January 30, 2014 - Drew Brees

  • 01/30/2014

The NFL rethinks their marijuana policy, football might cause brain damage, the mayors of Denver and Seattle root for their home team, and Drew Brees talks "Playoff Face Off."

Captioning sponsored by COMEDY CENTRAL

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Stephen: WHOOO!

WELCOME TO THE REPORT, LADIESAND GENTLEMEN.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

>> STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN.

>> Stephen: THANK YOU SOMUCH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEINGHERE, IN HERE, OUT THERE.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, COLBERTNATION, ONE AND ALL, IT IS THE

FINAL NIGHT OF MY EPIC, SUPERBOWL COVERAGE.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

I'M PROUD TO SAY, FOLKS, I AMPROUD TO SAY IT HAS BROUGHT A

LOT OF NEW VIEWERS TO THE SHOW--MAINLY OWLS.

AT LEAST NOW SOMEONE IS WATCHINGOUR 1 A.M. RERUN.

FOLKS, I'M AFRAID WHAT I LEARNEDTHIS WEEK ISN'T ALL SUNSHINE AND

RAINBOWS BECAUSE THERE'S ANOMINOUS CLOUD WAFTING OVER

FOOTBALL.

>> A NEW PUSH TO ALLOW MEDICINALMARIJUANA USE IN THE NFL.

>> SHOULD THE NFL REEXAMINE ITSMARIJUANA POLICY?

>> WE'RE WILLING TO TAKE A LOOKAT MEDICAL MARIJUANA IF THERE IS

PROOF THAT IT COULD HELP SOME OFOUR PLAYERS, I THINK THAT'S

SOMETHING THAT WE SHOULDEXPLORE.

>> Stephen: YOU CAN'T HAVEMARIJUANA IN FOOTBALL.

NO!

THOSE PLAYERS WILL BE SO HIGH,THEY'LL FORGET TO TAKE THEIR

PERCOCET.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )AND FOLKS, FOLKS--

( CHEERS )NFL COMMISSIONER ROGER GOODELL

IS NOT HELPING.

>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING TODEVELOP AS FAR AS THE NEXT

OPPORTUNITY IN MEDICINE TOEVOLVE, AND TO HELP THEM DEAL

WITH PAIN OR TO HELP WITHINJURIES, BUT WE WILL TRY TO

CONTINUALLY SUPPORT THEEVOLUTION OF MEDICINE.

( LAUGHTER )>> Stephen: THAT WAS A CLEAR

ENDORSEMENT OF MARIJUANA.

( APPLAUSE ).

>> Stephen: BECAUSE THATSTATEMENT--

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )THAT STATEMENT WAS SO RAMBLING,

HE HAD TO BE HIGH.

FOLKS, THIS IS REEFER MADNESS.

AFTER HITTING THE PRESCRIPTIONPIPE, PLAYERS WON'T WANT TO HIT

THEIR OPPONENTS ANYMORE.

THEY'LL JUST INCAPACITATE EACHOTHER WITH MIND-BLOWING SCIENCE

FACTS.

"DUDE, DUDE, DID YOU KNOW THATALL THE GOLD IN THE CHAMPIONSHIP

RING WAS CREATED IN A SUPERNOVABILLIONS OF YEARS AGO?"

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )FOLKS, POT IS NOT THE ONLY

THREAT FOOTBALL FACES.

SO IS THE SELFISH CONCERN SOMEPEOPLE HAVE FOR THEIR FELLOW

MAN'S SKULL MEAT.

( LAUGHTER )JUST BECAUSE OF SOME CRACKPOT

THEORY THAT HUGE MEN COLLIDINGAT

FULL SPEED MIGHT BE DANGEROUS.

>> THE GROWING AWARENESS OF HEADINJURIES IS PERHAPS THE BIGGEST

CRISIS FACING THE NFL.

>> YOU HAVE A NUMBER OFINDEPENDENT SCIENTISTS SEPARATE

FROM NFL DOCTOR THAT HAVE BEENSAYING FEBRUARY YEARS THERE ARE

CONNECTIONS BETWEEN REPETITIVEBRAIN TRAUMA, REPETITIVE TRAUMA

FROM FOOTBALL AND THEPOSSIBILITY OF GETTING LONG-TERM

BRAIN DAMAGE.

