Blind Date Champion

  • Season 1, Ep 16
  • 07/12/2016

Nikki swaps first date stories with her guests, brings in a focus group to critique a friend's dating behavior and interviews campus rape activist Brenda Tracy.

(audience applause and cheering)

- So tonight, I asked Katie to help me talk

about a serious issue that I feel very strongly about.

- Yeah, Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston.

- Oh, Hiddleswift, no, but I think it's a PR stunt,

I have seven conspiracy theories.

- Ah, seven, that's cool, I have eight.

We're not here to talk about that.

- No.

- We're here to talk about a real issue.

- Sexual assault on college campuses.

- Yep. According to a survey conducted by

the academic journal,Violence Against Women,

54% of male college athletes admitted

to using sexual coercion.

54%! That's the exact same percentage

of people who wanna punch Donald Trump in the face.

- That's a real survey, you guys.

But as chilling as that number is,

it somehow gets even worse.

- In a survey of 150,000 students,

nearly 15% of female seniors said

they had experienced a rape.

- One in three college sexual assaults

are committed by athletes.

- And, in big football schools,

rape rises as much as 41% on days of home games.

Something has to be done.

- More away games!

- No, uh, but we need tostart talking about it.

- Exactly. And that's why I sat down with Brenda Tracy.

In 1998, Brenda wasgang-raped by four men,

two of whom played football for Oregon State.

And even though she reported it to the police

and the university,

she didn't press charges,

and I needed to know why.

Brenda, thank you for being here.

Thank you for having me.

- Yeah.

- So, why did you decide to stay quiet for 16 years?

- Right after the attack happened,

I went and I got a rape kit done

and I reported the attack to the police, in 1998.

And all four men were arrested.

The police felt like a crime had been committed,

they arrested them, they booked them.

But then when the story went public,

because two of the men were football players

at Oregon State University,

it was in the media, itwas in the newspaper,

and the backlash started.

Basically, the bestfriend that I was with,

that was there,

she told me she would testify against me in court,

because she chose to protect her boyfriend and his brother.

I was receiving death threats

against myself and I had two little boys at the time,

so I was receiving deaththreats against them and myself.

And on top of that, the DA told me

that I didn't have a good case.

The DA told me that it would be really hard to win,

and I'd have to go through four separate trials,

which can take years.

- Well what is it aboutbeing a rape victim

that people want to find some...

excuse for it? - [Brenda] Right, they want to

discredit us.

I think it's just because

we just don't wannabelieve that it happens,

we don't wanna believe that people we know

would do things like that.

- Tell me, so, this reporter just kind of

unearthed your story.

- Mmhmm, John Canzano, yeah.

- Okay, and that was themoment that it kind of

all came back into your life,

and you had to, you decided I'm gonna talk about it.

- He investigated my story.

He saw the police report,

he was like "What happened here?

How did the ball get dropped,

and why didn't, why weren't these guys prosecuted?"

What he found out wasthat the DA lied to me.

They had confessions on tape.

So all four men admittedto guilt in my case,

but the athleticdepartment was trying to

get donations andmoney, grants, whatever,

for funding of a football stadium.

And my story coming outwould've been a scandal,

and it kind of, I guess for me, I guess

it kinda comes down to

the worth of my life was whatever amount

that stadium cost.

You can rationalize a rapist.

That's what they do.

They rape. They commit crimes. They hurt people.

But how do yourationalize good people

turning their back on you.

How do you rationalize a system

that's built to protectyou, and doesn't?

So that betrayal is more profound,

and more hurtful thanthe actual rape itself.

- Tell me what, how your life would've been different,

had all of the things that you needed at that time,

say the gang-rape still happened,

but from that moment,

everyone supported you,everyone intervened--

- Oh, it would've been life changing.

I absolutely think that my life

would have been very different.

And I know this,because the second time

I came forward with my story,

I'm getting all that support now.

