August 11, 2015 - Ferguson Anniversary & Paid Parental Leave

  • 08/11/2015

Gun violence breaks out at a protest in Ferguson, Mo., and Larry examines Netflix's paid parental leave policy with Carey Reilly, Regina Hall and Jordan Carlos.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> WELCOME TO THE NIGHTLY

SHOW.

I AM LARRY WILMORE.

WHAT A GREAT CROWD.

WE HAVE A GOOD SHOW FOR YOUTONIGHT THIS.

PAST SUNDAY MARKED ONE YEARSINCE THE SHOOTING DEATH

MICHAEL BROWN AND THE UPRISINGIN FERGUSON. I CAN'T BELIEVE

IT'S BEEN A YEAR ALREADY.

IT'S CRAZY HOW TIME FLIES WHENYOU'RE IN CONSTANT PANIC

ABOUT GETTING SHOT BY THE COPS.

>> Larry: OBVIOUSLY IT WAS A

SOLEMN ANNIVERSARY.

LET'S CHECK IN ON FERGUSON ANDSEE HOW THEY'RE COMMEMORATING

THE OCCASION.>> ANGRY PROTESTERS CLASHING

WITH POLICE. POLICE DEPLOYINGTEARGAS.

>> ANOTHER SHOOTING INVOLVINGPLAINCLOTHES OFFICERS AFTER

POLICE SAY THEY WERE UNDER HEAVYFIRE.

>> Larry: DRE.

>> HEY, LARRY

Larry: DRE, YOU GOT ONE CLAP.

NICE.

IT'S OKAY.

DRE, I THINK YOU ACCIDENTALLYSHOWED FOOTAGE FROM LAST YEAR.

YOU KNOW, ALL OF THAT STUFF.

I WANTED TO SEE FOOTAGE FROMSUNDAY NIGHT.

THE PEACEFUL STUFF.

>> ALRIGHT.

SORRY ABOUT THAT.

LET ME SEE HERE.

>> ANGRY PROTESTERS CLASHINGWITH POLICE.

POLICE DEPLOYING TEARGAS.

>> Larry: OKAY, DRE.

DRE, YOU PLAYED THE SAME THING.

THAT WAS FROM LAST YEAR.

I WANT SOMETHING FROM SUNDAY.

>> THIS IS FROM SUNDAY NIGHT,LARRY.

>> Larry: OH, OH.

>> YA, YA.

I'M BOTHERED BY IT TOO.

>> Larry: THANKS.

MAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

ARE WE REALLY HERE AGAIN?

THERE IS SUPPOSED TO BE A COMMEMORATION AND PEOPLE STARTED TO

SHOOT.

>> THREE ROUNDS OF GUNFIRE. ONESHOOTING BREAKING OUT

WITH PROTESTERS RUNNINGFOR COVER.

>> Larry: SO IN ONE YEAR NOPROGRESS WAS MADE.

>> POLICE BEING CAREFUL TO SAYTHOSE DOING THE SHOOTING ARE

NOT PART OF THE PROTEST

>> PEOPLE HAVE WORKED HARD.

NOT THE POLICE DEPARTMENT BUTTHE COMMUNITY THEY HAVE WORKED

TOO HARD TO BE UNDERMINED.

>> Larry: A COP HAS SAID THEPROTESTERS WEREN'T THE SHOOTERS.

I GUESS THERE WAS A LITTLEPROGRESS.

ALRIGHT.

THAT'S NOT BAD.

[ APPLAUSE ]>> Larry: NORMALLY WHEN YOU

THINK ABOUT IT. NORMALLYSHOOTINGS AND

PROTESTS ARE CONFLATED AS ONEAND THE SAME. JUST LIKE HOW

TWO CHARMING DEBONAIRSCREEN STARS CAN BE CONFUSED FOR

EACH OTHER LIKE IDRIS ELBA AND THIS GUY.

THIS ONE, LADIES.

WELL, HEY, DRE.

NOT COOL, DRE.

NO.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Larry: I BET YOU'RE SORRY.

BY THE WAY NOT ONLY DO I HAVE TOGIVE POLICE CREDIT.

I HAVE TO GIVE FOX CREDIT.

THEY REPORTED THIS.

OF COURSE IT WAS SHEP SMITH WHOIS THE MARILYN MUNSTER OF THE

FOX NEWS TEAM.

>> Larry: THANK YOU FOR GETTINGTHAT REFERENCE.