>> ACCORDING TO ESPN SPORTSSCIENCE, BIG BLOWS LIKE THIS CAN

BE THE EQUIVALENT OF TAKING ASLEDGEHAMMER TO THE HEAD.

>> Stephen: OH, THEY WORRYABOUT THE NFL, YET NOBODY IS

PROTESTING THE NATIONALSLEDGEHAMMER LEAGUE.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

COME ON.

LOOK, DON'T GET ME WRONG.

DON'T GET ME WRONG, LADIES ANDGENTLEMEN.

I'VE GOT NOTHING AGAINST BRAINS.

SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS HAVETHEM.

( LAUGHTER )BUT YOU CANNOT SCRAP FOOTBALL

OVER BRAIN DAMAGE.

JUST ASK THE BRAIN DAMAGED.

>> THIS IS AN AMERICAN PASTIME.

I MEAN, IT'S REALLY TIED IN FORSO MANY YEARS WITH OUR

TRADITION.

IT'S SAD, BUT AT THE SAME TIME--I MEAN, WE ALL LOVE TO WATCH IT.

>> FOR ME AND FOR MILLIONS OFOTHERS, WE GET TOO MUCH PLEASURE

OUT OF WATCHING THIS.

>> IN THIS DAY AND AGE, PEOPLEARE NOT VERY HAPPY WITH THEIR

LIVES.

THE ONE THING THEY'VE GOT TOLOOK FORWARD TO IS FOOTBALL.

>> Stephen: YES, SOMEPEOPLE'S LIVES ARE SO BLEAK,

STUCK IN A SOUL-CRUSHING ANDPOINTLESS JOB, SURROUNDED BY

COWORKERS WHO DON'T RESPECTTHEM, THAT THE ONLY BRIGHT SPOT

IS LAYING ON THE COUCH IN ANACHO-INDUCED COMA JUST PRAYING

BY THE GRACE OF GOD THEY'LLCHOKE ON A CHICKEN WING AND END

IT ALL.

YOU CAN'T TAKE THAT AWAY.

IT'S HIS ONLY HOPE.

BESIDES--( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

BESIDES, IF WE CAN'T WATCHPEOPLE HURT THEMSELVES, IT WOULD

CRIPPLE CABLE TELEVISION.

NO MORE "HORDERS."

NO MORE "DEADLIEST CATCH."

NO MORE "ICE ROAD TRUCKERS," OR"MAN VS. FOOD."

ALL WE'LL BE LEFT WITH IS Q.V.C.

>> 1860 IS THE ITEM NUMBER ONTHIS ONE.

AND THE NICE THING ABOUT THESE--OH!

THAT HURT!

( LAUGHTER )OH, THAT HURT BIG TIME.

A PIECE OF THAT JUST-- THE TIPJUST GOT ME ODELL.

( LAUGHTER )OH, THAT GOT ME GOOD.

>> YOU ALL RIGHT?

>> A PIECE OF THAT TIP JUST GOTME.

>> WE MAY NEED EMERGENCY SURGERYIN THE STUDIO.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

>> Stephen: HE WILL BEMISSED.

( LAUGHTER )THE POINT IS THERE IS NOTHING TO

WORRY ABOUT IN FOOTBALL.

HERE TO WORRY ABOUT IT ARE THEAUTHORS OF "LEAGUE OF DENIAL,"

STEVE FAINARU, AND MARKFAINARU-WADA.

GENTLEMEN, THANK YOU SO MUCH FORJOINING ME.

ALL RIGHT, GENTLEMEN.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

NOW, YOU GUYS HAVE RUINEDFOOTBALL.

ALL RIGHT.

ARE YOU GOING TO BE WATCHING THEGAME ON SUNDAY?

>> ABSOLUTELY.

>> Stephen: OKAY, LET'S HEARYOUR ARGUMENT.

WHAT IS HAPPENING, DO YOU SAY,TO THE BRAINS OF THESE PLAYERS?

>> THE POINT OF THE BOOK WAS TOLAY OUT TWO DECADES' WORTH OF

DENIAL BY THE LEAGUE.

