July 17, 2014 - Steven M. Wise

  • 07/17/2014

A Malaysia Airlines plane crashes in Ukraine, conservatives react to the child immigrant crisis, coal rollers embrace pollution, and Steven M. Wise talks "Rattling the Cage."

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: THANK YOU SO

MUCH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

(AUDIENCE CHANTING "STEPHEN")

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THEREPORT.

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: NOW FOLKS, THANK

YOU.

THANK YOU, FOLKS.

THAT'S GREAT.

BEFORE WE GET STARTED, IUNDERSTAND YOUR ENTHUSIASM,

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, DON'TGET ME WRONG, I UNDERSTAND.

BUT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,BEFORE WE GET STARTED I JUST

WANT TO ADDRESS A HORRIBLETRAGEDY IN THE UKRAINE.

EARLIER TODAY A MALAYSIANAIRLINES FLIGHT CARRYING 295

PASSENGERS AND CREW CRASHEDAPPARENTLY BROUGHT DOWN BY A

MISSILE.

IT IS AN UNTHINKABLE LOSS ANDOUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS ARE

WITH EVERYONE AFFECTED BYTHIS SENSELESS ACT.

AND THERE IS MORE TROUBLE INTHE MIDDLE EAST AFTER TEN

DAYS OF TRADING MISSILELAUNCHES EARLIER TODAY THERE

WAS A BRIEF TALK OF ACEASE-FIRE BETWEEN ISRAEL

AND HAMAS.

THAT BROKE DOWN AS BOTHSIDES COULD AGREE ON THE

FIRE PART, NOT SO OF THECEASE.

(LAUGHTER)AND NOW ISRAEL HAS SENT

GROUND TROOPS INTO GAZA.

THIS MAY SOUND FAMILIAR.

BUT THIS IS DIFFERENT THANTHE LAST GAZA WAR IN THAT IT

IS HAPPENING NOW.

(LAUGHTER)AND FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT

DON'T KNOW, I TAPED THISSHOW EARLIER IN THE EVENING.

SO WE DON'T HAVE A LOT OFINFORMATION ON THESE

STORIES.

BUT WE WILL HAVE COMPLETECOVERAGE OF BOTH OF THESE

STORIES ON TOMORROW NIGHT'SSHOW AND I'M-- I'M BEING

TOLD WE DO NOT HAVE A SHOWON FRIDAY NIGHTS.

(LAUGHTER)OKAY.

OH THANK GOD.

(LAUGHTER)THOSE ARE REALLY DEPRESSING.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: THOSE ARE REALLY

DEPRESSING STORIES.

LET'S TURN TO A LIGHTERSTORY.

CHILD REFUGEES.

(LAUGHTER)NATION, I COME TO YOU

TONIGHT WITH A HEAVY HEARTAND A BLOATED LIVER.

YOU SEE, I'VE BEEN DRINKINGA LOT THINKING ABOUT THIS

WAVE OF UNACCOMPANIED MINORSFLOODING INTO AMERICA,

FLEEING HONDURAS, GUATEMALAAND I BELIEVE EL DIABLO.

(LAUGHTER)SADLY, FOLKS, THESE KIDS

CONTINUE TO STREAM IN OVERTHE BORDER DESPITE OUR

CLEARLY MARKED YOU MUST BETHIS TALL TO ENTER THE

COUNTRY SIGN.

THIS IS A CLEAR HUMANITARIANCRISIS.

I WANT TO BE CLEAR ABOUTSOMETHING HERE.

I AM A HUMAN.

I'M NOT A MONSTER.

I CARE FOR THESE KIDS SOVERY PUBLICLY.

(LAUGHTER)YES, I BELIEVE IN SECURING

OUR BORDERS BUT SOME OF MYBEST FRIENDS ARE GUATEMALAN.

(LAUGHTER)THEY'RE SMALL CHEERFUL

PEOPLE.

AND I AM NOT THE ONLY ONEWEARING MY HEART ON MY TV

SLEEVE.

>> I FEEL BAD, AS I SAID, IFI WAS IN SOUTH OR CENTRAL

AMERICA, MEXICO I WOULD TRYTO GET HERE.

