April 21, 2015 - Walmart Closures & A Cop's Non-Lethal Force

  • 04/21/2015

Ricky Velez, Cristela Alonzo and Scarface discuss Walmart's controversial store closings, a water crisis in Baltimore and a police officer's surprising show of restraint.

>> LARRY: TONIGHTLY, WAL-MARTCLOSES FIVE STORES OVER

"PLUMBING ISSUES," PUTTING 2,200EMPLOYEES OUT OF WORK.

BUT HEY...

WHAT DID WE EXPECT FROM ACOMPANY WHOSE LOGO LOOKS LIKE A

GIANT BUTTHOLE?

(LAUGHTER)JUST SAYIN'...

THE CITY OF BALTIMORE ISTHREATENING TO TURN OFF WATER TO

SOME OF ITS CITIZENS.

SPOILER ALERT -- NOT THE RICHONES.

(LAUGHTER)AND FINALLY...

A COP IS CAUGHT ON VIDEO NOTSHOOTING A WHITE GUY.

IT'S THE GREATEST FEEL-GOODSTORY SINCE "NOTTING HILL "--

AND THERE WERE NO BROTHERS INTHAT ONE EITHER!

EVERYBODY SETTLE IN AND GETOUTRAGED.

THIS IS THE "THE NIGHTLY SHOW"!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)♪♪

THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

THANK YOU!

WELCOME TO THE "THE NIGHTLYSHOW," I'M LARRY WILMORE.

SO GREAT TO BE HERE.

YOU KNOW, IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY.

SPRING HAS SPRUNG, BABY!

SO YOU KNOW WHAT?

I THINK I'M GOING TO START OFFTONIGHT HAVING A LITTLE TREAT.

I THINK -- YEP!

A TOTALLY NORMAL-SIZED TUB OFBLUE BELL ICE CREAM...

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)"THIS IS HOW I DO IT!"

(CHEERING)SO WHAT'S GOING ON?

>> ONE OF THE NATION'S MOSTPOPULAR ICE CREAM MAKERS ISSUED

A SWEEPING RECALL OVERNIGHTBECAUSE OF FEARS ABOUT LISTERIA

CONTAMINATION, BLUE BELLCREAMERIES SAYS IT'S CANNOT

GUARANTEE THE SAFETY OF ITSPRODUCTS.

>> IF YOU HAVE ANY IN YOURFREEZER, DON'T EAT IT.

(APPLAUSE)>> Larry: YOU KNOW WHAT, IT'S

MY FAULT.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE BOUGHT THE"LISTERIA AND CHIP."

I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS ONE OFTHOSE MADE-UP NAMES LIKE

"PISTACHIO."

I DON'T KNOW.

HOW THE HELL DO I GET THIS THINGOUT OF HERE?

ALL RIGHT.

ENOUGH OF THAT STUFF.

IT'S CLEARLY MARKED BLUE BELL.

MY BAD.

TURNING TO TONIGHT'S TOP STORY.

IF YOU WERE ABOUT TO RUN OUT TOWAL-MART TO PICK UP SOME

NON-BLUE BELL ICE CREAM, YOUMIGHT WANT TO SLOW YOUR ROLL.

>> WAL-MART WORKERS GATHER AFTERTHE SUDDEN CLOSING OF A STORE IN

PICO RIVERA.

>> THE COMPANY SAYS IT HAD TOFIRE HUNDREDS OF EMPLOYEES

EARLIER THIS WEEK DUE TOPLUMBING PROBLEMS AT ITS STORE

IN BRANDON AND AT TEXAS, TULSAAND CALIFORNIA.

>> Larry: THEY'RE CLOSING FIVEWAL-MARTS FOR PLUMBING PROBLEMS?

NOW WHERE AM I GOING TO GO WHENI NEED TO PICK UP WINDSHIELD

WIPER BLADES, "PADDINGTON" ONBLUE RAY AND A 12 GAUGE SHOTGUN?

(LAUGHTER)RIGHT?

MAN!

SO LOOK, THESE STORES ARE CLOSEDFOR WHAT, A COUPLE OF DAYS IN.