I APPRECIATE IT IT'S A BIG DEALFOR THE MEDIA TO SEE THINGS THIS

WAY.

NORMALLY THIS IS HOW THE MEDIASEES A PROTESTER AND THIS IS HOW

THEY SEE A CRIMINAL.

ALRIGHT.

I GIVE FOX CREDIT FOR BEINGFAIR.

LET'S NOT FORGET FOX IS ALSOBALANCED.

>> THIS IS NOTHING MORE THAN ARETURN TO THE SCENE OF THE

BIG LIE. THE HANDS UP, DON'TSHOOT.

THE BLACK LIVES MATTER MOVEMENT.

A FALSE NARRATIVE OUT OFFERGUSON.

[BOOING]>> Larry: I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU

DO IT, FOX.

IT'S LIKE YOU KEEP THESEBROTHERS IN A ROOM.

RIGHT.

WE NEED A BLACK GUY AGAINSTBLACK LIVES MATTER.

YA, HEY, HEY.

COPS EVEN BETTER, BRING HIM OUT.

WHERE DO THEY COME FROM.

YOU KNOW, REGARDLESS OF WHATSAMUEL ANGRY JACKSON SAYS,

THE DOJ FOUND NOTHINGWRONG IN THE MICHAEL BROWN CASE

BUT THEY ALSO FOUND THIS.

>> WHAT THE DOJ REPORT SHOWEDWAS A SYSTEM THAT IN FACT REALLY

PLAYED ON AFRICAN AMERICANS ANDPOOR CITIZENS.

THE COURT SYSTEM IS VIGOROUSLYPROSECUTING PEOPLE WHO WERE

ARRESTED LAST YEAR.

FOR INSTANCE FOR VIOLATIONS OFNOISE DURING THE PROTEST.

>> Larry: NOISE VIOLATIONSDURING THE PROTEST? THE POINT

OF THE PROTEST IS TO MAKE NOISE.

RIGHT.

THAT'S LIKE ARRESTING THE KIDSON "SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE"

FOR THEM THINKING THEY CANDANCE.

THAT'S KIND OF THE WHOLE POINT,RIGHT.

NOW IN FERGUSON 2.0 OBVIOUSLYTHESE ABSURD VIOLATIONS HAVE

CEASED AFTER THE DOJ REPORT,RIGHT.

>> THE CITY HAS ISSUED MORE THAN2300 NEW ARREST WARRANTS THIS

YEAR.

THOUSANDS FACE ARRESTS FORVIOLATIONS AS SMALL AS OWNING

DELINQUINT CARS, JAYWALKING ORHAVING A OVERGROWN LAWN.

>> Larry: OVER GROWN LAWN.

WHAT THE [BEEP], MAN.

WHAT ARE YOU IN FOR?

I KILLED A MAN TO WATCH HIM DIE.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

I LET THE DANDELIONS ENCROACH ONMY WALKWAY.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Larry: I'D DO IT AGAIN.

I'D DO IT AGAIN.

OKAY.

FOR THOSE PLAYING ALONG AT HOMELET'S SUM THIS UP QUICK.

POLICE ACTED UP.

PEOPLE PROTESTED.

GOVERNMENT TOOK ACTION.

POLICE IGNORED IT.

PEOPLE ARE PROTESTING AGAIN.

OR AS BLACK PEOPLE CALL ITSUMMER TIME.

TO MEASURE OR PROGRESS IN THISFIRST ANNIVERSARY OF FERGUSON WE

TURN TO MIKE YARD FOR OURSEGMENT

LOOK HOW FAR WE HAVE COME.

>> I HAVE A DREAM.

>> WE ARE EQUAL IN THE EYES OFGOD.

>> GOD BLESS THE UNITED STATESOF AMERICA.

>> Larry: VERY NICE.

WELCOME TO THE SHOW, MIKE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> THANK YOU.

SO NICE.

>> Larry: THERE HAS BEEN SOMEGOOD.

SOME BAD.

HOW FAR HAVE WE COME?

>> WE'RE [BEEP], LARRY.

[LAUGHING]>> Larry: OKAY.

GIVE ME -- WELL, I KNOW IT LOOKS BAD.

IT HAS TO BE BETTER THAN LASTYEAR.

>> YOU KNOW HOW SO FAR WE HAVECOME, LARRY.

YOU TAKE ALL OF THE MEDIAATTENTION.

