Assie Come Home

  • Season 7, Ep 721
  • 07/31/2013

Bender searches the universe for his missing shiny, metal rear end.

Yo, what you doingon our turf?

Chill, dawg.Ain't no thang.

We Cruds.

Well, we Blips,and we over here.

We put up that mirror 'causethis is a blind intersection.

It's considerably reducedthe number of accidents.

It don't do nothingfor the murder rate, though.

Now get down on your knees

so we can blowyour Crud brains out!

(yelling)

Um, Leela, rememberwhen we were trying to guess

what would happen ifsomeone stuck a gun in my face,

and you saidI'd probably crap my pants?

Well...Excuse me, sir?

We're not actuallyBlips or Cruds.

We're delivery people,here to deliver this crate.

So if everything seemsto be in order,

we'll beon our way, a'ight?

Oh, it's far from a'ight.

MAN:Now, hold up!

It's a'ight, all right?

It's a Crud,

and he's got a gun!

Yo, you just shot your ownreflection in the mirror.

It was self-defense.

We are the Cruds,but we're over here.

And don't shoot.That crate is a gift from us.

What?!Huh?

For real?

There's been enough violence

on these streets.

Too many lives and mirrorshave been shattered.

So, yo, we sent you a crateof weapons as a sign of trust.

Together, we can use them

to rid our streetsof the real enemy:

Giant spiders.I knew it!

Man, that's anice gesture.

We accept youroffer of peace.

Let's just have a lookat these top-quality weapons.

I'll test it outon that innocent bystander.

Ow!

Yo, you justshot yourself again!

It's a trick!Get 'em!

(clamoring)

Ow.Oh.

(screaming)

(gunfire, groaningand yelling)

(gunfire, groansand yelling stop)

Look, let's just agreethat gang violence

is an important issuewith no easy answers.

Okay.

Anyway, the ship's still here.

And nothing was stolen.BENDER:Yeah it was!

I got bot-jacked!

(both gasp)

All I have left is my cigar.

Wait...(stammers, groans)

(Tarquin panting)

(grunting)

(hissing)

(screaming)

TARQUIN (over radio):Those sound likeone-eyed corpse screams.

Oh, I wish I was down therewith ye.

Let's not forgetthat this shipwreck

is also the final resting placeof this brave captain.

Place your bets.

Whee!

(gasps)That's it. I'm sure!

I can tell by thewords on the crate!

Oh, my beloved.

You complete me.

(thunder crashing)

Hurry on inside now.

Storm's a-brewin'.

I can feel itin my Weather Channel app.

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