Gina Brillon & Alfred Robles

  • Season 3, Ep 6
  • 11/08/2014

In the season finale, Gabriel Iglesias hosts stand-up from Gina Brillon and Alfred Robles, surprises his friend Martin Moreno with a gift and stars in an Ozomatli music video.

I'm standing righthere in front

of Madness Autoworkswith my buddy John.

This is the season finale, it's the last episode,

and we wanted to do somethingreally, really special,

uh, for the specialman in my life.

That doesn't sound right.No.

My homie Martin.

He's my buddy, he's my friend, and so,

we got Martin his own van.

(laughter)

So, Martin,

say hello to your future ride.

All right, so, basically, thevan is in a lot of trouble.

Let's just take alook right now

just so you guys cansee what's going on.

As you can see, uh, basedon the torn paneling,

uh, somebody tried to escapefrom this van at one point.

So, Mom's blanketis in here.

I don't know what's goingon right here, but, uh...

Martin, nothing butthe best, bro.

Car's 40 plus.Martin's 40 plus.40 plus.

And by the time we're done,they're both gonna look 27.Exactly.

(hydraulic beeping)Tell us, what are you gonnado with the van?

JOHN: Braking system, transmission overhaul,

engine overhaul, bodywork, paint.

It's gonna look nice.It's gonna be pimp.

It's gonna be pimp.

Dude...Wow. You're kidding.

That footage...that footage was actually

from seven months ago.

As you can tell, I still hadthree chins, not one like now.

And somebody like,"He looks bigger right there.

Maybe it's the TV."

No, (bleep). It's the diet.

So, what can I say?

We got the cameras,we got the lights.

I want to take you outside, andshow you what we got, Martin.

Stop it.Come on, let's go, bro.

(crowd cheering)

Watch the monitors.Watch the monitors.

We'll see you. Come on, (bleep).Come on, let's go.

Wow!

That is sick! Wow!

(crowd cheering)

Are you kidding me right now?

Huh? Check out this warriorright here.

Look at this warrior.Wait, wait, wait.

Here, put on the glasses.Put on the glasses.

(laughs)Wow.

Wait. Do the pose.Do the pose.

Do the pose.Do the pose.

Wait, hold on.Hold up. Look.

Wait. There's more. Martin,come check this out over here.

Look it. I know you said

you wanted, like,an A-Team style van,

so that's what we did.

We got the cool, fancy grillright here in the front.

I got your alter egoon this side.

"Dr. Philthy" Nice.

Huh? I'm gonnaget you cards made.

It's gonna be really cool.Check it out.

And there's more, dude.

Look, here's, like,the-the secret window

so that girls can cryfor help from it.(laughs)

Check it outover here, Martin.

Help me with the back.

Check this out.Oh, nice.

(gasps)

Somebody's daughter's gonnaget sacrificed in here.

I hope you guysknow that.

This (bleep) is ridiculous.I can't say...

I can't say thank you.This is ri... This is amazing.

Gabriel, Stand-Up Revolution.

Gracias.I love you, bro.I love you, man.

(bleep) I love you, too.I love you, man!

I love you... (laughs)

We're not joto,but we do love each other.

No offense.

(both laughing)

Hey! (bleep)

Let's go in the van.

(both laughing)

Hey, you guys, this is theperfect way to end the show,

Like, I have a girlfriendof mine.

She's a...She calls herself a cougar.

She's dating a younger guy.

She's like,"I'm a cougar. Rawr."

(chuckles)

I'm like,"You're an idiot. Stop."

I just don't like that.I don't like when women call...

Like, if you're an older womanand you date a younger guy,

good for you-- you can't finda good man, raise one.

It's not my job to judge you.

Not my job.

You got to dowhat you got to do.

But don't liken yourselfto a predatory animal.

Why would you do that?

You like the sound of that,ladies?

You're gonna be so "hard up"for man meat

that you got to hunt it?

And you got to huntthe younger ones

'cause their legs are weakerand they don't run as fast.

(chuckles)

Older guys can sensea crazy chick coming, right?

Like, "Is that Sharon?My knee's acting up."

You guys have been amazing.Thank you so much.

and I startedmaking out with this chick.

(laughter)

Then I startedgrabbing her butt.

And she tells me,"You got to stop.

I got a boyfriend,and I believe in karma."

I told her, "Uh, I thinkwe should have sex.

"I believe in Jesus,

and he'll forgive you."

And my mom, she's, uh...she's out there.

She's real religious.

She's a fanatic,so that makes her crazy.

And when I was younger,she used to tell me,

"You got to go confess.You got the Devil inside you."

I was there every other week.

One time I was there,the father asked me,

"Alfred, is that you again?"

"Yeah."

"All right, Alfred, listen up.

Tell your mom we're fathers;we're not your father."

"Amen, Father."

And we used to go to church.