WHEN THEY WERE CONFRONTED WITHTHE SUGGESTION THAT, YOU KNOW,

FOOTBALL WAS POSSIBLY CAUSINGBRAIN DAMAGE, THEY WOULD SAY

IT'S NOT REALLY AN ISSUE.

WE DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT.

THEY CREATED THEIR OWN COMMITTEETO STUDY THIS ISSUE.

>> Stephen: YES, THEY DID D.

>> THEY APPOINTED ARHEUMATOLOGIST TO HEAD THE

COMMITTEE NOT A BRAIN PERSON.

>> Stephen: WHAT'S WRONG WITHA RHEUMATOLOGIST?

THE BRAIN IS NOTHING BUT A SKULLLIGAMENT.

( LAUGHTER )RIGHT?

HOLDS THE TWO SIDES OF THE SKULLTOGETHER, CONNECT THE TWO SIDES

OF THE SKULL.

>> THERE YOU GO.

>> Stephen: WHO SHOULD THEYHAVE BROUGHT IN?

>> WELL, AT THE TIME THERE WEREA NUMBER OF NEUROSCIENTISTS WHO

WERE ACTUALLY TRYING TO GET THELEAGUE'S ATTENTION.

SOME OF THEM ACTUALLY WORKED INTHE LEAGUE.

THEY LOVED FOOTBALL.

ONE OF THEM HAD WORKED FOR THEPITTSBURGH STEELERS.

A NEUROPATHOLOGIST AT BOSTONUNIVERSITY WAS A HUGE FOOTBALL

FAN.

AND THEY WERE TRYING TO TELL THENFL THAT THIS WAS A PROBLEM.

AND IN RESPONSE, THE NFLATTACKED THOSE PEOPLE, TRIED TO

DISCREDIT THEM.

>> Stephen: THAT'S NOTENTIRELY TRUE.

THE NFL TOOK ACTION.

THEY'VE CHANGED THE RULES.

THEY'VE CREATED THIS FUND WITH$765 MILLION TO TAKE CARE OF THE

PLAYERS' HEALTH NEEDS.

WHY ARE YOU SAYING THEY ARE INDENIAL?

>>IT'S INTERESTING.

WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE WAY THELEAGUE HAS DEALT WITH THIS OVER

TIMES, THERE IS CERTAINLY A MOVETHEY'VE MADE, BUT WHEN THE

COMMISSIONER IS ASKED, IS THEREA CONNECTION BETWEEN FOOTBALL

AND BRAIN DAMAGE, HE SAYS THESAME THING HE SAID FOUR YEARS

AGO WHEN HE GOT HAMMERED BEFORECONGRESS, WE'LL LET THE MEDICAL

PEOPLE DECIDE THAT.

THE MEDICAL PEOPLE ALREADYDECIDED THAT.

>> YOU GET YOUR MEDICAL PEOPLE,I'LL GET MY MEDICAL PEOPLE.

>> THAT'S SORT OF WHAT THEY DID.

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THEY DID.

>> Stephen: OKAY, ISN'T THEREA POINT AT WHICH WE MAKE THINGS

TOO SAFE?

ALL SPORT ARE DANGEROUS ON ACERTAIN LEVEL, AREN'T WE?

YOU DIDN'T SEE THE ANCIENTROMANS WORRYING ABOUT THE BRAIN

DAMAGE THE CHRISTIANS AND THELIONS, OKAY.

( LAUGHTER )SO HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN ATTACKED

BY NFL?

HAVE YOU BEEN ATTACKED BY THENFL?

BECAUSE DOCTORS WERE ATTACKED.

HAVE YOU PERSONALLY BEENATTACKED BY THE NFL?

>> WELL, THE NFL, FROM THE VERYBEGINNING, HAS NOT BEEN

COOPERATIVE WITH OUR RESEARCH.

THEY-- THEY REALLY JUST REFUSEDTO BE-- TO BE INTERVIEWED.

THERE WAS A FRONTLINEDOCUMENTARY THAT WAS MADE IN

CONJUNCTION WITH OUR BOOK.

AT THE VERY END OF TOUREMPLOYER, ESPN, PULLED OUT OF

THE PARTNERSHIP OF THATDOCUMENTARY, AND THEN IT WAS--

AND THEN NEWS CAME OUT THAT ITWAS AFTER MEETING WITH THE NFL,

THE IMPLICATION WAS THAT THEREWAS PRESSURE APPLIED BY THE NFL

TO PULL OUT OF OUT OF THEDOCUMENTARY.

