March 10, 2016 - Harriet Tubman & Kim Kardashian's Selfie

  • 03/10/2016

Robin Thede discovers that most people know nothing about Harriet Tubman, and Larry discusses Kim Kardashian's naked selfie with Peaches, Holly Walker and Grace Parra.

Whoo! Thank you very much.

Thank you so much.

Man! What a crowd!

What a... Ah! Thank you.

-(audience chanting "Larry!")-Thank you so much. Oh.

-Larry! Larry! Larry!-So kind.

-Larry! Larry! Larry!-Thank you so much, you guys.

I appreciate it. Thank you.Please. Please, enough.

Welcome to The Nightly Show.

-I am your host, Larry Wilmore.Man, I'm... -(man whoops)

I'm so excited-- yes.

But save some of that,

because Peaches ison the show tonight, man.

(cheering, applause)

So excited.So excited about her.

Um, okay, anyhow,so much to do tonight.

-A lot to do. Oh.-Larry, Larry, Larry!

Sorry, sorry to interrupt, butI have an announcement to make!

Oh, hey, it's Robin Thede,everybody.

-(cheering, applause)-Hi, Robin.

So, uh,so what's going on, Robin?

It's Harriet Tubman Day, Larry!

Oh, yeah, that's right.I forgot.

Um...

Happy Harriet Tubman Day, Robin.

And a happy Harriet Tubman Dayto you!

-All right. Okay. Yeah.-(cheering, applause)

You know...

this day is so exciting.

I mean, when she refused togive up her seat on that bus...

Uh, wait-wait-wait, uh..

uh...(chuckles)

-So good!-No, no, no, Robin,

that was, uh, Rosa Parks.

(chuckles):Oh. I know.

But you know who doesn't?

Most people.

And I went out to prove it.

I'm talking to peopleabout Harriet Tubman

at Manhattan'sunderground railroad.

Happy Harriet Tubman Day!

-Thank you.-Yay.

Tell me your favorite thingabout Harriet Tubman.

-Um...-Uh...

Um...

probably when she said,"Let my people go."

I think that was Moses.You didn't think that through.

What's your favorite thingabout Harriet Tubman?

I know she rockedsome mean Jheri curls.

And I know she helped...founded one of the railroads.

-You think it was Amtrak?-Um, I'm guessing so.

I think so.

Did you watch the Oscarsthis year?

-Just for Leo. Yeah.-Right. Because Harriet Tubman

wasn't even nominated.

Yeah, we gotto do something about that.

I think it was really rudethat they snubbed her

at the Oscars this year.What do you think?

Maybe it waswhat she was wearing.

She did so much in her life.Did you know she also went

-by the name Sojourner Truth?-Yes. Yes, I did.

What's the best way to celebrateHarriet Tubman's spirit?

Go to a fetish cluband free some slaves there

or something?I don't know.

You remember this,this is the most famous quote

that Harriet Tubman said--she was taking her last breath,

and then she said...?

"If you liked it, then youshould have put a ring on it."

Thank you. Thank you.

And that's why Harriet Tubman

should beon the ten dollar bill.

Because people don't know(bleep) about her.

Very nice.I see what you did there.

Good point. Robin Thede,everybody, Robin Thede!

All right. Okay, guys, June willmark the one-year anniversary

of the Supreme Court'slandmark decision

to legalize gay marriage.

-And June will also...-(two people whoop)

-Yes. Go for it, if you want.-(cheering, applause)

Very good.

But also...

June will also markthe four-month anniversary

of Justice Scalia's murder.

(horror movie music plays)

Incidentally, guys, lookat what the cops just dug up

in O.J.'s yard.

(laughter)

That's right, I'm sayingO.J. killed Justice Scalia.

-(whooping)-Okay? I'm on the record.

He just likes to kill.

-(laughter)-That's what he does.

I think they really diddig that pillow up somewhere.

Uh, so anyhow,the Supreme Court decision

that constitutionally guaranteesa right to same-sex marriage

is nearly nine months old,you guys.

So looks like somebodyjust got that first tooth

and, uh, thoughthey're not walking,

they're definitely cruising.

Mm-hmm.

Or are they?

NEWSWOMAN: The Republican-led Missouri Senate

just approved a proposal...

It passed this morning after Republicans broke

a more-than-30-hour filibuster led by Democrats.

All right,so since this is Missouri,

I naturally assumed the proposalmust be about changing

the state animalto anything besides a mule.

I mean... seriously,how is that your animal, guys?

But the proposalactually had to do

with Missouri'sother top priority:

oppressing gay people.

