Twitter users take potshots at U.S. gymnast Gabby Douglas, and Larry compares the flaws of Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump with Ana Marie Cox, Ricky Velez and Rory Albanese.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much!
Thank you very much!Thank you. So kind.
-Please have a seat.-(crowd shouting "Larry!")
Welcome to The Nightly Show!
They are correct.I am Larry Wilmore.
Man, what-what a fun crowdtonight.
-(whooping)-We got so much,
so much going on in this crowd.
We got a little preggershappening,
we got a little Star Trek and office fight going on.
But tonight we're gonna talkabout infinity.
-(cheering and applause)-Okay, so... No.
This is w... She said...
I swear to God... So, you guysdon't get to hear these.
"Larry, what do you thinkabout infinity?" (groans)
This is the question.
I just think if it werea little shorter, I'd be for it.
That's it.Okay, so, the other night,
we reported that the fatherof the Orlando massacre gunman
was spotted behind HillaryClinton at a campaign rally
in Florida, right? Okay, now,
optics are very importantin this election, right?
Which is why Trump didn't wasteany time
in attacking Hillary for this.
And, by the way,speaking of that,
wasn't it terrible...
Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Wait a second.
Before I show you the restof this clip,
I have to do two things.First, I have to point out
that sitting directly behindTrump is Mark Foley.
Remember Mark Foley?
He's the ex-Florida congressmanwho resigned in disgrace
ten years ago for sexuallyharassing underaged boys, right?
Yeah, that's the guy.
Well, there he issitting right behind Trump.
Nice. In the very same spotonscreen
as the Orlando shooter's father.
Thank you, irony gods.
Oh, and the second thingI have to do...
is take outthis bucket of popcorn
so I can savor all thedelicious, butter-soaked irony.
Roll the clip, please.
Wasn't it terrible
when the fatherof the animal that killed
-the wonderful people...-Uh-huh, mm-hmm.
-in Orlando...-Yeah, right.
was sitting with a big smile
-on his face...-Look, look at that guy.
-right behind Hillary Clinton?-Look, look, look, look, look.
-And by the way...-Look, look, look, look.
including a lotof the people here--
how many of you people know me?A lot of you people know me.
Can you even believe this?
I can't even believe it.Seriously...
-(cheering, applause)-No, it's so...
so much fun.
I mean, if this were in a movieI would leave the theater,
because it seemstoo unrealistic.
And I recentlysat through 90 minutes
of Kevin Spaceyswitching bodies with a cat.
All right. All right, now,there's been a lot of talk
in the last couple years aboutthe systemic racism that exists
in many of America'spolice departments.
Uh, what is your takeon this, America's
most beloved anti-blackblack sheriff, David Clarke?
Do we know...
the American law enforcementofficers are racist?
There is no data.
There is no research
that provesany of that nonsense. None.
Okay, angry Common, calm down.
A little bit,a little bit, right?
A little bit. Okay.
All right,that was a month ago.
Well, guess what,black Yosemite Sam?
We... we got some data,we got some research,
and it proves that whatyou're saying is nonsense.
Let's get to Baltimoreand this, uh, scathing report
from the department of justice
about the Baltimore citypolice department.
Officers routinelyviolated people's--
particularly African-American's-- civil rights.
There you have it--first Ferguson,
now another DOJ report confirmsracial bias in policing.
All right, you know for more,let's turn to Mike Yard
with the No (bleep) News.
-♪ -(cheering, applause)
Hey, Mike. So, uh...
so, Mike, uh, the DOJhas reported
that the Baltimore PDis riddled with racism.
Yeah, no (bleep), Larry.
Thank you, Mike,for that in-depth analysis.
That's Mike Yard and theNo (bleep) News, everybody.
-Thank you very much.-(cheering, applause)
That's a ver... very shortyet efficient news program.
All right, let's dig intothe stats in this report,
because the proof is inthe implicitly biased pudding.