SO THE NFL HAS BEEN-- YOU KNOW,THEY'VE BEEN UNCOOPERATIVE, I

WOULD SAY.

IWE'RE PROVIDING INFORMATIONTHAT THEY PROBABLY DON'T WANT

PEOPLE TO KNOW.

>> Stephen: DO YOU EVER WISHYOU HAD TAKEN ON AN ORGANIZATION

THAT IS LESS VINDICTIVE, LIKEMAYBE THE MAFIA OR TAYLOR SWIFT?

( LAUGHTER )( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

WELL, STEVE, MARK, THANK YOU SOMUCH FOR JOINING ME.

STEVE FAINARU AND MARKFAINARU-WADA.

THE BOOK IS "LEAGUE OF DENIAL."

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK.

NATION, YOU KNOW, I GOT TO SAY,I THINK SOMETHING'S GOING TO

HAPPEN BECAUSE I KIND OF THOUGHTI KNEW EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO

KNOW, BUT I HAVE LEARNEDABSOLUTELY SO MUCH ABOUT

FOOTBALL THIS WEEK.

FOR INSTANCE, IN FOOTBALL,DRIBBLING IS CALLED FUMBLING,

AND GETS YOU FIRED FROM SPORTS.

BUT I'VE ALSO LEARNED THAT THESUPERB OWL IS ABOUT SEATTLE AND

DENVER, THE NORTHWEST VERSUS THEWEST.

GRUNGE VERSUS COUNTRY.

PLAID VERSUS OTHER PLAID.

( LAUGHTER )AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, THESE ARE

THE BIG CITIES IN AMERICA'S TWOLEGAL POT STATES.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

SO, WHETHER-- WHETHER YOU'REFROM THE MILE HIGH CITY OR THE

ABSOLUTELY BAKED CITY, YOU WANTTO WIN THIS GAME LIKE IT'S A BOX

OF LITTLE DEBBIE SWISS CAKEROLLS.

AND WHO BETTER TO REPRESENTTHESE TWO CITIES THAN THE PEOPLE

WHO REPRESENT THESE TWO CITIES,THEIR MAYORS.

PLEASE WELCOME THE HONORABLEMAYOR ED MURRAY OF SEATTLE.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

AND THE HONORABLE MAYOR MICHAELHANCOCK OF DENVER.

THANK YOU SO MUCH, MR. MAYOR.

ALL RIGHT.

GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN, ARE YOUREADY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?

>> YES.

>> ABSOLUTELY.

>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, LET'SDO THIS THING.

MAYOR MURRAY, YOU ARE SEATTLE'SFIRST OPENLY GAY MAYOR.

THAT'S A LIFESTYLE I DO NOT COBDON'T.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

, I'M SORRY BUT EVERYONE KNOWSBEING MAYOR IS A CHOICE.

( LAUGHTER ).

>> AND I'M GLAD SEATTLE MADETHAT CHOICE.

>> Stephen: OKAY, GOOD.

AND YET, AND YET, YOU DON'T LETTHEM VOTE ON WHETHER YOU SHOULD

BE GAY.

THAT SOUNDS LIKE A DOUBLESTANDARD.

MAYOR HANCOCK, MAYOR HANCOCK,YOU ARE, LIKEWISE, THE OPENLY

BLACK MAYOR OF DENVER.

NOW, COLORADO-- COLORADO HASLEGALIZED RECREATIONAL

MARIJUANA, BUT YOU WANT TO BANSMOKING IT IN PUBLIC.

>> RIGHT.

>> Stephen: OKAY.

>> RIGHT.

>> Stephen: BUT YOU ALSOSUPPORT ALLOWING BARS THE OPTION

TO STAY OPEN LATER.

>> THAT IS CORRECT, STEPHEN.

>> Stephen: OKAY, YOU HEARDHIM, BRONCOS FANS-- IF YOU HAVE

A VICTORY RIOT, DON'T DO ITBECAUSE YOU'RE STONED.

DO IT BECAUSE YOU'RE DRUNK,OKAY?

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET TO THE

GAME.

MAYOR HANCOCK, ON SUNDAY WHAT,TEAM DO YOU LIKE?