There's millions of Brenda Tracys,

and I'm gonna do my partto try to empower them,

to use their voice, too,

and to change this,

'cause I think change is possible.

- What can a girl do to not get raped.

- Um, not be any place where a rapist is.

This is not a woman's issue.

This is a men's issue.

Men carry out 98% of all rape.

Stop telling me how to not get raped,

and can we please address the men.

- Well how will it change?

What can we do?

- What can we do?

- Especially if, in college athletics,

and these things thatkeep getting covered up

to protect athletes--

- Yeah.

- What can we do?

- My son wrote a letter to the NCAA,

and he said that you should ban violent athletes.

Like if you've committed rape,

and if you're stalking people,

and beating people up,

you shouldn't get to play sports.

It's only 10% of men in our country

who are doing these violent acts,

which--

- That's a lot.

- Well but it takes us to the conversation

what are the other 90% of men doing

- [Nikki] Yes.

- How do we empower them and engage them?

- When you ignore that someone's been raped,

or you--

- Absolutely. You are complicit.

- Or you try to cover it up,

you're becoming, you'renow the perpetrator.

- Rape does not accidentally happen.

Rapists have on college campuses,

on average, six to eight victims each.

Every single one of us knows someone

who has been raped.

It can be a man, a woman, or a child.

Everyone can be a victim of rape or sexual violence,

and we all know someone.

You just may not know it,

because they haven't told you.

And they may have never told anyone.

- Thank you so muchfor telling your story.

- Thank you so much for having me.

I just think anytime anyone's willing

to amplify a survivor's voice,

whether it's mine or someone else's,

it's so important.

- You are so amazing!

- (laughs) Thank you.

- My full interview with Brenda

is up at notsafeshow.com,

Please go watch the whole thing.

Brenda has started a petition to the NCAA

meant to hold these programs accountable.

This needs to happen because it's scary

how far these schools will go

to protect theirsports programs.

Just look at this CBS News report on Baylor University.

- [Voiceover] Two university administrators

directly discouraged complainants from reporting

and in one case, even retaliated against

someone who reported a sexual assault.

- Ugh, I mean honestly,

that is the most disappointing thing

to come out of Baylor since Jeff Dunham.

He went there.

Peanut did not go there, you guys,

he got into UT.

- Like Jeff Dunham's toy collection,

Division One college athletics programs

are big business.

They generate billions of dollars a year,

and rape is bad for business.

Winning teams make money.

If you want your team to win,

you need your players playing defense on the field,

not in court.

- Football players are valuable,

and it's pretty easy for a university to determine

value in these types of cases.

Take the number of female students

on your college campus, A,

multiply by the probable rate of them

being sexually assaulted, B,

multiply by the average out-of-court settlement, C,

A times B times C equals X

If X is less money than the money

generated by your football program,

then it's more cost-efficient

for you to convince these co-eds that they

were never raped to begin with.

- Whoa, did you learn that in college?

- Oh, actually, Fight Club.

(audience laughs)

- Dope, dope.

- Thanks.

The sad reality though,

is that as long as these sports programs

are bringing in money,

victims will continue to be ignored

which apparently is really easy to do.

Just look at this huge list of schools

that reported zero rapes in 2014.

And I know that sounds like a good thing,

but it's not.

- Yeah, a university with thousands of students

reporting zero rapes,

is about as realistic as a campus

reporting zero dorm rooms with this poster on the wall.

- Oh right, they hand these out at orientation.

- Yeah.

- As Senator Kirsten Gillibrand said,

either these schools don't have

an adequate reporting system,

or they know about it and are just

sweeping them under the rug.

- We can't let them get away with this.

Let's call them out.

- Exactly.

Schools like these don't deserve

the cool mascots they have.

They need a mascot that truly represents

what they're all about.

So here's your new new mascot:

Shushy, the rape-ignoring ostrich

with its head in the sand.

We've got hats, we've got sweatshirts,

we've got anything you need.