IT'S NOT THE IMMIGRANT'SFAULT.

>> BROKEN HEARTED.

WE ALL REALLY FEEL BADFOR THESE KIDS.

>> I'VE BEEN IN CENTRALAMERICA MANY TIMES.

I HAVE A GUATEMALAN DAUGHTER,NOW AN AMERICAN CITIZEN.

I SPEAK SPANISH.

I LOVE THE LATIN AMERICANPEOPLE.

>> Stephen: I TOO HAVE ADEEP LOVE FOR THE LATIN

AMERICAN PEOPLE.

I MEAN THESE KIDS AREN'TJUST INVADING OUR COUNTRY,

THEY'RE INVADING-- IN HERE.

AND WITH OUR HEARTS FULL OFLOVE FOR THE LATIN AMERICAN

PEOPLE, IT'S CLEAR WHAT WEMUST DO --

>> FIRST THING YOU DO ISSTART DEPORTING PEOPLE, TO

THE BY THE HUNDREDS, NOT BYTHE DOZENS, BY THE THOUSANDS.

>> Stephen: IT'S UH --(APPLAUSE)

IT'S A TOUGH LOVE.

(LAUGHTER)OR A VERY SOFT HATE.

(LAUGHTER)BUT REMEMBER THE OLD SAYING,

IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING LET ITGO.

AND IF THAT DOESN'T WORK,SEND HEAVILY ARMED TROOPS TO

SCARE IT AWAY.

NOW SURE, LAST WEEK OBAMADEPORTED 38 WOMEN AND

CHILDREN BACK TO SAN PEDRO,HONDURAS, THE CITY WITH THE

HIGHEST MURDER RATE IN THEWORLD.

IT'S A GOOD START, DON'T GETME WRONG.

BUT 38 PEOPLE OUT OF 5200?

I MEAN AT THAT RATE, FOLKS,WE WILL NOT GET THESE-- WE

WILL NOT GET THESE IMMIGRANTSOUT OF HERE UNTIL-- WAIT A

SECOND THIS CALCULATOR ISN'TIN SPANISH.

(LAUGHTER)IT DOESN'T-- IT DOESN'T HAVE

THE-- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

THE SPANISH ONES HAVE THATUPSIDE DOWN PLUS SIGN.

AND FOLKS, EVEN A TROOPSURGE CANNOT STOP THESE KIDS

BECAUSE THEY ARE SURGING ATOUR TROOPS.

>> SO MANY OF THESE KIDS WHOAPPROACH THE BORDER, THEY'RE

LOOKING FOR BORDER AGENTS TOTURN THEMSELVES IN, SO THEY

CAN START THIS NOW LENGTHYLEGAL PROCESS OF TRYING TO

STAY IN THIS COUNTRY.

>> THESE KIDS ARE TURNINGTHEMSELVES INTO THE TROOPS.

THAT'S LIKE HAVING MORECUSTOMER SERVICE REPS AT THE

BORDER.

>> Stephen: YEAH, IT'S LIKEHAVING CUSTOMER SERVICE REPS

AT THE BORDER.

THOUGH IF THEY'RE FROMCOMCAST THOSE KIDS MIGHT BEG

TO BE LET GO.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: AND I SAY-- I

SAY-- INSTEAD OF US SENDINGTROOPS DOWN THERE, WE JUST

DO WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU RUNOUT OF CANDY ON HALLOWEEN.

LESS'S TURN OFF THE LIGHTSAND PRETEND AMERICA'S NOT

HOME.

(LAUGHTER)SO THE KIDS MOVE ON TO THE

NEXT HOUSE, CANADA.

(LAUGHTER)(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

I HOPE THOSE KIDS LIKEPENNIES AND RAISINS.

(LAUGHTER)BUT FOLKS, THE WORST PART OF

THIS CRISIS IS WHERE THEOBAMA ADMINISTRATION HAS

DECIDED TO SEND SOME OFTHESE ILLEGAL CHILDREN.