THE DOJ REPORTS, THE WHITEOFFICERS, THE OFFICERS FIRED OR

CHARGED, FACTOR IN THE OTHERBLACK LIVES TAKEN THIS YEAR.

THE OFFICERS THAT DID GET OFFAND THE MEDIA FATIGUE AND WE

HAVE COME ABOUT THIS FAR.

THAT'S IT.

>> Larry: THAT'S NOT A VERY BIGDISTANCE.

>> NO, IT'S NOT, LARRY.

NOT AT ALL.

IT'S A DISTANCE THE AIR MOVESWHEN A BABY BIRD FLAPS IT'S

WINGS.

>> Larry: LOOK ON THE BRIGHTSIDE THE BABY BIRD WILL FLY.

>> YOU DIDN'T LET ME FINISH.WHEN A BABY BIRD FLAPS ITS WINGS

AFTER IT'S TOSSED OUT OF THENEST TOO SOON AND PLUMMETS TO

IT'S DEATH.

THAT'S HOW FAR.

>> Larry: THAT'S SAD.

>> WE HAVE PROGRESSED THE SAMEDISTANCE OF A CATERPILLAR.

>> Larry: CATERPILLARS TURN INTOBUTTERFLIES.

>> WHOSE LEGS WERE CUT OFF BYA SICK TEENAGER.

WE'RE AN ANCIENT GREEK MARATHONRUNNER INCHES FROM THE FINISH

LINE.

AT LEAST WE'RE INCH FROM THEFINISH LINE.

>> THE FINISH LINE IS IN POMPEI>> BUT IF THEY'RE GREEK, ISN'T

POMPEI IN ITALY?>> IT'S A MARATHON, LARRY!

IT'S A LONG RUN.

>> Larry: I UNDERSTAND.

>> WE TRAVELED THE SAMEDISTANCE AS A CHILD'S WISH WHEN

THE WISH IS TO EAT ICE CREAM FORBREAKFAST, LARRY.

>> Larry: THAT MAKES NO SENSE.

>> I CAN'T THINK ANYMORE, LARRY.

I HAVE FERGUSON FATIGUE, LARRY. I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE OVER.

YOU THINK MY BRAIN CAN KEEPCOMING UP WITH RACIAL INJUSTICE

METAPHORS FOR YOUR SHOW.

IT'S EXHAUSTING, BROTHER.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Larry: OKAY.

I DON'T KNOW IF THEY'RE CLAPPINGFOR MY STUPID SHOW.

>> I DON'T KNOW EITHER.

Larry: MIKE, I WOULDN'T OFASKED YOU TO REPORT ON FERGUSON

IF I KNEW IT TROUBLED YOU SOMUCH.

>> IT'S OKAY.

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

I'M BETTER NOW.

YOU KNOW, LARRY.

IT'S THIS SITUATION LIKE ABUCKET OF RAIN DANCE.

>> Larry: OKAY.

MIKE YARD, EVERYBODY.

>> LIKE A DIRTY BOWLING ALLEY

>> WELCOME BACK. FOR YEARS NOW.

THE U.S. GOVERNMENT IS UNDERFIRE FOR A FAILURE TO GIVE

MANDATORY PAID LEAVE TO PARENTS.

ONE AMERICAN COMPANY IS PUTTINGTHEIR MONEY WHERE THE EMPLOYEES

OVARIES ARE.

>> NETFLIX NOW ROCKING THECORPORATE WORLD ANNOUNCING A

FULL YEAR OF PAID LEAVE FOR NEWMOMS AND DADS.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Larry: GO AHEAD, NETFLIX.

GUY THIS IS IS GREAT FOR TWOREASONS.

FIRST, GOOD FOR YOU FOR TRAILBLAZING THE WAY FOR PARENTS.

SECOND, NOW THAT MORE NETFLIXEMPLOYEES WILL BE STUCK AT HOME

WITH NOTHING TO DO BUT WATCHNETFLIX FOR A YEAR, MAYBE WE

WILL START GET SOMETHING BETTERVIEWING OPTIONS.

LIKE --[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Larry: I MEAN SERIOUSLY, STOPTRYING TO MAKE LILLY HAMMER

HAPPEN.

STOP IT.

STOP IT.

WITH NETFLIX TAKING THE LEADOTHER COMPANIES ARE FOLLOWING

THE POLICY AS WELL

>> MICROSOFT IS FOLLOWINGNETFLIX'S LEAD ALLOWING MORE

PARENTAL LEAVE FOR NEW MOMS ANDDADS.

