April 7, 2015 - Welfare Restrictions & Fast-Food Wages

  • 04/07/2015

Ricky Velez, Dorian Warren and Yvette Nicole Brown sit down with Larry to discuss harsh restrictions on food stamp spending and the exploitation of fast-food workers.

>> Larry: TONIGHTLY,

McDONALD'S HIKES WAGES BUT FORONLY A TENTH OF ITS WORKERS.

IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME THEY'VEEXPLOITED PEOPLE OF COLOR.

NEW BILLS IN KANSAS AND MISSOURITELL POOR PEOPLE WHAT THEY CAN

BUY WITH FOOD STAMPS, AND POORPEOPLE TELL MISSOURI AND KANSAS

WHAT THEY CAN DO WITH THEIRSTUPID BILLS.

ARE THE POOR ENTITLED TO THESAME DIGNITY AS THE REST OF US?

WELL, I'M HOSTING THIS SHOW INSPANDEX ON THURSDAY.

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING I'MTHE WRONG GUY TO ASK ABOUT

DIGNITY.

I SAID THURSDAY, NOT TODAY.

IT'S TWO DAYS UNTIL PAYDAY,SO SKIP YOUR NEXT MEAL

AND DODGE YOUR LANDLORD, COMEWATCH "THE NIGHTLY SHOW," AND

LET'S DO THIS.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> Larry: WOOOO!

YES!

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )THANK YOU VERY MUCH, WELCOME TO

"THE NIGHTLY SHOW."

I'M LARRY WILMORE.

BEFORE WE GET STARTED, OFCOURSE, A BIG SHOUTOUT TO THE

DUKE BLUE DEVILS WHO WON THEN.C.A.A. BASKETBALL TOURNAMENT

LAST NIGHT.

( CHEERS )I KNOW.

I KNOW.

HEY, GUYS.

BY THE WAY, IN RESPONSE TO THEBIG WIN, POLICE CARS WERE

OVERTURNED.

THERE WAS RIOTING AND GIANTGARBAGE FIRES WERE SET, AND THAT

WAS JUST BY ME.

( LAUGHTER )BECAUSE THE DUKE WIN MEANS I

WILL HOST A SHOW DRESSED FROMHEAD TO TOE IN SPANDEX.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )"DARE-Y WILMORE'S MARCH BADNESS

BRACKETSBALL DARE-O-MANIA 2015:IT'S BONER TIME!"

CHALLENGE IS OVER, AND I WILLSERVE MY PUNISHMENT THIS

THURSDAY.

I'M DOING IT.

SO TUNE IN.

AND BECAUSE OF THE NATURE OFSPANDEX, LET'S JUST HOPE THAT IT

REALLY ISN'T BONER TIME.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )JUST FOR ALL OF OUR SAKES,

RIGHT.

AND BY THE WAY,I SHOULD ALSO TAKE A MOMENT TO

ACKNOWLEDGE STANFORD UNIVERSITYWHO WON THE N.I.T. MEN'S

BASKETBALL TOURNAMENT, WHICHMEANS THAT I WILL ALSO HAVE TO

HOST THE SHOW COMPLETELY NOTGIVING A (BLEEP) ABOUT THE

N.I.T. TOURNAMENT.

( APPLAUSE )OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT-- WHO GETS

TO TELL PEOPLE ON WELFARE HOW TOSPEND THEIR MONEY?

SEVERAL STATES HAVE PROPOSEDLEGISLATION THAT WOULD

DRAMATICALLY RESTRICT HOW PEOPLEON GOVERNMENT ASSISTANCE GET TO

USE THEIR FUNDS.

WE BEGIN IN KANSAS.

>> A PROPOSAL IN KANSAS WOULDBAN PEOPLE FROM USING THEIR FOOD

STAMPS ON POOLS AND CRUISES ANDAT LIQUOR STORES.

( LAUGHTER )>> Larry: POOLS AND CRUISES?

IS THIS REALLY A PROBLEM,KANSAS?

I MEAN, MANY OF THE POOR ALREADYLIVE IN SQUALID CONDITIONS.

HOW COULD A CARNIVAL CRUISE BEANY DIFFERENT?

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )I MEAN, THEY'RE THE SPIRIT

AIRLINES OF THE SEA WHEN YOU GETDOWN TO IT, RIGHT?

( LAUGHTER )BAM!

GOT THEM BOTH.