>> THEY WERE TOLD THAT THEY HADTO BE CLOSED IMMEDIATELY FOR SIX

MONTHS DUE TO THOSE PERSISTENTPLUMBING ISSUES.

>> Larry: SIX MONTHS?!

YOU KNOW WHAT?

THIS IS THE PERFECT TIME TOINTRODUCE A NEW SEGMENT WE CALL

"WUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT?!"(LAUGHTER)

HOW CAN IT TAKE SIX MONTHS TOFIX SOME PIPES?

YOU'RE WAL-MART, NOT THEINTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION!

DID YOU EVER HEAR OF A PLUNGER?

YOU'VE GOT A FOUR-ACRE PLUMBINGSECTION IN YOUR STORE!

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

MAYBE I DON'T KNOW PLUMBING LIKEI THINK I DO.

LET'S HEAR FROM LOCAL PLUMBINGTIMELINE SKEPTIC RICHARD EVANS.

>> RICHARD EVANS DOESN'T THINKIT SHOULD TAKE HALF A YEAR IF

PLUMBING IS ALL THEY NEED TOTAKE CARE OF.

>> BREAK THE CONCRETE, MOVE ITOUT, TAKE THE GRAVEL OUT, PUT IN

MORE PIPE AND PLUMBING.

AT MOST YOU'RE LOOKING AT IS --(PAUSE) -- A WEEK.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)>> Larry: A WEEK?!

THAT'S IT?!

SO WHY WOULD THEY CLOSE IT FORSIX MONTHS?

OKAY, I DEFINITELY FEEL MY FOXMULDER LEVEL RISING.

SOMETHING FISHY IS GOING ONHERE, AND IT'S NOT WAL-MART'S

COMPETITIVELY PRICED SELECTIONOF FRESHWATER FISHING SUPPLIES.

THIS STORY DOESN'T MAKE ANYSENSE.

BUT AGAIN.

MAYBE I'M MISSING SOMETHING.

SO WHAT ARE SOME OF THE OTHERVERY NORMAL AND NON-SUSPICIOUS

FACTS ABOUT THESE MYSTERIOUS,SIMULTANEOUS CLOSINGS?

LET'S CHECK IN WITH THE MIDLAND,TEXAS STORE.

>> THIS STORE APPEARED TO HAVEBEEN FULLY STOCKED WITH

PERISHABLES WHEN THE STORECLOSURE WAS ANNOUNCED.

>> Larry: WELL, MAYBE THESEPLUMBING PROBLEMS HAPPENED

SUDDENLY AND THEY HAD TO GET OUTQUICK.

IT'S LIKE THAT OLD WILMOREFAMILY SAYING, "IF THE POOP'S

OVERFLOWIN', I GOTTA BE GOIN'."

(LAUGHTER)I GET IT.

MAKES SENSE TO ME.

ALL RIGHT, WHAT ELSE?

>> WAL-MART EMPLOYEES AT NORTHMIDLAND DRIVE WEREN'T TOLD ABOUT

THE CLOSURE UNTIL 2:00 P.M. ONMONDAY AFTERNOON.

JUST FIVE HOURS BEFORE THEY LEFTWORK, MANY FOR THE VERY LAST

TIME.

>> Larry: FIVE HOURS?

THAT'S BARELY ENOUGH TIME TOWATCH "PADDINGTON" THREE TIMES.

(LAUGHTER)IF I DIDN'T KNOW BETTER, I'D SAY

IT'S ALMOST LIKE WAL-MART ISPUNISHING THESE WORKERS.

BUT WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?

>> THE EMPLOYEES HAVE BEENDEMANDING WAL-MART PAY THEM

$15 AN HOUR AND PROVIDECONSISTENT FULL-TIME HOURS.

>> A UNION HAS FILED A COMPLAINTWITH THE NATIONAL LABOR

RELATIONS BOARD CLAIMING THATTHE CLOSURES WERE ACTS OF

RETALIATION AGAINST WORKERS.

>> Larry: I HATE REPEATINGMYSELF, BUT...

WUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT?!

SO EMPLOYEES WERE SPEAKING UPABOUT WAGE INCREASES AND THEN

ALL OF A SUDDEN THE PLUMBINGWENT BAD AND EVERYBODY GOT

FIRED.

IN FIVE HOURS.

SO THERE'S DEFINITELY SOMETHINGTHAT'S FULL OF CRAP AT WAL-MART.

I'M JUST NOT SURE IT'S YOURPIPES.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)MOVING ON TO OTHER "HOW TO

CONTINUE TO SCREW POOR PEOPLE"NEWS.

>> 23,000 ACCOUNTS ARE ELIGIBLEFOR WATER TURNOFF NOTICES FROM

BALTIMORE'S DEPARTMENT OF PUBLICWORKS.

>> Larry: THAT'S RIGHT.

THEY'RE CUTTING OFF WATER TO23,000 BALTIMORE-IANS.

BALTIMORES?

HOW ABOUT BALTIMOMOS?

(LAUGHTER)AND I'LL GIVE YOU ONE GUESS AS

TO WHO THIS DIRECTLY AFFECTS.

NO, I WON'T.

IT'S POOR PEOPLE!

BALTIMORE HAS STARTED SHUTTINGOFF WATER AT 150 HOMES A DAY FOR

ANY BALTIMOMO WHO OWES MORE THAN$250 IN WATER BILLS.

BUT THAT'S OKAY.

POOR PEOPLE CAN TAKE SINKSHOWERS AT WORK.

AND SINCE MOST POOR PEOPLE WORKTHREE JOBS, THAT'S THREE SINK

SHOWERS!

AND DON'T WORRY, THE SINKS ATTHOSE PLACES ARE GOING TO BE

WORKING BECAUSE $15 MILLION OFTHE $40 MILLION IN UNPAID WATER

BILLS COMES FROM BUSINESSES.

AND GUESS WHO'S NOT GETTINGTHEIR WATER SHUT OFF RIGHT NOW?

MM-HMM...

BID'NESSES.

AND IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHY MOSTBALTIMOMOS CAN'T PAY THEIR

BILLS, IT'S BECAUSE A QUARTER OFTHEM ARE POOR, AND IN THE LAST

THREE YEARS, WATER PRICES SHOTUP 42%.

42%!

WELL, THIS IS CRAZY.

SO IF YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE POORPEOPLE SPEND ALL THEIR FOOD

STAMPS TO BUY WATER, ARE YOUGOING TO GIVE THEM WATER STAMPS

TO BUY FOOD?

(APPLAUSE)DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT.

FOR MORE ON THIS STORY, WE TURNTO NOTED SELF-APPOINTED

VIGILANTE, BLACK ICE.

WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW, ICE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> BLACK ICE: THANK YOU, LARRY.

I HAD TO COME BACK.

WINTER MAY BE OVER, BUT BLACKICE IS ALL OVER THE STREETS.

>> Larry: SO, BLACK ICE, IUNDERSTAND YOU HAVE BEEN TRYING

TO HELP THE PEOPLE OF BALTIMORE?

>> BLACK ICE: YES.

THIS IS A TERRIBLE SITUATION,LARRY.

THEY'RE TAKING WATER FROM KIDS!

SO I'M TAKING IT BACK.

>> Larry: TAKING IT BACK?

HOW?

>> BLACK ICE: AT NIGHT, I FILLUP MY CANTEEN WITH WATER, TAKE

IT HOME, POUR IT IN ICE TRAYS,FREEZE IT AND DELIVER FRESH ICE

TO THE 'HOOD.

WHEN IT MELTS, THEY CAN USE ITFOR ANYTHING!

COOKING, BATHING, DRINKING,DRANKING...

>> Larry: DRINKING "OR"DRANKING?

>> BLACK ICE: BOTH.

IT'S A GEOGRAPHICAL DIFFERENCE.

ON THE EAST SIDE, THEY LIKE TODRANK.

>> Larry: SO WHERE DO YOU GETIT?

>> BLACK ICE: RICH PEOPLE.

