January 20, 2014 - Scott Stossel

  • 01/20/2014

Peyton Manning chants for Omaha, a drug shortage threatens the death penalty, Pope Francis encourages breastfeeding in church, and Scott Stossel talks "My Age of Anxiety."

>> TONIGHT NEW ADVANCES INCAPITAL PUNISHMENT.

WHEN WILL THEY FINALLY FINDA VACCINE AGAINST LETHAL

INJECTION.

THEN HOW TO BECOME A SAINT.

YOU NEED A LEPER, A SPAREARM AND HOT GLUE GUN. AND MY

GUEST JOURNALIST SCOTTSTOSSEL SAYS WORRIERS

ARE WINNERS. OH MAN, I DON'T KNOW IF I'M A WINNER.

WHICH MEANS I AM.

KRAFT HAS RECALLEDOVER 1.7 MILLION POUNDS

OF VELVEETA PRODUCTS FOR MISLABELED

INGREDIENTS.

THEY ACCIDENTALLY CALLED ITCHEESE.

THIS IS THE COLBERT REPORT.

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THEREPORT, GOOD TO HAVE YOU

WITH US, LADIES ANDGENTLEMEN, THANK YOU SO

MUCH.

>> STEPHEN, STEPHEN,STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)FOLKS, I THINK I KNOW THE

ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTIONSALREADY.

FOLKS, I CERTAINLY HOPE ALLOF YOU HAD A GREAT WEEKEND.

I FOR ONE AM STILLRECOVERING FROM YESTERDAY'S

NFL PLAY-OFF ACTION.

I WATCHED SO MUCH FOOTBALLYESTERDAY I GOT A CONTACT

CONCUSSION.

BUT NOW WE KNOW WHO'S GOINGTO THE BIG SHOW, THE BIG

DANCE, THE RODEO MASS GRANDET WILL FEATURE NFC CHAMP THE

SEATTLE SADBIRDS VERSUS THEAFC CHAMPS THE DENVER HORSE

GHOSTS, WHO LAST NIGHTDEFEATED THE NEW ENGLAND

FACE KITES-- NEW ENGLANDCOULD NOT RESPOND TO DENVER'S

BOLD STRATEGY OF SCORING MOREPOINTS.

WHAT A PERFORMANCE BY PEYTONMANNING, THE DENVER'S QB OR

QUICK BOY.

THIS SEASON HAS A LEAGUERECORD FOR SCREAMING THE

WORD OMAHA.

>> .

OMAHA! OMAHA! OMAHA!

OMAHA!

>> EVERY TIME HE SAID THATYESTERDAY A GROUP OF

COMPANIES IN OMAHA NEBRASKADONATED $800 TO

MANNING'S FOUNDATION FOR ATRISK YOUTH.

HE SAID IT 31 TIMES.

THAT IS $24,800.

>> Stephen: FOLKS, IT WASWORTH EVERY PENNY TO OMAHA

BUSINESSES BECAUSE ACCORDINGTO HOTEL.COM, SEARCHES FOR

HOTELS IN NEBRASKA'S LARGESTCITY INCREASED 21% SINCE

LAST SUNDAY'S GAME.

>> FOLKS, THAT'S HOW I PLANALL MY FAMILY'S

VACATIONS, I TURN ON THETV AND I BOOK TICKETS FOR

THE FIRST CITY I HEARSOMEONE SHOUT.

(LAUGHTER)AND SINCE I WATCH FOG BUT

FOX NEWS, KIDS, GET READYFOR SPRING BREAK IN BENGHAZI.

NOW FOLKS-- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

FOLKS, WHAT REALLY-- ITCHESMY PIGSKIN THAT THEY HAIL

FROM THE STATES THATLEGALIZED MARIJUANA FOR

RECREATIONAL USE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)UNLIKE OTHER STATES WHICH

HAVE LEGALIZED MEDICALMARIJUANA FOR RECREATIONAL

USE.

NATION, POT AND FOOTBALL DONOT MIX.

THEY ARE LIKE OIL AND WATEROR BASEBALL AND EXCITEMENT.