>> A VERY DISTURBING REPORTABOUT HOW THE FEDERAL

GOVERNMENT IS ACTUALLYSPENDING MILLIONS OF YOUR

HARD EARNED TAX DOLLARS TOHOUSE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS AT

A TEXAS HOTEL.

PLANS TO PUT ILLEGALS UPINSIDE A MULTIMILLION DOLLAR

RESORT HOTEL AND WE'REPAYING FOR IT.

>> THE BEAUTIFUL PALM AIRERESORT AND HOTEL IN

McALLEN TEXAS OFFERINGINDOOR, OUTDOOR POOLS, WIFI

CABLE, SAUNA, STEAM, FITNESSCENTER.

>> IT'S GOT THREE POOLS, ATENNIS COURT, JACUZZI,

WIFI, WAS THAT ANAPPROPRIATE PROPOSAL, DO YOU

THINK, TO TRY AND HOUSESOME OF THESE KIDS?

>> ABSOLUTELY NOT.

>> OH, I AGREE.

OH, LET'S ALL PAY FORPABLO'S CONTINENTAL

BREAKFAST.

(LAUGHTER)I BET EVERY NIGHT ON THE

PILLOW THEY LEAVE A MINT, AGREEN CARD AND IMMIGRATION

PAPERS FOLDED INTO A SWAN.

(LAUGHTER)JUST LISTEN, JUST LISTEN,

THIS IS GOING TO SHOCK YOU.

(APPLAUSE)THIS IS GOING TO SHOCK YOU.

JUST LISTEN TO THESE ACTUALREVIEWS OF THE PALM AIRE

RESORT FROM TRIP ADVISOR.

ONE STAR, TERRIBLE HOTEL.

MOLD AND MUSTY.

SUNKEN COACH, BROKEN HANDLEON SHOWER.

STAINED SHEETS.

THE POOL WAS GREEN.

THIS IS THE WORST HOTEL IHAVE EVER STAYED IN.

I DISCOVERED LARGECOCKROACHES RIGHT AS I

ENTERED THE ROOM.

THAT'S RIGHT, THEY'RE EVENGIVING THE KIDS PETS.

(LAUGHTER)THE BOTTOM LINE-- BOTTOM

LINE, WE LOVE THESE KIDS.

AND THE WORST HOTEL IN THEWORLD IS STILL TOO GOOD FOR

THEM.

'CAUSE THESE INNOCENT LOOKINGCHILDREN ARE ANYTHING BUT.

>> I'M TELLING YOU YOURSAFETY IS AT RISK AND YOU

ARE IN DANGER.

>> THEY COULD BE MEMBERS OFGANGS, FOR ALL WE KNOW.

>> WE'VE GOT PEOPLE COMINGFROM COUNTRIES WHERE THERE'S

A LOT OF CRIME.

>> WE KNOW THAT WE'REGETTING MORE THAN WE'VE EVER

GOTTEN FROM COUNTRIES WHERETHERE IS ISLAMIC TERRORISM.

>> Stephen: I THINK THATMEANS THEY'RE ISLAMIC

TERRORISTS.

I MEAN THINK ABOUT IT, ITMAKES SENSE.

CHILDREN TAKE NAPS IN THESEDETENTION FACILITIES.

THEY'RE LITERALLY IN SLEEPERCELLS.

(LAUGHTER)AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN I WANT

TO POINT OUT, I'M NOT AMONSTER.

MY HEART GOES OUT TO THESECHILDREN.

THEY'RE NOT ALL VICIOUSKILLERS.

SOME OF THEM ARE MERELYFILTHY DISEASE CARRIERS.

>> RIGHT NOW WE'RE NOT SUREOF THEIR HEALTH CARE STATUS.

WE HAVE ALREADY TALKED ABOUTTB AND MRSA.

>> WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHATALL DISEASES THEY HAVE.

>> SEXUALLY TRANSMITTEDDISEASES, THEY WILL GIVE IT

TO EVERYBODY ELSE.

>> GEORGIA REPUBLICANCONGRESSMAN PHIL GINGREY IS

RAISING HEALTH CONCERNSABOUT THE CHILDREN AS WELL.

