The Doors were the Smash Mouth of their time, according to Jonah Ray, which is to say, they suck. Jonah also delivers nuggets of insight on adult bodies and closet masturbation.
Sean O'Connor shares tales of awkward menage a trois makeout sessions, how titty glitter saved the Ke$ha concert and how he inadvertently became a porn star.
Joe DeRosa laments life's cruelties. Sexy nurses and female cops are a myth. Scientists doing vital work get zero respect. And white wine? It tastes like salad dressing.
Erik Griffin lays out why it's a supremely bad idea to see a movie on a date, to date a woman 20 years your junior and to question character decisions in horror flicks.