NEWSMAN: The proposal would forbid the state of Missouri

from imposing any penalties on businesses

that deny service to same-sex couples

on religious grounds.

So it's okay to deny serviceto two women getting hitched,

but you love it so much

when two animalsof a different species do it

that you made ityour state animal.

-(laughter, applause)-Okay.

Just wanted to be clearabout that.

That's what you like.All right.

(laughs): Now...if there's a state that knows

anything about depriving peopleof their liberties,

it's Missouri-- #Ferguson.

Now...

just take a lookat the wording of the bill.

It "prohibits the state from imposing a penalty

"on a religious organization who acts in accordance

with a sincere religious belief concerning same-sex marriage."

"Acts in accordance"?

What exactly does that mean?

I feel like the Show Me State

is hiding how theyreally feel about something.

I mean, this languageis so vague

that Hetero-Donuts can notonly refuse to bake donuts

for gay weddings,it also means Hetero-Donuts

can fire its gay baker.

Because he just got engagedto the gay baker

-at Homo-Donuts.-(laughter)

Why a gay baker went to work at Hetero-Donuts

in the first place is beyond me.

But the heart wantswhat it wants.

All right?Now, as a black man, guys,

I can tell you that these lawsthat purport to protect

a threatened majorityat the expense of a group

that has just won its freedomis nothing new.

There werea series of laws imposed

on newly freed blacksafter emancipation

now known as Jim Crow.

Not to be confusedwith a series of laws

that forced blacks to listento Peter Gabriel in the '80s

-called Cameron Crowe.-(laughter)

Thank you very much.

But now, in Missouri, we onceagain have the dominant culture

claiming that they're the onesbeing victimized.

And the man who introduced thisbill, State Senator Bob Onder,

said, "No one should becompelled to make a work

with their own hands that'soffensive to their beliefs."

Well, if no one's made thingswith their hands

that was offensiveto their beliefs,

Quiznos would cease to exist.

I'm just saying.

So these restrictions havepassed the Missouri senate

and will now go forwardto the house,

where they're alsoexpected to pass.

Now, since this Missouri billis supposedly

about religious freedom,I wanted to talk to an expert

on the issue, so please welcomeour lord and savior,

-Jesus Christ.-Larry! Larry!

What's up, Larry?

Hey, Jesus, how's it going?

Hey, man, I got to tell you,a black guy in late night--

-kudos to Comedy Central, man.-Oh. Thank you.

So cool, man.

I'm like, I mean, evenI couldn't make that happen.

That's amazing.Thank you, Jesus.

Now, okay, is there anyjustification for this bill

in Missouriattacking gay marriage

and making itabout religious freedom?

Oh, yes, Larry, please.

I mean, these Christiansare being persecuted

at the highest level.

I mean, they're beingrounded up,

forced into camps,fed to the lions.

I am just messing with you, man.Come on. (laughs)

I mean, honestly,Missouri is just

a state full of assholes.That's the whole thing.

Oh. Wow, I didn't, uh...

-Jesus, please, please...-Just how I feel.

I didn't, uh... I didn't expectthat kind of language from you.

Hey, uh, you know, I was aliveduring the Middle Ages.

You know, you pick up somethings. What are you gonna do?

I get it, I get it.So...

So you don't think peoplebeing forced to serve someone

whose valuesthey don't agree with

is a form of Christiansbeing persecuted?

Larry, seriously man,stop it, okay?

I mean, Christians in America

don't even persecutetheir priests

-for fondling little boys,all right? -Whoa.

Did you guys not see Spotlight? Hello?

I did.It was-it was a fantastic movie.

It really... it's greatto have Keaton back, isn't it?

-I mean, come on.-It was. I agree.

Even I was praying for that.That guy is fantastic.

Okay, Jesus, let's stayon point. Let's stay on point.

Okay, so you're saying this hasnothing to do with persecution?

-Nothing at all?-Larry, I feel like

if anyone knows anythingabout persecution,

it's, uh, this guy. Hello?

I was literally crucifiedfor my religious beliefs.

-Probably read about it in agiant book that... -That's true.

-Yeah. -Sold tons... Like,Harry Potter-level sales.

-Yeah.-Real popular.

I'm not sure if that's thecorrect analogy, but...

-I don't know.-So-so you think it's wrong

for a business to deny serviceto gay customers?

Uh, yeah.

But don't forget, man.

I was a businessman, okay?I was a carpenter.

I had a pretty sweet shop.I'm not gonna lie. I mean...

-Wow. -So, uh... And, you know,people are always focusing

on my Jesus thing, but I hada whole life before that.

Wait, on-on your Jesus thing?

