Funeral Home/Burger Joint/Skydiving

  • 04/04/2013

Nathan diversifies services at a struggling funeral home, puts a burger joint to the test and goes skydiving.

TO PAY HIM A VISITTO HELP HIS BUSINESS OUT.

HEY.- HI. YOU MUST BE NATHAN.

- YEAH.- SCOTT SMITH. NICE TO MEET YOU.

- GOOD TO MEET YOU, MAN.

SKYDIVING, I MEAN...- MM-HMM.

- THAT'S A COOL BUSINESS.LIKE, REALLY,

THAT'S SWEET,SO TELL ME ABOUT THAT.

- WELL, SKYDIVING,IT'S OUR BUSINESS HERE,

BUT IT'S ALSO OUR PASSION.

- I MEAN, I'D LOVE TO DO,LIKE, A JUMP,

TO GET A BETTER SENSEOF THE CUSTOMER EXPERIENCE,

BUT MOSTLY JUST TO,YOU KNOW, LIKE,

ROCK AND ROLL AND STUFF.- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

- YEAH, JUST, LIKE,GET OUT THERE.

- EXCELLENT. WELL,WE GOT SOME PAPERWORK

YOU GOTTA FILL OUT FIRST.- ALL RIGHT, SWEET, MAN.

- LET'S DO IT, MAN.- I WAS PUMPED

FOR MY FIRST SKYDIVE,AND THIS WOULD REALLY GIVE ME

A GOOD SENSEOF THE CUSTOMER EXPERIENCE

AT SKYDIVE PERRIS,BUT MOSTLY,

I JUST WANTED TO GETON OUT THERE AND EAT SOME WIND.

SO HOW HIGH ARE WE GOING,LIKE 500 FEET?

- UH, NO, WE'RE GOINGTO 12,500 FEET.

[clears throat] IT'SA LITTLE BIT HIGHER THAN THAT.

LET ME--LET ME--TELL YOU WHAT, LET ME

GET THIS ADJUSTEDFOR YOU HERE.

- OH, COOL.IT WAS TIME

FOR SOME BALLS-TO-THE-WALLRISK-TAKING FUN,

AND EVEN THOUGH THIS JUMPWOULD BE A CINCH FOR ME,

I WAS STILL SUPER STOKED.

- WHOO!

[dramatic music]

- BUT I'M SUPPOSED--

I THINK--

I TOTALLY FORGOT I HADLUNCH PLANS WITH MY FRIEND,

WHICH WAS TERRIBLE SCHEDULINGON MY PART.

REGARDLESS,I COULDN'T DO THE JUMP,

OR I'D KEEPMY FRIEND WAITING.

SORRY, I-I SHOULD HAVETHOUGHT OF IT BEFORE

AND EVERYTHING, I'M JUSTSUPPOSED TO MEET, UH, MY FRIEND.

- OKAY. IT'S OKAY.- IT'S EMBARRASSING,

'CAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE AN EXCUSE,OR LIKE I'M--YOU KNOW,

AN EXCUSE FOR CHICKENING OUT,BUT I DIDN'T.

- OKAY. OKAY.- WHAT? WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?

- YEAH, OKAY--[clears throat]I WOULD--I'M NOT LAUGHING.

- I'M REALLYMEETING A FRIEND FOR LUNCH.

- OKAY, THAT'S FINE.- I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE--

YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME,THOUGH.

- I...IT DOESN'T MATTER, DOES IT?

NO, YOU'RE MEETING--- WELL, COME, COME.

I'LL--LIKE, I'LL--- OKAY.

- YOU CAN MEET HIM.- OKAY.

- I REALLY WANTED TO JUMP.IT SUCKS.

- OH, WE'LL JUST GO BACKAND DO IT ANOTHER TIME.

- YEAH, DEFINITELY.

[warning beeps dinging]

WEARING A SEAT BELT?- YEAH.

- WHEN WE ARRIVEDAT THE RESTAURANT

WHERE I WAS SUPPOSED TO MEETMY FRIEND,

IT SEEMED LIKEHE WAS RUNNING LATE.

THIS IS SO ANNOYING.

BUT THEN I SPOTTED HIM...

THERE HE IS.

LATE AS USUAL.HEY!

HOW'S IT GOING?HEY, GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- HOW'S IT GOING?

- HOW'S IT GOING?- [laughs]

- HEY, CAN YOU HELP ME OUT?- UH--

- I NEED YOU TO PRETENDTO BE MY FRIEND.

I CAN PAY YOU.WOULD YOU LIKE $40?

- OKAY.- IS THAT OKAY?

- SURE.- I FORGOT

THAT I OWED MY FRIEND $40,

SO THE FIRST THING I DIDWAS PAY HIM BACK.

- SO WHAT WAS YOUR NAME AGAIN?- NATHAN.

