@midnight
Season 1

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

  • Season 1, Ep 01029
  • 02/26/2014

Natasha Leggero, Andy Daly and Rob Corddry create drunken movie titles, list bad Kickstarter projects and review baby poop sausage.

NOW IT IS TIME FOR TONIGHT'S

HASH TAG WARS!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: THE ACADEMY AWARDS

ARE ON SUNDAY AND THAT MEANS TWOTHINGS, OSCAR PARTIES AND

HANGOVERS ON MONDAY SO TONIGHT'S# IS DRUNK FILMS.

DRUNK FILMS EXAMPLES WOULDCAPTAIN MORGAN FILL LOWE'S, LAST

OF THE MIHITSO OR MILLER'SGENUINE DRAFT CROSSING.

>> WHISKEY DICK TRACY.

>> I CAN'T GET A BONER RIGHTNOW.

>> POINTS.

>> NATASHA.

>> DUI HEART HUCKABEES.

>> CORDDRY.

>> IT IS A MAD, MAD, MAD MOTHERSAGAINST DRUNK DRIVING.

>> Chris: POINTS, POINTS.

WELL DONE.

>> ANDY.

>> SCHINDLER'S WINE LIST.

>> Chris: POINTS.

NATASHA.

>> THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THEUGLY AND I WOULD (BLEEP) ALL

THREE!

>> Chris: POINTS! ANDY.

>> KEG STAND BY ME.

ANDY DALY.

>> A CLOCKWORK ORANGE JUICE ANDVODKA ALSO KNOWN AS A

SCREWDRIVER.

>> Chris: WELL DONE.

POINTS.

CORDDRY.

>> THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OFMILLER LIGHT.

>> Chris: YES, I WILL GIVE YOUTHAT.

ANDY.

>> 12-YEAR-OLD SCOTCH A SLAVE.

>> Chris: LISTEN AUDIENCE OFWHITE PEOPLE, CALM DOWN.

NO RACIAL BOUNDARIES HAVE BEENVIOLATED IN THE PREVIOUS JOKE.

IT IS OKAY.

POINTS ANDY DALY.

>> I AM LEGEND AND I AM ANALCOHOLIC.

>> Chris: POINTS, WELL DONE.

THE SHOW MUST GO!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: SHOW NUFF IS A

TUMBLR THAT FEATURES TERRIBLE PRPICTURES FROM THE THEATRE OF THE

UNITED STATES.

COMEDIANS I AM GOING TO SHOW YOUA PR STILL AND FOR 250 POINTS I

WANT YOU TO BUZZ IN WITH WHATYOU THINK THE TITLE OF THIS PLAY

SHOULD BE.

ALL RIGHT.

HERE IS THIS ONE, HERE IS A GUYPLAYING GOLF IN HIS OFFICE.

YES, ROB CORDDRY.

>> "DEATH OF A SALESMAN"'S WIFEDUE TO BLUNT HEAD TRAUMA.

>> Chris: I WILL GIVE YOUPOINT FOR THAT, REALLY, THE

ENTIRE PLOT OF THE PLAY IS INTHE TITLE OF THE PLAY.

IT IS THE WHOLE -- IT IS A VERYSHORT, SHORT PLAY.

>> Chris: THE PLAY -->> AND IT END WITH HER DYING,

THE SPOILER.

>> Chris: FOR LIKE FOURCONDS

HE COMES IN BOWS AND LEAVES.

IT IS ALL IN THE TITLE.

ALL RIGHT.

I THOUGHT THIS PLAY WAS CALLEDPUT YOUR BALLS IN MY MOUTH.

>> Chris: ALL RIGHT. THISNEXT ONE FEATURES AN OLD TIMEY

GUN.

WHAT IS HAPPENING? THERE IS ANOLD -- IT LOOKS LIKE IT WAS ONE

OF THOSE OLD TIMEY PHOTOSTUDIOS, YES, NATASHA.

>> "THE DAILY SHOW".

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: POINTS.

THIS ONE HAS A KNIFE AND WHAT IAM HOPING IS A ZUNE.

I DON'T KNOW -- WHAT THAT IS.

SHE IS LISTENING TO TUNES ANDTHIS OTHER GIRL IS GOING TO STAB

HER IN THE NECK.

WHAT IS THAT CALLS? ROBCORDDRY.

>> WHO IS AFRAID OF VIRGINIA'SKNIFE?

>> Chris: POINTS.

YES, NATASHA.

MUCH ADO ABOUT COCHELLA.

>> POINTS!

WAX ON, WAX OFF.

>> Chris: ALL RIGHT.

COMEDIANS AIM GOING TO READ YOUPART OF A YELP REVIEW ABOUT

WAXING AND YOU TELL ME IF THEREVIEWER IS TALKING ABOUT

PUTTING WAX ON A CAR IN WHICHCASE YOU WOULD SAY WAX ON OR

ABOUT TAKING THINGS OFF A LADY'SAREA WITH WAX IN WHICH YOU WOULD

SAY WAX OFF.

>> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

>> PUBIC HAIR YOU ARE TALKINGABOUT.

>> Chris: WHAT? THAT IS ACORRECT ANSWER BUT I CAN'T GIVE

YOU POINTS FOR THAT.

>> OKAY.

>> Chris: WAIT, I'M SORRY,YES.

100 POINTS FOR ROB CORDDRY FORTHAT.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: ALL RIGHT.

SOMETIMES WITH THIS GAME YOUHAVE TO FILL IN POINTS WHENEVER

YOU CAN.

OKAY.

THIS FIRST ONE, I DON'T KNOW WHYTHEY WON'T USE A HARD WAX FOR

THOSE TOUGH SPOTS BUT BECAUSETHEY DON'T, I HAD TO QUIT GOING.