>> THAT'S AN EASY ONE.

THERE AREN'T MANY TEAMS THAT CANTAKE THE DENVER BRONCOS OUT.

>> Stephen: WOW, WOW.

WHERE DO YOU FIND THE COURAGE?

( LAUGHTER )FOR THE MAYOR OF DENVER TO PULL

FOR THE BRONCOS, THAT REALLY--THAT TAKES--

>> GO, BRONCOS.

>> Stephen: IF YOU DON'TMIND, THAT TAKES SOME HUEVOS

RANCHEROS.

>> SEATTLE, SEATTLE IS GOING TOWIN.

>> Stephen: THE SEATTLEMARINERS.

>> NO, NO, THE SEATTLE SEAHAWKS.

>> Stephen: FEBRUARY BETTERTHE SEA HAWKS -- THE MARINERS OF

FOOTBALL.

GENTLEMEN, AS YOU BOTH KNOW,THERE IS A LONG-STANDING SPORTS

TRADITION THAT THE MAYORS OFOPPOSING TEAM CITIES TO MAKE A

FRIENDLY BET OF THINGSASSOCIATED WITH THEIR CITY.

FOR INSTANCE, THE MAYOR OF SANFRANCISCO MIGHT BET A LOAF OF

SOURDOUGH BREAD, AND THE MAYOROF DETROIT MIGHT BET SOMETHING

OF EQUAL VALUE, SAY, THE CITY OFDETROIT.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

SO, MAYORS, SO, MAYORS, MAYORS,WHAT IS IT GOING TO BE?

>> STEPHEN, IN THE VERY UNLIKELYEVENT THAT SEATTLE WOULD BEAT

THE DENVER BRONCOS, I'M GOING TOOFFER TO MAYOR MURRAY SOME

COLORADO BEEF STEAKS.

>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, ALLRIGHT, THAT'S NICE.

OKAY, MAYOR MURRAY WHAT, ARE YOUPUTTING UP?

>> WELL, IN THE IMPOSSIBLE EVENTTHAT SEATTLE WERE TO LOSE, I'M

GOING TO OFFER TO MAYOR HANCOCKSOME INCREDIBLE SALMON FROM THE

NORTHWEST.

( APPLAUSE ).

>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, ALLRIGHT, EXCELLENT.

IT'S-- IT'S MEAT AGAINST MEAT.

LET'S MAKE THIS WAGER OFFICIAL.

GENTLEMEN, GET UP HERE.

LET'S SHAKE ON IT.

AND--( APPLAUSE )

-- HOLD ON!

BUSTED!

TAKE THEM AWAY.

GAMBLING!

GAMBLING IS ILLEGAL IN NEW YORKIT STATE.

YOU'RE UNDER ARREST.

YEAH!

HAVE FUN!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )HAVE FUN SAYING HIGH TO YOUR

DOOBIE FRIENDS IN JAIL.

FOLKS, I CANNOT BELIEVE THEYDIDN'T SEE THAT COMING.

I MEAN, I'M WEARING A WIRE.

( LAUGHTER )WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,

EVERYBODY.

MY GUEST TONIGHT IS AN NFL

QUARTERBACK WITH A NEW X BOX

GAME "PLAYOFF FACE-OFF."

PLEASE WELCOME DREW BREES!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

WHOOO!

WHOOO!

ALL RIGHT!

THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE

THIS IS THE PERFECT WAY-- THIS

IS THE PERFECT WAY TO FINISH OUR

SUPERB OWL COVERAGE.

THIS WEEK.

BECAUSE--

( CHEERS )

YOU YOU'RE A SUPER BOWL

CHAMPION, SUPER BOWL MVP,

EIGHT-TIME PRO BOWLER,

QUARTERBACK FOR THE NEW ORLEANS

SAINTS.

2013 WAS YOUR RECORD 5,000 YARD

PASSING SEASON.

AND LET'S FACE IT-- IT ALL COMES

DOWN TO THE QUARTERBACK.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

RIGHT?

>> I GUESS SO.

>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, ALL

RIGHT.

YOU-- AS A QUARTERBACK, YOU'VE

BEEN OUT THERE IN-- ON THE BIG

GAME, IF I CAN CALL IT THAT.