IT'S VERY IMPORTANT YOUCONVINCE HIM YOU'RE MY FRIEND.

- ALL RIGHT.- OKAY? ALL RIGHT, COME ON.

HOW ARE YOU? GOOD TO SEE YOU.- WHAT'S UP, BUD?

- I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU FOR AWHILE.- ALL RIGHT.

- DON'T ACT TOO--YOU'RE OVERACTING.

THIS IS SCOTT.

- I MEAN, THE MAIN REASONI WANTED YOU GUYS TO CHAT

IS BECAUSE YOU'RE BOTHPRETTY INTO SKYDIVING, SO--

- YEAH.

OKAY.

- DO YOU EVERSEE HIM AROUND, OR--

- WHAT'S THAT? UM...

- OH, REALLY?- YEAH.

OH, OKAY.

- BUT YOU DID IT A BUNCHIN GERMANY, RIGHT?

ISN'T THATWHERE YOU DID IT MOST?

- MM-HMM.

- WELL,SCOTT MET MY FRIEND,

SO NOW HE KNEW THATWHAT I WAS SAYING IN THE PLANE

WASN'T AN EXCUSEFOR CHICKENING OUT,

SO WE HEADED IN THE DINER

WHERE I GOT TO CATCH UPWITH MY OLD PAL.

- TELL SCOTT THE STORY OFWHEN YOU CAME OUT OF THE CLOSET.

IT'S A FUNNY STORY--TO YOUR PARENTS.

I MEAN,IT WAS AWKWARD, BUT--

- UM, WHEN ICAME OUT OF THE CLOSET, UM--

- AFTER WE WERE DONEWITH LUNCH,

SCOTT ASKED ME IF I WANTEDTO GO BACK AND DO THE JUMP,

NOW THAT I WAS FREE.

MY ANSWER--HELL, YEAH.

SO WE DROVE BACKTO SKYDIVE PERRIS,

SUITED UP AGAIN,AND HEADED ON THAT PLANE.

♪ LOOKING OUT FOR MORE

I WAS SUPER STOKED.

FINALLY, I'D BE ABLETO EAT SOME SKY.

♪ I START A HOLY WAR

ONCE I GOT TO THE EDGE,THERE WAS NO HESITATION.

"THREE, TWO, ONE,"AND I WAS GONE.

WAIT. WAIT.

♪ HOW LONG I GOTTA WAIT FOR--WAIT FOR YOU? ♪

IT FELT SO GOODTO FINALLY JUMP.

MAN, WHAT A THRILL.

BEING UP THERE WITH THE BIRDS--SO PURE.

IN THE END, I REALIZEDTHAT SKYDIVE PERRIS

DIDN'T NEED MY ADVICE,BECAUSE THEIR BUSINESS

IS ALL ABOUT GIVING PEOPLEA REAL EXPERIENCE,

AND IT DOESN'T GETMUCH REALER THAN THIS.

AND HE HASTHE BEST BURGER IN TOWN.

- I HAVE THE BEST BURGERSIN L.A.

- SO I PAID HIM A VISITWITH A WAY

TO GET EVERYONETO TRY HIS BURGER.

MY PLAN WAS A GUARANTEE:TRY THE BURGER,

AND IF YOU DON'T THINKIT'S THE BEST IN L.A.,

GUSTAVO WILL GIVE YOU$100 CASH OF HIS OWN MONEY.

- I DON'T KNOW.

- IT IS THE BEST, RIGHT?- IT'S THE BEST.

- OKAY, GREAT.SO THEN WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

- WELL,I'M WORRIED ABOUT THE--

- UNLESS YOUR BURGERISN'T THE BEST.

- UH, WELL, UM--

- WAIT,IS YOUR BURGER THE BEST?

- OF COURSE,IT'S THE BEST.

- 'CAUSE NO BURGER PLACEHAS EVER MADE A CLAIM LIKE THIS,

BUT YOU CAN,'CAUSE YOU'RE THE BEST.

- WELL,IT SOUNDS GOOD.

- YEAH- IT SOUNDS GOOD.

- GUSTAVO AGREED TO PUT UPHIS OWN CASH FOR THE PROMOTION,

AND IT WASSUCH AN AMAZING OFFER,

THAT I WAS EASILY ABLETO LAND US

ON L.A.'S MOST LISTENED-TOMORNING RADIO SHOW.

- [radio announcer]95.5 KLOS.

- COME OVER,TRY OUR--OUR BURGERS.

IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT,IT'S GONNA BE $100 BILL.

- WOW, THAT'S IMPRESSIVE.- THAT'S--

THAT'S A LOT OF BALLS,GUSTAVO...

- YEAH.- 100 BUCKS, 'CAUSE I MEAN,

AREN'T YOU--I MEAN,WHEN'S THIS PROMOTION HAPPENING?