(LAUGHTER)AND ONCE THE NFL STARTS

CATERING TO THESE TEAMS,DOOBIE TOKING FANS

FOOTBALL WILL BE RUINED,JUST LIKE POT HEADS RUINED

LASER ZEPPELIN IT USED TO BEABOUT THE LOVE OF LASER.

BEFORE YOU KNOW T ALL THESUPER BOWL COMMERCIALS ARE

GOING TO BE FOR MUNCHIESAND ALL THE ADS ARE GOING TO

HAVE FREAKY TALKING BABIESAND ANIMALS.

I SAY SAVE IT FOR THECOMMERCIALS AT BURNING MAN,

YA HIPPIES.

AND SAY GOOD-BYE TO THE ALLAMERICAN HALFTIME SHOWS,

INSTEAD, PUT A TWO HOURHEYAO MIYAZAKE MOVIE UP ON

THE JUMBOTRON.

WOW, I GOT TO SAY, STEVENTYLER LOOKS GREAT.

(LAUGHTER)NOW FOLKS, IF YOU WATCH THIS

SHOW AND I HOPE YOU DO, YOUKNOW THAT I SUPPORT THE

DEATH PENALTY.

THE ANCIENT BABYLONIANS HADIT RIGHT, AN EYE FOR AN EYE,

A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH. WHICHMEANS YOU OWE ME TWO MOLARS

DR. BRILLSTEIN.

BUT SUDDENLY, KILLINGPRISONERS IS NOT AS EASY AS

YOU'D HOPE. ONE OF THE DRUGSUSED IN THE 32 DEATH PENALTY

STATES ARE NOW RUNNING OUT.

>> IT'S SOMETHING CALLEDPINTOBARBITAL.

>> THE SUPPLY OF THESEDATIVE BEGAN TO DRY UP TWO

YEARS AGO.

>> AFTER EUROPEANHUMAN-RIGHTS GROUPS SPOKE UP

AGAINST THE DRUG'S USE INEXECUTIONS.

A DANISH DRUG MAKERRESPONDED BY CUTTING OFF ITS

DISTRIBUTION FOR USE INCAPITAL PUNISHMENT.

>> Stephen: THOSE DAMN DANISH!

THEY WON'T SEND US THEIRDEATH DRUGS BUT WHO KNOWS

HOW MANY LIVES THEY'VE CUTSHORT WITH THEIR DELECTABLE

PASTRIES.

I DON'T KNOW BUT, FOLKS, IDON'T KNOW BUT, BUT I HAVE

HAVE COPEN-HAD IT UP TO HEREWITH

THESE DAMN DANES.

DON'T THEY UNDERSTAND THATIF WE DON'T GET OUR HANDS ON

THESE DEATH DRUGS SOON,SOMEONE MIGHT NOT DIE?

LUCKILY, THERE'S A WAY TOKEEP THE EXECUTIONS ROLLING

AND IT BRINGS US TOTONIGHT'S WORD.

THRIFT JUSTICE.

>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IHAVE ALWAYS BELIEVED THAT

STATES ARE THE LABORATORIESOF DEMOCRACY.

AND WHEN IT COMES TO THEDEATH PENALTY, IT'S AN

ACTUAL LABORATORY AND THERAT IS A HUMAN BEING.

NOW IN TEXAS-- IN TEXASPRISON OFFICIALS ARE SO

DESPERATE TO GET THEIR HANDSON THE DRUG THAT THEY HAVE

FALSIFIED DESCRIPTIONS ANDLIED TO PHARMACIES.

WHY GO THROUGH ALL THATTROUBLE, TEXAS.

YOU CAN GET POWERFUL DRUGSON-LINE AS LONG AS THE

OFFICIAL CAUSE OF DEATH IS A19 HOUR BONER.

(LAUGHTER)AND TEXAS IS NOT, THEY'RE

NOT THE ONLY STATE THAT'STHINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX FOR

NEW WAYS TO PUT PEOPLE IN ABOX.

SO IS OHIO.

>> DENNIS McGUIRE WASEXECUTED BY LETHAL INJECTION

WITH A COMBINATION OF DRUGSNEVER BEFORE USED IN THE

UNITED STATES.