Mom... My mom usedto take this cup and she used

to get the holy water, andshe used to tell me, "Drink it.

You got the Devil inside me."

I was a little kid,so I used to believe her.

(high-pitched):"What is he doing inside me?

Tell him to leave."

And if you haven't drankholy water,

that (bleep) is nasty.

It tastes like fingers.

One time I got my mom's nail.

(groans)

She was crazy, man!

(upbeat hip-hop music playing)

♪ This is it, this is it,ooh, yeah ♪

♪ Ride on'cause Fluffy is the... ♪

♪ Don't you say that ♪

♪ This is it, this is it,ooh, yeah ♪

♪ Ride on 'causeFluffy is the... ♪♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Don't you say that, say that ♪

♪ Oh, West Coast, get busy

♪ Stay gritty,girls stay giddy ♪

♪ Frisco go to Long Beach,this is for my grown folk ♪

♪ Low rides, dubs,big spokes ♪

♪ Ozo straight mashin' ♪

♪ From the runways of Bellall the way to high fashion ♪

♪ (bleep) rock, keep it crackin''cause it's Cali forever ♪

♪ Let the beat bash in,starch up the white T ♪

♪ Splash on the Old Spice,cougar hunting with Martin ♪

♪ No dice on the bar scene

♪ Trying to get our fade on,40 ounces and smoke screens ♪

♪ You know how we do

♪ Dickies creased up,Chucks be the shoe ♪

♪ Jump in the six-four,cruise to the strip ♪

♪ Flash back to the '90s ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪♪ This is it

♪ This is it, this is it

♪ Ooh, yeah

♪ Ride on'cause Fluffy is the... ♪

♪ Don't you say that, say that ♪

♪ This is it, this is it,ooh, yeah ♪

♪ Ride on,'cause Fluffy is the... ♪

♪ Don't you say that ♪

♪ Now watch DJ Quik come backlike the rapture ♪

♪ I'm elusive, though,I'm tough to capture ♪

♪ Where have I been?Sleeping in a time capsule ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm timeless,give me my Gap, yo ♪

♪ I'll show you how to survive ♪

♪ Bouncing in my Chevrolet,letting you ride ♪

♪ Lounging on microsuede,young cowhide ♪

♪ And you don't know nothingabout that so don't even lie ♪

♪ Double wet paint,clear coat provides ♪

♪ Hot like sparklers,hit the switch and glide ♪

♪ California sunkeeps the dogs alive ♪

♪ But too much sun'llmake them cats go hide ♪

♪ It's all relativeif you know what I mean ♪

♪ I'm the real deal ♪

♪ Get illand cut out the scenelike a director ♪

♪ Drinking IPA beer 'causeeven though Tupac's gone ♪

♪ His producer is here,now what (bleep), man ♪

♪ This is it, this is it

♪ Ooh, yeah

♪ Ride on'cause Fluffy is the... ♪

♪ Don't you say that, say that ♪

♪ This is it, this is it,ooh, yeah ♪

♪ Ride on 'causeFluffy is the... ♪

♪ Don't you say that, say that ♪

♪ Hey, clap two times

♪ 'Cause you knowthat Fluffy's in the place ♪

♪ Oh, take two steps back

♪ Shake it upand put a smile on your face ♪

♪ Oh, throw one finger up,superstar heel stomp Elvis lip ♪

♪ Hey, now, come out the pose

♪ Pelvic thrust'cause you be the... ♪

♪ Hey ♪ This is it ♪

♪ This is it, this is it

♪ Ooh, yeah

♪ Ride on'cause Fluffy is the... ♪

♪ Don't you say that, say that ♪

♪ I rep Cali,time to get the swerve on ♪

♪ Around the world,Dubai to Hong Kong ♪

♪ Long Beach,no place like home ♪

♪ Barbecues, homies,slap them bones ♪

♪ Full circle, full tilt

♪ Pool party at the crib,after party at the Hilt ♪

♪ Oralé, oh, what a day ♪

♪ Martin came throughwith some crooked Tays ♪

♪ Oh, dressed upfor the occasion ♪

♪ Couple pounds of asada,get the grill blazing ♪

♪ Two steps,why you playing? ♪

♪ Get your three steps on 'causeyou done got your fade in ♪

♪ Tequila-- let it flow,but don't Earl it up ♪

♪ Aqui no, no ♪

♪ Uh, yeah, sí, sí,this party is the... ♪♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Get your lean on,this is it ♪

♪ This is it, this is it

♪ Ooh, yeah

♪ Ride on'cause Fluffy is the... ♪

♪ Don't you say that, say that ♪

♪ This is it, this is it

♪ Ooh, yeah

♪ Ride on'cause Fluffy is the... ♪

♪ Don't you say that, say that, say that, say that ♪

♪ Say that, say that, say that, say that, say that... ♪

(music fades)

Hey, you guys, that's our show.