- IT'S GONNA HAPPEN TODAY AT--- TODAY?

- YEAH.- I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR

HOW IT TURNS OUT. OKAY.- ALL FAITH, ALL RIGHT.

- AND I TRUST HIM,

BECAUSE I HAVEN'T ACTUALLYTRIED THE BURGER.

I DON'T EAT RED MEATRIGHT NOW.

- WHAT?- WHAT?

- SO I MEAN,WHEN HE SAYS IT'S THE BEST,

I--YOU KNOW,I BELIEVE THAT IT'S THE BEST.

- OKAY.- CAN I ASK,

HOW MANY PEOPLEARE LISTENING RIGHT NOW?

both: MILLIONS.- MILLIONS?

- YEAH.- MILLIONS OF PEOPLE

ARE LISTENING TO THIS RIGHT NOW,GUSTAVO.

- THAT'S CRAZY.- YEAH, THAT IS.

- LET'S GO TO FREDDYON LINE TWO.

HELLO, FREDDY. WHAT DO YOU THINKOF THIS PROMOTIONAL IDEA

THAT L.A. BURGER'STHROWING ON.

- I THINKIT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA.

LET ME TELL YOU MY BACKGROUND,FIRST OF ALL--

- WELL, I--WHO CARESABOUT YOUR BACKGROUND, FREDDY?

[laughter]ALL RIGHT, NEXT CALLER, PLEASE.

- STEVE ON LINE TWO.HELLO, STEVE.

WHAT DO YOU THINKOF THIS IDEA?

- WELL, I ADMIRE, YOU KNOW,HIM STANDING BY HIS PRODUCT,

BUT I THINKTHAT SOMEBODY CAN BE DISHONEST

AND LIE ABOUT THE BURGER.THEY CAN JUST SAY, "YOU KNOW,

I'VE HAD OTHER BURGERSI THINK ARE BETTER."

- I COULD SEE THAT GUSTAVOWAS GETTING NERVOUS

DURING THE RADIO SHOW,

SO AFTER,I HAD A TALK WITH HIM.

- SO I SAW YOU WEREA LITTLE BIT NERVOUS IN THERE.

- UM, A LITTLE.[chuckles]

- WELL, I DON'T WANT THIS TO BEA STRESSFUL EXPERIENCE FOR YOU,

SO I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,EVEN THOUGH IT'S UNLIKELY

I THINK PEOPLEWILL CLAIM THE $100,

I'LL PERSONALLY PUT UPMY OWN MONEY IF THEY DO,

BUT IT'S ONLY BECAUSEI TRUST YOU

WHEN YOU SAY IT'S THE BEST.IT IS THE BEST, RIGHT?

- IT IS THE BEST, YES.

- SO WE WON'TBE PAYING A LOT.

- WE'RE NOT GONNA PAYTHAT MUCH MONEY...AT ALL.

- OKAY, SO NO RISK ON YOU,IT'S ALL ON ME.

both: [laugh]

PERHAPS THE MOST POPULARIS RUNNING A FUNERAL HOME,

AND WITH PEOPLE DYINGDAILY

FROM EVERYTHINGFROM HEART ATTACKS

TO COLLAPSINGDURING A STOCK PHOTO SHOOT,

THE FUNERAL BUSINESSHAS NEVER BEEN MORE PROFITABLE.

JUST ASK CANDY BOYD.

SHE'S BEEN RUNNINGBOYD FUNERAL HOME

IN LINWOOD, CALIFORNIA,FOR OVER 15 YEARS,

AND TODAY,I PAID HER A VISIT

WITH AN IDEA TO MAKEHER BUSINESS EVEN BETTER.

UNBEKNOWNST TO CANDY,I WENT BY THE NIGHT BEFORE

IN MY USUAL DISGUISETO SCOPE THINGS OUT,

BUT MY BEARDWAS COMING LOOSE,

SO I WAS TOO AFRAIDTO GO INSIDE,

SO I ENDED UP JUSTCHECKING OUT THEIR WEBSITE

TO LEARN MOREABOUT THE BUSINESS.

SO BASICALLY,YOUR BUSINESS IS DEATH.

- CORRECT. CORRECT.

- AND THAT MUST BEBITTERSWEET FOR YOU.

- I MUST SAY, IT IS.

- BITTER BECAUSE PEOPLE DIE...- RIGHT.

- AND SWEET...- RIGHT.

- BECAUSEYOU'RE MAKING MONEY.

- EXACTLY, EXACTLY.- SO IT'S HARD,

BECAUSE YOU MAYBE GET EXCITEDWHEN SOMEONE DIES.

- RIGHT, EXACTLY.- BECAUSE YOU'RE LIKE,

"I'M GONNA PROFIT FROM THIS..."- RIGHT, EXACTLY, EXACTLY.

