May 12, 2015 - Morgan Freeman on Soul Daddy & FLOTUS Critics

  • 05/12/2015

Ali Wentworth, Dan Savage and Kerry Coddett sit down with Larry to discuss sexism directed at America's first ladies and a study on the connection between sex and happiness.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> Larry: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

WELCOME TO THE SHOW.

I'M LARRY WILMORE.

(AUDIENCE CHANTS "LARRY!")

>> Larry: WRAP IT UP.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THANK YOU.

MAN, WE HAVE AN INCREDIBLE SHOWFOR YOU TONIGHT, TV'S ALI

WENTWORTH IS HERE.

FUN FACT-- WE WERE BOTH FLAGGIRLS ON "IN LIVING COLOR."

FUN FACT.

AUTHOR DAN SAVAGE AND A VERYSPECIAL VISIT FROM MORGAN

FREEMAN WHO SITS DOWN WITH SOULDADDY.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )REALLY GOOD SHOW.

LET'S GET RIGHT TO IT.

MAN, THERE IS BIG NEWS IN THEWORLD OF WRONGFULLY ACQUITTED

UNHINGED MENACES

>> A LOT OF PEOPLE STILLINTERESTED IN THE ANTICS OF

FLORIDA'S BAD BOY, GEORGEZIMMERMAN.

>> Larry: "THE ANTICS?""OF FLORIDA'S BAD BOY?"

THE GUY MURDERED AN UNARMEDCHILD.

HE'S NOT THE FONZ.

( LAUGHTER )AYYYY.

I SHOULD BE IN PRISON.

WHOA, WHOA.

>> THIS IS OUT OF FLORIDA.

GEORGE ZIMMERMAN HAS BEEN SHOT.

>> ZIMMERMAN WAS INJURED IN THEFACE.

>> Larry: OKAY, OKAY.

( CHEERS ).

>> Larry: HOLD ON, HOLD ON.

I KNOW IT SOUNDS LIKE GEORGEZIMMERMAN GOT SHOT IN THE FACE,

BUT BEFORE ANYONE GETS TOOEXCITED-- GUYS GUY,S, GUYS.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )CONFETTI CANNON.

HOLD YOUR HORSES.

GUYS!

STOP IT, GUYS!

HE DIDN'T GET SHOT IN THE FACE.

>> GEORGE ZIMMERMAN WASALLEGEDLY WAVING A GUN IN

TRAFFIC AND IT WAS AT THAT POINTTHAT THE OTHER MAN FIRED.

>> Larry: HE WAS WAVING A GUNIN TRAFFIC.

OR AS GEORGE ZIMMERMAN CALLS IT,MONDAYS.

AM I RIGHT?

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

AND THAT'S WHEN THE OTHER GUYSHOT AT HIM.

AND THEN APPARENT--♪ ♪

>> Larry: WHAT, WHAT'S GOINGON?

GUYS.

NO, NO, NO, NO!

GUYS, STOP IT!

STOP IT!

STOP IT, GUYS, STOP IT!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

>> WE HEARD GEORGE ZIMMERMAN GOTSHOT IN THE FACE!

>> Larry: NO.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )STOP IT!

DON'T ENCOURAGE-- STOP IT!

HE DIDN'T GET SHOT IN THE FACE.

AND EVEN IF HE DID, IT WOULD BEWRONG CELEBRATING SOMEONE

GETTING SHOT, ESPECIALLY IN THEFACE.

COME ON.

GEORGE ZIMMERMAN!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )NO, NO, NO.

YOU MAKE A GOOD POINT.

ANYWAY, HE DIDN'T EVEN GET SHOTIN THE FACE SO SHOO, SHOO, GO

ON, BLOODTHIRSTY MARCHING BAND.

GET, GET!

( APPLAUSE )MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE'S MISERY.

ALL RIGHT, SO WHAT DID ACTUALLYHAPPEN?

>> FIRST THEY THOUGHT HE GOT HITIN THE FACE WITH A BULLET, BUT

THAT WASN'T IT.

IT WAS JUST GLASS.