>> IT'S A SEDATIVEPAINKILLER COMBINATION BEING

USED BECAUSE OHIO'S FORMEREXECUTION DRUGS DRIED UP.

>> THIS IS A COMBINATIONTHAT HAD NEVER BEFORE BEEN

USED IN LETHAL INJECTIONS.

THEY ARE TYPICALLY USED FORCOLONOSCOPIES.

>> Stephen: SOUNDS LIKE AWIN-WIN, WHILE THEY'RE

EXECUTING HIM, THEY CANSCREEN HIM FOR POLYPS.

OF COURSE-- (APPLAUSE)

PEOPLE, ALL THE PEOPLE OUTTHERE, ANYONE NOT STRAPPED

TO A TABLE WERE ALL UP INARMS ABOUT KILLING A MAN

WITH AN UNTESTED COCKTAIL.

BUT FOLKS, FEDERAL JUDGEGREGORY FROST FOUND THAT

OHIO IS FREE TO INNOVATE ASIT EVOLVES IN ITS PROCEDURES

TOWARDS ADMINISTERING CAPITALPUNISHMENT.

YES, OHIO IS FREE TOINNOVATE.

AFTER ALL THEY ARE THE HOMEOF THE WRIGHT BROTHERS WHO,

REMEMBER, INVENTED THEFLYING ELECTRIC CHAIR.

(LAUGHTER)THERE IS JUST A LITTLE

HITCH.

THE DEADLY DRUG MIX HAD ONEFATAL FLAW.

THE CONVICT, 15 MINUTE DEATHSTRUGGLE WAS DESCRIBED BY

ONE WITNESS AS HORRIFIC.

AND THAT'S A PROBLEM BECAUSEAMERICANS WANT THE

GOVERNMENT TO KILL PEOPLEFOR US, BUT WE DON'T WANT TO

FEEL OOKY.

THAT'S WHY WE'RE ALWAYSTRYING TO FIND THAT DEATH

SWEET SPOT.

LUCKILY, SOME STATES-- SOMESTATES OUT THERE WHO

UNDERSTAND THIS PROBLEM LIKEWYOMING KNOW THAT ALL

MORALLY COMPLEX ISSUES HAVETHE SAME ANSWER.

MORE GUNS.

JIM?

>> A WYOMING LAWMAKERPUSHING THE USE OF FIRING

SQUADS AS AN ALTERNATIVEFORM OF EXECUTION FOR THOSE

ON DEATH ROW.

>> YES.

BRING BACK FIRING SQUADS.

WITH SO MUCH GUN VIOLENCE INAMERICA, SHOULDN'T WE SHOOT

AT LEAST ONE PERSON WHODESERVES IT?

AND FIRING SQUADS-- (APPLAUSE)

I BELIEVE THIS MIGHT JUST BEME BUT FIRING SQUADS ARE A

GREAT WAY TO THROW ANEXECUTION ON A BUDGET.

>> WYOMING ALLOWED THE USEOF THE GAS CHAMBER IF LETHAL

INJECTION IS NOT AVAILABLE.

ACCORDING TO STATE SENATORBRUCE BURNS BUILDING AN

OPERATING GAS CHAMBER ISIMPRACTICAL AND A FIRING

SQUAD IS THE CHEAPESTOPTION.

>> OKAY.

SO IF WE'RE JUST TRYING TOSAVE SOME SCRATCH, I GOT ALL

KINDS OF IDEAS.

THE DRUG MAY BE IN SHORTSUPPLY IN PRISON BUT NOT IN

VETERINARIAN'S OFFICES WHEREIT'S THE PREFERRED METHOD

FOR THE EUTHANASIA OF PETS.

SO JUST PUT YOUR DEATH ROWINMATE IN A DOG COSTUME AND

THEN TELL THE VET HE BIT THENEIGHBOR.

YOU CAN BURY HIM IN THE YARDNEXT TO THE CAT.

HEY-- AND HEY, FOLKS, YOUKNOW WHAT ELSE IS FREE?

GRAVITY.

OKAY.

