Monday, October 6, 2014

  • 10/06/2014

Baron Vaughn, Alice Wetterlund and Dan Levy list #LesserBondMovies, watch horrible public access shows and guess which Vin Diesel photos were most popular on Facebook.

>> RIPPED FROM TODAY'SINTERNET HEADLINES, IT'S RAPID

REFRESH.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> AUSTRALIA IS A DELIGHTFULUPSIDE DOWN LAND WHERE

EVERYTHING IS POISONOUS

BUT WE ALL SPEAK THE SAMELANGUAGE --

SPORTS!

THE SOUTH SIDNEY RABBITOHS WONTHEIR FIRST RUGBY CHAMPIONSHIP

IN 43 YEARS AND UNDERSTANDBLYWENT FULL ON RED SOX.

OZZIE SPORTS REPORTER TOMSTEVENFOR THE CAPTURE THE

FEELING OF CELEBRATION AND JOY,AND ALSO, ONE OF THE PEOPLE

BEHIND HIM IS GOING TO TAKE HISDICK OUT.

WHICH HE'S NOT AWARE OF AT THETIME.

SO LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THEBEGINNING OF THIS REPORT.

>>ABSOULETLY IN FULL VOICE, I'MSURE YOU CAN HEAR IT.

>> GOOD, FREEZE. OKAY GOOD.

NOW, WHO IS GOING TO TAKE THEIRDICK OUT?

WILL IT BE A, THIS GUY.

ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

WILL IT BE THIS BLOKE OVER HERE.

OR C, THIS GIRL?

ALICE.

>> I'M GONNA SAY B, THE OTHERTWO PEOPLE PUT THEIR DICKS BACK

IN.

>>ALL RIGHT, LET'S FIND OUT.

>> YOU CAN SEE THE RED AND GREENBEHIND US -- (AUDIENCE REACTS)

>> WHOA!(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> WELL WHAT DO YOU KNOW.

THIS KANGAROO'S GOT A LITTLEJOEY DOWN IN THERE.

NOW TOM APOLOGIZED ONTWITTER, BUT BY THEN, THE FLOPPY

DAMAGE HAD BEEN DONE.

SO, THE TEAM THAT GUY WAS DICKSLAPPING FOR WAS THE RABBITOHS,

BUT THAT'S NOT A GREAT NAME FORA TEAM.

SO ASSUMING THAT THIS PANTSLESSGENTLEMAN IS THE MASCOT --

BY THE WAY HIS DICK'S NOT IN THESHAPE OF AN @ SYMBOL, WE JUST

HAD TO ... FOR AUSTRALIA!

WHAT IS A BETTER NAME FOR THISTEAM, GUYS?

>> HOW ABOUT THE ADELAIDE GROWERS NOT SHOWERS WILL.

>> OKAY, GOOD. POINTS.

POINTS.

ALICE.

[ APPLAUSE ]

>> HOW AOUT THE REALLY BAD NEWSBEARS.

>> POINTS.

POINTS.

>> ALL RIGHT SO, MOVING ON.

SO, LOOK AT THIS.

THIS GIF WAS AT THE TOP OFREDDIT TODAY SIMPLY TITLED "HURR

DURR DURR I'M A DOG."

[LAUGHING]

LATER, THAT VERY DOG WENT HOMEAND WROTE A MANIFESTO ABOUT HOW

ALL CATS WERE GETTING WHAT ISCOMING TO THEM.

"HURR DURR DURR I'M A DOG" MIGHTBE THIS CAT'S INNER MONOLUGUE,

BUT I THINK IT COULD BE THE NEXTGREAT MEME.

I WOULD LIKE YOU TO GIVE MEANOTHER CAPTION FOR THIS, BARON

VAUGHN.

>> OH MINE'S REALLY SIMPLE. CAT,CAT, CAT, I AM A CAT. I'M A

CRAZY KITTY CAT.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

IT'S NOW TIME FOR THE EVENINGRITUAL KNOWN AS THE HASHTAG

WARS.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Chris: OCTOBER 5th MARKS THE52nd AN VERSE OF "DR. NO."

AND WITH THAT JAMES BOND WASTHRUSTED UPON US LIKE WE WERE AN

UNSUSPECTING FEMALE DOUBLEAGENT.

THAT'S WHY TONIGHT'S HASHTAG IS#LESSERBONDMOVIES.

#LESSERBONDMOVIES.

EXAMPLES MIGHT BE, DIAMONDS AREFOR WARLORDS,

OR OCTOMOMPUSSY.

OR SKYMALL.

I'M GONNA PUT 60 SECONDS ON THECLOCK STARTING NOW AND GO! DAN.

>> DIET, ANOTHER DAY.

>> YES, POINTS. BARON.

>> THE QUANTUM OF LEAP.

>> POINTS. ALICE.

>> THE SPY WHO LOVED ME BUTISN'T IN LOVE WITH ME.