Yeah, do... Larry, I onlyJesused for, like,

three years, dude.From 30 to 33.

It was a really small window ofJesusing, and part of it I died

and came back, so it's onlylike... it's really, like,

-two and a half years.-Okay.

-You know what I mean?-All right.

It's like...

Right. I get it.

I had to make plenty of thingswith my hands

for people I did not agree with.

-Really? I...-Oh, yeah, man.

One time-- this is a truestory-- once I carved end tables

for a Roman who I knewwould later try to stone me.

-Wow.-I mean, not cool.

That is not cool.You're absolutely right.

But you know what?But you made them anyway,

because you had love andcompassion for all, right?

Uh, I mean, you know,back in those days

it was all aboutgetting the paper.

-You know what I'm saying?I mean... -Oh.

You stack your money, you stackit till you need a ladder,

as my dawg 2 Chainz would say.(whoops)

♪ 2 Chainz, 2 Chainz.

All right, Jesus,one final question

about this Missouri bill.

Tell me-- what would Jesus do?

-Seriously?-Yeah.

You're gonna make me answerthat bracelet question, really?

-Uh...-I just thought, you know...

Well, Larry, uh,if you really want me

to answer your littledoughnut dilemma, why don't you

look at what's going on inAfrica. I got a lot on my plate

right now. I'm not really surewhy I'm doing basic cable,

-to be honest. Uh... -No, no,you're right, I'm sorry.

-You know what, I can't dealwith this... -You're right.

Don't even worry about it.Jesus Christ, everybody.

-We'll be right back.-♪ -(cheering, applause)

Welcome back.Now, the world of social media

moves pretty fast these days.Hashtags rise and fall,

Instagrams are deleted

and Snapchats disappearin an instant.

So to help us, uh, keep up,

we're starting a new segment

called Hash It Outwith Franchesca Ramsey.

Franchesca?

-♪ -(tweeting)

Thanks, Larry.

Well, it's March,and you know what that means:

it's Women's History Month.

And this past Tuesday wasalso International Women's Day.

Now, I know what you'rethinking: isn't that excessive?

Do women really needan extra special day

in their special women's month?

Maybe you're right, but,then again, women have periods,

carry babies, andmake significantly less money...

(cheering and applause)

...than men do. So we're keepingthe (bleep) day.

Sadly,no matter how many days we get,

women never seemto have it easy.

And that holds just as trueon Twitter.

The first big social mediafreak-out this week came

when reality TV starKim Kardashian tweeted out

a nude selfie with the caption,"When you're like,

I have nothing to wear. LOL."

Okay. Certainly nothingwe haven't seen before.

No big deal.

At least I thought it wasn'tuntil I checked Twitter.

Here are a handfulof the responses.

"You're a mother.""You're a (bleep) mother."

And, of course, my favorite,"That's not the way

you should carry yourselfas a mother and wife."

That's not how she shouldcarry herself as a wife?

She's married to Kanye West.

I mean, this is a dudewho has lyrics

about not wanting to getasshole bleach on his T-shirt.

He's not exactlyReginald VelJohnson.

Sorry, ever sincewe found out that other guy

was a serial rapist,Reginald's now the go-to TV dad.

Secondly, since when doesyour status as a parent

dictate whether or notpeople can see you naked?

A woman's sexual appealisn't like an orgy,

where, once a kid shows up,everything has to stop.

And Twitter's woman policingdidn't stop with Kim Kardashian.

This week, sportscaster ErinAndrews was awarded $55 million

in a civil lawsuit aftershe was secretly recorded naked

during a hotel stay.

A woman getting justice for agross violation of her privacy?

Sounds like awesome news to me!

(cheering and applause)

But, once again,

I had to ruin my good moodby reading tweets like these.

"Erin Andrews--awarded $55 million?

Can someone look throughmy hotel room peephole, please?"

-(booing) -"She looks goodin video. Nothing embarrassing.

Why is she bothered?$55 million. Why? Ridiculous."

"Anyone wanna film my dickthrough a peephole in a hotel

so I can make 55 million bucksreal quick?"

No. No one wants to film that.

Now, clearly, these people aregraduates of Twitter Law School,

where the motto is "Just becauseyou don't understand the law

doesn't mean you shouldn't havean opinion about it."

Erin Andrews was awardedthat money because her privacy

was invaded and then broadcastto seven mill...

17 million people online.

And now she's got to faceTwitter assholes who say

her security isn't worthmillions of dollars?

Is anyone else confused here?On the one hand,

Kim Kardashian's voluntarilyshared mom-bod is sacred

and needs protecting.And on the other hand,

Erin Andrews'"just chilling in my hotel,

minding my own business" bodis fine for public consumption.