WE GOT PLENTY OF GRAVITYHERE AND LAST TIME I CHECKED

AMERICA STILL HAS TALLBUILDINGS.

I SAY JUST SHOVE THECONDEMNED OFF THE SEARS

TOWER, IF HE SURVIVES THEDROP, REMEMBER HE'LL LAND IN

CHICAGO AND SOMEONE WILLSHOOT HIM.

THE POINT IS-- (APPLAUSE)

AS LONG AS WE'RE TALKINGABOUT NEW WAYS TO PERPETRATE

THE DEATH PENALTY, THERE ARENO BAD IDEAS.

NOTHING IS OFF THE TABLE.

OOH, WE COULD BEAT HIM TODEATH WITH A TABLE.

(LAUGHTER)BUT YOU KNOW-- COME TO THINK

OF IT, WHY ARE WE DOING ALLTHE WORK HERE.

WE SHOULD MAKE CAPITALPUNISHMENT BYOE.

BRING YOUR OWN EXECUTION.

WHATEVER YOU LIKE, CHAINSAW,CURLING IRON IN A BATHTUB,

CHOKEABLE MONOPOLY PIECE.

YOU KNOW, YOUR CHOICE.

AND DON'T WORRY THAT IT'SCRUEL AND UNUSUAL

PUNISHMENT.

BECAUSE IF WE'RE CRUEL OFTENENOUGH, IT WON'T SEEM

UNUSUAL.

AND THAT'S THE WORD.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,EVERYBODY.

FOLKS, YOU KNOW, I DON'TTHINK IT'S ANY SECRET IF I

TELL YOU FOLKS THAT I LOVETHE CATHOLIC CHURCH.

NEED PROOF?

WELL YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TOTAKE IT ON FAITH.

IN FACT, OUT OF 1.2 BILLIONCATHOLICS OUT THERE, THERE

IS ONLY ONE OF THEM WHOREALLY BOTHERS ME.

IT'S THIS GUY NAMED FRANK. I AMSO P.O.-ED AT THIS SOCIALIST

POOR-CODDLING, GAY NOT-JUDGINGFOOT-WASHING ATHEIST

HUGGING AUDACITY OF POPETHAT I HAVE TO TELL YOU I

MAY START FLIRTING WITHOTHER RELIGIONS.

FULL CONFESSION LAST NIGHTHAD A FEW DRINKS AND TEXTED

YOU UPTO THAT TREE FROM AVATAR.

FOLKS, I SEE YOU.

I SEE YOU.

AND FOLKS, THE POPE'S LATESTASSAULT ON OUR TRADITIONAL

VALUES IS OUTRAGEOUS.

>> POPE FRANCIS ENCOURAGEDMOTHERS TO BREAST-FEED THEIR

BABIES IN THE SISTINE CHAPELYESTERDAY DURING A BAPTISM

CEREMONY, A DOWN TO EARTHPONTIFF SAID IF THEY ARE

HUNGRY, THEN FEED THEM.

DON'T THINK TWICE.

>> Stephen: HOW DARE, HOWDARE, I CLAP WHEN I'M ANGRY

TOO.

HOW DARE THE POPE ENCOURAGEJUST TO WHIP THEM OUT IN

PUBLIC.

THE CATHOLIC CHURCH SPENTTHE PAST 2,000 YEARS MAKING

US FEEL SHAME ABOUT OURBODIES. THAT IS

WHY I SHOWER IN A BATHINGSUIT WHILE WEARING ONE OF

THOSE DOG CONES, OKAY?

(LAUGHTER)THE SHOWER IS OVER WHEN I

START TO DROWN.

(LAUGHTER)PLUS ENCOURAGING WOMEN TO

BREAST-FEED VIOLATES THECENTRAL TENET OF

CATHOLICISM THERE IS NOSNACKING IN CHURCH.

IF THAT KIDS ALLOWED TO CHOWDOWN AT HIS PERSONAL DAIRY

QUEEN I SHOULD BE ALLOWED TOBRING IN A PLATE OF BUFFALO

WINGS, ALL RIGHT?