THEY'RE UPPING LEAVE FROM 12 TO20 WEEKS.

>> Larry: OH.

[ APPLAUSE ]>> Larry: NICE ONE, MICROSOFT.

SO UNLIKE YOU TO COPY A BETTERCOMPANY.

FOLKS, ANYHOW NOT TO BE OUT DONEBLOCKBUSTER IS GIVING MOTHERS A

COUPON FOR A FREE SANDWICH ATJIMMY JOHNS.

BAM.

BAM.

FOR MORE WE TURN TO A NETFLIXEMPLOYEE, DANA ARCHER.

HOW IS IT, DANE.

>> Alanna: LET ME ASK YOU, AREYOU EXCITED ABOUT THE PARENTAL

LEAVE POLICY?

>> HELL NO.

I WORK IN THE DVD SHIPPINGCENTER.

PARENTAL LEAVE IS ONLY FORSALARIED STREAMING EMPLOYEES.

>> Larry: WAIT, THERE IS ADIFFERENCE.

>> YES STREAMING EMPLOYEES ARECORPORATE.

WE ARE THE PART-TIME PEOPLE HEREAT 2A.M. TO SEND OUT COPIES OF

TWISTER, NOBODY IS WATCHING.

WE DON'T GET PARENTAL LEAVE.

>> Larry: IT LOOKS LIKE YOU DOMORE THAN SHIP DVDs.

>> OF COURSE.

I AM.

ALL THE BIG WIGS GOT PARENTALLEAVE NOW SOMEONE HAS TO PICK UP

THE SLACK. I'M STUFFINGENVELOPES , DEBUGGING THE SITE

AND STUCKWRITING THE NEW SEASON OF "GRACE

& FRANKIE."

>> Larry: RIDICULOUS.

WAY TOO MUCH WORK.

>> SPOILER ALERT.

I'M KILLING FRANKIE IN THE FIRSTEPISODE.

>> Larry: NO, NO.

DON'T DO THAT.

NO, NO, NO.

LILLY TOMLIN IS A NATIONALTREASURE.

>> DANA I NEED HELP CLEANINGOUT THE AIR DUCTS.

X FILES IS DOWN -->> YOU NEED TO HELP ME STUFF THE

ENVELOPES.

>> Larry: WHO IS THIS.

>> MY CO-WORKER.

SAY HI TO LARRY, MITCH.

>> Larry: MITCH, WHAT DO YOUTHINK ABOUT THE PARENTAL LEAVE

POLICY.

>> I DON'T KNOW.

I THINK IT'S PROGRESSIVE FOR ACOMPANY WHOSE MAILING DVDs TO

PEOPLES HOUSES.

>> Larry: UHH, MITCH, DO YOUHAVE KIDS?

DOES IT AFFECT YOU.

>> YES.

ME AND THE MISSES HAD A SET OFTWINS.

>> Larry: SO IS YOUR WIFE HOMEWITH THEM.

>> NO, SHE HAS TO BABY SIT THECFOs KIDS SO WE CAN FEED OURS.

>> Larry: THAT'S HORRIBLE.

NETFLIX DOESN'T OFFER YOU ANYCHILD CARE OPTIONS ?

>> KIND OF THEY OFFER MEUNLIMITED DVDs.

IT'S KIND OF A UNLIMITED BABYSITTER.

ONLY NOBODY WATCHES THEM BACK.

>> Larry: MAYBE THIS IS THEFIRST STEP.

I'M SURE THE NEXT STEP IS YOUGETTING THE SAME BENEFITS,

RIGHT?

>> NO.

THE NEXT STEP IS ME FIGURING OUTHOW TO BECOME A CEO AND THEN

FIGURING OUT HOW TO HAVE A BABY.

>> DANA I COULD HELP WITHYOU THE SECOND PART OF THAT.

>> AREN'T YOU MARRIED.

>> I'M NOT HAPPY --[LAUGHING]

>> Larry: WAIT.

WHAT IS GOING ON?

>> NETFLIX DROVE ME TO THIS --Larry: GUYS.

OH, MY GOD.

THIS IS TERRIBLE.

TERRIBLE.

DANA AND MITCH, EVERYONE.

WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING

>> WELCOME BACK OUR NIGHTLY SHOWWRITER, JORDAN CARLOS

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Larry: VERY FUNNY COMEDIAN,

CAREY REILLY.