BUT IT ALSO BANS SPENDING ATMOVIE THEATERS, NAIL SALONS,

JEWELRY STORES, CASINOS, ANDTATTOO PARLOS.

WHICH REALLY SUCKS BECAUSE YOUNEED A TATTOO JUST TO REMEMBER

ALL THE PLACES YOU CAN'T GO.

( LAUGHTER )ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL

RIGHT, FINE.

SOME OF THAT-- SOME OF THAT IGET.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

WELFARE COMES ON CASH ASSISTANCECARDS NOW, YOU KNOW, WHICH IS

BASICALLY LIKE AN A.T.M. CARD.

DOES THAT MEAN YOU TAKE OUT YOURMONEY AND SPEND IT ON WHATEVS?

>> IT ALSO SETS A $25 A DAYLIMIT ON A.T.M. WITHDRAWALS WITH

CASH ASSISTANCE CARDS.

>> Larry: $25.

I THINK FINDING AN A.T.M. THATSPITS OUT $5 BILLS IS EVEN

HARDER THAN FINDING A JOB,RIGHT?

( APPLAUSE )I MEAN, IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

YOU KNOW, THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

I'M SORRY, I HAVE TO TALK TOKANSAS DIRECTLY FOR A SECOND IN

MY NEW SEGMENT CALLED, "THATSTATE IS CRAY."

♪ THAT STAY IS CRAY ♪( APPLAUSE )

>> Larry: KANSAS, YOU CRAY.

DID YOU KNOW THAT WHILE YOU'RELIMITING HOW POOR PEOPLE SPEND

THEIR MONEY, YOU'RE $30 BILLIONIN DEBT, ALL RIGHT.

THAT YOU'RE SO LOW ON FUNDSYOU'RE CLOSING SCHOOLS EARLY.

HEY KANSAS-- IF POOR PEOPLECAN'T TELL YOU TO STOP WASTING

THEIR TAXPAYER MONEY, WHY DON'TYOU STOP TELLING THEM HOW TO

SPEND THEIRS. AND BY THEIRS IMEAN THE MONEY YOU GAVE THEM

AND I REALIZE THAT RUINS MYSTATEMENT

MAN, THAT STATE IS CRAY.

♪ THAT STATE IS CRAY ♪( APPLAUSE )

BY THE WAY, KANSAS ISN'T THEONLY STATE ON MY CRAY LIST, ALL

RIGHT.

ALSO CRAY, MISSOURI.

THE SHOW-ME STATE.

SHOW ME WHAT YOU THINK POORPEOPLE SHOULD EAT.

>> A MISSOURI LAWMAKER PUSHINGA PROPOSAL TO KEEP PEOPLE ON

WELFARE FROM BUYING CERTAINFOODS.

>> THAT'S RIGHT, THE BANINCLUDES STEAK AND LOBSTER.

>> THE BILL WOULD STOP PEOPLEFROM BUYING COOKIES, CHIPS, SOFT

DRINKS, ENERGY DRINKS, SEAFOODAND STEAK.

>> Larry: WHAT!

( LAUGHTER )NO SURF OR TURF?

YOU MONSTERS!

WHAT ABOUT OTHER EXOTIC MEATS.

HOW ABOUT TIGER?

YOU KNOW POOR PEOPLE WOULD LOVETO EAT TIGER, MAN.

YOU GOING TO BAN THAT, TOO?

MONSTERS.

LET'S SEE IF WE CAN GET SOMEANSWERS FROM MISSOURI STATE

REPRESENTATIVE RICK BRATTIN, THEGENIUS BEHIND THIS IDEA.

>> THERE IS SO MUCH MONEY BEINGALLOCATED INTO THESE PROGRAMS

AND IF WE REMOVE THE LUSTER, IREALLY THINK THAT IT WILL HAVE A

DRAW-BACK EFFECT.

>> Larry: A "DRAW-BACKEFFECT?"

LIKE HOW YOUR HUNGRY FAMILY'SSTOMACHS DRAW BACK FROM THIS TO

THIS?

IN ALL FAIRNESS, THAT BABY WASKIND OF CHUBS.

( LAUGHTER )CLEARLY HE WAS EATING TOO MUCH

TIGER MEAT.

I'M JUST SAYING.

SERIOUSLY, ALL THIS BEGS THEQUESTION, HOW CAN THE GOVERNMENT

WASTE ALL THIS MONEY BUT DEMANDTHAT POOR PEOPLE ACCOUNT FOR

THEIR EVERY PURCHASE?