YOU WANT TO PUT SOME-- YOUWANT TO PUT SOME BUTTS IN THE

PEWS? FILL UP THE BAPTISMALFONTS WITH BLUE CHEESE

AND PUT THE GAME UP ON THEALTER.

THE POINT IS SOMEONE NEEDSTO STOP THIS HIPPIE

BEFORE HE STARTS WEARING TIEDYE VESTMENTS AND GIVING OUT

SERMONS ABOUTJESUS MULTIPLYING THE LOAVES

AND THE PHISH TICKETS.

AND THAT'S NOT THE ONLYTHING THAT GOT ME HEADED FOR

THE NARTHEX.

>> THE FRUGAL LIVING POPEFRANCIS IS LOOKING TO SCALE

BACK THE COST OF BECOMING ASAINT.

VATICAN LEADERS ARE NOWBEING GIVEN AN UNANNOUNCED

REFERENCE PRICE TO USE AS AGUIDE IN SAINTHOOD

APPLICATIONS, AS PART OF ANEFFORT TO CUT DOWN ON THE

COST AND MAKE IT MORE EQUALFOR CASES WITH LESS FUNDING.

CASES SUPPORTED BY WEALTHYDONORS MAKE IT THROUGH

FASTER.

>> YOU CAN'T SLASH THE PRICEOF BECOMING A SAINT.

BEING RICH IS THE FIRSTMIRACLE

(LAUGHTER)>> SAINTHOOD IS LIKE GOD'S

COUNTRY CLUB.

THEY DON'T LET IN POORPEOPLE OR JEWS.

BUT-- IF THERE IS A POORCANDIDATE THEY JUST NEED TO

GET RESOURCEFUL LIKE MOTHERTERESA BY SELLING

SPONSORSHIP ON THEIR ROBES.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

MY GUEST TONIGHT IS THEEDITOR OF THE ATLANTIC. HIS

NEW BOOK IS CALLED AGE OFANXIETY: FEAR, HOPE, DREAD AND

THE SEARCH FOR PEACE OF MIND.

WELL HE'S NOT GONNA GET IT HERE.

PLEASE WELCOME SCOTT STOSSEL.

HEY, SCOTT, THANKS SOME OFFOR COMING ON.

>> THANKS FOR HAVING ME.

>> OKAY, I WILL GET TOYOUR BOOK IN A SECOND BUT

FIRST YOU'RE THE EDITOR OFTHE ATLANTIC, THE AUTHOR OF

SARGE: LIFE ANDTIMES OF SARGENT SHRIVER,

YOU HAVEWRITTEN FOR "THE NEW YORKER",

NEW YORK TIMES, THE WALL STREETJOURNAL,

BUT YOUR NEW BOOK AGE OFANXIETY, FEAR, HOPE, DREAD

AND THE SEARCH FOR PEACE OFMIND.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY AGE OFANXIETY.

ARE YOU PARTICULARLY ANXIOUSPERSON?

>> YES.

>> Stephen: ARE YOU ANXIOUSRIGHT NOW.

>> TERRIFIED.

>> Stephen: REALLY?

>> WELL, NO, I'M DOING OKAY.

SO BASICALLY I HAVE SINCETHE AGE OF ABOUT 2 AS I SAY

IN THE BOOK BEEN KIND OF ATWITCHY BUNDLE OF PHOBIAS,

NEUROSES, ANXIETIES, ALLKINDS OF STRANGE

IDIOSYNCRATIC PHOBIAS LIKEFOR INSTANCE CHEESE AND-- .

>> Stephen: YOU HAVE A FEAROF CHEESE.

>> YEAH, I WILL NEVER GO TOWISCONSIN.

>> Stephen: WHAT IS IT ABOUTCHEESE THAT FRIGHTENS YOU.

>> IT'S UTTERLY-- WELL, IT'SIRRATIONAL-- .

>> Stephen: OKAY.

>> THIS IS WHAT IS SOPECULIAR ABOUT ANXIETIES.

BASICALLY YOU KNOW, I TELLPEOPLE THAT I WOULD RATHER

BE BURIED IN A SARCOPHAGUSFULL OF RATS AND SNAKES

WHICH I'M NOT AFRAID OFTHOUGH MANY PEOPLE ARE THEN

BE DIPPED INTO LIKEGORGONZOLA.