Blacks make up 60%of Baltimore's drivers
but account for 82%of traffic stops.
Indeed, one African-American manwas stopped 30 times
in less than four years,with none of the stops
resulting in a citationor a criminal charge.
They pulled this brother over30 times in less than four years
and then you wonder why blackpeople are late all the time.
CP time-- cop pull over time.
Not my fault.
Now, on the one hand, you know,I feel for this brother,
but on the other hand,after the 30th time,
he's finally won a couponfor one free crime.
Murder not included.
Oh, and don't worry,Baltimore police bias
even comes with a fun twist.
Baltimore police, uh,disproportionately
stop African-Americans intraffic stops looking for drugs,
even though the policeare more than twice as likely
to find drugs on white people.
Okay, now we go backto Mike Yard
and the (bleep) Please News.
Hey, Mike, are you surprisedthat the Baltimore police
in traffic stops lookingfor drugs even though the police
are more than twice as likelyto find drugs on white people?
-(bleep), please.-All right.
That was Mike Yard with the(bleep) Please News, everybody.
Thank you, Mike.
People are like, "I thinkLarry likes that word."
Okay, what else, Baltimore PD?
Baltimore, a citythat is 63% black...
Of the 410 pedestrians who werestopped at least ten times
in the five and a half yearsof data reviewed,
95% were black.
Look, how do the policeexpect us to trust them
when we're stoppedfor walking while black
or talking while black
or sitting on our own stepswhile black?
I'm just surprisedno one got arrested
for getting arrestedwhile black.
You were getting arrested,weren't you, boy?
You stole them handcuffs,didn't you? Yeah.
But wha... I don't know.
But what's so crazy about thebehavior detailed in the report
is how transparent it is.This is true, guys.
So, listen to... to this storyabout a sergeant and an officer
who's doing a ride-along
with the DOJ rep in the car.
The sergeant told himto get the people
off the corner, disperse them.
And the officer said,"Well, I-I don't
have a reason to do that."
The sergeant said,"Make one up."
What the (bleep)?!
He said, "Make one up"
while the DOJ guy--
who was investigatingpolice corruption--
was sitting right there.
But that's how normalizedthis corruption is.
I mean, look, it's likeif you're filing your taxes
with the IRS agentsitting next to you and you say,
"Hey, man, can you hand methose dummy receipts?"
Daddy wants somecash back, you know?
What... It doesn't make... Aah!
But it turns out there'sa history to Baltimore culture
of overpolicing, and the reportsuggests it points to one man.
REPORTER:It blames nobody in particular,
but it does blame the city'szero-tolerance policing,
which was institutedback in 1999
under the, uh, directionof then-mayor Martin O'Malley.
Remember him-- that hunky,young, instantly forgettable
presidential candidatewho, uh...
Wait, what was he again?
I already lost it.
Oh, yeah-- O'Malley, O'Malley.
Uh, instituted this policyof zero-tolerance policing,
which meant cracking downon minor crimes
in the hopes of catchingmajor crimes.
And, indeed, Mayor O'Malley'szero-tolerance policy
led to a huge surgein arrests over the years.
Arrests in the year 2005soared to 108,000.
That's the equivalent of one...
of one-sixthof this city's population.
Look, Baltimore police,you arrested 100,000 people.
So, clearly, you're not lazy.
Just, next time try arresting100,000 people
who actuallydid (bleep), maybe?
-I mean...-(cheering, applause)
Just a thought.
But that's whythese-these DoJ investigations
are crucial to proving to theFox News sheriffs of the world
that there really is a problemwith policing in America.
But I just wish we could stopusing our resources
to prove something the blackcommunity has been saying
is true for decadesand instead use those resources
to actually find solutions.We'll be right back.
(cheering and applause)
She has all the mon...
Thank you! Thank you very much!Welcome back!
