• Season 2, Ep 15
  • 07/18/2016

Steve shrinks down and enters Roy's body, a children's educational show displays its dark side, and Gary continues to suck it.

[cheerful music]

- ♪ I know a town

♪ Where letters dwell

♪ Come to Alphabet City and learn to spell ♪

♪ Alphabet City, yeah

- Today's episode, the letter...

children: M!

- Hello, you wanted tosee me, Mayor?

children: Mayor!

- [laughs]

I sure did.

I got a very important jobfor you.

- Hooray!

What kind of job?

- Ha![glass shatters]

Cut the bullshit.

You know exactlywhat kind of job it is.

- Who's the target?

- Her name is G.

Now, I need her taken care of,professionally.

No mistakes.

children: Mistakes!

- Well, then,you're in luck,

'cause I don't make 'em.

My clients are neverdisappointed.

- If you can,make it quick.

- I'll do anything you want,

as long as you gotthe money.

children: Money!

- Once I leave this office,that's it.

There's no turning back.

You sure that'swhat you want?

- Politics isa dirty business.

Sometimes, you have totie up loose ends,

especially when those loose endsare threatening to...


Go public with photosof your member.

children: Member!

- Sounds like we'd betterget right on it.

G sends her regards.

- What the hell you thinkyou're doing, son?

- Like I said...

[gun cocks back]

My clients arenever disappointed.

- Jiminetty!



- Nothing personal, old man.

- Mother[bleep].

children: Mother[bleep]!

- ♪ Alphabet City, yeah

- Oh, my God.

What the [bleep] happened here?

- Pete.

- Wha?Steve?

- Dude, thanks for coming.

I'm in a real bad placeright now, man.

I could sure use a friend.

- What did you do, Steve?

You told me on the phoneyou just had a dead battery

and you wanted me to give youa ride home.

- That was just codein case someone was listening.

You know, dead battery,dead hooker.

Dude, everyone knows that.

- Everyone knows that?

Oh, my God!

She's dead!

Steve, I can't be here.

I-I told my wifeI'd be right back.

- Whoa!Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Pete, just hold on a minute.

Now, you asked mesix months ago

if I ever woke up next toa dead hooker,

who would I call?

- It was a god damnhypothetical.

It was bar banter,

the verbal equivalentof darts.

It passes the time!

But, okay, okay,I guess I can help her,

I don't know, get dressedor something.

Oh, my God!What's that?

Oh! Oh!

I didn't expect--

- That's a biker with a machetein his [bleep] head?

Drooling blood.

What the [bleep], Steve?

Who is that?

- Long story.

But the dead hooker, Starla,

that's her boyfriend, Diablo.

They were trying to rob me,Petey.

That asshole came in here,

waving a gun around

as I was jamming Starla from behind.

You should have seen me, man.

You know how I do.

I had to chop his arm off with the machete.

It was self-defense.

- But where did you get a--holy shit!

- Oh, I can explain that.

That's Starla's pimp, Mr. Fu.

He walks in here all willy-nilly,

"[bleep] you, bitch!

Give me my money."

And he slaps her, bro.

And you know me, man.

You know me, Pete.

I will not stand forhitting a woman.

- That--that's why youshot a man?

- Well, yeah.

Took the gun from the biker.

Self-defense, man.

- Okay, yeah, self-defense.

This is crazy.This is crazy.

This is crazy, Steve.

You killed a lot of people.

Accident, self-defense,you can--this is really bad.

- Dude, I know.

I'm in over my head,

but I'm the good guy.

It's all just a weirdseries of events.

But the copswill never buy it.

You got to help outyour best pal, Petey.

- [groaning]

- Mr. Fu,wash your clothes, man.


All right.

[both groaning]

- [whistles]


[both sigh]

That's a load off my mind.

Hey, man, you never told mehow that hooker died.

Oh, I strangled her.

Come on,let's get some tacos.