(LAUGHTER)AND-- .

>> Stephen: SO NO CHEESE.

>> NO CHEESE.

>> Stephen: SO YOU'RE GOODWITH VELVEETA THOUGH.

>> NO, NO, NOT EVEN VELVEETA.

SO I SET OUT TO WRITE THISBOOK BECAUSE I'VE STRUGGLED

WITH ANXIETY DISORDERS ALLMY LIFE.

AND I FINALLY, AND I WASSORT OF FASCINATED BY THE

NOTION OF LIKE WHAT CAUSEDTHIS.

SO I, LOOKED DEEP INTO THESCIENCE, THE CULTURE, THE

HISTORY, IS IT GENETIC, HOWI WAS RAISED.

AND I REALIZED.

AND I ENDED UP WRITING THISBOOK THAT ACTUALLY APPLIES

TO THE 40 MILLION AMERICANSWHO ARE CLINICALLY DIAGNOSED

WITH ANXIETY DISORDERS.

>> Stephen: LET'S BE CLEAR.

ANXIETY AND FEAR, ARE THEYTHE SAME THING?

BECAUSE FEAR HAS GOT A NICESHARP EDGE TO IT, ANXIETY CAN

FEEL LIKE A SMOLDERING FIRE.

>> RIGHT.

WELL, SO-- .

>> Stephen: .

>> I HAVE, I WOULD SAY ANORMALLY PRUDENT AVOIDANCE

OF FIRE BUT THAT IS NOT ONEOF MY-- .

>> Stephen: YOU'RE NOT LIKEFRANKENSTEIN.

>> NO.

NO, SO ANXIETY IS WHEN IT'SAPPROPRIATELY DEPLOYED IS AN

EVOLUTIONARY RESPONSE, ANADAPTIVE EVOLUTIONARY

RESPONSE, FIGHT OR FLIGHTRESPONSE.

IN THE STATE OF NATURE IFYOU ARE WERE BEING ATTACKED

BY A SABRE TOOTH TIGER ORENEMY TRIBE.

>> Stephen: OR A PLATE OFGORGONZOLA.

>> IT WOULD BE INCREDIBLYADAPTIVE TO HAVE THIS

RESPONSE WHERE YOURADRENALINE STARTS FIRING AND

BLOOD FLOWS TO YOUR STRONGMUSCLES AND MAYBE YOU VOID

YOUR BOWELS.

BUT THAT HAPPENS.

>> Stephen: SURE.

>> IT LIGHTENS YOU TO BEABLE TO RUN. BUT

THE PROBLEM IS FOR PEOPLETHAT HAVE ANXIETY DISORDER,

AND NOT JUST FOR PEOPLE WITHANXIETY DISORDERS BUT FOR

ALL OF US IN MODERN LIFE,YOU ARE NOT OFTEN BEING

CHASED BY A SABRE TOOTHTIGER.

BUT THE SAME SORT OFPHYSIOLOGICAL FIGHT OR

FLIGHT RESPONSE HAPPENS WHENYOUR WIFE GETS, YOU KNOW,

MYSTERIOUS LETTER FROM HEREX-BOYFRIEND OR WHEN THE

BOSS LOOK AT YOU FUNNY.

AND YOU HAVE THE SAME KINDOF FIGHT OR FLIGHT RESPONSE

AND YOU END UP KIND-OF-MARINATING IN THIS

STEW OF UNUSED CHEMICALSSTRESS HORMONES WHICH CAN BE

VERY DAMAGING TO YOU OVERTHE LONG TERM.

>> Stephen: SO WHAT, YOUSAID YOU HAVE HAD THIS SINCE

YOU WERE TWO.

DO YOU REMEMBER BEING AFRAIDAT THAT AGE.

>> OH, YEAH, WHEN I WAS ALITTLE KID I WAS ALWAYS

CONVINCED AND AGAIN INRETROSPECT, COMPLETELY

IRRATIONAL I WAS ALWAYSCONVINCED MY PARENTS WERE

GONE, THIS IS CALLEDSEPARATION ANXIETY WHICH IS

A NORMAL DEVELOPMENTAL STAGEWHEN YOU ARE THREE OR FOUR.

