOLDEST AND MOST CREATIVE

NEW SMALL BUSINESSES OUT THERE.

SO COMEDIANS, I'M GOING TO GIVEYOU 250 POINTS YOU GIVE ME

SLOGAN FOR THE NEW BUSINESS.

HERE WE GO. FIRST ONE. THISFULLY AIR CONDITIONED SEMEN.

STEVE.

>> MOM, I AM IN HERE!

>> Chris: POINTS.

NICK.

>> NO SHOES, NO SHIRT, AND WEWILL (BLEEP) FASTER.

>> Chris: OK GOOD, POINTS.

NEXT ONE.

THIS CHILD LIQUORS.

YES, CHILD LIQUORS.

NICK.

>> NOW ACCEPTING PAPER ROUTEMONEY.

>> Chris: OH, (BLEEP).

POINTS.

STEVE.

>> FAKE IDs WELCOME.

>> Chris: POINTS. MEGAN.

COME IN TEN TIMES, LOSE CUSTODYON THE 11TH.

>> Chris: POINTS.

NEXT ONE, MILF SELF STORAGE.

MILF SELF STORAGE.

STEVE.

>> WE WILL STORE ANY MILF LIVINGOR DEAD FOR $99.95!.

>> Chris: BUT YOU HAVE TO BRINGIT IN!

>> YOU BRING IT IN.

>> Chris: POINTS.

WAIT ARE YOU SAYING ANY MILF?

>> ANY MILF LIVING OR DEAD,CHRIS.

>> Chris: WHAT ABOUT SOMEWHEREINBETWEEN?

>> THAT COUNTS TOO.

>> Chris: MEGAN.

>> YOU DO THE STORAGE, WE WILL(BLEEP) YOUR MOM.

>> Chris: HEY, POINTS.

GOOD.

NEXT ONE.

BARE FEET HOES, BARE FEET HOES.

>> NICK.

>> BARE FEET HOES, NO SLUTSALLOWED.

>> Chris: POINTS.

STEVE.

>> BARE FEET HOES, FOR ALL YOURBARE FEET AND WHORE NEEDS.

>> Chris: I DON'T WANT TO BUTTHE AUDIENCE IS MAKING ME GIVE

YOU POINTS.

>> THANK YOU.

>> Chris: THE LAST ONE.

LAST ONE.

>> STEVE.

>> POO ENTER, IT IS EXACTLY WHATYOU THINK IT IS.

>> Chris: POINTS STEVE AGEE.

MEGAN NEURINGER.

>> UNDER POO MANAGEMENT.

IT'S IME FOR THE NEXTGAME, FRENCH THE GIRLS AND MAKE

THEM CRY.

FRENCH GIRLS IS A POPULARTUMBLR WHERE USERS POST A

PICTURE AND OTHER USERS DRAW APICTURE IN RESPONSE.

IT'S LIKE ANSEL ADAMS TEXTINGVAN GOGH, IF BOTH OF THEM WERE

TEENAGERS WITH TOO MUCH FREETIME.

SO COMEDIANS, I AM GOING TO SHOWYOU A PHOTO THAT SOMEONE POSTED

ON FRENCH GIRLS AND YOUR JOB ISTO TELL ME IF THE DRAWING POSTED

WAS NICE OR NASTY IN RESPONSE.OK, NICE OF NASTY.

FIRST ONE, THIS ONE, THIS COUCHBRO-TATO NICE OR NASTY?

OH LOOK, IT'S A LITTLE ADVENTURETIME.

HE'S READY FOR ADVENTURETIME. NICK.

>> I'M GONNA GO NICE.

>> ALL RIGHT, LET'S FIND OUT.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> THAT'S AWESOME.

>> Chris: NEXT ONE.

THIS CLEAVAGE PIC. NICE ORNASTY.

MEGAN.

>> IT'S GOTTA TO BE NASTY.

>> Chris: LET'S FIND OUT.

YEP.

YEP.

>> STEVE, IS THIS YOUR BUTT,STEVE?

>> MINE IS SMOOTH.

>> MINE IS LIKE THE ONE ON THELEFT.

>> Chris: LAST ONE.

THIS BLATANT PRODUCT PLACEMENT,IS THE DRAWING NICE OR NASTY?

MEGAN?

>> COME ON, NICE.

>> Chris: YOU THINK IT ISNICE?

>> CHEESE NIPS.

>> Chris: LET'S FIND OUT.

>> THAT'S SO NICE!

GO FAQ YOURSELF.

BFRO.NET OR THE BIGFOOT FIELDRESEARCH ORGANIZATION IS A

WEBSITE WHERE LIKE-MINDEDBIGFOOT ENTHUSIASTS CAN SHARE

IDEAS ABOUT A FICTIONALCREATURE, OR IS HE?

THE FAQ SECTION IS FILLEDWITH QUESTIONS LIKE ARE THEY

DANGEROUS AND DO BIGFOOTS CLIMBTREES.

COMEDIANS, WE THINK THE FAQ THESECTION IS A LITTLE LIGHT SO

GIVE ME AS MANY QUESTIONS FOR THE BFRO AS YOU CAN THINK OF.

I'M GONNA PUT 60 SECONDS ON THECLOCK AND GO STEVE AGEE.

>> WHEN THERE WAS ONLY ONE GIANTSET OF FOOTSTEPS IN THE STAND

WAS BIGFOOT CARRYING ME.

>> Chris: GOD DAMNIT. HOW DAREYOU. AND POINTS.

NICK.

>> I HEARD THAT BIGFOOT WAS ABLETO MAKE $5,000 AT THAT MONTH

JUST BY POSTING ADS IN THENEWSPAPER.

>> Chris: POINTS.

>> IS THAT TRUE?

>> Chris: POINTS, YES.

STEVE.

>> IS IT TRUE BIGFOOT HAD A RIBREMOVED SO HE COULD BLOW

HIMSELF?

>> Chris: I THINK THAT IS RONJEREMY YOU ARE THINKING OF,

BUT POINTS. NICK.

>> IS STEVE AGEE JUST A SHAVEDBIGFOOT?

>> CHRIS: POINTS. BY THE WAY, ITIS NOT VERY SHAVED. STEVE.

>> IS IT TRUE BIGFOOT REFUSES TOWORK WITH CATHERINE HIGEL?

>> POINTS.

MEGAN.

>> WHAT IS A SEX MOVE THAT WILLDRIVE A BIGFOOT ABSOLUTELY WILD

THAT A HUMAN WOMAN CAN SAFELYPERFORM?

>> POINTS.

GOOD.

NICK.

>> I HAVE A GREEK UNCLE WHOMIGHT BE BIGFOOT, IS HE?

>> Chris: OKAY.

POINTS.

STEVE.

>> DID BIGFOOT DO 9/11?