IN A LETTER TO THE CENTERSTO DISEASE CONTROL AND

PREVENTION HE CITES CONCERNSABOUT SWINE FLU, EBOLA VIRUS

AN TUBERCULOSIS.

>> YES, ACTUAL DOCTOR ANREPUBLICAN CONGRESSMAN PHIL

GINGREY SAYS THESE KIDSCOULD BE CARRYING EBOLA.

AND YES THAT VIRUS HASNEVER APPEARED OUTSIDE OF

AFRICA, BUT GINGREY MAY HAVECAUGHT IT FROM AN ILLEGAL

ALREADY BECAUSE I BELIEVEONE OF THE SYMPTOMS IS

BASELESS FEAR LEAKING OUT OFYOUR ASS.

(LAUGHTER)BUT THANK GOD--

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)FOLKS, THANK GOD THAT

PATRIOTS ALL OVER THECOUNTRY HAVE TAKEN TO THE

STREETS TO PROTEST THESERABID-PLAGUED CHILDREN BEING

SPREAD BY OBAMA LIKEFESTERING STOOL SAMPLES

ACROSS THE PETRI DISH OFAMERICA.

AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN, I LOVETHEM.

(LAUGHTER)ONE SUCH PATRIOT IS ARIZONA

REPUBLICAN CONGRESSIONAL

CANDIDATE AND HUMAN STUBBLEFARM ADAM KWASMAN WHO SHOWED

UP WITH CAMERAS TO BLOCKADEBUSES OF ILLEGAL CHILDREN

OUT OF PURE VIDEOTAPEDCONCERN FOR THEIR

WELL-BEING.

>> REPUBLICAN ADAM KWASMANWAS IN AURICLE THIS MORNING

IN PROTEST THE BUSING OFMIGRANTS TO THE SHELTER.

>> I WAS ABLE TO ACTUALLYSEE SOME OF THE CHILDREN IN

THE BUSES, IN THE FEAR ONTHEIR FACES.

THIS IS NOT COMPASSION.

>> JUST ONE PROBLEM, THOSEWEREN'T MIGRANT CHILDREN ON

THE YELLOW SCHOOL BUS.

THEY WERE YMCA CAMPERS FROMTHE MIRANA SCHOOL DISTRICT.

>> DID YOU KNOW THE BUS WASYMCA KIDS?

>> THEY WERE SAD TOO. IAPOLOGIZE.

>> DO NOT APOLOGIZE!

>> Stephen: DO NOT APOLOGIZE.

(APPLAUSE)STAND STRONG.

I FOR ONE NEVER TRUSTCAMPERS.

THINK ABOUT IT, THEY ARESENT TO REMOTE LOCATIONS

WHERE THEY ARE TRAINED TOUSE DEADLY WEAPONS SO THEY

CAN CAPTURE OUR FLAGS.

VIGILANCE.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> HEY, WELCOME BACK,

EVERYBODY, THANK YOU SOMUCH.

FOLKS, I DON'T KNOW ABOUTYOU, BUT I FOR ONE AM JUST

SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THELEFTIE LIBERAL

ENVIRONMENTALISTS TRYINGTO GUILT ME INTO DOING

THINGS LIKE RECYCLING ANDENERGY EFFICIENT LIGHT BULBS

AND NOT THROWING OLD CARBATTERIES INTO THE TANK AT

SEA WORLD.

YES, THOSE GREENS HAD MESEEING RED UNTIL THIS NEW

TREND BLEW MY MIND.

(LAUGHTER)MAGENTA.

>> IF YOU SEE A TRUCK INFRONT OF YOU BELCHING OUT

CLOUDS OF THICK BLACK SMOKE,COULD BE TROUBLE.

OR COULD BE A NEW TRENDCALLED ROLLING COAL.

>> DRIVERS PAYING THOUSANDSOF DOLLARS TO SHOOT BLACK

SMOKE AT OTHER PEOPLE ON THEROAD.

>> A NEW TREND CALLEDROLLING COAL.

>> ROLLING COAL, THAT'S WHATIT IS CALLING.