>> OKAY, POINTS. YEAH.

BARON.

>> STINKFINGER.

>> YOUR ENTHUSIASTIC DELIVERYMADE THAT SO CREEPY.

POINTS.

ALICE.

>> DIAMONDS ARE FOR KEVIN.

>> YES, POINTS.

BARON.

>> DID YOU HEAR, TOMORROW DIED.

>> AHHH!

>> POINTS. POINTS. ALICE.

>> GOLDTHINGY.

>> POINTS. BARON.

>> ALL RIGHT, THIS ONE'S FOR MYPEOPLE.

PAUL MOONY RAKER.

>> POINTS. POINTS. DAN.

>> GOLDFINGER BLAST.

>> YA, OKAY POINTS.

BARON.

>> HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICEIS STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN BUT

PH BALANCED FOR A WOMAN.

>> OH, GOOD. POINTS. ALICE.

>> JAMES BOND AND THE GIANTPEACH.

>> POINTS.

IT'S TIME TO PLAY EASY ACCESS.

EASY ACCESS.

YES, SURE. THE INTERNET IS FULLOF CRAZY.

BUT IT'S NOTHING COMPARED TOWENT ON DURING THE GOLDEN AGE OF

PUBLIC ACCESS TELEVISION.

THANKS TO YOUTUBE, WE CAN RELIVETHE LOW-DEF MAGIC.

I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU A CLIP OFA PUBLIC ACCESS SHOW UPLOADED

TO YOUTUBE, AND FOR 250 POINTSYOU HAVE TO GIVE ME A BETTER

TITLE TO THE SHOW. ALL RIGHT.

FIRST ONE, THIS MULTI TASKER,THIS MULTI TASKER.

>> WELCOME BACK TO THE LIVEEDITION OF LET'S PAINT, EXERCISE

AND LET'S MAKE BLENDED DRINKSTONIGHT.

HELLO CALLER. HI, YOU'RE ONLET'S PAIN, EXERCISE AND BLEND

BLEND DRINKS. LET'S TAKEANOTHER CALL, HELLO CALLER.

>> BARON.

>> THEY WILL KILL ME IF I STOP,LIVE.

>> POINTS. ALICE.

>> DEFENSE EXHIBIT A.

>> POINTS.

[LAUGHING]

>> ALL RIGHT, NEXT ONE.

THIS FELLA, THIS NEXT ONE.

THIS GUY.

I DON'T KNOW.

>> ALICE.

>> CLASSIC KEVIN.

>> POINTS.

NEXT ONE.

THIS ELDER STATESMAN.

>> ALICE.

>> THE LAST REPUBLICAN.

[LAUGHING]

>> POINTS.

>> HE'S THE LAST ONE.

>> YES, DAN.

>> THE FIRST TIME SOMEONE PLAYEDMUSIC AT THEIR OWN FUNERAL.

>> YES. OF COURSE. POINTS.

>> YES.

>> I LIKE THAT ONE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> THANK YOU.

>> LAST ONE.

THIS HYPE-MAN OF GOD.

>> REPEAT AFTER ME, BITCH...JESUS AND THE POWER OF THE HOLY

SPIRIT, GOD ALMIGHT.

>> WHY ISN'T THE HOLY SPIRIT INYOU, BITCH.

ALICE.

>> THE VENERABLE REVERENDLUDA-CHRISTIAN.

>> YES, POINTS. OH SO GOOD.

IT'S TIME FOR OUR NEXT GAME VINSANITY!

NOW VIN DIESEL IS VIN-ZAYNLYPOPULAR ON FACEBOOK.

85 MILLION PEOPLE LIKE HISOFFICIAL PAGE, WHICH MEANS THAT

EVERY PHOTO HE PUTS UP GETSRIDICULOUS LIKES.

I'M GONNA SHOW YOU TWOPHOTOS FROM VIN'S FACEBOOK

PAGE AND FOR 250 POINTS, HAVE TOTELL ME WHICH PHOTO GETS MORE

LIKES FROM HIS LEGION OF VINDISCIPLES. ALL RIGHT?

OK, FIRST ONE.

GIVING THE PEACE SIGN WITH ABOTTLE-FED TIGER. OR, OR --

GIVING THE PEACE SIGN ON STILTSIN A FIELD WITH COWS.

BARON.

>> I THINK THE ONE WITH THETIGER.

BECUASE OBVIOUSLY VIN DIESEL ISTHE BEAST MASTER.

>> ALL RIGHT, LET'S FIND OUT.WHICH ONE.

YES, THE TIGER.

>> CHRIS

>> YES, BARON.

>> THAT ONE EASY BECAUSE ITTAKES A WILD ANIMAL TO TAME A

WILD ANIMAL.

>> YES, OF COURSE IT DOES.>> ALTHOUGH, SO THE OTHER ONE--

>> IT LOOKS LIKE THEY'RESQUEEZING FRESH BLOOD INTO THE

TIGER'S MOUTH.

