The Silence of the Clamps

  • Season 6, Ep 14
  • 07/14/2011

After testifying against the Robot Mafia, Bender goes into hiding in the witness relocation program.

People call our star witnessMr. X,

whose appearance will be alteredbe-caw-se he's in grave danger.

(gallery gasps,Hyperchicken clucks)

Bender, I've been lookingfor you.

Which cake do you like betterfor our wedding?

Bender?

Aah, fix it, fix it,fix it, fix it!

Whew, that was close.

Isn't it true, Mr. X,

that you are slanderingthis innocent mafioso

to distractfrom your own felonious past,

including a crimeyou made up yourself

called"burgle-arson-arceny"?

That's a whollyowned trademark

of RodriguezCrime Concepts, Inc.

Besides, I'm noton trial here.

That's true.

You're on trialin Courtroom Three.

You are charged

with two counts ofburgle-arson-arceny.

How do you plead?

Not inno-guilty-cent.

BENDER: And then the Donbot said, "Sorry, Calculon,"

and then Calculon said,

"No...!"

I think we've heard enough.

Wait, I'm not finished.

...o!Now I'm finished.

Your Honor,the prosecution roosts.

(clucks)

Have you reached a verdict?

Indeed.

After a steamy12-way deliberation,

we find the accused guilty as...

(door opens)CALCULON:Wait.

The Donbot is innocent.

(gasping)

Calculon,who is that escorting you?

Yes, who?

My personal trainer,and he's trained me

to say that my woundswere self-inflicted,

for you see I ama big Hollywood idiot dumb guy

what does dat sort of ting.

Poifect.

(indistinct whispering)

We find the Donbot...

Dramatic pause.

...not guilty.

(gasping)

Honey, if you'remarrying Bender,

you might want to geta black dress for the wedding.

That's goingto look hot.

Greetings, Francis.

Sorry if I wasa little hostile before,

but snipping is the only reasonI'm even tolerated around here.

Not like you, with thosemagnificent squeezers.

Squeezers? Squeezers?!

They're clamps,you (bleep)!

If I want to (bleep)snip with these clamps,

I will snip with these(bleep) clamps!

Why do you thinkthey call me...

Francis?

Francis,I have good news!

It's timefor your first delivery...

to the moon!

Fan (bleep) tastic!

Here's the 200 feet of ropeyou ordered, Sheriff Furley.

Hot diggity!

You fellers want to stick aroundfor the hanging tomorrow?

It's gonna be a doozy.

I sure do lovehanging people.

(laughs)

Well, I best startcutting the nooses.

Oh, you knowwho could help with that?

(claws clicking)

Francis!

Nice job, Francis.

I like howyou didn't get drunk

and steal anyone's organs,like our old robot.

Bender?!

Bender, it's me Fry!

Hee-yah!

Loading...