>> Larry: RICH PEOPLE?

BLACK ICE: YOU WOULDN'TBELIEVE WHAT THEY DO WITH THEIR

WATER.

IT'S COMING OUT OF HOSES, GOINGINTO KOI PONDS, COMING OUT OF

FOUNTAINS WITH BABY CHERUBS JUSTPISSING IT INTO THE AIR!

PISSING IT, LARRY!

PISSING IT!

>> Larry: I HEARD THE FIRST"PISSING IT."

SO YOU'RE STEALING THIS WATER?

>> BLACK ICE: WHO REALLY OWNSWATER, LARRY?

>> Larry: WELL, THAT'S A GOODPOINT.

HOW'S THAT WORKING OUT?

>> BLACK ICE: NOT SO GOOD,LARRY.

I'VE ALREADY BEEN ARRESTED 18TIMES.

>> Larry: 18?

HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

>> BLACK ICE: I DON'T KNOW!

CAN'T A BLACK MAN WALK THROUGHTHE STREETS OF BALTIMORE PACKING

BAGS OF ICE?

COME ON!

>> Larry: OKAY.

BLACK ICE: I'M TRYING TOHELP PEOPLE!

>> Larry: I THINK I SEE THEPROBLEM.

THIS DOES NOT LOOK GOOD.

>> BLACK ICE: IT'S ICE, LARRY.

IT'S ICE.

>> Larry: WHY IS THAT ONEBLUE?

>> BLACK ICE: WOULD YOU BELIEVETHAT'S FROZEN GATORADE?

>> Larry: NO, I WOULD NOT.

BLACK ICE: WELL, NEITHER DOTHE COPS.

BUT I'M STILL GONNA TRY TO BRINGTHIS LIQUID GOLD TO MY PEOPLE.

WHAT'S 19 ARRESTS WHEN YOU'REBLACK ICE?

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Larry: BLACK ICE, EVERYONE!

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Larry: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

WELCOME BACK.

YOU KNOW, RECENTLY, IF YOU'RE AMEMBER OF THE WORLD, YOU'VE SEEN

WHAT ONE MIGHT CALL A RASH OFPOLICE SHOOTINGS CAPTURED ON

TAPE.

ANOTHER CAME OUT THIS PASTWEEKEND INVOLVING A COP WEARING

A BODY CAMERA AND A WANTEDMURDER SUSPECT.

>> GET YOUR HANDS UP!

>> Larry: OH, MAN, I ALREADYKNOW HOW THIS IS GOING TO END.

THAT BROTHER BETTER LISTEN IF HEDOESN'T WANT TO GET SHOT.

>> GET YOUR HANDS UP RIGHT NOW!

(BLEEP)!

>> Larry: WHAT'S HE DOING?

DON'T RUN AT THE COP!

RUN THE OTHER...

WELL, THAT DOESN'T WORK EITHER.

JUST LIE DOWN!

>> I DON'T WANT TO SHOOT YOU,MAN.

I DON'T WANT TO SHOOT YOU!

>> Larry: HERE WE GO, BANG!

WAIT, WHAT?

"I DON'T WANT TO SHOOT YOU,MAN"?

IS HE JUST SAYING THAT BECAUSEHE'S ON CAMERA?

THEN HE CAN SHOOT HIM AND SAY "ITRIED TO TELL HIM "?

THIS IS GETTING CRAZY.

>> I'LL GET YOU (BLEEP)ER.

>> Larry: I'LL GET YOU(BLEEP)ER?

THIS BROTHER'S DEAD.

OH, I CAN'T WATCH.

TELL ME WHEN IT'S OVER.

WHAT?

NO SHOT?

I'M CONFUSED.

>> SHOOT ME, SHOOT ME!

>> Larry: SHOOT ME?

SHOOT ME?

DON'T SAY THAT.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN TOYOU?

THIS HAS GOT TO BE IT.

WHAT TIME IS THIS GUY'S FUNERAL?

>> SHOOT ME!

>> WHUUUUUT?