>> FOR SURE. IT'S BARBEQUE ANDBLOOD.

>> VAMPIGER.>> IT'S A VAMPIGER.

>> HOW PISSED IS THE TIGER.

ON HIS FACE BOOK PAGE HE HAS TWOLIKES.

>> YEP, ON TIGER FACEBOOK.

NEXT ONE.

FAKING A PHONE CALL TO IMPRESSHIS MAMMOTH DOG, OR STEELING A

TREE TO IMPRESS THIS SMALLCHILD.

I JUST RIP THIS RIGHT OUT OFTHE GROUND.

[LAUGHING]

>> I STOLE IT FROM A TIGER.

ALICE.

>> THE ONE WITH THE TIGER.

[LAUGHING]

>> Chris: THERE'S --

>> THE DOG ONE, THE DOG TIGERONE.

>> YA, OKAY.

LET'S FIND OUT.

DOG TIGER.

>> DOG TIGER.

DOG TIGER.

>> HE'S ON THE PHONE WITHA TIGER.

>> NO, I'M NOT SEEING A MASTIF.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

NO BABY, I'M JUST BANGING YOUTIGER.

LISTEN, I DON'T WANT TO STARTRUMORS BUT VIN DIESEL DEFINITELY

[BEEP] TIGERS.

>> LAST ONE, GOING FACE-TO-FACEWITH JASON STATHAM USING EVERY

TRICK TO LOOK TALLER -- LOOK ATTHE SHOES -- OR GOING

FACE-TO-FACE WITH HIMSELF.

YES DAN.

>> OH, COME ON. VIN ON VIN.

>> OKAY, LET'S FIND OUT.

OH, NO, JASON STATHAM.

>> IT'S TOO MUCH DIESEL FOR THEPEOPLE.

>> WAS JASON STATHAM IN THEMOVIES OR WAS THIS A PICTURE OF

THEM BEING IN A CAR ACCIDENT ONFAIRFAX.

>> THAT WOULD BE AMAZING. OFCOURSE. OF COURSE.

>> YEAH. >> OF COURSE, YEAH.

>> YOU WERE JUST PULLING OUT OFTHE GROVE AND I DIDN'T KNOW YOU

DIDN'T HAD THE SIGNAL ON.

OH, I DON'T KNOW, YOU STPID[BLEEP], YOU WERE COMING OUT OF

THE GROVE.

AS WE JUMP INTO OUR NEXT GAME,CELEBRITY BABY NAMES.

CELEBRITY BABY NAMES.

LAST WEEK MILA AND ASHTON HADTHEIR FIRST BABY AND REVEALED

THE NAME TO BE WYATT ISABELKUTCHER.

WHICH WE'RE OKAY WITH IT, IGUESS.

I DON'T KNOW.

TO NAME YOUR DAUGHTER AFTER THETOUGHEST LAW MAN IN THE OLD

WEST IS PRETTY BADASS.

THIS IS NORMAL COMPARED TO THENAMES ON THE LIST OF MOST

BIZARRE CELEBRITY BABY NAMES ONCOMPLILED ON CRACK.COM.

IT INCLUDES BABY NAMES LIKEJASON LEE'S KID PILOT INSPEKTOR.

OR, MY AWESOME FRIEND PENJILLETE'S KID, MOXIE

CRIMEFIGHTER, WHICH I THINK ISAN AMAZING NAME.

TODAY RYAN REYNOLDS AND BLAKELIVELY ANNOUNCED THEY'RE

EXPECTING SOME TYPE OFOFFSPRING, SO LET'S HELP THEM

OUT BY COMING WITH AS MANYBAT[BLEEP] CLEBRITY BABY NAMES

AS YOU CAN. 60 SECONDS ON THECLOCK AND GO. BARON.

>> OK, WILLEM DEFOE'S SON'SNAME IS WHY YOU DO, SO HIS NAME

IS "WHY YOU DO DEFOE."

>> OK, GOOD, POINTS. BEAUTIFUL.DAN.

>> TALKING HARDWICK.

>> Chris: NO, NO, NO.

WAIT.

>> YES, YES.

>> THAT'S THE SECOND BABY I HAVETO TALK ABOUT THE FIRST BABY.

>> RIGHT.

>> POINTS.

ALICE.

>> TOSH.1.

Chris: POINTS.

BARON.

>> ANDREW DIPES CLAY.

>> YES!>> THAT'S GOOD.

>> I JUST [BLEEP] MY PANTS, OH!AY!

POINTS. ALICE.

>> SPICY TUNA [BEEP] YEAH FIERI.

[LAUGHING]

>> THAT IS AMAZING, POINTS.BARON.

>> TYLER PERRY PRESENTS TYLERPERRY'S BABY.

>> POINTS. DAN.

>> MURDER PALTROW.

>> POINTS. BARON.

>> MALKOVICH MALKOVICH MALKOVICHIII.