THEY TOOK HIM TO A HOSPITALTHERE AND HE'S OUT.

HE'S OKAY.

>> Larry: GUYS, GUYS, GEORGEZIMMERMAN IS DOING FINE.

SO SORRY TO DISAPPOINT YOU.

>> LARRY.

>> Larry: IT'S DRE, DRE, OURDIRECTOR, EVERYONE.

WHAT'S UP, DRE?

>> LISTEN, I HEARD GEORGEZIMMERMAN GOT SHOT IN THE FACE.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )TIME FOR A BALLOON DROP?

>> Larry: NO!

DRE, HE WASN'T SHOT IN THE FACE.

I SAID THAT, LIKE, FIVE TIMES.

>> YEAH, YEAH, BUT, LOOK, IT'SGEORGE ZIMMERMAN.

COME ON.

LET ME DROP AT LEAST A COUPLE OFBALLOONS?

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> Larry: OKAY, FINE.

DROP THE BALLOONS.

DROP THE BALLOONS.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

SADDEST BALLOON DROP EVER.

ALL RIGHT, MOVING ON.

NOW, SATURDAY, MICHELLE OBAMAGAVE A COMMENCEMENT ADDRESS AT

TUSKEGEE UNIVERSITY.

IN THE SPEECH SHE TALKED ABOUTHER EXPERIENCE WITH RACE.

>> WE BOTH FELT THE STING OFTHOSE DAILY SLIGHTS THROUGHOUT

OUR ENTIRE LIVES IT'S FOLKS WHOCROSSED THE STREET IN FEAR OF

THEIR SAFETY.

>> Larry: HOLD ON, MICHELLE.

HAS ANYBODY EVER CROSSED THESTREET IN FEAR OF BARACK OBAMA.

THAT GUYS WEIGHS ABOUT 130POUNDS, IN HIS MOM JEANS.

"OH!

THAT BROTHER'S SCARY."

ALL RIGHT, WHAT ELSE YOU YOUGOT?

>> THOSE WHO HAVE QUESTIONED OURINTELLIGENCE.

>> Larry: WHEN HAVE PEOPLEEVER QUESTIONED MICHELLE OBAMA'S

INTELLIGENCE?

OH, THAT'S RIGHT.

THIS MORNING.

HERE'S ANGELA McGLOWAN A FEWHOURS AGO ON FOX NEWS.

>> WHY DIDN'T FIRST LADY SHARETHE REASON SHE GOT INTO

PRINCETON?

IT WAS PROBABLY BECAUSE OFAFFIRMATIVE ACTION.

>> Larry: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,HOLD ON.

SLOW YOUR ROLL, FOX'S CONVENIENTBLACK FRIEND.

HOLD ON.

NO, NO, NO, YOU CAN'T SLAMAFFIRMATIVE ACTION SAYING IT'S

CONDESCENDING TO BLACK PEOPLEAND THEN ACCUSE OBVIOUSLY

BRILLIANT BLACK PEOPLE GETTINGIN BECAUSE OF AFFIRMATIVE

ACTION.

LET ME TELL YOU-- YOU KNOW WHATAFFIRMATIVE ACTION IS?

A COKE SNORTING ALCOHOL GUZZLINGSON OF A C.I.A. DIRECTOR DUI'S

HIS WAY INTO YALE ANDULTIMATELY ENDS UP IN THE

OVAL OFFICE BECAUSE HIS DADDYWAS IN BOTH PLACES.

THAT'S AFFIRMATIVE ACTION.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )BUT YOU'RE MAD AT A BLACK WOMAN

WHO STARTED FROM THE BOTTOM ANDNOW SHE'S HERE?

( LAUGHTER )ALL RIGHT, OKAY.

YOU GOT ANY MORE BLACK-ON-BLACKLADY CRIME HAPPENING OVER AT

FOX?

>> AN ABSOLUTE WASTEDOPPORTUNITY.

INSTEAD OF TELLING THESEINDIVIDUALS, THESE YOUNG MINDS,

THESE YOUNG PEOPLE THAT IF I CANDO IT, YOU CAN DO IT, TOO.

