Death of a Salesdude

  • Season 6, Ep 4
  • 02/04/2016

When TelAmeriCorp starts selling more female-friendly products, the women in the office are promoted and start wielding their new power over the men.

- Oh, heads up, Jillian.Coffee is for closers.

- Well,I don't even drink coffee.

- Mm, well, actually,sweetheart, bagels--

also for closers.

Mmm.That's not very good.

- Sugar-free vanilla creamer,also for--

I'm sorry,I don't remember your name,

but I think you knowwhat I was about to say,

and the word is "closers."

- All right, everyone,come and have a seat, please.

- It's for closers.- Yeah, we're closers, so...

- All right, everyone, we havea very special guest today.

Let me introduceSigourney.

- Thank you, Alice.- You're welcome.

- Hi, everybody.I'm Sigourney Goulet.

Most of you know meas the product rep from MenCo.

For years, we've had productssuch as...

men's intimacyendurance spray.

Well, we are going to just throwall of that in the trash...

Because todaywe're no longer MenCo.

We are now...

FemCo!- Huh?

- The future leadersin feminine retail.

- That's right, ladies, huh?

- And the very first productthat we're gonna bring to market

is the Boobillow.

The Boobillow is an ergonomicwedge-shaped pillow

that allowsvery large-breasted women

to sleep comfortablyon their stomachs.

- [clears throat]- Yes?

- Hi, um, question--

just to be clear...- Yes.

- So you're telling uswe are allowed to call women

and talk to themabout their breasts?

- Well, yes, but when dealingwith a sensitive subject--

[all cheering]- Cool!

- We finally getto talk titties at work.

- All right!- Yeah, baby!

- Dude, I'm gonna call my dad.- You got to. You have to.

I'm gonna try to contactmy father.

- Hey, gals,check out my new assistant.

- Oh, hey, uh,is it garbage day?

'Cause, uh, it looks likesomeone took the junk

out of your pants.

[laughter]

- But, hey,peep that caboose.

- Oh.- Ooh.

- Oops.- Uh-oh.

- Whoopsy-daisy.Could you get it for me, Blake?

- Of course. Of course.- Thanks, Blake.

- [grunts]

- Ooh.Okay, turn, so I can see.

Turn, turn, yeah.Turn--And pivot.

- Oh, yeah.- That's where it's at.

[laughter]- Lower.

- Excuse me?

- Lower.- Yeah.

- And now in.- In?

- Yeah.In, but down.

No, no, no,spread the legs more.

Spread as much as you can.- I'm--Yeah, that's about--

- And now just--and now just [bleep] it.

- Okay.- Now just [bleep] the ground.

- Okay.- Pop it! Pop it!

Pop it and dip it in!In! In!

In!

I'm done.- What?

- You can leave now.- All right, sorry.

- [chuckles] Hello, ladies, gotsome hot, fresh leads for you.

- Oh, yeah, for us?

'Cause we doyour job now, right?

- Anyway, if you guys everwanted any pointers, sisters,

feel free to bend my ear, and--

- Oh, please enlighten us.

- Yeah, that'd be great.

- Make a sa--Oh, cool, yeah.

I'll make a sale. Yeah, I mean--- Oh, yeah, come on.

- Yeah, I want to see that.See what you got.

- Watch how it's done.- We haven't been able to.

- Yeah, okay, can I call Marcia?Is that cool?

- Yeah, Marcia's next.

- I'm actually not gettinga dial tone.

That's weird.

- Could be because you're nota salesman, bitch.

Now get!

[laughter]

- You didn't even plug it in?- No, it wasn't plugged in.

- [all speaking at once]

[laughter]