>> OW, ROLLING COAL OR AS WEUSED TO CALL IT A CLOGGED

AIR FILTER. FOR TOO LONG THOSEEARTH HUGGERS HAVE SHOVED THEIR

AGENDA DOWN OUR THROAT.

FINALLY THERE IS A WAY TOSHOVE OUR AGENDA DOWN THEIR

LUNGS.

SO HOW DOES ROLLING COALWORK?

OR BASED ON WHAT I KNOWABOUT EXHAUST SYSTEMS, NOT.

>> THE WAY THIS WORKS ISDIESEL VEHICLES ARE MODIFIED

TO INCREASE FUEL TO THEENGINE.

THE EXTRA FUEL THAT IT BURNSOFF AS THICK BLACK SMOKE.

AND IF YOU ADD IN A SMOKESTACK OR TWO THE COST OF

RIGGING YOUR RIG TO ROLLCOAL CAN BE ABOUT $5,000.

>> Stephen: $5,000.

SOUNDS LIKE A LOT BUT IT'SWAY CHEAPER THAN STRAPPING A

WEBER TO YOUR TESLA.

(LAUGHTER)AND ROLLING COAL ISN'T JUST

SMOKE BELCHING PUBLICNUISANCE, IT'S A SMOKE

BELCHING PUBLIC MESSAGE.

>> SOME SAY THEY ROLL COALBECAUSE IT'S FUN BUT MANY OF

THOSE WHO ARE DOING IT AREMAKING A POLITICAL

STATEMENT.

EITHER THUMBING THEIR NOSESAT THE OBAMA

ADMINISTRATION'S EFFORT TOLOWER CARBON EMISSIONS OR

JUST PLAIN FLIPPING OFFENVIRONMENTALISTS OR AS THEY

CALL THEM NATURE NUFFIES, THEONES WHO HATE ON HUMMERS TRUCKS

AND SUVs BUT LOVE THEIRPRIUS.

IN FACT, THE BLACK SOOTSPEWED BY COAL ROLLERS IS

OFTEN REFERRED TO AS PRIUSREPELLENT.

>> YEAH, BABY, PRIUS REPELLENT.THE ONLY OTHER WAY TO KEEP A

PRIUS AWAY FROM YOU IS DRIVINGOVER 45 MILES PER HOUR.

NOW A LOT OF COAL ROLLERS,FOLKS, A LOT OF COAL ROLLERS

OR CO-ROS AS NO ONE EVERCALLS THEM ARE EVEN

UPLOADING HILARIOUS VIDEOSOF THEM BLASTING SMOKE AT

PEOPLE STUPID ENOUGH TO WALKOR RIDE A BIKE.

AND IT'S GREAT FOR MEETINGTHE BABES.

>> DO YOU SMOKE?

>> YES, I DO.

>> STAND BY.

>> THAT WOULD MAKE ANY WOMANSWOON.

WITH THE POSSIBILITY OFBRAIN DAMAGE.

AND THEY DON'T DO TO ANYONEELSE WHAT THEY'RE NOT

WILLING TO DO TO THEMSELVES.

>> YOU SEE THAT, CLEAN AIRCROWD? YOU SEE THAT?

IF YOU ARE AGAINST COALROLLING, YOU HATE BLACK

PEOPLE.

AND IF YOU ASK ME, THAT'SSHAMEFUL.

AND IF YOU ASK ME, WOULD YOUIMPLICITLY DID BY WATCHING

THIS SHOW, I SAY COALROLLING IS THE BEST NEW WAY

TO STICK IT TO MOTHER EARTHSINCE PAINT CANNIN' WHERE YOU

DUMP OLD PAINT INTO A RIVER.

OR PORPOISE CORKING WHEREYOU HAMMER CORKS INTO THE

BLOW HOLES OF DOLPHINS.

WELL, WELL, FOLKS, I WANTIN.

TONIGHT I AM ROLLING THIS,THIS BABY IS PURRING WITH A

PURE 4 CANON DIESEL ENGINEBLADE RUNNER MANIFOLD AND-- A

PAIR OF NUTS SO JIMMY,LET'S FIRE HER UP.

WHOOO!

(APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: YEAH!

YEAH!

HOW'S THIS FEEL?