>> Larry: OKAY, UM, JUST ALITTLE TIP.

JUST BECAUSE YOU SAY WORDS, ITDOESN'T MEAN THAT THEY'RE TRUE.

ONE WAY OF FINDING OUT IS BYWATCHING WHAT SHE ACTUALLY SAID.

>> IF YOU STAY TRUE TO WHO YOUARE AND WHERE YOU COME FROM, IF

YOU HAVE FAITH IN GOD'S PLANFOR YOU, THEN YOU WILL KEEP

FULFILLING YOUR DUTY TO THEPEOPLE ALL ACROSS THIS COUNTRY,

AND YOU'LL BE FLYING THROUGH THEAIR, OUT OF THIS WORLD, FREE.

GOD BLESS YOU GRADUATES.

CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HOW HIGH YOUSOAR.

>> Larry: THAT MICHELE OBAMA ISSO RACIST!

MAKES ME SICK!

ALL RIGHT, WHAT ELSE YOU GOT TOMAKE ME SICK, FOX?

>> I LIKED YOUR FIRST FOURGUESTS ON IT, BUT NOW WE'RE

GOING TO GET THE BLACKPERSPECTIVE.

>> Larry: WAIT A MINUTE.

SHE'S THE BLACK PERSPECTIVE?

( LAUGHTER )ACTUALLY, NORMALLY ON FOX SHE IS

THE BLACK PERSPECTIVE, SO THAT'SWHY I WAS SURPRISED WHEN THEY

BROUGHT OUT THE ACTUAL BLACKLADIES.

ALL RIGHT, ANGELA DAVIS COULTER,WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON MISS

OBAMA.

>> AMERICA DOES OWE BLACKAMERICA FOR THE SLAVERY AND

THE DEMOCRATIC POLICIES OF JIMCROW.

I THINK WE'RE MAKING IT UP NOW.

WHEN YOU'RE GETTING ADMITTED TOPRINCETON WHEN YOU CAN'T READ,

IS THAT ENOUGH YET?

>> Larry: OKAY, TO BE CLEAR,ANN COULTER FEELS THE FIRST LADY

GOT INTO PRINCETON WITHOUT THEABILITY TO READ.

( SIGHS )ALL RIGHT, SHE'S ON A NEWS

NETWORK AND SHE IS GIVING THETHE BLACK PERSPECTIVE, SO, ALL

RIGHT.

WHO AM I TO ARGUE?

( LAUGHTER ).

>> AMERICA DOES OWE BLACKAMERICA FOR SLAVERY, FOR THE

DEMOCRATIC POLICIES OF JIMCROW.

THE GREAT SOCIETY PROGRAMS AREWHAT DESTROYED THE BLACK

COMMUNITY.

>> Larry: THIS HABIT CULTUREHAS OF BLAMING RACISM ON THE

DEMOCRATS IS WHAT I WANT TOADDRESS.

COME OANNE, WE'RE GOING TOKNOWLEDGE COLLEGE, COMMENCEMENT

EDITION.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )( LAUGHTER )

ALL RIGHT, GUYS.

I'VE GOT TO HOLD THIS UP.

OKAY, ANN COULTER--( LAUGHTER )

ANN COULTER TRIES TO ACT AS IFDEMOCRATS ARE THE THE ONLY ONES

WHO WERE RACIST IN THIS COUNTRY.

TO BE SURE FOR THE FIRST HALF OFTHE 20th CENTURY SOME OF THE

VIRULENT RACISTS WERE ON THEDEMOCRATIC SIDE, THEY WERE

CALLED DIXIE-CRATS.

BUT THEY SWITCHED SIDES ANDVOTED FOR RICHARD NIXON.

BUT WHAT COMFORT DID THOSERACIST DEMOCRATS FIND IN

NON-RACIST REPUBLICAN RICHARDNIXON?

MAYBE HIS TAPES WILLGIVE US A CLUE.