>> SURE.

( LAUGHTER )

>> Stephen: WHAT ARE THESE

TWO QUARTERBACKS THINKING RIGHT

NOW?

>> WELL, PEYTON'S BEEN IN THIS

SITUATION A FEW TIMES.

SO I'M SURE HE'S KIND OF GOT IT

DOWN TO A SCIENCE.

HE --

>> Stephen: AT THIS POINT,

IT'S ONLY THURSDAY.

>> RIGHT.

>> Stephen: DO YOU JUST WANT

THE GAME TO BE TOMORROW?

YOU KNOW YOUR GAME STRATEGY AT

THIS POINT.

>> RIGHT, EXACTLY.

IT CAN'T GET HERE FAST ENOUGH AT

THIS POINT.

THERE'S SO MUCH CHATTER AROUND

YOU.

YOU'VE HAD REALLY TWO WEEKS TO

PREPARE FOR IT, NOT JUST ONE

WEEK.

SO YOU'RE CONSTANTLY GOING

THROUGH THE GAME PLAN OVER AND

OVER AGAIN UNTIL FINALLY IT'S

LIKE, "MAN, I'VE WATCHED THIS

PLAY 1,000 TIMES.

I'VE READ THROUGH THIS PLAY

1,000 TIMES.

LET'S JUST GO PLAY THE GAME."

>> Stephen: ARE YOU STARING

IN THE BATHROOM MIRROR GOING,

I'M GOING TO DISNEY WORLD.

I'M GOING TO DISNEY WORLD.

IME"" GOING TO DISNEY WORLD.

I'M GOING TO DISNEYLAND, EITHER

ONE.

( BLEEP ) I'LL GO TO EPCOT.

JUST LET ME WIN.

>> DISNEYLAND ALWAYS GETS

NEGLECT GLD IT REALLY DOES.

>> THAT'S A SHAME.

>> Stephen: NOT TO PICK A

WOUND HERE, BUT THE SAINT LOST

TO SEATTLE, OKAY, AND THAT'S WHY

THEY'RE THERE?

WHO ARE YOU PULLING FOR?

ARE YOU PULLING FOR SEATTLE

BECAUSE YOU WANT TO HAVE BEEN

BEATEN BY THE BEST OR ARE YOU

PULLING FOR THE BRONCOS BECAUSE

YOU WANT SEATTLE TO SHARE YOUR

PAIN?

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

OR ARE YOU JUST GOING TO WATCH

GOLF ALL DAY SUNDAY?

>> I'M DEFINITELY GOING TO WATCH

FOOTBALL BECAUSE I'M A FAN OF

THE GAME, AND I LOVE THESE TWO

QUARTERBACKS.

AND TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, I

WOULD NOT BET AGAINST EITHER OF

THEM.

>> Stephen: REALLY?

>> YEAH.

AND I COULD GIVE YOU ARGUMENTS

FOR BOTH SIDES.

I THINK PEYTON MANNING'S CAREER,

NUMBER ONE, WHAT HE'S

ACCOMPLISHED IS REMARKABLE, WHAT

HE DID THIS YEAR WAS

UNPRECEDENTED.

WHAT HE'S OVERCOME OVER THE LAST

FEW YEARS WITH HIS NECK INJURY

AND KIND OF HIS-- YOU KNOW,

REALLY STARTING FRESH IN DEN DEN

VERIS SOMETHING YOU REALLY HAVE

TO TIP YOUR HAT TO.

I HAVE SO MUCH RESPECT FOR HIM

AS A PLAYER AND WHAT HE'S

BROUGHT TO THE GAME.

RUSSELL WILSON, I'M NOT SURE

THERE'S A GUY IN THE FIRST TWO

YEARS THAT HAS THE SUCCESS HE

HAS AND HAS BEEN ABLE TO HANDLE

IT THE WAY HE HAS.

HE'S PLA TOUR BEYOND HIS YEARS.

HE'S A TRUE PRO.

THE MORE SUCCESS THAT COMES HIS

WAY THE MORE HUMBLE HE BECOMES.

I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT

APPROACH, AND I THINK THAT BOTH

OF THEM CERTAINLY ARE READY FOR

THIS MOMENT.

>> Stephen: SO WHO'S GOING TO

WIN?

