Monday, May 9, 2016

  • 05/09/2016

Kate Micucci, Jake Hurwitz and Amir Blumenfeld discover a new way to eat corn on the cob, make up #MomSongs and name rides at an erotic theme park.

Last week, the Internet wasspinning over this video

from Eater Yang,showing his inventive method

for eating corn on the cob.

-(drill whirring)-(laughter)


Right after that,he had to floss his teeth

-with a belt sander and wipehis ass with a fire. -(laughter)

This impressive clip, thatI assume someone stumbled upon

after their phone auto-correctedtheir search for Asian porn,

uh, influenced several imitatorslike this young lady.


-(audience groaning)-MICUCCI: Oh, no. Oh, no.

I love that you already feel

something is going... sideways,or maybe it's good.

We don't know.

So the question is,comedians, will she succeed,

or fail, oh, (bleep),please, oh, no, please?

-Jake. -I just really,really want her to fail,

-so I'm gonna say fail.-HARDWICK: Okay.

Let's find out.

(audience groaning)


-(laughter, groaning)-Oh.

HURWITZ:I didn't want that to happen.

I didn't want that.

HARDWICK: You saidthat's what you wanted.

-I feel like I caused it.-You did cause it.

-Oh, no. -This is exactlywhat you wanted, Jake.

-Oh, no.-This is what...

You did this to this girl.


This, uh... this video,by the way,

is at the top of Corn Hubright now...

under the name"Hairless Asian Gets Drilled."


She's probably fine.She's probably fine.

(applause and cheering)

She didn't clip offany brain matter there.

(laughing):It'll grow back.

MICUCCI:Oh, man.

Now, don't put a drillin your face.

I don't know what to say.I don't know what to say.

Now it's timefor our #HashtagWars.

(cheering, applause)

This past Sundaywas Mother's Day,

a holiday about thankingthe women who raised us,

gave us life, and technically,

also served as our firstapartments for a few months.

Uh, and after how much painyou caused her

to bring you into this world--

which she reminds youevery time you don't call!--

words are just not enoughto say thanks.

So that is why tonight's hashtagis #MomSongs.

Examples might be:"Party in the PTA,"

and "Total Guilt Tripof the Heart."

I'm gonna put 60 secondson the clock...

Where are my Catholics at?Where are my Catholics at?

Uh, 60 seconds on the clock,and begin.

-Kate.-"Come On, Eileen,

You're Gonna Be Latefor Swim Class."

All right, points.

-Jake.-"Take Me to Church,

Your Great Aunt Stella Is Dead."

-Yes, points.-(laughter)

-Kate.-"Jumpin' Jack Hot Flash."

Yes, points.

-Amir.-"Oppa Gangmom Style."

-All right, points.-(laughter)

-Jake.-"Dad Better Have My Money."

-Yes, points.-(laughter, whooping, applause)

-Kate. -"Rocky MountainHigh-Waisted Jeans."

-All right, points.-(laughter)

-Amir.-♪ That Mom-Mom-Mom-Mom Song.

-Okay, points.-(laughter)

-Amir again. -♪ ThatSong-Song-Song-Song Mom. ♪

-HURWITZ: That's not fair.-That's totally fair.

He buzzed in twice. Points.

-Kate.-Anything by Boyz II Menopause.

-Yes, points.-(whooping)

-Amir. -"Now Watch Me Whip,Now Watch Me Lactate."

-All right, points. Points.-There, I... What? What?

Brazil hasa wonderful reputation

as a hedonistic nation fullof sexed-up party people.

And apparentlythat stereotype is 100% true:

Brazilian entrepreneurs recentlyannounced plans to build

a sex-themed parkcalled Erotikaland.

-Uh...-About time.

No, but really think about that.

Like, really think about that.

You go to a regular amusementpark, there's probably, like,

jizz on everything anyway.

But then when that's allowed,what's gonna happen?

Like, you're just...You'll have...

That'll be sponsored by Purell.Like, there's no way...

around it. Everythingis gonna give you HPV.

Nothing is more romantic thanwatching a pair of strangers

69'ing in the backseatof It's a Small World.

To that song, too.

I can't... I can't imagine whatother rides they have in store.

So I'd like you to nameas many Erotikaland attractions

as you can in 60 seconds.And begin. Jake.

Hammer (bleep) Shot.

Points. Amir.

Mr. Toad's Wild Mustache Ride.

Yes, points! Kate.


All right, points. Jake.


Points. Amir.

Tits a Small World After Balls.

Points. Jake.

It's a Small World After All,but It's Good at Eating (bleep).

All right, points. Kate.

A carouselwhere you can try gay stuff on

without your wifereally knowing.

Okay, points.

I thinkthat's just any carousel.

-Yeah? Oh, good. Okay.-Amir.

In Vagina Jonesand the Temple of Poon.

All right, points. Kate.


All right, points.

Wait, so when he pops up outof the thing,

-you got to jerk him offreally fast? -Yeah, yeah, yeah.