- THE ZOMBIES BROKE THROUGH!ZOMBIES--AARGH!

- AAH!- OH, MY GOD!

TOMMY'S BEEN BIT!

[audio slows down]

[audio at normal speed]

- AAH, DAMN!

[screams in background]

DAMN IT!NO, NO, NO!

- WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO!

- NO, I CA--I CA--I CAN'T DO IT.

- D--DO WHAT?

- YOU HAVE TO DO IT!HE'S BEEN BIT!

- YES--AAH!AAH! UNH! AAH!

- NO, NO, NO!- FORGIVE ME, TOMMY!

- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!- [screams]

ARRGH! AAH! AAH! AAH!

[panting]

- [crying] OH, NO!

- AAH!

I CA--I CAN'T BELIEVETHE ZOMBIES BIT HIM!

- [crying] IT WASN'TA ZOMBIE, IT WAS A RACCOON.

[crying]

ZOMBIES ARE RACCOONS, RIGHT?

NO, IT'S JUST ZOMBIES?

[crying]

OH, [bleep],YOU JUST KILLED TOMMY.

- SO KEEGAN'S THE NICESTGUY IN THE WORLD.

TOO NICE, THOUGH.- YOU THINK I'M TOO NICE.

- SOMETIMES YOU'RE TOO NICE.- OKAY.

- THAT ONE TIMEWE WENT TO A RESTAURANT.

WE'RE STARVING ANDWE ARE GOING TO A RESTAURANT,

AND THERE IS A WOMANOUTSIDE THE DOOR

OF THE RESTAURANTWITH A CLIPBOARD

TALKING ABOUT GIVING MONEYFOR HOMELESS KIDS.

- VERY NICE GIRL,VERY SWEET GIRL.

- I DON'T CARE,I DON'T CARE.

- VERY SWEET.- OF COURSE SHE'S SWEET.

I DON'T CARE.

YOU DO NOT STOP FOR A BITCHWITH A CLIPBOARD.

- JORDAN--- DON'T DO IT, KEEGAN.

- LET'S TALK ABOUTWHAT YOU DID.

LET'S TALK ABOUTWHAT HE DID FOR A SECOND.

THIS IS MY MAN RIGHT HERE--MY MAN JUST SAID,

"JUST SO YOU KNOW,IT'S A NO FOR ME."

[imitates doorbell]

EXCUSE ME,UH-HUH, MM-HMM.

- LOOK AT THAT.- MM-MM, MM-MM.

MM, THANK YOU, MM!

- WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE--NO, THAT'S BECAUSE

YOU HAVE TO KNOW--

- YEAH, MM-HMM, MMM!

- THAT'S BECAUSE I KNOW HE'SGONNA BE OUT THERE

FOR THE NEXT 48 MINUTESTALKING ABOUT,

"FASCINATING, FASCINATING.WHY AREN'T THESE KIDS HOUSED?

"WHAT'S WRONG?I WANNA KNOW.

"I WANNA KNOWALL THE INFO.

"WHAT ARE THEIR NAMES?ONE AT A TIME.

"GIVE THEM TO ME,ALPHABETICAL.

"NO, I'LL REMEMBER THEM.I HAVE A GOOD MEMORY.

"I'LL GIVE YOU MY EMAIL,I'LL GIVE YOU MY SOSH.

DO THEY HAVEA FATHER FIGURE?"

- [laughs]- "MY NAME'S KEEGAN.

I'LL GIVE IT TO 'EM."

[laughter]

- THE MOOD IS INFECTIOUSAND EXCITING TODAY

AS PEOPLE FROMALL WALKS OF LIFE

CELEBRATE BECOMINGTHE SEVENTH STATE

TO LEGALIZE GAY MARRIAGE.

WE'RE HERE TALKINGTO EXCITED COUPLES ABOUT

HOW THEY FEELON THIS HISTORIC DAY.

OH, HI.- HI, HI.

UH, YEAH, IT'SA VERY HISTORIC DAY

FOR CIVIL RIGHTS.

- WHOO!- AND FOR GAY AMERICANS.

