In this episode, should there be a national eagle day? Come on, sharks get a whole week. Then, I name my alpha dog of the week. Oh, by the way, audience -- he marked the first row. And author Anne-Marie Slaughter says we need to return to the values of our founding fathers. Great, another person who wants us to grow pot. Hey oscillating fans, left or right? Pick a side. We're at war. This is The Colbert Report.