( LAUGHTER )>> Larry: SAYS THE GUY WHO

ORDERED BREAK-INS OF HISENEMIES AND TAPED EVERYONE

WITHOUT THEIR KNOWLEGE. HOWABOUT IRISH?

>> Larry: THIS IS FUN.

IT'S KIND OF LIKE ASKING A BANDTO DO REQUESTS, RIGHT?

HEY, MR. NIXON WHAT, DO YOUTHINK ABOUT THE ITALIANS?

>> Larry: ANOTHER NOW THEBIGGIE.

MR. NIXON WHAT, ABOUT THEBLACKS?

MR. NIXON WHAT, ABOUT THEBLACKS?

>> Larry: THE BIGGER POINT ISBOTH REPUBLICANS AND DEMOCRATS

HAVE HAD A LOT OF AFFIRMATIVEACTION WHEN IT COMES TO

DISCRIMINATING AGAINST BLACKPEOPLE.

ALL RIGHT.

CLASS DISMISSED.

AND CONGRATULATIONS, GRADUATES!

HOPE YOU ALL LEARN TO READ.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Larry: WELCOME BACK.

I HAVE TO TELL YOU GUYS, I LOVETHE SHOW MORGAN FREEMAN HAS ON

THE SCIENCE CHANNEL, "THROUGHTHE WORMHOLE."

IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.

AND WEDNESDAY NIGHT AT 8:00,HE'S TAKING ON THE SUBJECT OF

BIGOTRY SO LUCKILY FOR YOU HEJUMPED THROUGH THE TIME WORMHOLE

AND TOLD SOUL DADDY ALL ABOUTIT.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

TAKE A LOOK.

♪ ♪>> Larry: ALL RIGHT, WE'VE GOT

THE FIFTH DIMENSION COMING OUTLATER.

IT'S GOING TO BE A STONE COLDPICNIC.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

SPEAKING OF DIMENSIONS.

WE'VE GOT THIS CAT OVER HERE HECLAIMS HE'S FROM THE FUTURE.

HIS NAME IS MORGAN FREEMAN.

I KNOW HIM FROM THE ELECTRICCOMPANY BUT HE SAYS HE WANTS TO

TALK ABOUT WORMHOLES.

BROTHER, LET'S DO THIS.

WHAT IS THE WORMHOLE?

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ANYWAY?

>> IT'S AN IMAGINARY PLACE INSPACE WHERE IF YOU GET TO IT,

YOU CAN MOVE ALMOST ANYWHERE INTHE UNIVERSE.

>> Larry: THAT SOUNDS LIKEWHITE FLIGHT.

( LAUGHTER )WHAT WOULD BE THE DRUG OF CHOICE

FOR SOMEONE TO TAKE IN THEWORMHOLE?

>> I SAY ACID.

( LAUGHTER ).

>> I'D SAY MARIJUANA.

IT'S LEGAL NOW IN PLACES.

>> Larry: GET THE ( BLEEP )OUT OF HERE.

SO THIS WORMHOLE SHOW, THISSOUNDS LIKE IT WOULD BE A

VARIETY SHOW BECAUSE VARIETYSHOWS ARE NOT GOING AWAY, BY THE

WAY.

WHO YOU HAVE GLENN CAMPBELL?

>> NO.

>> Larry: CHARLES?

CHARLES IS A TALENT.

>> PHYSICISTS AND SCIENTISTS ANDPEOPLE LIKE THAT ON OUR VARIETY

SHOW.

I'D HAVE TROUBLE ANSWERING THEQUESTIONS.

>> Larry: YOU HAVE SEEN HERPLAY THE GUITAR?

( LAUGHTER )THERE'S A SHOW SATURDAY MORNING

CALLED "SHAZAM."

IT'S A KID'S SHOW.

THEY GOT THIS CHARACTER NAMEDISIS.

SHE'S LIKE A GODDESS.

I WOULD HATE FOR SOMEBODY TORUIN A NAME LIKE THAT.

WE ALL HAVE BIG BUTTS.

THAT'S TRUE.

>> I DON'T.

>> Larry: WHAT HAPPENED TOYOUR BUTT?

