Steve's Family

  • Season 2, Ep 10
  • 11/21/2015

Gary gets pranked while hosting an important dinner, Versus pits a baby against a pack of wolves, and Steve fields awkward phone calls from his entire family.

- Do they even likepotato salad?

Oh, I should havejust brought flowers.

Or maybe mini-muffins.

Darn it!Why didn't I think of that?

- Honey, relax.Okay?

Everyone likes potato salad,

and everyone loves you.

And I'm sure my parentswill, too.

- I hope so.

- Um, just one thingI do want to, uh...

[chuckles]

I do want to tell youin advance.

- Okay.- And you know what?

you might not even notice,but, uh...

[doorbell rings]

My parents are Juggalos.

- Wait, what?- Whoop whoop.

- Oh!- Hey!

Whoop whoop, Mom.- Whoop whoop.

- Hi, Dad.- So,

this is the newcotton candy.

- Oh.What a pleasant surprise.

- Yeah.Uh, Mom, Dad,

this is Stacy.

- Hi, I'm Stacy.I brought some potato salad.

- Oh, ho, clown love.

- Yeah, mad mother[bleep]clown love.

- Hope I don't nurdlein my drawers.

[both laughing]- Craig, what is happening?

- Well, don't be Richies,come on in.

- Oh, thank you.Coming right on in

to this interesting place.[chuckles]

So I'm finishingmy residency.

It's my last day,and I never do this,

but I finallywork up the nerve

to walk up tothe cute internist

I've been seeing aroundand I say...

both: Do you like Fro-yo?[both laughing]

- Well, that's fresh.- Mad fresh.

- So Craig said you guyshave been doing some traveling?

- Just got backfrom the Gathering.

- Uh, pardon?

- Gathering of the Juggalos.

Four days of celebratingthe Dark Carnival.

- Oh, yes, of course.Um, how was it?

- Oh, yeah, Stacy, it was a tripon the wagon to Shangri-La.

It really was.- Huh.

- We met some of the mostpimp ass ninjas around.

I mean some realmurder clowns.

- Yeah, and you knowwho we saw there, Craig?

The Homie DeadCyrus Tha Killa.

And he sendsmuch clown love.

- Oh, how is Dead Cyrus?

Dead Cyrus Tha Killais my godfather.

- Oh, fantastic.

- Oh, Dead Cyrusis pretty stale.

- Oh, no,I'm sorry to hear that.

What's up?- Yeah.

He was having pain inhis popsicle

when he tried to Nutt,and the doctor told him

he had cancerin his nizzos.

- Oh, no.- Oh, TMI.

- Yeah, unfortunately,it spread to his nugbone

and then tohis bowling ball.

- Is--is he pursuinga course of treatment?

- Oh, yeah.He's smoking a lot of mad trees

and he's swimming a lot.- He swam in Hep Lake.

- [chuckles]Whoop whoop.

Yeah, in Hepatitis Lake.20 laps a day.

- He actually looks phat,despite the circumstances.

- Good. If he needs a referralfor an oncologist...

- Well, anyway,enough of that voodoo.

Stacy, is, uh,your set from New England?

- My set?- Your family.

- Oh, yeah.My dad is a dentist.

- I bet he staysfixing crunked grilles, huh?

- I-I think so.

Um, but my momis a veterinarian.

- Oh. And are your folksdown with the clown?

- I don't think that they are.No.

- Well, forks up, forks down.

Mad wicked clown lovefor all.

- Oh!Although kind of a funny story,

My parents actually metat a Grateful Dead show.

So I guess it's safeto call the Deadheads.

[chuckles]

- That's [bleep] disgusting.

- You need to getthe [bleep] out of our house.

- Whoa.What's going on here?

- Ugh.It's just my family.

They drive me crazyduring the holidays.

They just keep on calling meand asking me to do all these--

Ow!What the hell?

Oh, shit. I thought that wasa spider on your neck.

It's justa weird looking mole.

Now what were youyammering about?

[phone ringing]- Ugh.

Nothing.TripTank, this is Steve.

- Hey, buddy, how's it going?It's your dad.

Uh, I actually havea small issue with this laptop.

You know, your Uncle Ben sent meone of those email links.

And once that I sawit was pornography,

I immediately closed it,of course.

- Yeah, sure.Whatever, Dad.

- Anyways, I just need to clearthe browser history

before I give this computerback to you sister.

So, uh, where do I click?

- Just click on the topwhere it says "history."

- Okay, I'm--I'm looking atthe history now.

It says"Super Teen Swallow Contest."

- Oh, my God.- I'll clear that.

"Nurse Takes All Comers."Clear.

"Lolly Lickers,""Lolly Suckers,"

"Lolly Gaggers."All clear.

- You know you can just hit"erase all."

- "Thoroughbreds Ridden Hard."

I think that one's justan equestrian blog,

so let me double check.Whoa!

Whoa, no, that one should becleared too.

[chuckles]

I mean, there werehorses involved, but...

- This is the worstday of my life.

- Right. Here's one called"Too Many Fingers."

Now, if I'm not ready to deleteone of these immediately,

is there, like,a delete later button or...