Now, the 2016 Summer Olympicsare in full swing,
which means sports fanshave lots to celebrate
and argue about online.So here to fill us in
on who deserves gold and groansthis week
is Nightly Show ContributorFranchesca Ramsey
with another installmentof Hash It Out.
-♪ -(bird tweets)
This year's U.S. women'sgymnastics team
made us all proud by taking homethe gold for team all-around.
(cheering and applause)
But before we could even startcelebrating this epic win,
Twitter had a meltdownbecause Gabby Douglas
didn't put her handover her heart
during the national anthem.
Take a lookat some of these tweets.
"If Gabby Douglasis not patriotic enough
"to honor her country then sheneeds to find another sponsor
and go home with them."
Not patriotic enough?
Homegirl literally didbackflips wearing
our nation's flagcovered in rhinestones.
And I don't carewhat you say, sir,
there is nothing more patriotic
than a choreographed tributeto the Bedazzler.
"How dare Gabby Douglasnot put her hand on her heart
"for the Americannational anthem!
Kick her out of the Olympics?
Ugh, there's no waythis guy could get any worse.
Or so I thought until I sawhis Twitter profile.
But I guess I'm not surprisedthat a Trump supporter wants
to deport a brown person doingwork he's not qualified to do.
(cheering and applause)
Look, she'scompletely showing respect
by standing there proudlyduring the national anthem.
How 'bout you show some respect
for somebodywho made it possible
for the national anthem to beplaying in the first place?
(cheering and applause)
And maybe, maybe Gabby's armswere tired.
Do you knowhow much energy you expend
doing (bleep) Olympic-levelgymnastics?
Hell, this is me after walkingup four flights of stairs.
But the national anthem backlashwasn't even the worst of it.
Twitter took the gold medalin petty
when people started draggingGabby for her hair.
"I just want a black girl to doGabby Douglas' hair, bro.
That's it." Guess what, bro,
a black girl did Gabby's hair,Gabby.
"How does Gabby Douglas' mothereven let her be
on national television withthose edges looking like that?"
"Gabby Douglas got moneyand them edges horrible!"
No, what's horribleis them grammar you got.
(cheering and applause)
Let me just explain edges.
"Edges" is another wordfor "hairline."
And when it comes to black womenand hair, edges are a big deal.
Do you have them?Did Beyonchés...
Beyoncé snatch themwith her fierceness?
It's pretty serious stuff.
So why are people criticizingGabby's edges?
Well, according to Twitter,
they don't look nice enoughfor the Olympics.
Gabby's competing inthe Olympics, not a hair show.
You try doingthe uneven bars routine
with a helicopter on your head.
It's nearly impossible.
If Gabby was worriedabout keeping her edges laid,
she wouldn't be at the Olympics.
She'd be on the couchtalking (bleep) with you.
(cheers and applause)
You at home,she at the Olympics.
Plus, your hairline's boundto get a little fuzzy
when you're breaking a sweatand breaking world records.
Franchesca Ramsey, everybody.
-We'll be right back.-(cheers and applause)
First up, Nightly Show contributor
-Ricky Velez. -(applause andcheering) -Larry! Larry! Larry!
Nightly Show contributorRory Albanese.
-(applause and cheering)-Larry! Larry! Larry!
And she's the seniorpolitical correspondent
-for MTV News-- Ana Marie Cox.-(applause and cheering) -Wow.
And for everyone at home,join our conversation right now
on Twitter @NightlyShowusing the hashtag #Tonightly.
-Man, what a crowd.-VELEZ: It was at that.
What a crowd tonight. I know.
All right, another batch
of e-mailsinvolving, um, Hillary Clinton,
surfaced this week raisingquestions about the relationship
between the Clinton Foundationand the State Department
while Clinton wasSecretary of State.
Okay, please tell me.
Is this much ado about thesame thing, or-- I don't know--
are these e-mails really goingto be a problem?
Oh, well, I mean,they may be a problem,
-but it is much ado aboutthe same thing. Uh... -Mm-hmm.