- BUT IT'S SAD BECAUSE, "OH..."- EXACTLY, EXACTLY.

- THEY'RE, LIKE, LOSING.

- EXACTLY.- SO IT'S A BALANCE.

- IT'S A BALANCE.

- MONEY WAS CLEARLYIMPORTANT TO MRS. BOYD,

AND I SAW SHE WAS MISSING OUTON SOME PROFITABLE SERVICES

TO OFFER HER CUSTOMERS.

THE PLAN--I WANTED HERTO GIVE PEOPLE

THE OPTIONOF BUYING MORE FRIENDS.

- BUYING MORE FRIENDS?- BASICALLY,

WHEN YOU DIE,YOU WANT TO HAVE

A LOT OF PEOPLECOME TO YOUR FUNERAL,

BECAUSE IT SHOWSTHAT YOU'RE WELL-LIKED.

- CORRECT.- SO I THINK YOU SHOULD

GIVE PEOPLE THE OPTIONOF PAYING FOR ACTORS

TO BE FAMILY OR FRIENDSAT A FUNERAL.

- OH, I SEE, I SEE.- LIKE, TO FILL THE ROOM.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?- YEAH.

- AND IT COULD BEA VERY PROFITABLE ADD-ON SERVICE

TO OFFER TO PEOPLE.- WELL, I MEAN,

IT IS PRETTY INTERESTING.I DON'T KNOW--

- I'D LOVE TO DEMONSTRATEFOR YOU WHAT IT MIGHT LOOK LIKE.

- OH, SURE. THAT'D BE GREAT.

-AND MAYBE THAT WOULDHELP SELL IT TO YOU.

AN ORIGINAL FUNERAL SONGBY NATHAN FIELDER,

AS YOU COME UPTO VIEW THE BODY.

- ♪ HE'S SO SAD

all: ♪ DEATH IS SO SAD

♪ DEATH IS SO SADBUT IT HAPPENS ♪

- JOHN,YOUR EYES ARE OPEN.

YOU NEEDTO KEEP YOUR EYES CLOSED.

ARE YOU--YOU'RE MOVINGYOUR LEGS TOO.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD.DO YOU--

- I DIDN'T REALIZEI WAS MOVING IT.

I THOUGHTI WAS ABSOLUTELY STILL, SO--

- OKAY, YOU'RE TALKING NOW.YOU CAN'T EVEN DO ANY OF THAT.

OKAY, JUST--I NEED YOU TO BE--I'M JUST GONNA CLOSE THIS,

BECAUSE I THINK IT'D JUSTBE BETTER FOR THE REST OF US.

♪ DEATH IS SO SAD

- ♪ DEATH IS SAD

all: ♪ BUT IT HA-APPENS

♪ THINGS GET BETTERFOR FRIE-IENDS ♪

SO HOW SOON DO YOU THINKYOU'LL BE IMPLEMENTING IT?

- YOU KNOW WHAT? I NEED A LITTLEMORE TIME TO THINK ABOUT IT.

BUT LIKE I SAID,MORE "YES" THAN "NO."

- I DON'T KNOW IF YOU DID,AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO,

BUT SOMETIMES,WHEN I DO THESE THINGS,

PEOPLE WILL HAVEA "THANK YOU" GIFT FOR ME.

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU--- OKAY, NO, I GUESS NOT.

- OKAY, WELL,IN THESE SITUATIONS,

WE JUST HAVESOMETHING PREPARED.

- MM-HMM.- SO MAYBE I COULD

GIVE IT TO YOUAND YOU COULD HAND IT TO ME

SO IT'S LIKE YOU'REGIVING IT TO ME ON CAMERA.

- OKAY. OKAY.- OKAY, SO I'LL JUST--

I'LL JUST GRAB IT.

- [laughs]

OKAY.- OKAY.

SO I'LL--I'LL COME IN AGAIN.- OKAY.

- OH, HI, MRS. BOYD.- HI. HI, HOW ARE YOU?

- HI, GREAT.- GOOD, GOOD. GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- UM, WHAT IS THIS?- THIS IS A--

A SMALL TOKENOF MY APPRECIATION

FOR THE SERVICE THAT YOUBROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION.

- OH, MY GOD.THANK YOU.

YOU REALLYDIDN'T HAVE TO DO THIS.

- YES, WE DID.

- SCISSORS?

- MM-HMM.[laughs quietly]

- WHY DID YOU GET MESCISSORS?

- EVERYBODY NEEDS A PAIROF SCISSORS, I GUESS. [laughs]

- ARE THESE USEDOR ARE THEY NEW?

- NO, THEY'RE NEW.- OH, OKAY.

GREAT, IT WAS--THANK YOU FOR THE SCISSORS,

AND I HOPEYOU USE THE IDEA.

- THANK YOU.- OKAY.

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