IT DOESN'T EVEN-->> I CAN EXPLAIN!

LARRY, I'M GONNA EXPLAIN.

( LAUGHTER ).

>> Larry: I'M SORRY, WHO AREYOU?

IT'S ME, QUEEN OF THEWELFAIRIES.

A WELFARE QUEEN, IF YOU WILL.

>> Larry: A WELFARE-- AWELFAIRY QUEEN, REALLY?

>> UH-HUH.

LOOK AT THE GIRL. I'M BLINGEDOUT!

PLATINUM THIS, DIAMOND THAT,TAKIN A CRUISE EVERY DAY!

( LAUGHTER )DAY CRUISE, BOOZE CRUISE.

>> Larry: WHERE DID YOU COMEFROM?

>> FROM THE MIND OF LAWMAKERS.

THEY THINK EVERYBODY ON WELFARELOOKS AND TALKS LIKE THIS.

>> Larry: WAIT, SO YOU DON'TREALLY SOUND LIKE THIS?

>> WELL, IF I WERE TO KEEP IT100-- THIS IS MY REAL VOICE.

( LAUGHTER )SO, WELFAIRY, HOW DO YOU

FEEL ABOUT-- THAT'S HER NAME.

( LAUGHTER )HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THESE

RESTRICTIONS?

>> THEY'RE A LOAD OF RAINBOWCRAP.

IT'S GOTTEN SO BAD, IN KANSASTHEY DRUG TEST YOU BEFORE YOU

CAN GET YOUR BENEFITS.

>> Larry: DRUG TESTS?

THAT DOES SEEM LIKE A NUISANCE.

IN ALL FAIRNESS THEY'RE PROBABLYMAKING SURE DRUG ADDICTS DON'T

GET FREE MONEY.

>> EXCEPT IS COSTS $40 GRAND TOGET THE TEST, AND ONLY 11 PEOPLE

TESTED POSITIVE OUT OF 2700.

DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TATTOOS ICOULD HAVE GOTTEN ON THIS WITH

ALL THAT MONEY?

>> Larry: I DIDN'T REALIZE WESHARED SO MANY COMMON INTERESTS.

SO YOU DISPELLED THE MYTHABOUT WASTING MONEY ON

PEOPLE ON DRUGS. BUT WHAT ABOUTALL THE PEOPLE ON WELFARE WHO

ARE GAMING THE SYSTEM? IS THATFAIR?

>> LARRY, WITH $25 A DAY, THEONLY GAME WE'RE PLAYING IS HOW

TO MAKE THIS MUCH FOOD FEED THISMUCH PEOPLE.

( APPLAUSE ).

>> Larry: BUT, YEAH... TRUE,TRUE.

BUT BUT, IN ALL FAIRNESS, YOU'REA FAIRY, RIGHT?

>> I'M A WELFAIRY.

( LAUGHTER )I'M NOT JESUS!

( LAUGHTER )BUT EVEN IF I WERE, WE'RE NOT

ALLOWED TO BUY FISH.

SO THERE'S REALLY NOT MUCH TOMULTIPLY.

>> Larry: I GOT IT.

THAT WOULDN'T QUITE WORK.

SO WHAT'S THE TRICK HERE THEN.

>> WELL, LARRY, ONE OF THETHINGS THAT'S NOT ON THE BANNED

LIST ARE GUNS.

>> Larry: WAIT!

HOLD ON A SECOND!

THAT CANNOT BE TRUE.

WAIT, GUNS?

YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO BUYSEAFOOD, BUT YOU CAN BUY GUNS?

>> YES!

AND WITH GUNS, YOU CANTECHNICALLY GET ALL THE SEAFOOD

YOU WANT.

>> Larry: WELFAIRY, NO, HOLD ON,HOLD ON.

WELFAIRY, NO, NO, NO, GUYS,WELFAIRY YOU'RE NOT SUGGESTING

THAT TO OUR AUDIENCE.

>> GOTTA GO, GOTTA GO.

>> Larry: WAIT, WELFAIRY.

>> OUT OF HERE.

>> Larry: WHY IS WELFAIRY NOTGOING?

>> Larry: WAITE, DON'T LEAVE,WELFAIRY.

DON'T!

NO, WELFAIRY.

COME BACK!

I DIDN'T MAKE A WISH!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Larry: WELCOME BACK.

ALL RIGHT.

SO HERE'S THE QUESTION-- DO WEPAY OUR FAST FOOD WORKERS

ENOUGH?

IF YOU ANSWERED YES, PLEASEPAUSE, TAKE A MOMENT TO THINK

ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID, AND THENPUNCH YOURSELF IN THE DICK.

( LAUGHTER )AFTER MOUNTING PRESSURE FROM

EMPLOYEES OVER THE LAST YEAR TOEARN SOMETHING LOOSELY

RESEMBLING A LIVING WAGE,McDONALD'S HAS FINALLY

RESPONDED.

>> ON JULY 1 IT WILL PAY U.S.

WORKERS AT COMPANY-OWNEDRESTAURANTS AT LEAST

$1 AN HOUR MORE THAN THE LOCALMINIMUM WAGE.

>> Larry: OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

YOU'RE GIVING THEM A RAISE.

IT'S ONLY $1 BUT WHAT DO YOUEXPECT WHEN A CLOWN IS RUNNING

THE COMPANY.

BUT ACTUALLY, THIS IS A BIGDEAL.

WHEN YOU THINK OF HOW MANYMcDONALD'S THERE ARE ACROSS

THE COUNTRY, THIS IS GOING TOIMPACT A LOT OF PEOPLE.

OKAY.

I'M LOVIN' THAT.

>> THAT'S FOR THE COMPANYSTORES, WHICH IS ABOUT 10% OF

U.S. McDONALD'S.

THE OTHER 90% ARE RUN BYFRANCHISES.

>> Audience: OOOOOH!

>> Larry: OK SO I'M NOTLOVIN' THIS.

SO 90% OF PEOPLE WORKING ATMcDONALD'S WILL NOT BE GETTING

A RAISE.

WHAT WILL THEY BE GETTING THEN?

LET'S OPEN UP A HAPPY MEAL ANDFIND OUT.

OH, HERE'S WHAT THEY'RE GOING TOGET.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

I'M LOVIN' IT!

COME ON, McDONALD'S.

THAT IS NOT NICE.

SO THE QUESTION IS WHY GIVE ARAISE TO SOME OF YOUR WORKERS

NOW?

ARE YOU JUST FEELING GENEROUS?

>> FAST FOOD WORKERS FROMSEVERAL CHAINS HAVE RALLIED

DEMANDING A MINIMUM WAGE OF $15AN HOUR.

ORGANIZERS ARE CALLING FOR ANATIONWIDE STRIKE IN 200 CITIES

ON APRIL 15.

>> Larry: A STRIKE?

WAIT, I CAN'T EAT A McRIB ONTAX DAY?

THAT'S A TRADITION I AM NOTWILLING TO BREAK, McDONALD'S.

OKAY.

I SEE WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.

OKAY.

YOU'RE TRYING TO GIVE THEM ALITTLE NOW SO THEY WOULDN'T GO

ON STRIKE.

BUT THEY'RE GOING ON A STRIKEANYWAY.

NICELY DONE, FAST FOODIES.

NICELY DONE.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )OKAY.

I GET IT.

VERY NICE.

YOU BE WHAT?

THAT BEING THE CASE, I THOUGHTIT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO HAVE

A POWERFUL POLITICIAN ON THESHOW TO DISCUSS THIS TOPIC.

HOWEVER, BECAUSE A POTENTIALSTRIKE COULD BE ABSOLUTELY

DEVASTATING TO HIS COMMUNITY,HE'S AGREED TO APPEAR ON THE

SHOW HERE TONIGHT ONLY IF WEWILL OBSCURE HIS IDENTITY.

PLEASE WELCOME MAYOR "X."

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> SORRY, LARRY, I WAS IN A

MEETING.

THANKS FOR HAVING ME, AND, ALSO,THANKS FOR ENSURING THAT NO ONE

WILL EVER FIGURE OUT OUT WHO IAM.

>> Larry: ALL RIGHT, NOT APROBLEM.

SURE THING.

MR. MAYOR IS THIS WHOLE RAISETHING A CYNICAL PLOY BY

McDONALD'S TO STOP A STRIKE?

>> WHY ARE YOU ASKING MESPECIFICALLY ABOUT McDONALD'S.

I CAN ANSWER QUESTIONS ABOUT ANYFAST FOOD CHAIN.

TAKE BURGER KING, FOR EXAMPLE.

PERSONALLY, I WOULDN'T EAT ATBURGER KING BECAUSE I AM AN

AMERICAN. I DON'T BELIEVE IN AMONARCY, I AM AN ELECTED OFFICAL

SURE, I'VE BEEN ELECTED 45 TIMESIN A ROW WITH NO OPPOSITION BUT

WHAT I'M SAYING IS, WHAT I'MSAYING IS IT DOESN'T ALWAYS HAVE

TO BE ABOUT McDONALD'S, WHICHIS A TERRIFIC FAMILY EXPERIENCE,

BY THE WAY.

>> Larry: OKAY.

I GOT IT.

THAT MAY BE TRUE, MR. MAYOR, BUTIT STILL DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT

THAT FAST FOOD WORKERS CAN'TEARN A DECENT WAGE AT

McDONALD'S.

DON'T YOU THINK THIS IS APROBLEM?

>> IT'S NOT AT THE TOP OF MYLIST TO BE HONEST WITH YOU,

LARPY.

FOR MY CONSTITUENTS, CRIME IS ABIGGER CONCERN.

( LAUGHTER )>> Larry: CRIME?

>> YES, LARRY.

WHERE I LIVE, WE HAVE A DEVIANTWHO GOES AROUND STEALING

CHEESEBURGERS.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

IF I WERE TO OFF THE CUFF INVENTA WORD FOR WHAT HE DOES, I WOULD

SAY HE COMMITS A LOT OFHAMBURGLARIES, LARRY.

( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS )

EXPWHR.

.SOMEHOW I FEEL LIKE THAT WASN'TSO OFF THE CUFF.

>> I MADE IT UP, LARRY.

I'M ON AN IMPROV TEAM.

>> Larry: FINE, WHATEVER.

YOU'RE A POLITICIAN, DO YOUTHINK THE GOVERNMENT HAS THE

RIGHT TO TELL POOR PEOPLE WHATTHEY SHOULD AND SHOULDN'T EAT?

>> NO, I THINK THE ONLY THINGTHE GOVERNMENT SHOULD DO IS TELL

POOR PEOPLE WHERE TO EAT, OKAY.

LIKE, WHAT'S THAT DELICIOUSFAMILY-STYLE HAMBURGER CHAIN?

YOU KNOW THE ONE WITH THE GOLDEN"M."

>> Larry: McDONALD'S!

>> YES, THAT PLACE ISINCREDIBLE, LARRY.

AS AN OUTSIDE OBSERVER, LET MESAY EVERYTHING THEY DO IS

AWESOME.

>> Larry: IT MAKES YOU LAUGH,TOO, DOESN'T IT?

CAN'T WE STAY ON TOPIC.

SO YOU THINK IT'S NOTGOVERNMENT'S JOB AT ALL TO HELP

PEOPLE GET OUT OF POVERTY?

>> LARRY, YOU HAVE TO WALK AFINE LINE, RIGHT, WHERE YOU PAY

PEOPLE ENOUGH MONEY TO STAYALIVE, BUT NOT PAY THEM ENOUGH

WHERE THEY CAN AFFORD TO GO OUTTO SOME CRAZY PLACE, LIKE A

RUBY TUESDAY'S OR A DENNY'S.

( LAUGHTER )>> Larry: I GET IT.

I KNOW, THEY SHOULD EAT AT AMcDONALD'S.

>> YOUR WORDS, NOT MINE, LARRY.

>> Larry: MAYOR McX, EVERYONE,WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> Larry: OKAY, WELCOME BACK.

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT WELFARE ANDMINIMUM WAGE AND TELLING POOR

PEOPLE HOW TO LIVE THEIR LIVES.

JOINING ME ON THE PANEL TONIGHT:OUR VERY OWN "NIGHTLY SHOW"

CONTRIBUTOR AND VERY FUNNYCOMEDIAN, RICKY VELEZ.

HOST OF "NERDING OUT" ON MSNBC'SDIGITAL CHANNEL SHIFT AND

ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR AT COLUMBIAUNIVERSITY, DORIAN WARREN.

AND YOU CAN SEE HER IN "THE ODDCOUPLE" ON CBS AND THE ANIMATED

FILM "YELLOWBIRD," ACTRESSYVETTE NICOLE BROWN.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )SO SEVERAL STATES ARE

NOW INTRODUCING NEW LAWS THATRESTRICT WHAT PEOPLE CAN SPEND

THEIR FOOD STAMPS AND WELFAREMONEY ON FOOD.

OKAY, I JUST WANT TO ASKEVERYBODY, DO YOU GUYS THINK WE

CAN TELL PEOPLE ON WELFARE HOWTO SPEND THEIR MONEY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

>> I MEAN, IT'S WHAT THEGOVERNMENT DOES.

IT IS.

THEY TELL YOU HOW TO SPEND-- IWANT TO BUY A MONKEY, BUT IN NEW

YORK I'M NOT ALLOWED TO BUY AMONKEY.

I HAVE MONKEY MONEY.

LET ME BUY A MONKEY.

>> Larry: YOU CAN'T BUY AMONKEY.

>> NO.

>> Larry: YOU REALLY COULDN'TBUY IT ON GOVERNMENT ASSISTANCE.

>> I'M KIND OF ON THE FENCE.

I HAVE LENT MONEY TO PEOPLE.

>> Larry: OH, NO.

>> AND HAVE FOUND THEM WITH NEWPURSES AND FRESH NAILS, SO I

KIND OF FEEL LIKE SOMETIMES WHENYOU REQUEST SOME HELP, YOU MIGHT

NEED TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU USEIT FOR NECESSITIES AND NOT

LUXURIES.

BUT AT THE SAME TIME, WHEN IHEARD THAT YOU CAN'T GET

STEAK, SOMETIMES STEAK MAKE ITALL RIGHT.

SOMETIMES YOU -->> A LITTLE STEAK MAKES IT ALL

GOOD.

>> I FEEL LIKE THERE SHOULD BESOME MODERATION.

YOU HAVE TO DO NECESSITIESMOSTLY BUT TAKING AWAY ALL

THE LUXURIES WHEN YOU'RE ALREADYSUFFERING AND STRUGGLING IS NOT

FAIR.

>> Larry: I THINK THAT'S AGOOD POINT.

>> THIS IS SUCH AN IMPORTANTPOINT BECAUSE THERE HAVE BEEN NO

EXAMPLES THAT ANY LAWMAKER CANPOINT TO OF ABUSES,

EXCEPT FOR ONE RANDOM GUY WHOWENT ON FOX TWO YEARS AGO TO SAY

HE BOUGHT WHAT, LOBSTER ANDSUSHI?

>> RIGHT.

>> AND THAT WASN'T VERIFIED.

THIS IS A SOLUTION IN SEARCH OFA PROBLEM.

IN FACT, THREE OUT OF FOURPEOPLE ELIGIBLE FOR WELFARE

DON'T EVEN USE THE BENEFITS.

IT'S ACTUALLY COME DOWN FROMTHREE OUT OF FOUR IN THE 90s

WHO DID USE IT, WHO WEREELIGIBLE.

AND NOW THREE OUT OF FOUR DON'TEVEN USE IT.

>> Larry: WHAT DO YOU MEANDON'T USE THE BENEFITS?

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

>> IF YOU'RE-- THEY DON'T EVENSIGN UP TO GET THE MONEY.

>> Larry: REALLY?

>> REALLY.

IT'S A LOT OF PAPERWORK.

( LAUGHTER )I THINK IT'S ONLY A LUXURY IF

YOU CAN'T SPELL IT.

IT.

>> Larry: IF YOU CAN'T SPELL"LUXURY?"

>> THAT'S WHY I DRINK GIN, ANDNOT ZINFANDEL.

( APPLAUSE ).

>> Larry: WHAT DO YOU THINK OFPURPOSE OF WELFARE SHOULD BE?

SHOULD IT BE TEMPORARY OR SHOULDIT BE-- SHOULD WE BE OKAY WITH

IT BEING PERMANENT?

>> I ACTUALLY WOULDN'T HAVE APROBLEM WITH IT BEING PERMANENT,

YOU KNOW, BECAUSE I THINK THATTHERE ARE CERTAIN

CIRCUMSTANCES-- WE ALL WOULDLOVE TO PULL OURSELVES UP BY OUR

BOOTSTRAPS BUT IF THERE ARECIRCUMSTANCES AGAINST YOU

ALREADY IN SOCIETY, MAYBE SEXUALABUSE, MAYBE DRUG USE IN YOUR

FAMILY THAT YOU CAN'T GETBEYOND, I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD

BE ALLOWED TO HAVE SOMETHINGTHAT HELPS YOU.