There are more mixed signalshere than a Facebook status

about your dead grandmawith 100 likes.

Let me spell this out for you,okay?

Women are allowed to dowhatever the hell they want

with their bodies, andno one gets to decide otherwise!

(cheering and applause)

And no one has a right to yourbody, no matter who you are,

unless you give them permission.

And that applies in personand on-screen.

So happy Women's History Month,you sick, hypocritical perverts!

(cheering and applause)

Yeah!Franchesca Ramsey, everybody!

We'll be right back!Get 'em, Franchesca!

Get 'em!

Welcome back!I'm here with my panel.

First up, Nightly Show Contributor Holly Walker.

(cheering and applause)

And Nightly Show ContributorGrace Parra.

-(cheering and applause)-Oh, hi.

And her album Rub is out nowon I U She Music,

Canadian electronic musicianand performance artist, Peaches,

-you guys. Yeah.-(cheering and applause)

And for everyone at home,join our conversation right now

on Twitter, @NightlyShow,using the hashtag #Tonightly.

Okay, so we talked about thisearlier in the show.

Kim Kardashian posted, uh,this nude, uh, photo of herself

-on the Internetearlier this week. -Ooh. Ooh!

And, uh, it was ama...Of course, anything she does

-gets a lot of attention. Peoplebashed her... -Yeah. -Yes.

Some people bashed herfor setting feminism backwards,

while others bashed...while others applauded her

for being comfortable withher body enough to share it.

So my question is, this is 2016,why are we still getting upset

-about a woman's naked body?-I think people are upset

because it's human nature.Like, literally,

one of the first storiesin the Bible

is being upsetabout a woman's naked body.

-It's... Yeah, we haven't...-Right. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-It's true.-So... -Yeah.

But wh-where do you thinkall that... Why do you think

people are so upset?Is it, uh...

Do they think she can't bea role model? 'Cause people

were using that word,"role model," or something.

Yeah, to me, there's nothingmore role model-y

than being comfortable withyour titties. I mean, that's...

-Look, Peaches has it goin' on.-Yeah. There you go.

-Yeah. -That... And she-she haskids now. And I think it's...

I think it's great.What-what better lesson to teach

your children than, like,love the skin that you're in?

Well, you teach your... Now...

"Now, remember, honey, becomfortable with your titties.

-Have fun in kindergarten."-Well, uh,

those kids are really closeto those titties.

-The... Like, you know.-Exactly.

Do you think a lotof the slamming is just

'cause she's Kim Kardashian?Do you think

-that's what it was?-Oh, yeah.

'Cause didn't Bette Midlerkind of...

kind of threw some shadefirst, right?

-PARRA: Oh, my God, yeah.-WALKER: Yes. -Right.

PEACHES:Yeah. But, um, Sharon Osbourne

was in solidarityand tweeted a naked picture,

-which I thought was amazing...-PARRA: Yeah.

...especially because everything

that Sharon Osbournehas been through.

-WILMORE: Mm-hmm.-WALKER: Mm-hmm.

And, uh, also,she's not a young,

-you know, Kim Kardashianbody type. -WILMORE: Yes.

So, I thought that wasreally amazing, actually.

-PARRA: Yeah. -She had to livewith Ozzy for all those years.

-(laughter)-Let it rip now!

-WILMORE: That alone.-Yeah, and I think

you can be a naked womanand be a role model

because if Dame Helen Mirren wasshowing them titties, like...

PARRA:Oh, yeah.

...I would very much, like, tryto emulate her. -PEACHES: Yeah.

-PARRA: Yeah.-Yeah.

-(laughter) -Yeah.-You would try to emulate it?

-Yeah! -Yeah?-(applause)

I lovethat the dame is one you...

-The dame is the one you...-She is!

-She is a dame. -She's a dame.-Dame Helen Mirren.

So, Dame Helen Mirren,if you show them titties,

I will show my titties, too.

-(applause and cheering)-WILMORE: Wow!

-That sounds like a Nightly Show challenge! -PARRA: I love that.

-WILMORE: Oh, my God!-PEACHES: Get out of here.

What is her next movie?

PARRA:Somebody Google it quickly.

-We got to find out. -WILMORE:Who's she playing next?

(laughter)

What if she's playingthe Venus de Milo?

-Oh, that's it. -Yeah. -I know,well, but if Kim Kardashian

was Venus de Milo, thenwe wouldn't have a problem

with her taking selfies 'causeshe wouldn't have arms.

-WILMORE: Yeah. -Exactly, 'causeshe wouldn't have arms.