>> IN THE YEAR 2015, HAVE WEHAD, LIKE, A NEGRO

SECRETARY OF STATE?

>> AS A MATTER OF FACT, WE'VEHAD A NEGRO WOMAN.

>> Larry: YEAH, WE HAD A SOULSISTER AS SECRETARY.

>> I'M ABOUT TO OFFER YOU ASHOCK.

>> Larry: WHAT'S THAT?

>> BLACK PRESIDENT.

>> Larry: OH, COME ON, MAN.

>> A TRUE AFRICAN AMERICAN.

>> Larry: HE'S PROBABLY HALFBLACK.

>> YEAH, HE IS.>> SEE? THERE YOU GO

WHAT RACE IS BIGFOOT UNDER ALLTHAT FUR DO YOU THINK?

>> IT'S HARDTO SAY.

THEY SAY THAT MOST SKIN UNDERTHE FUR IS PINK.

>> Larry: SO WHAT DOES THATMAKE HIM?

>> WHITE.>> Larry: BIGFOOT IS WHITE?

>> YEAH

>> THAT'S WHY HE'S NEVER BEENSHOT.

THANKS FOR JOINING US ON "SOULDADDY."

BEST OF LUCK IN YOUR CAREER.

YOU SEEM LIKE A CHARMING YOUNGFELLA.

NEVER GO INTO VOICEOVER, TRUSTME

>>I KNOW WISDOM WHEN I HEAR IT

>> TUNE IN EVERY OTHER WEDNESDAYFOR ANOTHER EPISODE OF

SOUL DADDY." SOMEBODY LIGHTTHIS, PLEASE.

( APPLAUSE )DON'T WORRY, WE'LL SEND AN

INTERN INTO THAT WORMHOLE TOPULL MORGAN FREEMAN OUT.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Larry: WELCOME BACK.

I'M HERE WITH MY PANEL,COMEDIAN KERRY CODDETT,

YEAH, KERRY THERE YOU GO.

COLUMNIST AND THE HOST OF THE"SAVAGE LOVECAST," DAN SAVAGE

AND ACTRESS AND COMEDIAN, MY OLDPAL FROM

IN LIVING COLOR, ALIWENTWORTH.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )LET'S JUMP RIGHT IN.

LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS WHOLECOMMENCEMENT ADDRESS MICHELLE

OBAMA GAVE.

TO ME, YOU KNOW, I'VE SEEN THEWAY PEOPLE TREAT FLOTUS OVER

THE YEARS. LIKE NANCY REAGAN,SHE GOT SOME JIBING

BUT SOME OF THAT ASTROLOGY STUFFSHE BROUGHT IT

UPON HERSELF.

WHEN PEOPLE MADE FUN OF HER, ITSEEMED ALL IN FUN.

BARBARA BUSH, MAYBE THE GEORGEWASHINGTON JOKES THEY SAID SHE

LOOKED LIKE HIM.

BUT THAT WAS ABOUT IT.

EVERYBODY LIKED BARBARA BUSH,SEEMED LIKE A NICE LADY.

WHEN HILLARY CAME IN, THAT'SWHEN I HEARD THE VILE COMMENTS.

I REMEMBER RUSH LIMBAUGH SAYINGSHE HAD FAT ANKLES.

IT WAS RIDICULOUS.

I THINK IT GOES BACK TO WHEN SHEBASICALLY SAID, "I DON'T NEED A

MAN."

WE TALK ABOUT THE RACISM BUTTHERE'S A LOT OF SEXISM.

YOU HAVE LAURA BUSH, EVERYONELIKE HER, LIBRARIAN.

BUT WHEN FLOTUS GETS A LITTLEBIT OF AN ATTITUDE AND IS LIKE,

I'M MY OWN PERSON" I FEEL LIKEWE HAVE SOME ISSUES.

FOX.

>> I'LL SPEAK FOR ALL BLACKWOMEN LIKE ANN COULTER

I THINK IT'S A NICEBLUILLABAISSE OF

SEXISM AND RACISM.