WILMORE: Which is much adoabout something,
or much ado about nothing?
'Cause we can't figurethis (bleep) out.
Well, the problem is...the problem is
that not only is it much adoabout the same thing,
but it is the same thing
that's been going onfor over 200 years.
I mean, this kind ofso-called corruption.
ALBANESE:We have not had e-mail
-for 200 years.-Well, that's right.
I'm sorry. I don't mean
-to fact-check you so quickly,-Touché, but you know, like,
James Madison's private,like, parchment paper.
-WILMORE: Right. Yeah.-You know.
-ALBANESE: Yes, yes, yes,of course. -If he was doing...
WILMORE:Oh, I got a response
-from Caesar. -Yeah.-It's pretty real so...
-Don't hit "reply."-No, the point is, like,
this kind of corruption iscompletely, like...
And I guess, I mean, I will usethe word corruption...
-Political favoring you'retalking. -Political favoring...
-Yes. -...is somethingthat the founders expected.
-Mm.-It is something
that they sort of built into,you know, the program.
-Mm-hmm. -I've been saying Iwish this was the most important
-topic for usto be talking about. -Right.
Like, I would loveto have an election
in which who is themost corrupt was the most...
-was the only thing we weretalking about, right? -Mm-hmm.
Like, to judge one person'scorruptions over another.
-Right. -I would loveto have an election
where one person wasn't corrupt.
Who's corrupt, and who's justbat (bleep) crazy?
Right. Well, see, but, so,what I'm saying, like...
-I think we know. -...so thefounders expected favor trading.
-Mm-hmm.-They didn't expect, you know,
-a psychopathic narcissist.-Mm-hmm.
Like, they didn't...
You know, democracy is builtto handle a lot of things,
-but not Donald Trump.-Does his insanity...?
-(laughter)-Yes, I just said it, right.
Does it make it seemlike this is nothing, then?
I mean, does it make...?
I think... it's not...
-It's not that it's nothing.Like, I mean... -Mm-hmm.
I think we need to holdHillary Clinton accountable.
I think that she tends to havea rightward drift personally.
-Mm-hmm. -And that she tendsto sort of have her...
uh, centrist accommodatingmentality to things.
And we've seen thatthroughout her career.
But she needs to be watched.She does.
But she's also capable...
-WILMORE: Well, not...-VELEZ: She needs
to stop writing e-mails.
That is whatshe needs to start doing.
-(laughter) -That's a goodpoint. -That's a point.
-She... she needs...-Just get a...
(applause and cheering)
WILMORE:Go off line?
She needs to cut off online.
She needs, like,carrier pigeons,
or, like, that ravenfrom The Game of Thrones.
-WILMORE: Mm-hmm. -(laughter)-Yes! That'd be sick.
No, that'd be sick.
It was like, you know,"Madame President,
-the raven has arrived."And they're like... -(laughter)
Um, I think, I agree, though,'cause it feels like
It's like we're picking betweentwo turds, so it's, like,
which turd is less corrupt?Because to me...
COX: And one turd is, like,carrying cholera.
ALBANESE:Yeah, because, no, I could...
Like, one turd is,like, massive...
-ALBANESE: Yeah, 'cause I...-WILMORE: Oh, God.
ALBANESE: No, I keep lookingat it like this.
-I... honestly.-This is horrible.
I look at this election likethis, which is like
we're being presented with liketwo ways to die,
and one is light yourselfon fire-- Donald Trump--
and the otheris sleeping pills.
And you're like,I'll go with sleeping pills.
-You know what I mean?- COX: Well, I mean....
No, because that way my facewon't melt.
I don't want my face to melt,you know?
-I just want to like, notwake up. -COX: I understand
the whole like, this is thelesser of two evils thing,
but then, this is actually a,uh...
I'd put it morein the context of,
this is a kind of problem
that democracy knowshow to handle,
-WILMORE: Yeah. -which is inthe case of Clinton.