AND HER NEW MOVIE "PEOPLE,PLACES, THINGS" OPENED THIS

FRIDAY ACTRESS REGINA HALL.

WE TALKED ABOUT THIS.

THIS IS JUST IN THE NEWS THIS.

IS NETFLIX IS STARTING THIS ANDOTHER PEOPLE ARE FOLLOWING.

A PAID YEAR OF MATERNITY ANDPATERNITY LEAVE.

>> WOW.

AWESOME.

>> RIGHT.

Larry: DOES THIS SOUND LIKE AGOOD IDEA.

>> IT'S BALONEYLarry: BALONEY.

>> I HAVE TWO KIDS. WHY DOES THEHUSBAND NEED A YEAR?

WHAT DID HE DO TO GET THOSEKIDS?

>> Larry: HE DID A LITTLETHING --

>> I CARRIED THEM FOR NINEMONTHS.

YOU KNOW AND SAT ON A SIT BATHFOR TEN DAYS.

AM I RIGHT.

AFTER A YEAR A LOT HAPPENS IN AYEAR.

I GAINED 30 POUNDS IN A YEAR.

>> Larry: YOU LOOK GREAT.

>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

Larry: I DON'T AGREE -->> MATERNITY LEAVE AND PATERNITY

LEAVE.

I AGREE WITH ETERNITY LEAVE. ILOVE MY KID, WOULD TAKE OFF

WITH HIM RIGHT NOW.

WE JUST GET ON THE RADIO FLIERAND NEVER LOOK BACK.

>> THAT IS CRAZY . HOW WOULD YOUMAKE MONEY?

>> I SAID I WOULD.

IT'S A HYPOTHETICAL.

>> I CAN DREAM.

>> I DREAM I COULD.

Larry: DO YOU THINK THEFATHER NEEDS THAT YEAR OFF?

>> ARE THEY, IS IT A BABY DADDYOR ARE THEY TOGETHER?

I MEAN IT CAN'T BE LIKE -->>

Larry: THAT COULD BE ONEOF THE ABUSES OF THE WHOLE

THING.

I JUST HAD A BABY>> LARRY, I WOULD SAY I'M A

PROGRESSIVE DAD.

>> Larry: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN.

>> I NEED THAT YEAR OFF.

I'M GETTING OVER THE TRAUMA OFCHILD BIRTH.

MY OWN CHILD BIRTH.

ALSO WHAT MY WIFE, YOU KNOW,DID.

>> Larry: IT CAN BE DANGEROUS.

IF YOU'RE AWAY FROM YOUR JOB FORA LONG TIME.

I DON'T THINK THAT HAPPENS FORAN ACTRESS.

ACTRESSES NEVER TAKE A YEAR OFFWHO IS COMING UP.

>>WHO IS COMING UP.

Larry: YOU'RE SO AFRAID -->> NOT IN THE BEGINNING.

Larry: YOU'RE WORRIED OFSOMEONE ELSE COMING UP.

>> SHOWING UP WITH A BABY -->> I AUDITIONED.

>> I WAS PREGNANT WITH MYDAUGHTER.

I HAD MY DAUGHTER.

I BOOKED PRETTY GOOD ROLES.

MY AGENT WOULDN'T RETURN MYCALLS.

>> Larry: REALLY.

>> YES.

Larry: BECAUSE YOU HAD ABABY.

>> I SAID I HAD A BABY I'M NOTDEAD.

HE SAID SAME THING.

I NEVER HEARD FROM HIM AGAIN.

>> Larry: DO YOU THINK WOMEN AREPENALIZED IN THE WORK PLACE FOR

HAVING BABIES.

>> YES, COMPLETELY.

>> YOU'RE FORCED, EXPECTATION TOSNAP BACK AND REGAIN YOUR

PHYSIQUE.

>> YES.

>> THERE IT IS.

Larry: EXPLAIN YOURSELFBETTER.

>> I THINK I SAID IT ALL.

YES, THERE IS AN UNFAIREXPECTATION FOR WOMEN TO BOUNCE

BACK AND LOOK GOOD.

LOSE THE BABY WEIGHT.

PERSONALLY I, I ALSO GAINEDWEIGHT WITH MY WIFE.

>> THAT'S VERY KIND.

Larry: IT ALWAYS COMES BACKTO YOUR EXPERIENCE.

[LAUGHING]>> NO, IT WAS OUR SHARED

EXPERIENCE.