A BROTHER BEGGING TO BE SHOT ANDA COP DOESN'T SHOOT HIM.

WHAT IS IT GOING TO TAKE FORTHIS COP TO SHOOT HIM?

NOT THAT I WANT HIM TO BE SHOT.

OH, SNAP!

HE KNOCKED THE COP OVER!

BODY BAG TIME.

CSI SUBURBS, HERE WE COME.

WELL, THIS IS NEW AND DIFFERENT.

IT'S ENDING WITHOUT A SINGLESHOT BEING FIRED.

WHAT IS GOING ON IN THEUNIVERSE?

THAT IS ONE LUCKY BROTHER.

CAN I GET A CLOSER LOOK AT THESUSPECT?

OH, HE'S WHITE.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

♪♪(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Larry: WELCOME BACK.

JOINING ME ON THE PANELTONIGHT -- OUR VERY OWN "THE

NIGHTLY SHOW" CONTRIBUTOR,COMEDIAN RICKY VELEZ.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)NEXT UP, SHE'S A COMEDIENNE AND

ACTRESS.

YOU CAN CURRENTLY CATCH HER ONTOUR, CRISTELA ALONZO.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)AND THE STAR OF CRISTELA!

(LAUGHTER)AND FINALLY, HE'S THE AUTHOR OF

THE NEW BOOK "DIARY OF A MADMAN," RAPPER BRAD "SCARFACE"

JORDAN.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)(LAUGHTER)

SCARFACE HAS TO TAKE A CALL.

>> IT'S FOR YOU.

HE'S GOT TO CALL YOU BACK.

WE'RE EXTREMELY BUSY.

>> Larry: APPRECIATE THAT,SCARFACE.

SO TONIGHT WE ALL HAVE OUR BODYCAMERAS ON.

BECAUSE WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BEFUN TO HAVE EVERYONE ON OUR

PANEL WEAR ONE AS WELL JUST LIKETHE COPS DO

WANT TO SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BEA GUEST ON THE SHOW?

YOU GUYS AT HOME CAN GET A FEELOF WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO BE A

GUEST ON THE SHOW.

SO CHECK IT OUT ONLINE ATTheNightlyShow.com.

BEFORE WE TALK ABOUT THIS BODYCAMERA THING, THIS IS CRAZY.

FIRST, BALTIMORE IS TURNING OFFWATER FOR 20,000 POOR RESIDENTS.

FIRST OF ALL I DON'T KNOW WHYWATER IS SO EXPENSIVE

WHEN I WAS A KID, WATER WAS SOCHEAP THEY WERE TURNING FIRE

HOSES ON US.

I'M MAKING A POINT ABOUT THECOST, RIGHT?

>> THAT SOUNDS FUN.

>> Larry: NO, IT WAS NOT FUN!>> A FUN SUMMER ACTIVITY, RIGHT?

SCARFACE, DO YOU THINK THEGOVERNMENT SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO

TURN THE WATER OFF FOR POORPEOPLE?

>> I KIND OF AM MAD ABOUT THEWATER COMPANY SHUTTING OFF THE

WATER, BUT I KNOW THAT ME BEINGMAD AND PISSED OFF ABOUT THE

WATER COMPANY SHUTTING OFF THEWATER ISN'T GOING TO MAKE THE

WATER COMPANY TURN THE WATERBACK ON.

BUT IT'S WRONG.

HELL, YEAH, IT'S WRONG.

>> Larry: YOU SAID YOU GREW UPWITHOUT WATER FOR A WHILE?

>> YEAH, FOR THE FIRST EIGHTYEARS OF MY LIFE, MY FAMILY

WERE SQUATTERS IN A BORDER TOWNIN SOUTH TEXAS.

I HAD NO WATER.

>> Larry: DID YOU GUYS USECOFFEE?

>> WE HAD A NEIGHBOR THAT WOULDLEND US -- LET US USE THE HOSE

WHEN WE NEEDED TO SHOWER.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU CANHAVE A SERVICE ON SOMETHING THAT

PEOPLE IN OTHER COUNTRIES HAVETO GO AND GET IN WELLS AND STUFF

FOR FREE.