I'M SO EXCITED TO SEE WHERETHERE IS GOING.

NATASHA LEGGERO.

>> I HAVE GOTTEN BIKINI WAXESALL OVER THE LAND FROM THE

AIRPORT -- THIS IS -->> Chris: WAIT, AT THE

AIRPORT, OF COURSE THEY GIVE YOUTHE LANDING STRIP.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> AND CINE BUN WAXING FOR WAX.

>> SO IT IS DELICIOUS ANDCOSMETIC.

>> HARD WAX I NEVER HEARD OFTHAT THAT HAS TO BE A CAR THING.

>> Chris: YOU THINK IT IS ACAR THING? YOU THINK IT IS WAX

ON.

>> NO THE CORRECT ANSWER IS WAXOFF.

>> WAX ON SPA.

>> WHAT ARE HER TOUGH SPOTS?

>> Chris: I THINK IT ISBETWEEN THE NORTH AND SOUTH

POLE.

THAT IS A PRETTY TOUGH SPOT.

ALL RIGHT THE NEXT ONE, THANKSBUDDY NOW MY HOOD IS CLEAN BUT

THERE ARE SCRATCHES FROM YOUPICKING AT IT.

>> I KNOW WHICH ONE I HOPE THISIS.

>>>> Chris: ROB CORDDRY.

>> I MEAN, IT HAS GOT TO BE WAXON, BUT I AM HOPING IT'S WAX

OFF.

I WILL TAKE THE ZERO.

>> Chris: THE CORRECT ANSWERIS IN FACT, WAX ON.

>> BOO!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> MAN THERE IS NOTHING LIKE A

CLEAN HOOD.

>> Chris: WINCHESTER GANGSTERIN THE HOUSE!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> NEXT ONE, NOBODY WILL PUT

THEIR FINGERS IN YOUR STUFF.

>>>> Chris: I JUST SAW THREE

WOMEN IN THE FRONT ROW LIKETHIS.

YES, ANDY DALY.

>> I THINK IT HAS GOT TO BE WAXON, BECAUSE YOU KNOW THOSE GUYS

WANT TO PUT YOUR FINGERS IN YOURSTUFF.

>> Chris: THE CORRECT ANSWERIS WAX ON FROM MADISON CAR WASH!

BECAUSE I AM A BAD PERSON I TOLDYOU THAT

LIVESCIENCE.COM HAS DISCOVEREDTHAT SAUSAGES WITH BABY POOP ARE

SURPRISINGLY HEALTHY FOR YOU.

I ASKED YOU TO WRITE A YELPREVIEW OF A RESTAURANT THAT

SERVES BABY POOP SAUSAGE.

ANDY DALY.

>> THE SAUSAGES WERE DELICIOUSBUT WHEN WE ASKED TO MEET THE

BABY THAT PROVIDED THE POOP, ITREFUSED TO COME TO THE TABLE.

THAT IS JUST RUDE.

THREE STARS.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: AND BABIES ARE'S

HOLES!

>> ASSHOLES.

>> NOT A FAN OF, FETUS POOP, BUTSTILL DOESN'T DO VEGAN FOOD.

>> Chris: WELL DONE.

MR. CORDDRY.

>> COME FOR THE BABY POOP, STAYFOR THE PLACENTA.

KICK START IT, KICK START IT.

[ APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: THERE ARE SOME

FANTASTIC, VERY WORTHWHILE KICKSTARTER PROJECTS OUT THERE,

UNFORTUNATELY THERE ARE WAY TOOMANY THAT NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT

MINDS WOULD INVEST IN.

KEYED YANLS I WANT YOU TO COMEUP WITH AS MANY PROJECTS THAT

ARE LESS DESERVING.

>> PAY ZACH BRAFF'S RENT.

>> Chris: ROB CORDDRY.

>> A BABY POOP SAUSAGERESTAURANT.

>> Chris: FINE POINTS.

>> BRING MY EROTIC GOLDEN GIRLSFANFICTION TO THE BIG SCREEN.

>> Chris: ROB CORDDRY.

>> SOCKS FOR YOUR HANDS, THEYARE NOT GLOVES.

I CAN'T -- IT IS HARD TO EXPLAINIT VERBALLY.

>> Chris: POINTS.

THE WHOLE TITLE IS VERYDIFFICULT.

>> IT IS DIFFERENT.

>> Chris: ANDY DALY.

>> HANDCUFFS FOR STARVINGCHILDREN.

>> Chris: POINTS.

POINTS, NATASHA.

>> ABORTION DOCTOR TYPICALCLAIRE.

>> TIP, CALCULATOR.

>> Chris: ANDY.

WANT TO MAKE A SHOT FOR SHOT REMAKE OF AFTER EARTH WILL ALL

OF THE ORIGINAL ACTORS.>> Chris: POINTS.

NATASHA.

>> WOODY ALLEN ORPHANSAFEHOUSE

>> Chris: I HAVE TO GIVE HERPOINTS.

I HAVE TO GIVE HER POINTS.

ANDY DALY.

>> THREE WORDS, VIETNAMESE SEXSLAVE.

>> Chris: YOU ARE RAISING AFUND TO KICK START THAT? WHAT

EXACTLY ARE YOU PAYING FOR?

>> FOR THE SLAVE.

>> Chris: OKAY.

POINTS.

YOU KNOW, TO HAVE ONE.

>> YES, YES.

[ BUZZER ]>> Chris: ROB CORDDRY, ONE

MORE.

>> BEYONCE MAN, I HOPE -- ISTRESS, JUST HOW IMPORTANT THIS

VIDEO IS TO ME.

OKAY.

GOOD.

>> Chris: I WILL GIVE YOUPOINTS FOR THAT, SURE.

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