Stuntzstravaganza

  • Season 1, Ep 8
  • 11/18/2015

When Rad beats Dazzle to a parking spot, Dazzle seeks the guidance of his estranged stuntman father while Rad struggles to escape the parking garage.

(Dazzle)I was 15 years old,in the hot, sticky center

of the greatest summerof my life,

working in the high-octane,rip-and-occasionally-roaring

stunt spectacular.

I spent each day helping outthe baddest, assiest

stunt driver on the planet,my father, Razzle Novak.

Bing, bang, boom.

(Dazzle)I wanted to be just like him,

albeit, with a clean slate,STD-wise.

Rumor has ithe ran the venereal gamut.

By summer's end,I'd developed an incurable taste

for a spicy delicacycalled danger.

That's not fair!

Why can't I drivein the show?

Hmm. How can I putthis delicately?

You're the worst driverI've ever seen.

I knew he was sayingthose things just to protect me.

Now, you may thinkI'm just saying these things

to protect you,but your driving blows, baby.

He would rather break my heartthan put it in danger.

Feel free to put yourselfin danger anywhere else,

just not herewhere my stunt buds can see.

You're wrong, Dad!And I'll prove it!

Attention!

The great Dazzle Novak

is about to performthe Quintriple Flip N' Split!

No, son, you couldnever pull it off!

The triqumple maybe,but not the quintriple!

[tires squealing]

[crash]

Was that your son?

No, not my son.

Definitely not my son.

(Dazzle)My dad banned mefrom the track,

and we haven't spoken since.

To get my danger fix,I was forced to become a cop,

which was going okayuntil this parking thing.

Now there is but one pathto my redemption.

It doesn't involve rescuingsome kidnapped girls, does it?

- Nope.- I didn't think so.

I need to learnto drive my dick off.

And there's only one man whocan help me drive my dick off.

[rock music]

[crowd cheering]

Ha ha ha!

Once I kill that idiotOfficer Speed Damon,

I'll take over the schoolswith my machine

that turns rock musicinto drugs.

(all)Boo!

Aw, boo!

Are you kids or ghosts?

Who's gonna stop me?

I don't see Officer Damonanywhere!

- He's behind you!- He's right behind you, idiot!

- Where?- Right here, Don Fatsoli!

[boing]

Ow, you stupidcop-compoop!

[slide whistle blows]

No!Why, you--

Aw!

(male announcer)And cut!

In the roleof Officer Speed Damon,

give it up for 40-yearstunt veteran Razzle Novak!

Enjoy the rest of your dayat Mooniversal Studios.

Excuse me.[chuckles]

My son can't see.

Get a taller son.What do you want from me?

Remember, kids,

try any and allof these stunts at home.

It's the only wayyou're gonna learn.

There were two thingsracing 100 miles an hour today--

your car and my heart.

Do I hear the sound

not of burning tiresbut of yearning eye tears?

Razzle.

Dazzle.

Razzle.

Dazzle.

Razzle.

Dazzle.

- Razzle.- Dazzle!

Okay, first stuntmanto perform

the ten stuntiest stunts

in the mega-stunt warehousewins the stunt-off.

Are we clear, fellas?

- Yeah!- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[engines revving]

Ready! Set! Drop!

Yee-haw!

So what,is this like a race?

No, it's a stunt-off.Jeez!

[tires squealing]

Oh, no!Dazzle keeps hitting things.

Hitting things is goodin a stunt-off.

Why aren't yougetting this?

[Rad grunting]

Fall into death's arms,unvalidated one.

Ah, never!

[crowd oohs]

Ah, brick wall!

[yells]

Damn.Kitch is winning.

He's nearly achievedmaximum stuntitude.

'Tis my darkest hour.

What do I do?

(Razzle)Dazzle...

[gasps]Razzle?

Dazzle, baby.

I have come to guide youfrom the realm of the ethanol.

Do you mean "ethereal"?

Probably.

Even from Heaven,

you are clearly losingthis stunt-off.

There's only one stuntstunty enough

to defeat Legstrong.

[rock music]

(both)Quintriple Flip N' Split.

[engine revving,tires squealing]

[both screaming]

[crowd cheers]

You've made methe proudest ghost in Heaven!

Say hi to Grandpa Frazzlefor me.

Actually,Grandpa Frazzle's in hell.

He did terrible,terrible things.

Kitch Legstrong,you are under arrest.

Chrysalis,de-pants this man!

[slide whistle blows]- No!