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

COME ON, DREW!

GROW A PAIR.

I HAD JUSTIN TUCK HERE ON

TUESDAY NIGHT, AND HE-- HE LOVES

HITTING PEOPLE FOR A LIVING, ALL

RIGHT.

I LOOKED IT UP.

HE'S NEVER SACKED YOU.

HE'S NEVER SACKED YOU.

>> LET'S KEEP IT THIS WAY.

>> Stephen: HE LIKES TO KIND

OF LIKE WOUNDED FOREST ANIMAL

SOUND QUARTERBACKS MAKE WHEN YOU

HIT THEM.

LIKE THE HUUU SOUND THEY MAKE.

HOW DO YOU AS A QUARTERBACK GET

BACK INTO THE POCKET?

YOU HAVE, LIKE, THREE SECONDS,

YOU CAN SEE THIS MUCH, AND YOU

KNOW THAT THERE ARE FOUR,

300-POUND ANGRY POT ROASTS

COMING AT YOU?

>> RIGHT RIGHT.

>> Stephen: HOW DO YOU STAY

FOCUSED IN THAT TINY COMPRESSED

ZONE?

>> UH, IT'S KIND DIFFICULT.

YOU HAVE TO HAVE TREMENDOUS

TRUST FOR THE GUYS IN FRONT OF

YOU BECAUSE I'VE GOT FIVE BIG

POT ROASTS BLOCKING THEIR FOUR--

FOR THEIR FOUR POT ROASTS.

AND SO YOU KNOW THAT THEY'RE

COMING VERY CLOSE TO YOU.

THEY'RE THERE TO TAKE YOUR HEAD

OFF.

AND YET YOU STILL HAVE TO

MAINTAIN YOUR POISE AND YOU'VE

GOT A JOB TO DO.

YOU HAVE TO DELIVER BALL DOWN

THE FIELD.

THAT'S YOUR JOB.

>> Stephen: I GOT TRAINED ADD

A QUARTERBACK THIS WEEK FOR--

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

AND ONE OF THE THINGS THEY WERE

TRYING TO TEACH ME WAS

QUARTERBACKS OWN THE ROOM.

HOW DO YOU OWN THE ROOM?

>> YOU HAVE COMMAND.

YOU'RE PREPARED.

YOU'RE READY FOR REQUEST

SITUATION.

>> Stephen: IS THIS IT?

ARE YOU OWNING THE ROOM RIGHT

NOW?

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> IT'S-- IT'S A QUIET

CONFIDENCE.

( LAUGHTER )

YEAH.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

YOU'RE OWNING IT.

YOU'RE OWNING IT.

YOU HAD THE WHO DAT NATION.

>> Stephen: THERE'S CROSSOVER

BETWEEN THE WHO DAT NATION AND

THE COLBERT NATION.

HOW MANY HODATS?

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

ALL RIGHT.

HOW MANY COLBERT NATIONS?

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

YOU'RE THE FACE OF AN X-BOX GAME

CALLED "PLAYOFF FACE-OFF."

WHAT IS "PLAYOFF FACE-OFF"?

>> IT ALLOWS YOU TO BE MORE

INTERACTIVE THAN YOU EVER HAVE

BEFORE.

IT ALLOWS YOU TO WATCH THE GAME

YOU YOU WANT TO WATCH, TRACK

YOUR FANTASY STATS AND PREDICT

THE GAMES IN THE PLAY-OFF,

INCLUDING THE SUPER BOWL WITH A

CHANCE TO WIN TICKETS TO NEXT

YEAR'S SUPER BOWL.

>> Stephen: HOW HARD CAN YOU

PLAY THIS GAME?

( LAUGHTER ).

>> FOR-- FOR-- YOU KNOW HOW LONG

YOU PRACTICED TO BE A

QUARTERBACK EARLIER?

>> Stephen: YEAH.

>> THAT LONG.

>> REALLY.

>> Stephen: ALMOST 45 MINUTE.

>> ALMOST 45 MINUTES.

>> Stephen: DREW, THANK YOU

SO MUCH FOR JOINING US.

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS QUARTERBACK

DREW BREES, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

>> Stephen: WELL THAT'S ITFOR THE REPORT, EVERYBODY.

SEE YOU ON SUNDAY.

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