WHY DO WE HAVE TO DO IT?

WE PAY BECAUSE THEY FILTER ITFOR US.

THAT'S WHAT IT IS.

THEY MAKE IT BETTER.

BUT REALLY, WHEN IT RAINS, ITALL GOES IN A RESERVOIR.

I HAVE TO PAY YOU BECAUSE YOUHAVE A HOLE TO KEEPS MY WATER?

(APPLAUSE)>> Larry: I'M WITH THAT.

WHAT'S YOUR TAKE ON IT, RICK?

>> I'M PUERTO RICAN.

I THINK BALTIMORE NEEDS PUERTORICANS OPENING THE FIRE

HYDRANTS.

YOU HAVE A PUERTO RICAN SLIP ANDSLIDE GOING ON IN TEN MINUTES.

>> A BIG HAWK FLYING OVER A BABYSQUIRREL, GOLF COURSES, AND THAT

BIG HAWK COMES DOWN AND GRABSTHE SQUIRREL, DO YOU SHOOT THE

HAWK OFF OR LET HIM EAT THESQUIRREL?

DO YOU KILL THE SQUIRREL OR KILLTHE HAWK?

(LAUGHTER)>> Larry: I THINK I AM SITTING

THERE TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THEANALOGY IS WHAT I'M DOING.

(LAUGHTER)>> HERE'S THE ANALOGY OF IT --

THE WATER COMPANY, THEY HAVETHEIR OWN FAMILIES TO FEED AND

NEED THE WATER.

>> Larry: RIGHT.

ARE YOU GOING TO KILL THEWATER COMPANY --

>> Larry: I'M SORRY, BUT THISDOES NOT SOUND LIKE SCARFACE.

I HAVE TO BRING OUT MY ANNOTATEDGUIDE TO SCARFACE BECAUSE THIS

DOESN'T SOUND LIKE -- OKAY, THISIS FROM THE GHETTO BOY SONG,

"DAMN IT'S GOOD TO BE A GANGSTA,FEEDING THE POOR AND HELPING OUT

WITH THEY BILLS."

WHY YOU GOT TO BE SO BRAND-NEW,BROTHER?

>> I'M NOT BRAND-NEW!

HE'S BRAND-NEW!

>> Larry: LET'S MOVE ON TO THEBODY CAMERAS.

WE SHOWED YOU THE VIDEO OF THECOP WHO WENT OUT OF HIS WAY NOT

TO SHOOT.

THAT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO,I SUPPOSE, EVEN THOUGH THE GUY

WAS KNOWN TO BE A MURDERER.

I WAS A LITTLE CONFUSED.

DID HE DO THE RIGHT THING THERE?

>> YEAH.

THE GUY'S ALIVE.

SOMEONE'S ALIVE RIGHT NOW.

THAT SHOULD BE APPLAUDED, THEGUY IS STILL ALIVE.

IT'S AN AMAZING THING.

(APPLAUSE)HE COULD HAVE WENT, SHOT HIM AND

USED EVERY EXCUSE -- WELL, HEHAD MY TASER.

WHY IS THAT THE NEW "THE DOG ATEMY HOMEWORK"?

(APPLAUSE)(LAUGHTER)

>> Larry: I'M AMAZED AT HOWMUCH RESTRAINT HE ACTUALLY

SHOWED.

WHY DO YOU THINK HE DIDN'TSHOOT?

>> YOU TRY YOUR BEST TO NOT DOIT.

THAT'S WHAT COPS ARE SUPPOSED TODO, NOT TRY TO KILL SOMEONE AND

BRING THEM IN SO THEY CAN BEPUNISHED!

(APPLAUSE)>> THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE SUPPOSED

TO DO.

>> Larry: I FEEL A COP AND ASQUIRREL COMING ON NOW

>> IF THERE'S A COP HAWK AND ASQUIRREL --

>> AND THE SQUIRREL IS BLACK,THAT SQUIRREL IS DEAD!

>> Larry: NOW I UNDERSTAND THEHAWK-SQUIRREL ANALOGY.

