2-D Blacktop

  • Season 7, Ep 715
  • 06/19/2013

Professor Farnsworth joins a gang of street-racing punks.

Ah, the open road!

Not a ship ahead of me.

(engines roaring)

Yo, Methuselah,speed it up!

You're making the roads unsafefor us maniac street racers!

Step off,you greasers!

I was street-racing back whenships still ran on moonwater!

Damn, yo,

get a load of speed geezer!

(laughter)

Hey!

That's it, you hoodlums!

Your mouth just wrotea PayPal transfer request

that your butt hasinsufficient funds to honor!

Yo, it is on!

Before that, it was off.

Twice around Central Park.Loser has to make the winner's

Medicare copayments for a year!

A'ight.

On three. One...

Aw, it just got real.

So real I don't believe it.

...two...

(whirring, clacking)

Aw, man, I can't affordno Medicare copayments!

...three!(crazed laughing)

(engines roaring)

(horn beeps)

MAN:Whoa...!

(horn honks)

Wrinkles got somemad moves, yo.

Yo, Wrinkles,you got big glasses.

I'm gonna call youthe Professor.

What?! No one calls me that!

(whirring)

(screeching)

Hey, Minx,we survive this,

can I finallyget that date?

Nah. You knowI'm with Benny.

Girl, he don't own you!

Yeah, but he saved mefrom my abusive father.

Not physically abusive;verbally.

It's a long story Ican't get into whilewe're spinning out.

(screeching)

(crazed laughing)

(both scream)

(yelling, screaming)

There's a simpleanswer for that.

We can't.

(gasping)

But on the upside,

we've got a whole dimensionto explore

with entirelydifferent laws of physics.

Why, watch what happenswhen I drop this marble.

Well, that'sthe same,

but other thingsare different.

Come, look at thistwo-dimensional bird's nest.

Ooh, me first!

I'll just steppast Leela here.

Ow!Ow!

You can't step pastin this dimension.

You have to step around.

(mocking gibberish)

Observethis two-dimensional egg.

If we were in the thirddimension, looking down,

we'd be able to seean unhatched chick in it,

just as a chick insidea three-dimensional egg

could be seen by an observerin the fourth dimension.

Fourth dimension?!

I can't picturethat! You're dumb.

Halt!(startled muttering)

Who said that?

All I see are a bunchof vertical line segments.

We are the Lordsof Flatbush.

Come. The king has declareda feast in your honor.

Wow. How did he even knowwe're here?

'Cause I'm him.Let's eat.

(creaking)

(whistling)

(giggles)

(plays fanfare)

The feastis served!

Choose whatevertwo-dimensionalfoods you like.

Crepes, flatbread,McDonald's hamburgers.

You get the idea.

Yum! Apples!

Hey, how come I can't swallow?

Hmm. I guessit's because

our two-ended digestive systemcan't exist in this dimension.

I supposethat could be an issue.

(muffled speech)

I knew it. I knewhe'd get us killed somehow.

As you can see, orrather can't see,

but take myword for it,

such a digestivesystem would divide

a 2-D being intoseparate pieces!

So how are we supposedto eat and digest?

Got it.

Well, since we haveno digestive systems here,

I guess we'd better get back tothe third dimension after all.

Third dimension?I can't picture that!

You're dumb.

(laughter)

There's nothing funnyabout science!

If there can be an X-axisand a Y-axis,

why not a Z-axis?

He's opening our mindsto new ideas!

Kill him!

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