BUT I THINK THIS COMMENCEMENTSPEECH WAS MORE RACISM THAN

SEXISM, AND I DO-->> HOW RACIST DO YOU THINK

MICHELLE OBAMA WAS?

( LAUGHTER ).

>> I THINK SHE IS SO ANTIWHITE,I CAN'T EVEN-- NO, I THINK

SHE'S-- I THINK HER COMMENCEMENTSPEECH WAS-- I THOUGHT IT WAS

GREAT.

ELEANOR ROOSEVELT WENT TO THESAME UNIVERSITY IN 1941, AND

THEY CALLED HER A COMMUNIST.

THAT'S ARE THE FEMINISM COMES.

>> Larry: ONCE AGAIN, LADYUSING HER BRAIN.

>> WHICH IS WHY I'M A VICTORIASECRET MODEL SO I DON'T EVEN

HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT.

I THINK THERE ARE BOTH "ISMS" ATPLAY, AND WHEN THERE ARE TOO

MANY "ISMS" IN ANY SITUATION IGET UNCOMFORTABLE.

I FEEL LIKE ON ONE HAND,CONSERVATIVE WHITE AMERICA IS

LIKE WHY DO WE LET THESEWOMEN VOTE AND THEN THE OTHER

HAND IS LIKE WHY DO WE LET THESEWOMEN SPEAK?

POOR MICHELE>> I LOVED HER SPEECH.

THEY HAVE HAD THE MOST RACISTCRAP THROWN AT THEM.

THEY CAN'T REACT BECAUSE OBAMACAN'T BE AN ANGRY BLACK MAN AND

SCARE ALL THE PEOPLE WHO AREPROBABLY SCARED, ANYWAY.

I THINK HE SHOULD GO FOR IT. ANDMICHELLE CAN'T BE THE

CONTROLLING, DOMINEERING,EMASCULATING

BLACK WOMAN AND THEY'VEHAD TO ABSORB SO MUCH CRAP.

FOR EIGHT YEARS. I CAN'T WAITTO READ THEIR MEMOIRS.

THEY'RE GOING TO LET LOOSE INTHEIR MEMOIRS BECAUSE THEY'RE

TOO SMART AND TOO OPINIONATEDAND I THINK THE REASON YOU'RE

SEEING THE WHITE FREAK-OUTCOMMENTARY ON FOX LOSE THEIR

( BLEEP ) IS BECAUSE SHE'SCOMING FOR THEM IN HER MEMOIR.

>> SHE IS.

>> Larry: THERE'S A STUDY OUTNOW BY CARNEGIE MELLON THAT

SAYS MORE SEX DOESN'T MAKE YOUHAPPIER.

YOU HAVE HEARD THIS?

IT SAYS, IN FACT MORE SEX MAKESYOU LESS HAPPY.

TO BE CLEAR, THESE WERE MARRIEDCOUPLES --

>> THE PROBLEM IS THEY ORDEREDTHESE PEOPLE TO HAVE TWICE AS

MUCH SEX AS THEY WERE NORMALLYHAVING.

THEY TOLD THEM-- THEY WENT TOTHESE COUPLES AND FIGURED OUT

HOW MUCH SEX THEY WERE HAVINGAND THEY HAD HALF THE COUPLES

HAVE TWICE AS MUCH SEX AS THEYWERE HAVING BUT WITH THEIR --

>> SO THREE TIMES A YEAR INSTEADOF ONE AND A HALF.

>> BECAUSE IT'S A CHORE. LIKEDRY CLEANING, SEX.

I BELIEVE-- WHY ARE YOU LOOKINGAT ME LIKE THAT?

>> Larry: FOR GUYS, I DON'TCARE WHAT'S ON THE LIST, IT'S

STILL HAPPENING.

>> I THINK IF YOU HAVE TOSCHEDULE IT OR YOU'RE FORCED TO

DO IT IT'S A VERY DIFFERENTTHING.

ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE FORCED TODO IT WITH SOMEBODY ARE YOU

ALREADY MARRIED TO.

CHANCES ARE I DON'T LIKE YOUTHAT MUCH.