AND AMERICANSALL OVER THE COUNTRY--

- WHOO! WE'RE GONNAGET MARRIED! YEAH!

- WELL, YOU KNOW, WAIT--- [screams]

- WE SAID THATIT WOULD BE A CONVERSATION,

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?BECAUSE WE DIDN'T KNOW

THIS WAS GONNA PASSSO DARN FAST.

- OH, MY GOD!- SO ARE YOU GUYS A COUPLE?

- [laughs]ARE WE A COUPLE?

COME ON, GIRL,LET'S GET SERIOUS.

- NO, IT'S JUST SO FAST.- MY NAME IS LASHAWN.

AND THIS IS RIGHT HEREIS MY "SAMWICH."

- IT'S, UH, SAMUEL, YEAH.- [laughs]

AND WE'RE GONNAGET MARRIED! YEAH!

- THAT'S SO GREAT.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU GUYSBEEN TOGETHER?

- WELL, WE'VE BEEN--- THREE YEARS.

IT'S BEEN FOREVER,WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOREVER!

- IT'S REALLY IMPORTANTTO KNOW THE PERSON--

- WHO IS THE BRIDE?I AM THE BRIDE.

DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO![laughs]

- OH, WELL TELL USALL ABOUT YOUR PLANS.

- YOU KNOW, WE NEVER THOUGHTIT WAS IMPORTANT TO HAVE

A PIECE OF PAPERSO THERE'S NOT ANY PLANS--

- OH, YEAH!PIECE OF PAPER!

WE'RE GONNA GETTHAT PIECE OF PAPER, SAMMY!

- YEAH, YEAH.- THAT PIECE OF PAPER!

- WHERE DO YOU THINKYOU GUYS WILL GET MARRIED?

- WELL YOU KNOW THERE'S A LOTOF HIDDEN COSTS IN A WEDDING--

- OH, EVERYWHERE!

WE'RE GONNAGET MARRIED OVER HERE

AND OVER THEREAND IN THE SKY AND ON A CLOUD.

- OH, WOW, IT SOUNDS LIKEIT'S GONNA BE A BIG WEDDING.

- WELL, YOU KNOW IT'S JUSTA CONVERSATION THAT WE HAVE--

- GIRL, WE'RE GONNA RENTTHE MOON AND FILL IT WITH ROSES!

[screams]

- WE REALLY NEED TO TALKABOUT WHETHER OR NOT WE THINK

IT'S FAIR TO EVEN GET MARRIEDWHEN IT'S STILL ILLEGAL

IN SO MANYOTHER STATES--

- OH, MY GOD!YOU SEE? LOOK AT HIM!

THAT'S MY MANWITH HIS BIG HEART.

I'M SORRY, MY HUSBAND.YOU MY HUSBAND NOW.

- WELL, WE JUST--- YOU MY HUSBAND NOW, BITCH.

- OKAY, WE JUST DON'T WANNARUSH INTO ANYTHING,

BECAUSE STUFFGETS OVERTURNED.

REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENEDIN CALIFORNIA.

- BABY I'M GONNAGET A 14-KARAT RING

THE SIZEOF 14 MOTHER[bleep] CARROTS.

THAT'S WHAT'S UP, DOC![smacking lips]

- WELL, YOU TWOCERTAINLY SEEM EXCITED.

- YEAH, DO WE SEEM EXCITED?- OH, YEAH, YEAH.

- OH, OKAY.- CONGRATULATIONS.

I HOPE YOU GUYSHAVE A WONDERFUL LIFE TOGETHER.

- WE JUST--WE REALLY JUSTDIDN'T THINK IT WAS GONNA PASS.

- WE'RE GONNA HAVE A HOUSETHAT'S SHAPED LIKE A UNICORN

AND WE'RE GONNAHAVE FIVE LITTLE GIRLS.

THEIR NAMES ARE GONNA BEETNIE, CAROUSEL, SEQUIN,

ABERCROMBIE, AND PHANTOM.

AND WE'RE GONNAHAVE A LITTLE DOG NAMED RUFFALO.

AND THE DOG GONNAHAVE A CAT NAMED MYRIAD.