HOW DOES THAT FEEL, LEFTIES?

HUH?

HOW DOES THAT FEEL?

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,EVERYBODY.

MY GUEST TONIGHT THINKS THATSOME ANIMALS DESERVE THE SAME

RIGHTS AS HUMANS. PLEASE WELCOMESTEVEN WISE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)MR. WISE, THANK YOU FOR

BEING HERE.

ALL RIGHT, SIR, THANKS FORCOMING ON THE SHOW.

I GOT A COUPLE WARNINGSRIGHT UP FRONT, OKAY.

YOU WANT-- YOU'RE A LAWYERRIGHT.

>> I AM.

>> AND YOU'RE TRYING TO GETANIMALS THE SAME RIGHTS AS

HUMANS HAVE.

IN A COURT OF LAW.

>> I'M TRYING TO GET ACHIMPANZEE THE RIGHT TO GET

OUT OF A CAGE ON A WRIT OFHABEAS CORPUS.

>> Stephen: OKAY SO, HUMANS,FIRST OF ALL-- DON'T WORRY,

I'LL GET HIM.

NOW-- WHAT'S YOUR ARGUMENTHERE.

ANIMALS ARE ANIMALS, HUMANSARE HUMANS, NEVER THE TWAIN

SHALL MEET, READ YOUR BIBLE.

WHAT'S YOUR ARGUMENT.

>> A CHIMPANZEE IS ANEXTRAORDINARY BEING.

SHE IS AUTONOMOUS.

SHE CAN BE DID --.

>> Stephen: WHAT DOESAUTONOMOUS MEAN.

>> THAT'S WHAT JUDGES ASK.

>> Stephen: YEAH.

>> IT MEANS THAT SHE CANTHINK ABOUT THE PAST.

SHE CAN THINK ABOUT THEFUTURE.

SHE CAN THINK ABOUT HOW SHEWANTS TO LIVE HER LIFE.

SHE CAN SELF-DETERMINE.

AND THESE ARE THE SAMETHINGS THAT MAKE US SO IMPORTANT

THAT MAKE US WANT TO FILEWRITS OF HABEAS CORPUS WHEN

WE ARE THROWN IN HUMAN JAIL,WHEN SHE IS THROWN IN

CHIMPANZEE JAIL.

>> Stephen: YOU SAY BECAUSEAN ANIMAL IS AUTONOMOUS,

THAT SOME ANIMAL CAN MAKEDECISIONS ABOUT WHAT THEY'RE

DOING WITH THEIR LIFE THATTHEY SHOULD HAVE HABEAS

CORPUS.

>> ABSOLUTELY.

>> Stephen: THAT'S ANARGUMENT SAYING SHIA LABEOUF

SHOULD NOT HAVE HABEASCORPUS.

>> THAT'S TRUE.

>> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT YOUJUST SAID.

YOU GOT A BOOK HERE.

A "NEW YORK TIMES" SUNDAYMAGAZINE HERE, HIS DAY IN

COURT, OKAY.

THIS IS ABOUT ONE, AT LEASTONE OF YOUR CHIMPS THERE.

>> TOMMY.

>> Stephen: TOMMY, HE'S ACHIMP.

WE HAVE A PICTURE OF TOMMYUP HERE.

>> THAT'S TOMMY.

>> Stephen: LET'S TAKE ITDOWN BECAUSE IT IS SAD

MAKING.

LET'S TAKE THAT DOWN.

OKAY, WHY, WHY DOES TOMMYWANT OUT?

>> TOMMY WANTS OUT BECAUSEHE'S A CHIMPANZEE

>> Stephen: HAS HE TOLD YOU.

>> HE HAS NOT TOLD ME.

>> Stephen: HOW DO YOU KNOWHE DOESN'T LIKE WHERE HE IS

RIGHT NOW.

>> BECAUSE JANE GOODALL ANDOTHER PEOPLE TOLD ME THAT NO

CHIMPANZEE WANTS TO BE KEPTLIKE THAT.

>> Stephen: OKAY, BUT MANHAS DOMINION OVER ANIMALS,

RIGHT?

>> I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

>> Stephen: YES.