-That's fine. -WILMORE: Now,Peaches, you've been using...

-(laughter)-You've been using a sexuality

in your work, I mean,all the time.

-But how do you dealwith the haters? -Yeah.

-WILMORE: There's haters outthere for... -You...

WALKER: Yeah, let me know,'cause I'm about to go naked.

-So... -PEACHES: You steamrollthem. You just keep going.

-WILMORE: Uh-huh. -WALKER: Yeah.-And, you know,

If you don't have haters,then you don't...

-you're not doing anything,you know? -PARRA: Oh!

-True! -WILMORE: Oh, yeah.-(applause) -PEACHES: So...

So it's really complicatedfor women

because not onlydo we have to deal

with being objectified, but thendeal with being empowered,

and then dealwith being... calling a bitch

for being empoweredor whatever it is, and, um...

-WILMORE: Right. Mm-hmm.-PARRA: Yeah, Yeah.

-(applause and cheering)-PEACHES: But also...

But, also,recognize that actually, uh,

-men have never had to dealwith that. -WALKER: Mm-hmm.

-That objectification.-WILMORE: Right.

It just doesn't work that way.

-And men always, uh--speaking as a man... -(laughter)

-No, because men have the power.-PEACHES: Yeah.

They always dowhat they wanted to do,

and it's your jobto get over it.

But now women are doing whateverthe (bleep) they want,

and they say,"It's your job to get over it."

-PEACHES: Yeah. -PARRA: Right,right, right. Right, right.

-(applause and cheering) -It'snot my job to get over it.

-PARRA: Right. The work is stillon us. -Now it's your job.

-PEACHES: Yeah, yeah.-That's like when Beyoncé says,

it's your job to deal with"Formation," not my job.

-Right, right, right.-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Yeah, I mean, this... theMadonna-whore complex... -Yeah.

-...has been in play forever.-Mm-hmm.

The ideathat you are either a whore,

who's somebody who's, like,slutty, slutty, two by four,

-or you're Madonna.-Mm-hmm.

-(laughter) -I had to thinkabout that twice here.

Uh, or you're...

I really want to know whatyour childhood was like, Grace.

-I've never heard... I've neverheard that one. -I really do.

PEACHES:I've never heard that one.

Or you're... or you'rea Madonna, and you...

-you are, you know, like thisvirginal creature. -Yeah. -Mm.

So I thinkthat we got to get rid

of both of thoseand become whore-donnas...

-Uh-huh. -Whore-donna.-...and embrace both sides

-of this dichotomy. -PEACHES:Well, that's what it is.

-WALKER: Yeah.-We have to be whole. We...

You know, we have to acceptwomen as whole people, right?

WALKER:I think we need to get...

-PARRA: Yeah, exactly. Yeah.-(cheers and applause)

Yeah.

But I think that the concept

of whore itself is horrible

-because we don'tcall men whores... -PEACHES: No.

-...as much as we will calla woman a whore. -PARRA: Yeah.

-WILMORE: Mm-hmm. -If a womanhas a strong sexual desire

-and likes to have sex,that's okay. -PARRA: Right.

-Why does she haveto be a whore? -WILMORE: Mm-hmm.

-(applause and cheering)-Because Freud said so.

-Yeah, yeah, I agree. -Why dowe need to call her a whore?

-You know... -Holly, if a womanwants to show her titties

on The Nightly Show, why does she have to be a whore?

-WALKER: Exactly.-PARRA: Why is why

-three is for one.-Exactly. That's exactly right.

PEACHES:Wait. You know,

Justin Bieber also tweeteda naked photo of himself.

-WILMORE: Really? -PARRA: Yeah.-And this didn't happened.

You know? But also...

WALKER: Because nobody wantsto see Justin Bieber naked.

-(laughter) -They do.-WALKER: Nobody.

But, uh, also,what's with nipples?

-Why are male nipples allowedto be seen? -PARRA: Yeah.

And why are women's nipples,such a, you know, coveted...?

-Yeah.-I love...

-Yeah, I know.It's a good point. -Me, too.

And I love that you have nippleson your T-shirt, and I love...

-Why are you saying this?-And I love

that one of them is biggerthan the other one,

-because that's how it is!-That's always literally...

-WALKER: That's how it is.-That's how it is.

PARRA: I mean, and we don't talkabout it. -WILMORE: How it is.

WALKER: That's how it is, andyou will find out, Helen Mirren.

As soon as you go naked,you'll find out

that one of these is biggerthan the other one.

WILMORE:All right, nuff said.

-We'll be right back.-(cheers and applause)

Like, one is actually biggerthan the other one?

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