SO IF HE WAS BLACK, A DIFFERENTSTORY RIGHT?

>> I HAVE TO DRAW A FLAG ON THATPLAY BECAUSE BLACK FOLK GET SHOT

RUNNING THE OTHER WAY.

>> THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING.

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO WORRYABOUT THAT.

THE FACT THAT WE'RE CELEBRATINGTHAT SOMEONE DIDN'T GET SHOT --

>> THIS COP DIDN'T DO THE RIGHTTHING.

>> LET'S FLIP THE SHOE.

>> Larry: LET'S FLIP THE SHOE!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT ANYTHING HESAYS MEANS!

>> IF THE COP WAS HERE AND TOLDME TO BREATHE AND I STOOD UP,

I'M DEAD.

>> Larry: I'M ALMOST SHOTYOU RIGHT NOW, SCARFACE.

I WAS VERY CONCERNED.

I WAS THAT CLOSE AND I HAVE ACAMERA ON ME RIGHT NOW!

(LAUGHTER)I DON'T KNOW IF WE'LL EVER SOLVE

THIS PROBLEM.

LET'S ASK ALASKA, LET'S KEEP IT100.

WE'RE GOING TO DO THE SEGMENTKEEP IT 100.

FOR ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO DON'TKNOW WHAT THAT EXPRESSION MEANS,

IT MEANS KEEP IT 100 PERCENTREAL.

EVERYBODY GETS THE SAMEQUESTION.

CRISTELA, YOU'RE A POLICEOFFICER.

TWO MEN ARE CHARGING YOU, ABLACK GUY AND WHITE GUY.

ONE IS A CRIMINAL.

YOU ONLY HAVE ONE BULLET IN YOURGUN.

YOU HAVE TO SHOOT ONE OF THEM.

IF YOU PICK THE WRONG ONE, THECRIMINAL WILL KILL YOU.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

YEAH, EXACTLY.

DAMN!

KEEP IT 100.

>> OH, MAN!

I GUESS I'D SHOOT THE WHITE GUYTO BE DIFFERENT.

(APPLAUSE)(LAUGHTER)

>> Larry: I DON'T KNOW IFTHAT GETS A STICKER OR

SOME TEA. HMM... I DON'T KNOW IFWE CAN TECHNICALLY GIVE IT A 100

FOR THIS GAME.

>> THAT'S HARD.

I'M KILLING WHITE GUY RIGHTAWAY.

>> Larry: RIGHT AWAY?

NOT EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT?

YOU'RE WHITE!

>> THEY'RE BOTH KILLERS.

>> Larry: YOU'RE HALF WHITE.

HALF PUERTO RICAN.

WHITE PEOPLE KILL PEOPLE MOREWEIRD THAN BLACK PEOPLE.

>> Larry: THAT MAKES SENSE.

OKAY, SO FOR THAT YOU GET ASTICKER!

ALL RIGHT, SCARFACE.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

>> I'M GOING TO OPT OUT.

(AUDIENCE BOOING)>> I THINK I'M NOT GOING TO

ANSWER THE QUESTION.

>> Larry: WHAT ARE YOU GOINGTO DO, SCARFACE?

YOU'RE NOT ANSWERING AT ALL?

>> NO, MAN.

IN ALL HONESTY -- HOLD ON ASECOND.

>> Larry: OKAY!

THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE FORTONIGHT.

I WANT TO THANK OUR PANELISTS --RICKY VELEZ, CRISTELA ALONZO AND

SCARFACE.

REMEMBER, HEAD TO THETheNightlyShow.com TO CHECK OUT

OUR PANELISTS' BODY CAM FOOTAGEFROM TONIGHT.

AND SPEAKING OF THE INTERWEB,FOLLOW US ON TWITTER, "LIKE" US

ON Facebook, AND TOLERATE USON INSTAGRAM.

UNTIL TOMORROW, GOODNIGHTLY,EVERYONE!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)♪♪

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)♪♪

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)♪♪

Captioning sponsored by COMEDY CENTRAL

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH

WELCOME BACK.