True Dromance

  • Season 3, Ep 2
  • 06/05/2012

The guys cheat on Karl with a new drug dealer.

YOU CAN TIME US.YEAH, HERE YOU GO.

- YES.- WHAT IS THIS?

- OH, RANCHO CUCAPIZZA

IS HAVING A LITTLE PROMOTIONALEATING CONTEST,

AND THE WINNER GETS--READ THAT BOTTOM LINE THERE.

READ THAT.

WELL, IT SAID, UH,WINS FREE PIZZA FOR A YEAR!

- YEAH, ALL WE GOTTA DO IS EATA HUMONGA CUCAMONGA

IN UNDER 30 MINUTES.

- SEE, THEY MAKE THE PIZZASO HOT

THAT ALL THE OTHERDUMB BUFFOONS,

THEY'LL JUST BURN THEIR PIPES.

- BUT WE ARE NO IDIOTS.

OUR MOUTHSWILL ALREADY BE BURNED.

- YEP, VIA SPOONS.- MM-HMM.

- WE'RE GONNA PUTTHESE HOT SPOONS

ON OUR TONGUES.

- YEP.- WE'RE GONNA BURN THEM

SO THAT THE PIZZAWON'T BURN THEM.

OKAY, ALICE,START THE CLOCK.

- YEAH, START IT.- WE NEED YOU TO TIME US.

OH, SHE STARTED,SHE STARTED, START.

[guys screaming]

- OH, GOD!OH, THAH WATH THO HOT!

- WHAT DO WE GOT?- WHAT DO WE GOT FOR TIME?

WHAT'S THE TIME?OH, SHE DIDN'T THART THE CLOCK.

- WHAT? SHE DIDN'T THART IT?- YEAH, IT WAS PERFECT.

IT'S GONNA SOUND REAL GOODON THE PHONES.

JAGMOS.

- I DON'T LIKE HOWSHE ALWAYS PUTH UTH DOWN

WHEN WE'RE TRYINGTO BETTER OURTHEVLES HERE.

- AND WHO ARE THE IDIOTS HERE?

- ROUND TWO.

WHAT'S HAPPENING OVER HERE?- PBBT. NOTHING, MAN.

WE'RE JUST TRYINGTO FUNCTION.

- WHOSE WEED IS THAT?

- OHHH, THAT'S...

WE GOT--THAT'S YOUR WEED.

WE ONLY BUY WEEDFROM YOU, BABY.

- YOU THINK I DON'T KNOWWHAT MY WEED LOOKS LIKE, MAN?

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

- UM...- KARL...

WE HAVE NEEDS, RIGHT?

AND YOU, FRANKLY,WERE NOT MEETING THOSE NEEDS.

- SO YOU WENT TO A STRANGERFOR YOUR WEED?

- NO, WE WENT TO A STRANGERFOR GRASS.

WE'RE CALLING IT GRASS NOW.

- GRASS? WHAT THE HECKARE YOU TALK--

WHAT--WHAT IS HE EVENTALKING ABOUT?

- IT WAS JUST ONCE, KARL.

[sad piano music]

IT DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING.

- WERE THEY...

BETTER THAN ME?

- NOT BETTER.

JUST DIFFERENT.

- NO.

SHE'S BETTER.SHE'S WAY BETTER.

YOU KNOW WHY? 'CAUSE SHE OPENEDMY EYES TO A WORLD OF WEED

THAT I NEVER EVEN KNEW ABOUT

WITH GADGETS AND GIZMOSAND EDIBLES.

- EDIBLES?- YEAH.

- WHAT'S THAT?

- DON'T PLAY DUMB.IT MEANS, LIKE, POT BROWNIES.

- POT BROWNIES? NO, BROWNIESARE MADE OUT OF FUDGE, BLAKE.

COME ON.YOU KNOW THAT.

- WELL, MAYBE THAT'S PARTOF THE PROBLEM, KARL.

YOU EVER THINKOF THAT, MAN?

- YOU GUYS ARE ACTING CRAZYRIGHT NOW.

YOU'RE ALL ACTING INSANE.

YOU'RE--YOU'RE SMOKING BROWNIES,AND YOU'RE EATING WEED?

- IT'S CALLED GRASS NOW!

- OH, YOU WANNA YELL? LET'S YELL!

- DON'T DO THIS, KARL!

- YOU DID THIS!NOT ME!

AND WHAT'S FUNNY IS I EVEN FOUNDYOU DUDES A PRESENT,

BECAUSE I WAS THINKINGABOUT YOU DUDES.

JOE DIRT, MAN.IN THE DIRT.

FREAKIN' SEE YA.

I HOPE SHE WAS WORTH IT.

BECAUSE YOU THREW AWAYSOMETHING SPECIAL.

I THOUGHT WE WERE BRAJES.[phone vibrating]

NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,

I NEED TO TRY AND TAKETHIS PHONE CALL.

[dog grunting,phone vibrating]

HELLO?HELLO?

- HAPPENS WHEN YOU GIVEAN ANIMAL AN ANIMAL.

GUYS, I KNOW THIS HURTSRIGHT NOW,

BUT IT'S FOR THE BEST.

- MOMMY, IF YOU CAN HEAR ME,

I'LL TELL YOU WHATSHE'S GONNA DO TO US.

SHE'S GONNA CUT OFF MY DICKAND FEED IT TO ME.

I HAVE A VERYCUT-OFFABLE DICK.

AND I'M HUNGRY.

- AS SOON AS SHE DICESYOUR LITTLE DICK U--

YOUR DECENT-SIZED DICK UP...- THANK YOU.

- THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGONTATTOO IS GOING TO KILL US.

- HEY GUYS.[guys screams]

- JEEZ...US.- WOW.

ANNOUNCE YOURSELFNEXT TIME.

- SORRY.UH, SOME FRIEND OF YOURS

BROUGHT YOU A STEAK LUNCH.

I THOUGHT IT WAS SNAKE LUNCHAT FIRST,

BUT THEN SHE CLARIFIEDIT'S A STEAK LUNCH.

AND I'M NOT JEALOUS, P.S.

[clears throat loudly]

- THANK YOU.

- LOOKS LIKE, UH,

DRAGON TATSIS COMING AROUND.

- THANK YOU.

- SHE PROBABLY FORGOTWE OWE HER MONEY.

- YEAH.- STONERS, RIGHT?

- HERE'S A NOTE.

OH, COME ON.

"ENJOY THIS MEAL ON ME.

SINCERELY, YOU KNOW WHO."GUYS.

- YOU KNOW WHO IT PROBABLY IS?

IT'S PROBABLYTHE DRAGON-TATTOOED GIRL.

- AH, BOY.- YEAH.

- I FEEL LIKEA SILLY GOOF, HUH?

WE WERE ALL WORRIEDABOUT NOOOOO---

NO, NO!

JUDGE LANCE ITO!

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