>> Larry: I THINK THEY SHOULDPASS A LAW ALL FATHERS GET A

YEAR OFF EXCEPT JORDAN CARLOS.

>> NO.>> SINGLE PEOPLE PROBABLY

THINK PEOPLE HAVING BABIES AREJUST LAZY. DOES IT BREED

RESENTMENT INTHE WORK PLACE FOR SOMEONE

GETTING A YEAR OFF.

>> WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT ITBABIES -- THEY HAVE TO EAT.

[LAUGHING]>> I MEAN YOU CAN'T LEAVE THEM

ALONE.

FOR MEN THEY DISCOVER THE STUDYYOU'RE --

>> MY PECS.

>> THE BABIES THEY LIE ON YOURBODY FOR HALF AN HOUR EVERY DAY.

THE MEN ARE DOING THAT TO BOND.

>> THAT'S HOW THEY BOND.

RIGHT.

[LAUGHING]>> THAT'S INTERESTING.

Larry: THAT'S JUST A GUY'SEXCUSE TO WATCH TV.

>> YES.

Larry: NO, THE BABY NEEDS TOBOND.

WE'RE BONDING.

WHO DID THIS RESEARCH.

>> THE NFL.

STUDIES PROVE THAT MEN AND THEIRBABIES --

>> Larry: I THINK WOMEN TAKING AYEAR.

I GOT NO PROBLEM.

I'M SUSPICIOUS ABOUT THE GUYSTAKING A YEAR.

>> NO.

I HONESTLY -->> MY HUSBAND TOOK SIX WEEKS.

Larry: SIX WEEKS.

>> YES, HE DID.

Larry: WHAT KIND OF A JOBDOES HE HAVE.

>> HE'S IN ENTERTAINMENT.

NOT THAT KIND OF ENTERTAINMENT.

>> WE NEED YOU BACK ATCHIPPENDALES.

>> Larry: YOU LEFT IT AT THAT.

I HAVE TO REST WITH THAT.

[LAUGHING]>> YES.

Larry: OKAY HE TOOK 6 WEEKSOFF FROM ENTERTAINING.

>> YES.

THE BABY CAME, HE WENT FISHING.

>> OH.

>> I'M NOT KIDDING.

HE WAS REGROUPING.

HE WAS OVERWHELMED.

IT WAS LIKE WOW.

>> MEN WOULD GET A TASTE OF THECHALLENGES THAT MOTHERS FACE IF

THEY'RE HOME.

>> Larry: MEN WILL COMPLETELY AABUSE THIS.

IF A GUY GETS A YEAR OFF IT'SGOLF TRIPS AND THE BAHAMAS.

>> I WOULD NEVER GO TO THEBAHAMAS.

I WOULD GO TO THE SOUTH OFFRANCE.

>> YOU'RE VERY SENSITIVE.

>> THANK YOU.

I TRY TO BE 50/50 WITH MY WIFE.

>> Larry: MEANING? >> I LACTATE.

>> NO.

IT MEANS THAT -- IT MEANS THATIF MY WIFE NEEDS A BREAK I GIVE

HER A BREAK.

SHE WANTS TO GO TO YOGA. SHE CANGO.

I DON'T COMPLAIN. SHE'S MYDAUGHTER, I DO WHAT I HAVE TO DO

(APPLAUSE)

>> Larry: 50/50 -- HOLD ON.

>> YES.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> YES.

YES.

>> Larry: SO YOUR IDEA 50/50 ISYOU FILL-IN ON BREAK TIME.

I WANT TO BE CLEAR ABOUT YOUR50/50.

NOT 80/20

>> YOU WANT TO TAKE AN HOUR YOGACLASS, BABY.

I GOT IT.

>> Larry: YOU'RE ON FOR 23HOURS.

I GOT THIS HOUR.

BECAUSE WE'RE 50/50.

>> YOU MAKE IT SOUND SO AWFUL.

Larry: THAT'S EXACTLY WHATYOU SAID.

>> LARRY, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BEON MY SIDE.

I'M 50/50.

I COOK -->> Larry: BABY, YOU NEED A

BREAK. IF WE LEARNED ANYTHINGTONIGHT

IT'S THAT JORDAN CARLOS HATESKIDS AND HATES

HIS BABY.

WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK,EVERYBODY.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]Announcer: IF YOU LIVE IN THE

NEW YORK CITY AREA OR PLANNINGTO VISIT GRAB FREE TICKETS TO A

UPCOMING TAPING OF "THE NIGHTLYSHOW."