WELL-- WELL, WE EAT THEM.

WE BETTER, ARE YOU AVEGETARIAN.

>> NOT TOMMY.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO EATTOMMY.

>> Stephen: NOT IF YOU LETHIM OUT.

(LAUGHTER)>> Stephen: OKAY, BUT THIS

REALLY DOES, YOU'VE ALSO GOTA BOOK THAT'S OUT IN

PAPERBACK NOW, RE-RELEASEDCALLED RATTLING THE CAGE

TOWARD LEGAL RIGHT FORANIMALS.

>> YES.

>> Stephen: YOU'RE ON YOURWEB SITE HERE 2003 YOU SAID

OUR GOAL IS TO BREACH THELEGAL WALL THAT SEPARATES

ALL HUMANS FROM ALL NONHUMANANIMALS.

THIS CASE IS JUST THEBEGINNING.

THIS IS THE CAMEL'S NOSE UNDERTHE TENT FLAP AND THEN THE CAMEL

GETS HABAEUS CORPUS TOO.

WHY SHOULD ALL ANIMALS HAVELEGAL STANDING?

>>.

>> THEY SHOULDN'T.

WE AREN'T SAY-- .

>> Stephen: ALL NONHUMANANIMALS, YOUR WORDS.

>> I THINK YOU'RE TWISTINGTHOSE WORDS.

(LAUGHTER)>> Stephen: I ACCURATELY

QUOTED THOSE WORDS.

>> OUR GOAL IS TOBREACH THE LEGAL WALL THAT

SEPARATES ALL HUMANS FROMALL NONHUMAN ANIMALS.

>> THAT'S RIGHT.

>> Stephen: AGAIN, YOU ARETAKING MANKIND OFF OF THE

TOP OF THE ORGANIZATIONALCHART IF YOU ALLOW ANIMALS

TO ALSO HAVE LEGAL STANDING.

THEN MY DOG CAN SUE TO GETON MY COUCH.

>> I DIDN'T SAY YOUR DOG, ISAID YOUR CHIMPANZEE AND

YOUR ELEPHANT AND YOUR-- .

>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU HAVEAGAINST MY DOG.

>> NO,-- I WILL GIVE MY CARD,YOU GIVE THE CARD TO YOUR

DOG.

(LAUGHTER)(APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: WHY IS TOMMY INPRISON RIGHT NOW, WHAT DID

HE DO?

>> HE WAS BORN A CHIMPANZEE.

AND BECAUSE HE'S ACHIMPANZEE HE'S OUR SLAVE.

WE CAN DO WHATEVER WE WANTTO HIM.

AND THE FOLKS THAT AREKEEPING HIM ARE KEEPING HIM

IN THE WAY YOU JUST SAW.

THEY ARE ALLOWED TO KEEPTHEM IN THOSE KINDS OF

CONDITIONS.

WE WANT TO GET THEM OUT.

>> Stephen: AND WHAT YOURDESIRE FOR TOMMY DOES TO OUR

LEGAL SYSTEM AND THESTANDING OF MANKIND, AND OUR

PRIMACY IN OUR VISION OF THEUNIVERSE IS JUST, JUST

WRECKAGE ON THE WAY TO YOURMAD GOAL TO RELEASE ONE

CHIMP.

>> A SIMPLE YES OR NO.

(LAUGHTER)(APPLAUSE)

>> WHAT IS DOES IS IT SHOWSTHAT WE CAN EXTEND JUSTICE

TO WHEREVER THERE SHOULD BEJUSTICE, WHETHER WE ARE

DEALING WITH A HUMAN OR ANYOTHER BEING.

>> Stephen: LISTEN IF TOMMYWANTS TO HAVE RIGHTS-- IF

TOMMY-- IF TOMMY WANTS TOHAVE RIGHTS AS A PERSON HE

SHOULD FORM HIS OWNCORPORATION.

(APPLAUSE)THANK YOU SO MUCH

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: STEVEN WISE.

THE BOOK IS RATTLING THECAGE.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> THAT'S IT FOR THE REPORT,

EVERYBODY.

GOOD NIGHT.