-WILMORE: Right.-And this is a person
who does not knowhow to handle democracy.
-This is a person who...-VELEZ: Nice.
-I like how you did that.-ALBANESE: Yeah.
-I've been think being it.-Yeah.
-That's a very good distinction.-Yeah.
Uh, why-why does it seemlike the Clintons
keep having this issue, though?
-VELEZ: Because they lie.-This particular issue.
They lie, man.
I started a drinking game--every time a Clinton lies...
-I've been (bleep) up, man.-(laughing)
- I'm been wasted.-(applause)
No, they are... they do feellike corrupt people.
They... they feel corrupt,
but, like, you know...but there's a part of that
that makes you go well,we've had some, you know,
some pretty corrupt peoplerun the country,
and if Hillary is the mostcorrupt,
she may be the best presidentever, you know what I mean?
That could... that's her chance.
She gets that cho... and there'salso a thing
about this reaction to Trumpwhere they say, like,
people want to, like,shake up the system,
and it's like, yeah,there's definitely issues
with the system,but the infrastructure
of this country is pretty good.
Like, when we poop, it just goesaway, you know what I mean?
-That's true.-Like, no, and, like,
a lot of countries,when they poop,
they just like... it's in thekitchen, you know?
What are you going to do?
But here, it just magically...like, I don't know.
I don't know where it goes.
This sounds like the start of athird party candidacy right now.
"Vote for Rory--your poop will go away."
Yeah. Well... no.
Will continue to go away.
Well, no, there is a lot, I meana lot of what you are saying,
I-I understand where, um,
corruption is intrinsicallyin the system
and has been in there.
It's part of what politics is.
A lot of people--I think a lot of people,
when they ask forestablishment change,
they just don't want to seewhat's in the hot dog
that they're eating and thatthey're currently enjoying.
We actually... we know exactlywhat's in Hillary's hot dog.
-That's what he said?-I-I don't know.
-I-I-I'm new at this.-I kind of forgot who said it.
No, there's a Bill Clinton jokethere, but let's not...
Yeah, you guys are the pros--I don't want to...
But it is true that meansshe is the devil we know.
And she's also, like,that's true
of almost everyother politician.
-Do you think she is a devil,though? -No.
I have I to push back againstthat, 'cause...
I think she made a dealwith him.
Well, that's possible.
That's possible,that's possible.
And sometimes you need to do
some jobs for him along the way,you know?
That's possible.You're right.
But I think there isa perception problem
with Hillary, definitely,
and I wanted to give youan example.
Chris Shays, I think,an ex-congressman,
this is what he saidabout Hillary Clinton,
and he's a Republican.
Let's just play that real quick.
But I remember when I workedwith her when she was a senator.
She was a pleasure to work with.
She was gracious.
She was smart.
She did her homework.
'Cause you're not runningfor office you can say this.
But this is someonewho's worked with Hillary,
has this experience.
She's smart. She's great.But then...
I think most-most Republicansusually run against her
saying she's part of the system.
She knows the system.
She manipulates the system,which is actually--
Yeah, but that's like sayingthis surgeon has done surgery.
(cheers and applause)
He stitched up people,he...
-It doesn't make sense, right?-(cheering)
-That's how a lot of people die.-I want a surgeon that's never
performed surgery working on me.
That describes the RepublicanParty health-care plan, right.
She's going to be our president.
Like I mean-- she's... whoo.
Get over it.
She's winning all the states.
She has all the mon...
-It's the (bleep) we've beenhanded. -WILMORE: Yeah.
And it's staying in the kitchen.
But our poop is going away,but our poop is going away.
I think there is a lot of poopin this country
that's staying rightwhere it is.
We'll be right back.
I have no idea what that means.
I have I no ideawhat that means.
YARD: If you live in New York City or are planning to visit
grab tickets to The Nightly Show.