- That's what this hoodie means?

(audience laughs)

- Oh my God Ron, I'm so sorry.

- I didn't know this wasa rape-ignoring ostrich!

I thought this meant I liked to eat ants.

God damn it!

- [Nikki] I'm sorry Ron.

(audience cheers)

We shouldn't leave those laying around.

Shushy, come on out!

(marching band music)

(audience cheers)

If your school has ignored campus rapes,

or your school doesn't have a system

set up to report rapes or protect victims,

this is your new mascot.

- Can I hump you? I'm asking.

Don't be an ostrich.

Get your heads out of the sand,

do something.

- Go to notsafeshow.com to sign Brenda Tracy's petition

and watch the full interview.

We'll be right back.

(audience cheers)

(electronic music)

- How is dating going for you?

- I know the older I get, the less weird arranged marriages

seem to me, I'm like, that seems like a huge relief.

- Well, I wanted to notonly help you get better

with your dating game,but I think that we all

need to improve.

- Yeah. - [Blonde] Dating.

So I thought, what better way

than to bring in a focus group?

- Absolutely.

- To watch your three dates.

How do you feel about that?

Here they come.

This is the nightmare.

(nervous laughing)

- I am so sorry.

- You better be.

- I am.

(laughing)

Hi guys!

- [Crowd] Hello.

- This is Dave.

(laughing)

So, what are your first impressions?

- I'm going to say sad.

- Geek.

- He lives with his mother.

- Yeah.

- Oh, shit.

I don't want to hear this.

- Great, let's go on a date with Dave.

(playful music)

- [Dave] Hello!- Hi.

Jackie. - [Dave] I'm Dave.

- Dave, nice to meet you, I'll give you a hug, let's go in

for the hug, yeah.

- So,

shit.

- Are you so nervous right now?

How nervous are you?

- You're like attractive, so yeah.

- Oh, thank you, thank you.

- Are you Jewish?

- Yeah.

- I can ask that right?

That's an okay question?

- The way he's smiling all the time,

it comes out like, kind of awkward.

- Like, what's one thing that you,

that like no oneknows about you?

- Why would I tell you?

(laughing)

I've dated some Jewish girls, I always say,

(mumbling)

Yeah.

I've dated other Jewishgirls, they were fun.

- I usually hear that we're boring.

- No, I thought--

- We talk too much.

- Ah, I feel that--

- Guilt trips.

- No, they seem to be more--

- Overbearing.

- Nurturing, but okay.

- Nurturing, okay.

- Or those other things that you said that were scary.

(nervous laughter)

- This is so painful.

- [Dave] Holy shit. - [Woman] Holy crap.

- Oh, more.

It's got bacon on this.

Uh oh, shit.

(nervous laughter)

Do you have like a special diet or anything?

- No. - [Dave] Alright.

- What's your favorite kind of cheese?

- String cheese.

(laughter)

- I'm asking all the questions,I just want to let you know

I'm being a very attentive person.

- Should I ask more questions.

- Yes.

- [Dave] I should? - [Woman] Ask a question,

yeah.

- Are you into like, hiking and shit?

(laughter)

Well alright, I think the date's over I guess, I don't--

- Oh it's over?

- I think so, I think, that's not the way you would end a

date in real life but.

- Oh.

- He's just not a closer.

- Hey.

Nacho Libre.

(laughter)

So how are you?

- Well I almost left.

- Will you change anything you do on a date

based on the stuff that they've said?

- I don't think so.

- So we're all done here, just real quick,

this is a two sided mirror, and Dave has been watching

this whole thing, and Ijust wanted to ask him

to come in and just say a couple words before he leaves.

Dave?

(nervous laughter)

- Oh man, it's so nice to be in front of you all.

That guy back there, you know,

that guy probably slays a lot of pussy.

Calling me not a closer?

Come on, Jesus Christ.

- Did you learn anything?

- Yeah, not to be part of focus groups.

(laughter)