Art Imitates Death

  • Season 1, Ep 10
  • 05/27/2015

Jack, Ben, Cuba and all the other parties involved in "Monkey Largo" ready themselves for the dangers ahead.

Where should we start, boys?

Wrongful death of Jimmy Staats?

Attempting to recorda federal agent?

Possession of enoughSchedule 2 narcotics...

to put you away for 15 years!

Breaking and entering!

Okay, you are gonna laugh...

Dude, this is gonna be funny....when you hear this story.

Really?Starting with last night.

Yeah.You know, we hear that Rico...

the chimp actor thatwe've been working with...

Might be a snitch.he's working with you guys.

Or so we think.

Cuba comes in--

He tells us thatMonkey Largo is a fake!

We had no idea.Then he takes us to this house,

And yeah,Jason Alexander's house.

[BEN] Who does not likeSeinfeld, by the way...So Cuba has us rob him blind.

but is a big child trafficker.[JACK] We're like, "What thehell are you doing?"

The next thing we know, bam,there's an explosion.He's kind of like a Scarface.

Explosion!We don't know where--

Enough!Cuba could have been molestedby our father.

Now you listen to me.Yeah.

I can make this go away.

Yes.Thank you so freakin'--.

Sit down!

Okay, sorry.All right.

If--Del sucks your [BLEEP].

Del?

If... you wear a wireto the set today.

Whoa! Okay.

Cuba Gooding Jr. might haveexploded and could be dead.Yeah, he is-- he--

[JACK] Or he's in Cuba...we have no idea.[BEN] There is no set anymore.

If you need, you know, 60,70 hours community service...

to save face...Clean up garbageon the side of the road.

we will do whateverthe hell it is.

But wear a wire... crazy.

'Cause Cuba's dead.Yeah, gone.

CUBA RINGTONE (ON PHONE) Show me the money, mother--

CUBA RINGTONE (ON PHONE) Show me the money, mother--

CUBA RINGTONE (ON PHONE) Show me the money, mother--

Ooh, the dead has arisen. CUBA RINGTONE (ON PHONE) Show me the money, mother--

CUBA RINGTONE (ON PHONE) Show me the money, mother-- Answer it... on speaker.

Hello?

Hah-hah, hah-hah!Jack! Where you at?

Where are we?Where the hell are you?

You know where I'm at,I'm on set!

Listen, I need you and your brother to get over here ASAP!

The financiers are here now...

and they want us to shootthat scene right now.

So hurry the hell up!

I mean, y'all couldn't havefound a black mannequin hand?

Well...

wire...Florida prison shower?

There's no greater joythan a big butt boy.

Okay, you know what,I know my rights.

I would like a lawyeror a phone call!Yeah.

Or something besides thisfreaking situation!

Your court-appointed attorneywas due 15 minutes ago.

Well, where the hell is he?

Oh, my god, sorry I'm late.It was one hell of a night.

Ted?Hey, guys.

Are you-- are you our lawyer?

I didn't know I wasrepresenting you.

Yeah, yes, I know these guysfrom church.

Don't-- don't say anythingabout the toilet cam videosor the crack, shh.

Yes, I am your lawyer, trust me.You're in good hands.

What were you sayingabout wearing a wire?

JACK ( ON VOICEMAIL) You've reached Dolfe Brothers Studios...

Can I get you some cheese,you rat bitch?

Oh, my god, Jack,it's not Del's fault!

Then whose fault is it?

It's our fault!All of this is our fault!

Jesus!I guess it is our fault.

You know, it's our faultfor befriending Delin the first place.

God knows there's somethingwrong with him.

But you know what?

What?

I'd do it all again.

What?

I mean not everything, but mostof it, because think about it...

in the end, really,what are we guilty of?

I mean, you want meto list all the stuff?No, no, no...

I mean, what made us dowhat we did to get in here?

Well, we were chasingour dream.

Exactly!Okay.

We were just chasing our dream!

We were chasingour freaking dream.

Okay, did we commita few crimes?

Yes, we did!

Did Jimmy Staats die?

Yes-- yes, he did.

Did we defecate a corpse?

Desecrate, yes.

Yes, but did we stick together?

Yes, we stuck together!Yes!

Yes!Yeah!

Shut up, Del!I'm not over it!

I'm trying to forgive you,but I haven't yet.

I tell you one thing, Jack,I got a crazy idea.

Just hearing you saythat makes me wet.

I say, no matter what happens,we finish Monkey Largo!

We are finishing Monkey Lar--

Technically, it is an elaboratesting operation, I want to bringthat up.

But it's our elaborate stingoperation, right?

Yes! Who gives a [BLEEP]?

Yeah, it's our goddamn movie!

It is our [BLEEP] movie!

Yes!Yes!

Get over here, Del!I'm sorry, guys!

That's okay, Del!

I love you!I love you, Del!

I love you guys!

Okay, it's time, let's go.

Wire us up, you pigson-of-a-bitch!

What?

[JACK] I apologize.[BEN] Yeah, he didn't mean that.

Let's dance, bitch.

Agh!

Oh, no, no, no, no!

Not good. Not good.

Okay, okay, wait!

You ruined everything!

No!

Wait, wait, wait, wait!

( GUN FIRES )

Rico!Rico!

You saved my life!

Well, I'll be!Oh, my god! You had abulletproof vest?

Looks like our little chimpfriend here saved--

Oh! Rico!

Whoa! Whoa!

Put it down! Rico!

[JACK]That was a police officer!

You tried to save my life.

You're my little brother.

Of course, I did.Hey, ooh, careful!

Get in here, Del.

Hey.Hey.

What happened?

Hey, yo!

It was great workingwith you, fellas!

Where are you going?

Wherever the wind takes me,my brother, wherever the windtakes me.

Awesome.Hey!

Who's got two opposable thumbsand loves you like crazy?

Did we write that?We wrote that.

Yeah.

I'll see youwhen I see you, fellas!

Cuba Gooding Jr. is the coolest.

He's the best!

I didn't really getto know him.

[BEN] Oh.[JACK] I think he liked you.

[BEN]We should go.

Yeah, we should-- we should--We should go.

We should definitely go.Dad? We should go.

Okay, okay, yeah, good idea.

Uh, I'm gonna-- I'm gonnarinse off real quick.