I HAD IT WHEN I WAS THREE THREEAND FOUR ACUTELY BUT THEN

WHEN I WAS NINE, 10, 11 AND12, AND I USED TO TORMENT

MY POOR SISTER WHO WAS TWOYEARS YOUNGER THAN ME.

AND IF MY PARENTS WEREN'TTHERE AND AT A PARTY AND 15

MINUTES LATE I WOULD MAKEHER CALL THE PARTY AND SAY

LIKE, I'M SORRY, I'M SCOTT'SBROTHER, HE'S CRAZY, ARE HIS

PARENTS STILL ALIVE.

>> Stephen: SO IF YOURPARENTS WEREN'T THERE YOU

THOUGHT THEY WERE GONEFOREVER.

>> I WAS CONVINCED, IT WASNOT RATIONAL BUT I WAS

CONVINCED THAT THEY EITHERWERE NOT REALLY MY PARENTS

OR WERE CONDUCTING SOME SORTOF HORRIBLE EXPERIMENT AND

JUST DECIDED TO LEAVE.

>> Stephen: SO PEEKABOO WASNOT A LOT OF FUN FOR YOU.

>> PEEKABOO WAS TERRIFYING.

>> Stephen: SO WHAT DO YOUDO?

HOW DO YOU TREAT IT?

BECAUSE IN YEARS PAST, THISSORT OF THING WOULD BE

TREATED BY AND I HOPE I'MPRONOUNCING THIS

CORRECTLY-- ALCOHOL, HOW DOYOU AND HOW DO 40 MILLION

OTHER PEOPLE TREAT THIS KINDOF ANXIETY.

>> SO I HAVE, I TRIED LOTSOF THINGS BUT I AM MEDICATED

AND AGAIN THIS IS THE SORTOF THING THAT I NEVER

ADMITTED BECAUSE I WASASHAMED OF IT I TAKE

ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, BENZODIAZEPINE, WHICH IS

>> Stephen: XANAX.

>> AN ANTI-ANXIETYMEDICATION.

>> Stephen: DID YOU BRINGENOUGH FOR THE WHOLE CLASS.

>> I HAVE SOME, DO YOU WANT METO SHARE, I DON'T KNOW.

>> Stephen: WHAT ARE SOME OFTHE THINGS THAT YOU ARE

AFRAID OF.

>> WELL, OKAY,.

>> Stephen: YOU NAME YOURSAND I WILL NAME MINE.

>> OKAY.

>> Stephen: I WILL GO FIRST,ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS.

(LAUGHTER)>> I DON'T KNOW THE TERM FOR

THAT ONE BUT THAT'S A GOODONE.

WELL, CHEESE, MY MOST ACUTEONE AND LONGEST STANDING AND

THIS, I THINK COMPLETELYRATIONAL BUT I KNOW THAT

MOST PEOPLE THINK IT'SIRRATIONAL, EMETOPHOBIA

WHICH IS THE FIFTH MOSTCOMMON, WHICH IS

PATHOLOGICAL FEAR OFVOMITING WHICH I HAVE NOT

DONE SINCE 1977.

>> Stephen: IS IT YOUR VOMITOR THAT SOMEONE WILL VOMIT

ON YOU?

>> THAT I WILL VOMIT.

>> Stephen: THAT'S MY FEAR.

SO WHAT DO YOU DO, HOW DOYOU TREAT IT.

>> I COULD VOMIT ON YOURIGHT NOW AND I WOULD BE

CURED AND YOU WOULD BE CURED.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)DO YOU HAVE A GOOD CUSTODIAL

STAFF HERE?

(LAUGHTER)>> Stephen: THE BOOK IS MY

AGE OF ANXIETY.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> FOLKS, DON'T FORGETTOMORROW NIGHT IS THE COLBERT

BOOK CLUBAND FAREWELL TO ARMS BY

ERNEST HEMINGWAY. READ IT,GOOD NIGHT.