WHY DIDN'T THEY LET THEM HAVESEX WITH SOMEBODY ELSE AND SEE

HOW HAPPY THEY ARE.

THERE'S A MARRIAGE THAT'S GOINGON LAST.

HOW ABOUT THAT.

>> I'M ALL FOR THAT.

>> I FEEL LIKE IF I HAD SEX WITHYOU I'D BE HAPPY?

>> YOU WOULD?

YEAH, MOST PEOPLE ARE.

>> AND I'M A HAPPILY MARRIEDWOMAN.

>> I BET YOUR HUSBAND WOULD LOVETO WATCH IF THAT HAPPENS.

( LAUGHTER )>> WE'RE COMMITTED.

>> Larry: DOES ANYBODYBELIEVE IT'S TRUE.

LET'S ASSUME IT WAS TRUE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK THE REASON FORBEING MORE UNHAPPY AFTER HAVING

A LOT OF SEX?

WHAT WOULD BE THE REASON?

>> CAN I QUICKLY ANSWER.

>> Larry: DO YOU THINK THEPOSSIBILITY IT IS TRUE?

>> I THINK I'M HAPPIER THE MORESEX I HAVE WITH MY HUSBAND.

HOWEVER, ONCE WE GET INTO THEDOUBLE DIGITS, AS SOON AS

THERE'S A BACK OF -->> BY DOUBLE DIGIT, YOU MEAN A

NUMBER.

>> A NUMBER.

>> WHAT ARE WE DOING!

>> Larry: I'M CLEARING IT UP.

STOP IT!( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> AFTER FOUR TIMES, IF I HAVETO GET A BAG OF

FROZEN PEAS AND PUT IT ON MYCROTCH, I'M NOT HAPPY ANYMORE.

BUT UP TO THERE, I'M GOOD.

>> THAT'S MY JAM, A FROZEN PEABAG ON MY CROTCH.

>> I THINK IT DEPENDS HOW I FEELABOUT YOU AT THE TIME.

WHEN I LIKE MY MAN AND HE'S NOTGETTING ON MY NERVES AND WE'RE

HAVING SEX, I'M SKIPPING DOWNTHE STREET.

I'M GIVING UP MY SEAT TO ELDERLYPEOPLE ON THE BUS.

I'M HAPPY.

WHEN I DON'T LIKE YOU, I'M LIKEYOU I HAVE TO HAVE YOU IN MY

FACE AND IN MY ( BLEEP )?

NO.

>> Larry: I DON'T THINK YOU'DBE OBLIGATED.

>> BY THE WAY, THAT'S A GOODT-SHIRT FOR YOU.

( LAUGHTER )>> Larry: I GOTTA HAVE THIS

AND ( BLEEP )?

LET ME ASK YOU GUYS ONEQUESTION.

YOU CAN EITHER HAVE UNLIMITEDSEX, WHICH IS GUARANTEED TO MAKE

YOU CONSTANTLY UNHAPPY, AND THEMORE YOU HAVE SEX, THE MORE

UNHAPPY YOU ARE GOING TO GET, OR CELIBATE, AND YOU'LL BE THE

HAPPIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD.

>> OH MOM!

( LAUGHTER ).

>> Larry: WHICH ONE?

>> SEX.

>> Larry: SEX AND UNHAPPY?

>> OH, NO, I'LL BE CELIBATE.

FINE, I'LL MAKE CHEESECAKES WITHTHE MONKS

>> I'LL BE CELIBATE BECAUSE WHOWANTS TO BE ( BLEEP ) AND FED

UP?

ANOTHER T-SHIRT.

>> IT'S REALLY HARD FOR ME TOWRAP MY HEAD AROUND THAT.

SEX MAKES ME VERY FAR HAPPY. I'DHAVE TO BE THE POPE AND HAVE

THE GREATEST HOUSE TO MAKECELIBACY WORTH IT

>> Larry: YOU WOULD STILLPROBABLY FIND A WAY TO HAVE SEX.

TRUST ME. I'M GETTING IN TROUBLEFOR THAT ONE

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

♪ ♪( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )