In this episode, the media jumps all over the Iraq Study Group's findings, leaving Americans dangerously uninformed about the real threat: scallions. And I'll name my Alpha Dog of the Week. I'm not gonna say who it is, but I'll tell you this, he is a very good boy -- yes he is, he's a very good boy. Then, I sit down with Dr. Francis Collins, director of the Human Genome Project, which I believe is a super group formed by the members of the Human League and the Alan Parsons Project. Hey, partridge in that pear tree, stop eating all those pears. This is The Colbert Report.