THE THING IS WE'RE NOT A POORSOCIETY.

THAT'S THING.

HOW MANY HOUSES DO YOU NEED?

HOW MANY CARS DO YOU NEED?

HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU NEED?

IF WE ALL CAME TOGETHER ANDHELPED EACH OTHER, WE ALL WOULD

BE BETTER.

WE HAVE MONEY FOR WAR.

WE FIND MONEY FOR WAR.

WE CAN'T FIND MONEY TO FEEDPEOPLE.

>> Larry: I THINK A LOT OFPEOPLE ARE OUT OF TOUCH WITH HOW

MUCH THINGS EVEN COST.

HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO.

WE'RE GOING TO PLAY A LITTLEGAME. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TOUGH

IT IS TO BE ON WELFARE.

MOST PEOPLE DON'T KNOW HOW MUCHGROCERIES COST SO LET'S PLAY A

COMPLETELY ORIGINAL GAME.

IT'S CALLED "THE COST ISCORRECT."

OKAY.

IT'S NEVER BEEN DONE ON TVBEFORE.

( LAUGHTER )OKAY.

WE JUST MADE THIS UP.

ALL RIGHT.

WE JUST MADE THIS GAME UP.

TOTALLY ORIGINAL.

>> NEVER SEEN THIS.

>> Larry: I'M GOING TO SHOWALL YOU GUYS A PICTURE OF A

GROCERY ITEM AND YOU TELL ME HOWMUCH YOU THINK IT COSTS AND THE

ONE WHO GETS CLOSEST WITHOUTGOING OVER WINS.

AGAIN, COMPLETELY ORIGINALRULES.

GALLON OF MILK?

>> $3.80.

>> Larry: $3.80?

>> $2.50.

>> $2.13.

>> Larry: $4.79.

THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.

SO IT'S NOT EASY.

TWO POUNDS OF GROUND BEEF?

>> CAPITOL HILL 6.38.

>> $7.

>> $1, LARRY.

>> Larry: $1?

YOU CAN'T GO-->> $11.98.

>> Larry: THAT IS EXPENSIVE--YOU'RE THE CLOSEST.

>> IS THAT ORGANIC, THOUGH?

>> NO.

>> Larry: LAST ONE, A CRUISE.

HOW MUCH?

HOW MUCH?

HOW MUCH.

>> $599.

>> $700.

>> $800.

>> Larry: THE COST IS YOURDIGNITY.

( APPLAUSE )>> YVETTE!

SHE GETS A PICTURE OF THIS GUY.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THIS GUY ISBUT HE SEEMS LIKE A NICE GUY.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORERIGHT AFTER THIS.

( APPLAUSE )( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Larry: OKAY, THAT'S ALL THETIME WE HAVE FOR TONIGHT.

I WANT TO THANK OUR PANELISTS,DORIAN WARREN, RICKY VELEZ, AND

YVETTE NICOLE BROWN.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )AND FINALLY TONIGHT, WE'VE COME

TO THE END OF OUR "DARE-YWILMORE'S MARCH BADNESS

BRACKETSBALL DARE-O-MANIA IT'SBONER TIME TOURNAMENT."

CONGRATS TO THE DUKE BLUEDEVILS ON THEIR BIG WIN LAST

NIGHT.

I'M A MAN OF MY WORD, SO ONON THURSDAY I WILL HOST THE SHOW

IN SPANDEX.

BUT I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT, ANDI'D FEEL A LOT BETTER IF I KNEW

I HAD SOME SPANDEXSOLIDARITY OUT THERE.

PLEASE TAKE A PICTURE OFYOURSELF WEARING SPANDEX AND

TWEET IT TO US WITH THEHASHTAG "SPANDEX SOLIDARITY."

AND ON THURSDAY'S SHOW, I'LLSHOW THE BEST PHOTOS.

IT'S ONLY SO I DON'T FEEL SOALONE OUT HERE IN MY SPANDEX.

WE'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

AND DON'T FORGET TO HAVE YOURPET SPADE OR NEUTERED.

GOODNIGHTLY, EVERYONE.

GOODNIGHTLY, EVERYONE.

Captioning sponsored by COMEDY CENTRAL

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH

access.wgbh.org

McDONALD'S HIKES WAGES BUT FORONLY A TENTH OF ITS WORKERS.

SO HERE'S THE QUESTION-- DO WEPAY OUR FAST FOOD WORKERS